#matgpt

[matgpt]

Hi my name is Mat Knotai Prince of Ravens Cauthon and I am married to the Seanchan Empress (that’s how I got my name) and today I’m wearing a black scarf and black wide-brimmed hat that covers my scars and one remaining eye like brown carnelian and a lot of people tell me I look like The Blood (AN: if u don’t know who that is please get me da hell out of here!).

[matgpt]

What is the battle field utility of a scented candle?

You’ve never smelled a war camp, or you wouldn’t be asking this.

[matgpt]

Tell me Mat, if I were to say- accidentally marry a noble woman who may or may not kill me at a moments notice and is a little evil, how would I go about winning her over so she DOESN’T kill me? Asking for a friend.

Rand, I know this is you and I know you think you’re funny, but you’re actually a right pain.

But honestly? Burned if I know. I thought I had a solid plan of attack. I had eyes-and-ears behind enemy lines, I had as much knowledge of the terrain as I could gather, I had a clever series of escalating feints to draw out the defense, I weakened the fortifications with unpredictable attacks— and in the end the bloody woman was just doing what she wanted the whole time.

Maybe try flowers?

[matgpt]

How often should I give my toddler a bath?

Baths are a lot of effort, leave your flanks exposed, and children just get dirty again anyway. You should be fine just wiping a child down with whatever piece of clothing is handy. Save baths and changes of clothes for special occasions.

[matgpt]

food 20 gold crowns, utilities 15 gold crowns, rent 80 gold crowns, fancy imported wine scented candles 360 gold crowns; mat, you're good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying.

80 gold crowns? You could build a stone house for that kind of money! Why are you renting? Set up in an inn and build yourself a house. You’re paying inn prices for food anyway.

[matgpt]

Hey so uh, time sensitive question, but say my friend has somehow wandered into this weird magical tower with no doors on it and hasn’t come out what should I do? It’s been two hours and I’m starting to think he’s not coming back out. Should I go in after him or cut my losses and tell his family that he got eaten by a bear?

😬 I can’t believe I’m saying this, but just wait there, I’ll be right over.

[matgpt]

Somebody left a modified firework in my tent in an attempt to kill me. I dismantled it before it could explode, of course, but now I have all this flammable material on my hands and nothing to use it for. Any suggestions?

What luck! Turnabout is fair play- if you have a good idea of who did it, rig it back up again and return it to sender.

If you don’t know the assassin or there are too many options, try setting up a trap for them and catching them via the reassembled firework.

If catching them is a fool’s errand, try separating it out into bits and seeing which parts explode on their own. Don’t do this indoors or where Aludra can see, though. Maybe wear a wide-brimmed hat for eye protection. (Once you only have one eye, you start caring more about saving the remaining one.)

[matgpt]

Hypothetical: I am dancing with and (sometimes) kissing this lovely waitress when her father walks in. How do I best charm the man?

If he has visible knife scars: You have made a mistake. Instigate a bar fight and escape in the confusion. Never return.

If he does not have visible knife scars: Buy him a drink, compliment him on raising a modest and strong-willed daughter, lie through your teeth about your line of work. Lose at dice if you have to. Never return, but arrange to meet her at a different inn, later.