#master comic book reader

[tessatechaitea]

I'm not here to fix DC's problems! I'm just here to point at them and laugh.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea

[tessatechaitea]

What are DC editors paid to do? Because part of their job description obviously isn't taking a script back to Ann Nocenti and asking the important questions like "Why is Sam calling Selina a tease here?" and "Why is Swindle saying 'Never again' to Vice?" and "Who keeps signing your paycheck?"

[tessatechaitea]

Sodam Yat is apparently a Daxamite. So he's Superman with the pesky allergy to lead. Great! A Superman that can be killed with a musket! Well, at least he'll be useful until somebody hits him with a pipe.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, Excerpt from Green Lantern Corps #31 Review

[tessatechaitea]

Superman has allowed himself to be held captive while Lex Luthor and Batman and Shay Veritas try to figure out a cure for him. With Mister Terrific on Earth 2, I think that means the three smartest people on (or in) New Earth are working to cure Supes! Now if they could just get Cat Grant to help out, they could have the dumbest person on Earth on their team too! Ray Palmer and Cyborg are also helping out. Ray Palmer might be in the top ten greatest minds on the planet. Cyborg is possibly in the top ten guys that can score the winning touchdown at the big high school game.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, Excerpt from Superman #31 Review

[tessatechaitea]

I have to finally admit that I can't tell anymore if I hate Lobdell's work because it sucks or I hate Lobdell's work because I hate Lobdell's work. I don't think I even try to like his writing anymore. And it pains me to even use the word "writing" to describe his output but I feel like I've called it shit far too many times. I suppose I could call his writing a pile of aborted fetuses but that's probably distasteful, rude, and offensive. Notice I didn't add "inaccurate" to that list.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, "Diary of a Secret Scott Lobdell Fan"

[tessatechaitea]

Once The Stranger and Xanadu save Craft from the Crack of Heaven, The Spectre appears to kill everyone's buzz. "Let's get our vengeance on!" he screams as he flexes his pectoral muscles and fucks an Old Testament.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, The Phantom Stranger #19 Review

[tessatechaitea]

Inna future, wes are all jus clones of da same peoples because individual genes don't matter. Inna future, wes all knows the same stuff because we knows nothing but we has access to everyting! But wes don't need to know it all the times so we just tell Knock Knock Jokes and eats da yoguhts until we needs ta know someting. Den, inna future, we's jus says, "Compooter? What's da squared roots of Huckleberry Finn?" And da compooter tells us and den we tells our friends and pretends like we'd knowed the answer the whole time. Inna future, we are all very impressed by each other.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, Justice League 3000 #6 Review

[tessatechaitea]

If I were a super hero or a super villain, I wouldn't telegraph my powers or my intentions in my choice of names. I'd probably name myself The Daisy. Unless my super power was bringing a smile and a bit of beauty into a person's life. Then I'd call myself Wolverine.

Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, Batwing #31 Review