A woman out of time pt. 6
summary: a few days after James spoke with his wounded men, some of them died. There were funerals on Port Royal for their family. The reader spots him in a bar when she is exploring Port Royal.
CW: insecurities
wordcount: 3291
After the night fell, you walked towards the infirmary to declare the devastating news. Most of them were fast asleep and those who don't, were lost in their head. You saw that a man was awake, the same man that you had to tell the bad news. He stared ahead and you could see in the dark that he had blood with puss on his bandage. Silently you picked up a chair and sat next to him.
''I have to tell you some bad news,''
He turned his head towards you and he nodded slowly, a sign for you to continue. You sighed deeply and looked to the man.
''You're not going to make it, sir.''
He smiled a bit and he whispered: ''I have peace with it.''
''Can I do anything for you?''
He nodded again. ''Paper, ink and a quill,'' he took a deep breath. ''Please.''
Arriving in Port Royal was difficult, Thomas and James had to break the news towards their wives. Groves lend you his arm and you were guided to a seamstress, you turned your head and you could see some of the women crying for their husbands. A guilt filt you up, a guilt that you was familiar with. If only, if only you had the right medicines. The town was beautiful, nothing like New York or Wakanda (not they they aren't beautiful, Wakanda is enchanting). There were no cars and no loud noises, perfect. You saw a lot of tropical trees, trees that you had never seen in your life or simply couldn't remember it and the town was full of liveliness.
''Is it just me or does James not talk much?''
''He isn't really good with words, he finds it difficult to talk to people. It's sometimes worrying if I have to be honest.'' He said to you.
Groves was leading you through little streets and alleys and you stepped into the small shop. There was an old couple doing their work, when the bell rung they looked up and gave a warm smile.
''Hello my dears, how can I help you?'' A woman said with dark brown eyes and a a lot of rimples in her face but with all those rimples she looked very friendly. She looked like a grandma that would always spoil her grandchildren. A grandma, you missed your grandparents a lot, no you missed your whole family. Your parents, your sibling, your grandparents, everyone. You blinked a few times and you tried to swallow the lump that was stuck in your throat.
The woman wore a dark blue mantua dress with a stomacher, with white ruffles along her square neckline and sleeves that went to her elbows with the same white ruffles. It was beautiful, you had never saw this type of clothing in person and you were amazed. Groves explained the situation to the eldery woman and she looked concerned about you.
''I can not believe that you had to survive in men's clothing! Oh poor thing-'' she eyed you, you were still wearing that Navy uniform. ''Wearing Naval clothes that doesn't even fit, how dare they!''
You could see Groves looking to the ground, feeling a bit uncomfortable. You laughed a bit and said: ''Indeed ma'am, I still don't know why they put me into that horrendous outfit.''
''C'mon darling, my husband and I are going to make sure that you are going to wear something beautiful!''
You were quickly shuffeled into a room. The room was stacked with different coloured silk, cotton, linnen and satin. Splashes of pink, yellow, black, white and blue filled your vision and the quality was never like you ever had seen. The woman stepped into the room and had a measuring tape in her hands.
''Alright dear, I need you to take off your clothes, if you are comfortable with that.''
No you were not comfortable with that, you looked towards the ground and started shuffeling with your feet, not daring to say anything. She looked to you and noticed your discomfort.
''I see, you are not comfortable with that. That's alright darling, just take off what you are comfortable with or not, it's your choice,'' and she gave you a smile. You looked up almost perplexed, a choice. Someone after years gave you a choice, tears sprung into your eyes and you mumbled a hoarse: ''Thank you,'' towards the woman. She widened her eyes in confusion but didn't said anything, she only looked concerned.
You stripped off your coat, the waistcoat, your shoes and your pants but you didn't dare to take off your gloves and your blouse.
''If you need to measure my waist and my chest I can unbutton my blouse ma'am, I'm just-'' your E/C eyes bore into a green silk. ''I'm just insecure about an arm of mine, I hope you understand that ma'am.'' you whispered softly towards her. This was the first time you told someone about your insecurity and you were pretty nervous about it.
''Ofcourse I understand it dear,'' she stepped towards you and laid a hand on your neck, an action to make you feel comforted. She looked into your eyes and studied your face, she saw little scars on your face and neck and she couldn't help but worry about you.
''What did the earth do to you my dear?'' she mumbled to you.
You E/C eyes drifted off and you stared at the wooden door behind her.
''What did the earth not do to me,'' you spat out.
The old woman pulled you into a tight hug and you let the tears fall that you were holding in. You didn't know how long you were crying but it didn't matter to her, she only shushed you with comforting words, like a mother would do to her children. Her words were calming and after some time you were only slightly sniffeling, you pulled out from her hug and you wiped your tears away. Your face was blotchy and your eyes were red but still you managed to smile to her.
''Thank you ma'am, I really needed that to be honest, I hope you didn't mind it,'' and the both of you smiled at eachother.
''It's alright dear. I have a lot of women and girls here crying because of insecurities so this doesn't faze me at all. But I do wonder did you cry because you are insecure or were there more issues?''
