I’m the parent of a teenage drama queen (and she’s a hamster, btw)
Mary: oh dad’s home. hi dad! I totally wasn’t just laying under my water bottle and making love to that stale sunflower seed I stashed last week.
Me: hi baby. do you want to come get your cookie?
Mary: um no. i will wander all over the house and ignore your hand proffering my favorite food.
Me: ok, message received. I'm going to refill your kibble.
Mary: oh yay kibble. imma come up and munch.
Me: yes, come to your dish. you can still come get your cookie. I will hand it to you without touching you.
Mary: um no. kibble.
Me: are you sure you don’t want a special treat? do you want a trail mix instead?
Mary: oh yay trail mix. here i come. but no touchie.
Me: whatever you say, you little one-and-a-half-year-old. but no matter what, Istill love iou