#mass effect humans

[senshidiot]

I just randomly thought about how fascinated the aliens might be by human hair.

Like... just imagine.

We are the only ones (as I'm not counting quarians now because well... suits) with this... fluffy thing in our heads, that comes in so many shapes, colours and textures, without having basicaly no function at all. Besides maybe looking aestheticaly pleasing.

Imagine a human child going to a mostly alien kindergarden/elemetary school for the first time and most of the other kids are super curious about it and are asking to pet them.

Or a teenage girl with an asari friend group, where the others absolutely obsessed with not taking her out shoping for clothes but also with trying out different hair styling techniques on her they saw on the extranet.

If there are books for alien parents adopting human kids there is surely whole chapters about hair and what to do and not to do with it.

If a human is they type to dye their hair and it begans to grow out/fade and change colour, it might cause a minor confusion in alien collegues in their workplace because they don't know that it's not natural.

And don't even get me started on the concept of wigs an hair extentions...

[squigglysquidd]

Did Mass Effect Forget Human Ages Lore?

I often wonder if the writers forgot that they expanded the age of humans to a 150-year life expectancy.

Did they intend for humans to age as we do now and just have an extra 70-odd years extra as elders?

Or is a human's life cycle slowed and extended to fill in the gaps? That would make a lot more sense than the former, imo.

I like to think that they have a sort of pause in life around their 40-60s and they're stronger than us at that age. I also believe their bodies don't age as fast as us.

However, Hackett and Anderson really look like they're us at their age. I understand it's for the player to see them as aged and wise but dammit, that would mean humans in ME age so much so fast that it wouldn't be possible for them to even use those last years.

TL;DR: I'm ignoring how haggard Hackett and Anderson look for their -by ME standards- young ages and making adults have a kind of frozen-in-time moment in their lives.

[dr-ladybird]

Hey what if humans are Mass Effect’s first Council species to have dicks?

Dunno what asari have, and they seem to have *some* sort of recreational crotch-based sex organs, but… dick? Maybe? Maybe not.

Pretty sure salarians do the external fertilisation frog thing (when they bother reproducing sexually at all… the males don’t have fathers at all, remember, like a bee. Mordin is immune to SR2 daddy issues as he has no daddy)

Turians are birds. does this imply everyone has the same hole? cloacal kissing? maybe?

what if neither asari nor turians have dicks. imagine the jokes.

[mako-designated-driver]

Don't mind me, just adding young girls shaving their head to look like asari to my headcanons

[perfectmisslawson]

random thought:

mass effect humans live an average of about 150 years which is incredibly old by early 21th century standards where humans only live about half of that amount. but humans also joined the galactic scene fairly recently, which means they still could develop a lot of anti aging technologies to increase their lifespan, possibly using the research other species did to increase their own lifespans as a baseline?

miranda will likely reach an age of 225, and since she only has genes that are ‘naturally available’ (that any human could have, if lucky enough), that implies that a very lucky minority of humans get that old naturally.

so.. there’s still a lot of potential there.

maybe at some point, the average lifespan will be closer to what miranda will reach?

possibly much higher with implants / cybernetics.

now this also makes me wonder what age shepard will likely reach, given how many cybernetics cerberus implanted into them.

[sirianhewigiii]

Human Crew Concept Art

The Art of the Mass Effect Universe

[dr-ladybird]

Imagine if Hackett found out Shepard and Garrus were a couple

And he was cool with the “non-humanoid alien” end of things. Like, it’s not what he’s used to, but he’s old? Apparently this is what people do nowadays? Long as it works for them?

but he was annoyed about the political complications caused by his favourite weapon hooking up with a non-Alliance citizen

[dr-ladybird]

WIP Whenever

For eventual Shakarian fic, when I get round to writing it:

First Known Case of Human Injury due to Sexual Contact with Sapient Alien Life, Dr K. Chakwas, Alliance Journal of Medicine.

Two days into the Shanxi peace talks, a 23-year-old male admin assistant (EM) presented with a severe itchy rash and skin flaking localised to the genitals and oral cavity. He was previously fit and well other than a mild peanut allergy, chronic eczema, and a past history of childhood asthma. Persistent exploration of the history revealed "some fun stuff last night... it works if you get creative" with a female junior engineer from the turian delegation (JR). 

...JR was confused and apologetic, stating she "knew it could happen but it's never been a problem before." She reported a long history of sexual contact with multiple alien species, most of them with similar biochemistry to humans. She did mention a "bit of an itch for a day or two" related to unspecified "shore leave" sex acts with an aquatic cephalopod. When asked if this was a normal activity in her culture, she stated "I wouldn't call it normal, but it was shore leave" and reported the cephalopod's parents had disapproved.

...EM recovered rapidly after standard steroid and antihistamine treatment. He described his injuries as "worth it". Consequently, he was warned to use barrier protection for all future interspecies sex acts.

...Subsequently we have treated two similar but milder cases. Another sailor suffered minor lacerations to the left deltoid area, related to biting fetishism and "overenthusiasm". Turian doctors have reported three cases of mucous membrane rashes, and one severe gastrointestinal reaction to experimental ingestion of bacon.

...We recommend all Alliance personnel contemplating sexual activity with turians to use full barrier protection. We also advise common-sense precautions regarding close contact with a species possessing potentially dangerous teeth and claws. Based on anecdotal evidence, injury risk appears low as long as these precautions are followed.