''A bit of both actually,'' and there was a silence between the two of you. ''You know what's funny?-'' you decided to break the silence and to speak your mind. ''I can't even remember the last time that I've been hugged like this.''
''I am sorry dear, did your parents never hugged you?''
''I don't know-'' and you felt your voice becoming hoarse, ''I uh- I just can't remember it, no matter how much I try.''
''It's okay darling, I'm sure that you are so loved by your parents, how can't they?''
You nodded and mumbled: ''yes, you're right.'' A shiver ran through your spine, that signaled the woman that she should measure you and after a few minutes you were done and could change again in your Navy clothes.
''I will make sure that you would be getting handgloves, darling. Long ones,'' and she laid her hand again in your neck and this time she squeezed a bit.
''Thank you ma'am,'' and you smiled at her, not a small smile but a smile that maked your cheeks hurt.
You stepped outside the fabric room and saw that Groves was still waiting on you, he nodded politely to you and you nodded back. He saw that you've been crying but dare to try to make you uncomfortable by mentioning it. The two of you greeted the couple and you went outside, he gave you his arm that you accepted.
''I'm sorry for making you wait for so long Theodore.''
''It is alright Y/N. I understand that getting your measurements is difficult, you do not have to be ashamed of it. Sometimes I am insecure too when they need to take my size. You have no need to apologise.''
''It really sucks to be insecure,''
''It indeed is.''
Groves explained that your clothes would be done in a few days and he gave you a bundle with coins, because you did a wonderful job he told you and you decided to explore Port Royal. But you still couldn't shake off the feeling for being responsible for their deaths. You were wandering mindlessy through the town, not enjoying yourself. You missed home, you missed your friends and collegues and a small part of you missed your family from the '40s. You reached through your pockets and picked up the small engagement ring, you went with your thumb over it and you smiled in homesickness. Oh how you missed her, your beloved G/N. But you weren't with her were you? No instead you were in the 18th century while she laid 5 metres under the ground in 1944. She's really dead huh? You grimaced a bit and put the ring on your gloved hand, a sign that you were still devoted to her.
You walked further and heard gleefull banter coming from an alley. Curiously you turned around and stepped into the alley, you saw a wooden sign hanging that signalled that it was a pub. You pushed the door open and you were met with the walm of alcohol hitting your face but with the serum through your veins the smell was ever stronger and you made a sour face.
The pub was loud and stacked. People were singing, drinking and chatting their night away and a slight tingle of jealousy was clouding your emotions. You scanned the bar and you hoped to sit with a group of people that were looking nice, but if you had to be honest with yourself you probably didn't even had the guts to ask if you can sit with them. But instead your eyes fell on a man wearing a Navy uniform pinching the bridge of his nose. That would be James. You walked over to him and you saw that he noticed you.
''This seat taken?''
You sat down before he could answer and he lifted his eyebrow.
''Well now it does.''
An awkward silence fell between the two of you and James gulped down his drink while avoiding your eyes. You studied him, his eyes more tired then ever and you could smell alcohol on his breath. Some people were singing while the two of you sat in silence.
''James, can I ask you something?''
He nodded.
''Are you okay?''
He gave a tightlipped smile, ''Ofcourse Y/N.''
''Are you really?''
James sighed and he shut his eyes.
''No I am not,'' he opened his eyes and stared into his glass, you took his hand into yours and gave a light squeeze. He tensed up and didn't knew what to do.
''You can't always be fine, James. Especially after losing some of your men, it's alright to grieve you know?''
''I know,'' but he didn't sound convinced.
You let go of his hand and he already missed the feeling of your leather gloved hands between his. A small part of you missed the contact too.
''Im gettin' something to drink, do you want something too?''
''A glass of water please.''
You nodded, you pushed the squeeking chair back and stood up. Having a better look at the people you realised how much you and James stood out of the crowd, only the two of you were wearing Naval clothes. Some people were eyeing you and you saw a slight movement in their arm. Probably reaching out for their pistol, you pushed your shoulders back and kept an eye on them. You were walking to the bartender while you heard whispering from a group of men a few tables further away. You leaned on the bar and ordered a water for James and a glass of wine for yourself while you listened patiently.
''So I heard from my friend who heard it from his brother who heard it from his crewmate who heard it from a drunken man that there are rumours about an glowing cube than can transport you anywhere where you want,'' said a man who was bald, he had a scar on his face.
Your interest was peaked and you turned your head to listen better.
''Wow,'' said a blond man, possibly a crewmate from his and you could hear other men agreeing with him.
''So we can go to Tortuga no matter where we are?''
You got your drinks handed in your hands and the bartender accepted the coins that you gave him, but you wanted to hear more of the conversation.
''Aye.''
You could hear the men cheering and saw that some people were turning their heads, only for them to be shushed by the bald man.
''Where is it, the glowing cube?''
''That's the problem boys, it's in Tønsberg, Norway,'' and the smiles of the crew went slowly away, but one man spoke up.
