Summary: On the eve of your long-awaited mating ceremony to the High Lord of the Autumn Court, a guest from the Night Court turns your world upside-down.
Warnings: none
Today is the day.
Today, we greet guests from all across Prythian. High Lords (and the new Lady) and their wives, children, and entourage. They’ll see my mate and I as a couple for the very first time.
Such a wide and royal array of guests wouldn’t be typical of a normal mating ceremony — however I was marrying the High Lord of the Autumn Court, Eris Vanserra, and he had invited everyone he knew or had heard of at all.
Meeting Eris was a dream come true, and I still feel like I’m floating all the time. Maybe one day I’ll wake up from this dream.
I’ve lived in the Autumn Court my entire life, the daughter of High Lord Beron’s general. I grew up wealthy, but my father didn’t spoil me — he taught me how to kill, how to strategize, and how to wield a blade. I became an assassin for the throne, killing off any who even whispered of a threat against the High Lord.
But my father died in the Hybern War, and months later I received a job to kill Beron himself; coming from his own son. I hesitated for a long while, but eventually did it, knowing of his cruelty. When I brought Eris his father’s head, I laid eyes on him for the very first time, and our bond clicked into place instantly.
That was six months ago, and I feel like I’ve known him all my life.
I find myself in our bedroom, wringing my hands in an attempt to dispel my nerves. My hair is done up in a halo around my head, and I’m wearing the second most elegant dress I own — the first place winner in that category is hanging in my closet for tomorrow.
Eris saunters in, his eyes catching on me immediately. He blows out a low whistle, leaning against the door frame. “You look beautiful, little flame.”
I gaze up at him, offering a sheepish smile as a way of greeting. “You look incredible.”
It isn’t a lie, and I find my eyes trailing over him. His rouge hair is tied back into a ponytail, and he dons a black uniform, complementing the muscles at his biceps and abdomen. He’s as beautiful as ever — my mate.
I find his scars beautiful, too. He must have come back from the war against Hybern with plenty of them, but they just add to his handsomeness.
Eris steps forward, offering me his hands. I take them gingerly, blushing when he touches his lips to my neck. “I could just strip you right here and ravish you forever.”
I laugh, and he pulls me up to my feet. I give his shoulder a gentle shove. “Don’t you get started now.”
He simply grins at me and makes a lip-zipping motion, offering his arm. I take it, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder. Reaching up, I adjust the crown sitting on his head, straightening it.
And now we walk down the palace hallway, approaching our guests.
Eris rubs my hand gently, pressing a kiss to my pointed ear. I lean against his warmth, just as we reach the double doors leading to the ballroom.
“Are you ready, my love?” He murmurs, raising his hand in preparation to push open the doors with a wave of magic.
“As ready as I can be,” I laugh nervously, glancing up to the red-headed High Lord by my side.
With one final whisper in my ear, “I’ll be right here, just signal if you need me,” he blows the doors wide open,
A hush falls over the crowded hall as we enter, my gown sweeping behind me. It’s so perfectly my color, and I know I must be glowing at my mate’s side.
I feel a sort of tugging in that moment, and I spare a glance to Eris, trying to figure out if he’s tugging on the half-formed mating bond.
But he just squeezes my hand, and we stride down the center of the room, the crowd parting for us as we approach the dais.
I can feel all of the different tendrils of Fae magic filling the air — reaching out, coiling at my feet, trying to feel me out. There are plenty of the reddish-brown Autumn Court type, but mixed in are ribbons of icy, chilling blue, glittering gold, cloud-like white, warm cobalt, and the ones that stand out the most, six snakes of black. I sort out the widest one of that kind, the one that has that royal, starry shimmer to it, and stomp on it. A low chuckle comes from the other side of the room — Rhys is an old friend.
We step up onto the dais, Eris slipping a hand around my waist to make sure I don’t trip. We turn in unison, looking out on the crowd.
