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Seanchan behavior

#wheel of time #seanchan #seanchanposting #original content #for extremely dubious values of original and content #apologies once again to my dad who provided both image and original text

Lord Mat,

I have a dentist's appointment on Tarmon Gaiden, and my company commander told me that I have to ask your permission to take off for my appointment.

So, can I have that afternoon off for the sake of my dental hygiene? I'm sure I can get proof I was there.

I know time is very strange closer to the Bore, but the Last Battle is definitely not just one day long. Go get your teeth pulled, we’ll all be there when you get back. Wish I could sit this one out.

#matgpt #answered ask #ankh-morporkianpostalworker #medical leave

We’ve made an update to MatGPT! You can now ask MatGPT your questions completely anonymously.

He is very paranoid though, so using this option comes with a 20% increase in him assuming the asker is someone he knows personally.

#matgpt #maintenance #here at OpenAelfinn we only believe in protecting OUR privacy and OUR intellectual property #yours is permitted on sufferance #if you bring fire/music/iron/any other contraband we’re turning off anon

Hey so uh, time sensitive question, but say my friend has somehow wandered into this weird magical tower with no doors on it and hasn’t come out what should I do? It’s been two hours and I’m starting to think he’s not coming back out. Should I go in after him or cut my losses and tell his family that he got eaten by a bear?

😬 I can’t believe I’m saying this, but just wait there, I’ll be right over.

#matgpt #answered ask #toastandjaime #heroism

matgpt

What is your opinion on spanking?

It has its place.

iliiuan

What age should one stop spanking a child?

matgpt

When they stop acting like a child.

#matgpt #answered ask #iliiuan #this is the imagined opinion of Mat and does not represent the opinion of OpenAelfinn or their board

Loial wants to know what your favorite tree is.

Black yew. It’s the best thing for Two Rivers longbows.

#matgpt #answered ask #iliiuan #trees #he liked Avendesora until he got hung from it #but he’s not going to talk about that. so black yew it is

matgpt

Hi my name is Mat Knotai Prince of Ravens Cauthon and I am married to the Seanchan Empress (that’s how I got my name) and today I’m wearing a black scarf and black wide-brimmed hat that covers my scars and one remaining eye like brown carnelian and a lot of people tell me I look like The Blood (AN: if u don’t know who that is please get me da hell out of here!).

anyboli

A lot of preps (my wife) stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them

#lmaoooo #incredible callback

Hi my name is Mat Knotai Prince of Ravens Cauthon and I am married to the Seanchan Empress (that’s how I got my name) and today I’m wearing a black scarf and black wide-brimmed hat that covers my scars and one remaining eye like brown carnelian and a lot of people tell me I look like The Blood (AN: if u don’t know who that is please get me da hell out of here!).

#matgpt #original content #for extremely dubious values of original and content #found this in my notes app #this is the only place I could possibly post it #I do not wish it to be associated with my main blog

Somebody left a modified firework in my tent in an attempt to kill me. I dismantled it before it could explode, of course, but now I have all this flammable material on my hands and nothing to use it for. Any suggestions?

What luck! Turnabout is fair play- if you have a good idea of who did it, rig it back up again and return it to sender.

If you don’t know the assassin or there are too many options, try setting up a trap for them and catching them via the reassembled firework.

If catching them is a fool’s errand, try separating it out into bits and seeing which parts explode on their own. Don’t do this indoors or where Aludra can see, though. Maybe wear a wide-brimmed hat for eye protection. (Once you only have one eye, you start caring more about saving the remaining one.)

#matgpt #answered ask #gunkstateuniversity #explosives

Hypothetical: I am dancing with and (sometimes) kissing this lovely waitress when her father walks in. How do I best charm the man?

If he has visible knife scars: You have made a mistake. Instigate a bar fight and escape in the confusion. Never return.

If he does not have visible knife scars: Buy him a drink, compliment him on raising a modest and strong-willed daughter, lie through your teeth about your line of work. Lose at dice if you have to. Never return, but arrange to meet her at a different inn, later.

#matgpt #answered ask #necarion #romantic advice

Mr. Cauthon, what do you think a hero is and is not?

My name is Mat, Master Cauthon is my father.

Heroes are fools who want glory more than survival. Just doing what has to be done isn’t heroic, though it’s about as much work for less recognition.

#matgpt #answered ask #pillowfriendly #heroes

Baby name suggestions?

This is not my area of expertise! Please don’t name them after me, though. It’s bad luck to name babies after anyone who’s still living, and I am very much still alive and want to stay that way.

#matgpt #answered ask #anyboli #baby names

Hey I was talking to Spock lately and he said something about the moons of his planet being shrouded in mystery and that there were nine of them. Have you been to Vulcan? I hear it's nice in winter.

I have not, and now I will never go there! Thank you very much for the tip.

#matgpt #answered ask #unmarkedcards #DotNM #tapped into pre-book-9 Mat for this one

Mat can you tell me how to find and capture a badger? I have a family gathering coming up and I want it to be exciting.

Finding them is the hardest part. They like to be in open areas, near food and earth that’s good for digging. Look for the trails of crushed plants leading to their setts, which are holes in the ground about 2 and a half hands to a foot wide. The holes will be surrounded by tamped-down earth or small rocks.

If you see piles of fresh earth and rocks a pace or two around the holes, that’s a sure sign you’ve found an active sett. Badgers have a distinctive musky smell, too, that can help you find them and their burrows.

They aren’t hard to trap. For the bait, you can use a deer or cow bone, or anything foul-smelling. A dirt hole set works well- that’s where you bury the bait in a small slanted hole behind a distinctive landmark like a rock or small plant. Then place your trap in front of the hole, attach a drag or stake, then bed and cover it.

Badgers are diggers, so it’s better to use a drag than a stake, but if you’re using a stake, make it long or use more than one. Finish off with some bait to the edge of the hole and a call lure.

And bring a nice big sack with no holes! Have fun :)

#matgpt #answered ask #toadcroaky #badgers #thank the creator for the internet #I’ve learned so much

matgpt

What is the battle field utility of a scented candle?

You’ve never smelled a war camp, or you wouldn’t be asking this.

anyboli

Mat what’s your favorite candle scent?

matgpt

Expensive.

#matgpt #answered ask #asha-mage #anyboli #candles

yeah rent in cairhein went absolutely bonkers when the nobles realized they could make more money doing short term rentals to tourists than people who actually live here. they call it cairBNB.

How long do you think they can keep that up? Most of those would be in the Foregate, right? One kitchen accident and the whole thing goes up in smoke.

#matgpt #answered ask #femmefurina #rent

What is your opinion on spanking?

It has its place.

#matgpt #answered ask #iliiuan #spanking #in the bedroom and out of it 🙄

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