#martinkin

[citizenoftmrrwlnd]

self care for : martin blackwood (the magnus archives) with items for self-soothing, unisex scents, cozy accessories, and anything i felt fit [art credit]

links below the read more!

scarf: https://www.etsy.com/listing/571249362/cable-knit-scarf marble maze fidget: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1655615266/softiesfidget-marble-maze-toy-sensory soap: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1797320532/black-tea-handcrafted-soap-45oz-bar

pin: https://www.redbubble.com/i/pin/Martin-Blackwood-Goober-v2-by-vseid07/160190760.NP9QY

cow sticker: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1818105085/martin-good-cow-sticker-glossy-vinyl roll-on perfume: https://www.etsy.com/listing/791991967/fog-mist-pick-me-up-refresher weighted plush: https://www.amazon.com/Mewaii-Weighted-Highland-Stuffed-Birthday/dp/B0D4M1DFTP arm warmers: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1421553470/gevoerde-vingerloze-handschoenen

[fictionkinfessions]

Jon, if you're seeing this somewhere, I saw a very good cow today.

-Your Martin. <3

✉

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

no meme format to deliver this kinfession-- im in love with jonathan sims, which is embarrassing for someone who tries not to take kin so seriously anymore. i just love him. its a bit hard to listen to tma when i know how horrible of a time he has, ive always had too much empathy. it just feels... disgustingly voyeuristic. in any case, to all jon sims out there, please try to do at least one thing that makes you happy! have a cup of tea, or a hot bath. you deserve a rest.... sincerely, martin

[fictionkinfessions]

i always become sad when i see jons refer to themselves simply as “the archivist”. like... yes, you are, but you also have a name, an identity beyond that. which... i know becomes obsolete after a point. believe me, i know.

i tried to always make a point to call myself martin even after i had been fully taken by the eye as the archivist. it was something of a testament to jon’s memory and a reminder that no matter what, i am still at least somewhat human. even if that isn’t really true at all.

it’s easy to lose your identity when you’re put in a position like that. in fact, it’s demanded. but i know that while being martin never made me special or unique, it made me feel more secure in my quickly fading humanity. and i suppose i can live with that. after all, i chose that name for myself, i couldn’t bear to lose it. perhaps that’s why i was the beholding’s second choice. i was just a little too attached to my identity as a person.

-archivist!martin 🌈

[fictionkinfessions]

I think I'm the only person in the universe who's interested in Martin x Peter... guess I'm gonna have to sail this lonely ship myself. And I mean, it's not like I don't love Jon, it's just, we'll he was in a coma, and didn't show any signs of waking up and even before then didn't show any signs of reciprocating my feelings, and Peter was right there looking after me in his own weird distant way, it was impossible for me not to project those feelings towards him? (source is the magnus archives)

[fictionkinfessions]

hello everyone, it’s your least favorite archivist back again to grumble once more.

i just finished 144, i’m finally back to listening, and WOW, i want to hurt peter lukas. obviously not literally, i’m not going to hunt him down and cause him harm, but... jesus, i want to go after that man like a wild raccoon.

my time spent with the lonely, even if i never became an avatar or even a servant of it, makes me feel physically ill to think about. that was the second worst time of my life, only beaten out by watching jon die. i just feel so disgusted by myself for going with it, for letting him get in my head like that, for listening even a little bit. how cowardly can a man be? i was never meant for that life nor was i meant for the life of the archivist. i was so perpetually stuck between rocks and hard places. i only found solace with jon, and even that couldn’t be bothered to last. one last joke for the lonely to play on me before i turned myself over to the ceaseless watcher, i suppose.

anyways, i want to commit a felony against peter lukas. that is all. -archivist!martin 🌈

[fictionkinfessions]

oh god, i was all alone! i’m going to end up alone! is it even worth it to finish the series knowing i’ll probably end up alone? i’m just holding out hope that i’m kin from an AU but i’m so terrified of having to be reminded of how utterly alone i was at the end. what about me was worth being the sole survivor? nothing! there was nothing! i had nothing special about me, not like jon or anyone else did. why was i the one that lived! i didn’t deserve to carry on his legacy! -archivist!martin 🌈

[fictionkinfessions]

realizing there might be an elias fictive in our system as a martin kinnie is just. (fear)