Step 3 was completed, you knew the location and so you knew that the Infinity Stones indeed excists here and so you could write off step 1, step 1,5 and step 3 of your list.
''Are we the only one who knows about this?''
You saw that James looked at you questioning why you didn't come to him, but you shaked your head hoping that he would understand.
''No-'' and his voice becames bitter. ''Jack Sparrow.''
''Damn him!'' And another few curse words flew out of the mouths of the crew, but you smirked slightly. You only knew him for a few days but if something interesting was going to happen, he always was present and the Black Pearl still had your timetravel suit that you needed.
You pushed yourself off the bar and held the two glasses high above your head so nobody could knock it over. But how would you go to Jack? He probably is nowhere to be seen in the Caribbean waters. A light bulb went off in your head, you had an idea that maybe or maybe not involved James. You maked your way through dancing people and sat the glass of water down for James, the same people who watched you were still watching so you couldn't really say anything.
You sipped of your wine and you saw that James wasn't drinking his water.
''Why aren't you drinkin' James?''
''Why were you waiting while you already had our drinks?'' He asked you. You lowered your voice and you scanned the bar, not wanting to people eavesdrop.
''I can't say it here.''
He nodded and he picked up his glass and took a gulp, he quickly sobered up and looked a little embarrased that you saw him a bit intoxicated. Suddenly you felt the need to apologise for what you said in your cell on your first day on the Dauntless. But why? So that he can trust you or because you liked the man? You didn't knew why exactly.
''James have I already said sorry for hurting you when I was in the cell?''
''No, but you do not have to.''
''I do, I hurted you and I'm truly sorry about that. I said it- I said it because I wanted you to be hurt, but now I know you more and I feel guilty. So James I'm sorry.''
''That was one of the worst apologies that I ever had heard,'' the two of you chuckled.
''Hey! I'm trying!''
''But what you said in your cell was practically true. I send a lot of pirates to their deaths-''
''You ever felt guilty about that?''
''I don't know, it is my duty to keep the Caribbean waters safe from pirates. If they weren't pirates then I didn't have to, hang them I mean. But they are, so they are a danger, that I-the Navy has to eliminate.''
So he doesn't know if he feels guilty, it looks like that he tries to justify what he did, you thought to yourself. You sipped of your wine, maybe you want him to trust you. Not because that would help with finding the Tesseract but because you find him kind? He's surely not as bad as you first thought.
You hummed, that you understood him and you finished your wine.
''Shall we go Y/N?''
''I suppose so,'' the two of you stood up and he gave you his arm, the two of you walked out of the tavern and the cool air of the evening was welcoming into your face. While you could hear the singing and the yodeling from far away.
The two of you walked to the Dauntless sometimes whispering a few words. It had becoming evening and the sun settled down into the water, revealing some of the universe her stars. The sky looked like a painting with her purple, pink and her orange and you smiled lightly.
''You know, when I was younger I thought when the sun settled down, it would go into the sea,'' you told to him. A memory that you recently re discovered.
''I think that some people still believe that theory,'' he looked at you and you looked at him. Feeling the tension of unspoken words washing away, maybe this could be a friendship or more you didn't knew or maybe you didn't wanted to know, scared to fall in love again, scared to forget about your late fiancée scared that maybe when you fall in love that you didn't loved G/N anymore.
The two of you walked further, to the harbor and to the Dauntless. You saw that James wanted to question you why you were waiting by the bar but you shot him a glance that he couldn't ask now. Under your combat shoes was the wood creaking and you made your stride faster dragging James along. You unhooked your arm out of his and you stepped on the plank to hop on the ship.
''Can you explain now what you heard in the tavern Y/N?''
The two of you walked into his cabin and you took a seat, still admiring the simple but beautiful room.
''When I was at the bar, I heard some people, it looked like a crew talking about -alright im going to sound ridiculous. About an glowing cube-''
James his eyebrows shot up.
''An glowing cube?''
''It sounds ridiculous isn't it?''
He hummed in agreement.
''But it's not, those men heard rumours about it and maybe it isn't glowing and maybe it isn't a cube but every rumour contains a little bit of truth. They say that this cube, what they call the Tesseract can transport you anywhere and I didn't want say it in the tavern because what if someone else heard it or what if they found out I eavesdropped?''
''It really sounds interesting Y/N, but what got the Navy to do with pirate business?''
You knew that you had to mention Jack or some bullshit about how Engeland can be anywhere she wants or else you could never reach Jack in time.
''The Navy has nothing to do with it, but can you imagine: England having the Tesseract in her possesion, securing her position of the mightiest country in the world.''
You could see the wheels turning around in his head and you saw that he was lost in his thought.
''Besides I heard that Jack and his crew are searching for it.''
''Where is it? The Tesseract?'' he asked you.
''Tønsberg, Norway''
''Then we shall be ready tomorrow to make our way to Tønsberg.''
''What about my clothes?''
''You will have that, tomorrow morning.''
A/N: I hope you guys like it, I think this is the most conversation that the two of them ever had lol. Likes and reactions are appreciated!