“Thank you all, for coming to celebrate the bond between my mate and I,” Erie’s voice booms out across the crowd, and we’re met with a mix of applause and enthusiastic ‘whoop!’s — people love a good mating bond, especially when it’s a High Lord.
“We ask that you have fun tonight, and please do come and say hello, or we’ll find you ourselves and say hello for you,” he adds with a wink. “Enjoy the festivities.”
At those words, the party resumes, and Eris grins at me.
“You always have been good at throwing parties,” I beam up at him, kissing his cheek gently. “Thank you.”
“Come, love,” he guides me down off of the dais (we never stay on it for long, Eris finds it rather elitist) and sweeps me towards the banquet table.
“Did you make sure there’s those little colorful—“
He interrupts me by holding a macaron in front of my mouth, precisely what I was asking for. I take it happily, munching on my favorite treat.
“How could I forget? They’re your favorite, and they’ll be at every event we host from now on. As my High Lady, you deserve to have parties that reflect—”
This time it’s him being interrupted by an unfamiliar feminine voice. “Are you saying I won’t be the only High Lady anymore?”
Eris and I both whirl, and I smile at the sight of the three people standing in front of us. Rhys, Morrigan, and an unfamiliar woman with golden hair and a crown.
“You must be High Lady Feyre,” I say, extending a hand. “I must say, it was your title that inspired the whole make-me-High-Lady thing.”
Feyre shakes my hand enthusiastically, nodding. “At least I’ll have another lady to gossip to,” she replies with a wink.
Morrigan sweeps me away into a tight hug, bouncing on her toes. “You’re being mated! Oh, I can’t believe it! I do wish the Mother could have chosen a better mate for you, however,” she whispers the last part in a hushed voice, eyes darting to Eris.
I’ve known Mor for as long as I’ve known Rhys — from being found in Night Court territory, trying to capture a beast. They had released me, but found a liking to my humor and had written to me consistently, even going so far as to request jobs from me when they needed someone killed out-of-territory and were too busy themselves.
Mor seems to have gotten over the whole past Eris situation, mostly, although her jibe towards my mate was understandable.
“Rhys, we have to introduce her to Cass and Az,” Mor gushes, glancing to her two friends. “She’d love them.”
I spare a glance in Eris’s direction, and he smiles softly, waving me away.
“I’ll go find Thesan and Helion — you have fun. Signal if you need me,” he says, pressing a kiss to my temple. With that, he walks away.
I watch him leave, until Mor is tugging on my hand. “Come on, they’re probably dancing. We’ll find them on the floor.”
Nodding, I follow the blonde onto the dance floor, my dress already billowing in my wake. The High Lord and Lady are heading towards the dance floor as well, and I can’t help but get a little anxious as the music picks up speed. Eris and I practiced for weeks just for this night and tomorrow. However, I haven’t been to very many dances, having spent my childhood learning the art of being an assassin.
But Mor seems to know that, for she sweeps me into a basic variation of the dance. I find myself breathing a sigh of relief, twirling when she holds up her hand.
“You sensed that I’m not much of a dancer, then?”
She laughs, and it’s a whimsical sound, tilting her head back and putting a sparkle in her brown eyes. “You look more agile than graceful. Like you could be quiet, but dancing would put you half in the grave.”
A blush creeps up the back of my neck, and I avert my gaze. “…You were correct…”
She laughs once more, and then her eye snags on something — rather, someone — behind me. “Time to change partners! This is Cassian,” she spins me around to face a tall, muscled Illyrian male. “The war general I told you about. He kills people, too. Discuss.” She pushes me towards him.
I stumble a little with her shove, quickly regaining my composure and looking up at the man. He’s got an odd expression on his face — like he’s up to something. Something tells me that he’s on some form of mission, but I cautiously offer him my hands anyway.
He takes one hand and places the other on my waist, and we begin a slow, slightly clumsy dance. The clumsy part is all him. “Should I be concerned,” he starts, “that Mor just introduced you as someone who kills people.”
I snort, shaking my head as we turn — and he nearly steps on my foot. “Hardly. That’s exactly how I met Mor and Rhys, anyway. I was on a job in the Night Court collecting a beast for a public execution, by Lord Beron’s orders. They caught me, but found that I was simply too amusing to kill and they let me go.”
He chuckles and nods. “Yes, I do believe they’ve told me that story before. Now, I have a question for you.”
“Is it: how are you putting up with my terrible dancing skills, lady?”
“No, not quite,” his eyes dart from me to the left, and then back to me. Fishy. “Politely… are you really, truly in love with Eris, or is it just a ‘you’re my mate so I guess I’m stuck with you now’ sort of thing?”
I frown, dropping my arms to my sides and ceasing the dancing. “That is wildly inappropriate.”
“I did say politely—”
I raise a hand, frowning deeply. “Cassian. I’ve only just met you, and I can already tell in your eyes that you’re up to something. I’m not a fan of games.”
He holds his hands up in a surrendering way. “Alright, alright. So I do have a motive. But you’ve got to promise not to freak out, little miss mated.”
Little miss mated!?
I narrow my eyes, frown deepening. “Well, get on with it, then. I make no promises.”
He glances behind me, and then nods.
There’s a sharp tug on the half-formed mating bond, and I sigh, whirling around, expecting to find Eris there, but—
Someone else stands in that spot. Large, membranous wings frame his form, black hair swept across his face. He has swirling tattoos across his arms and neck, marking him as Night Court for sure.
I find the air suddenly difficult to breathe, the room packed too densely with people. The soft ribbons of magic are now sharp daggers prodding at my ankles, and I know I must be hyperventilating now, because there is one thing that is sure to me in this moment.
A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Missed any Chapters? Go to the pinned post
Notes:
– With credit to song words (only slightly messed with) Melissa Etheridge “Do It Again”
Nessian mating ceremony.
Idisi comes from Nordic mythology around the Valkyries – ours didn’t want to be a replica of the original female warriors, but something new and their own.
Apologies if you’re fitting this in during lunch break (@TrashForAzriel !) It’s a bit longer than normal
Nesta was not nervous on the day. She was already so entwined emotionally with Cassian that it actually seemed a natural progression to confess it in front of a few important friends and family. Some of the training group would be at the service, some could not make the step from the House of Wind to Velaris proper. They had tentatively begun to call themselves Idisi – the name itself made them more a part of the Valkyrie mythology, Nesta grinned to herself as she remembered Gwyn coming to them with the idea “Well, we can’t just keep calling ourselves the training group or Cassian’s defenders.” Although Nesta quite liked the second.
Nesta had stayed at The River House overnight and Cassian, Azriel and Rhys were to fly as many from the library as they could. Mor was going to Windhaven to collect Emerie who would stay the night in Velaris. All of them might end up out on the town. Nesta was wishing for, and dreading that night as the first she would take as Cassian’s mate and the first time she would return to the nightclubs and drinking bars that she had frequented before her recovery. With Cassian by her side, she knew it would be a fun night. The House of Wind had been entitled to them and tonight she would host her friends. The House had promised to care for them all if Nesta was occupied once they got home.
Gwyn had agreed to sing but she was nervous about leaving the library. The last time she did was to support Nesta and they had ended up abducted. She knew the circumstances were entirely different and the River House was so very safe, but it did not stop the butterflies swarming in her gut or the slight vibrato when she did try to speak at breakfast. She’d put on her best prayers robe. It was a pale blue and pleated around the neck to be fastened at the waist with a gold thin rope. He feet were shod in thick leather slippers that would protect her while travelling and walking in the garden.
There were just five of them to attend from the priestesses and being that Azriel and Rhys could winnow, they took Margot, Lorelei, Deirdre and Roslin. Cassian was grinning at Gwyn. “I think that the first Idisi to cut the ribbon with her sword should have no problem getting a ride to MY mating ceremony with her best friend’s mate?”
Gwyn laughed a nervous laugh and pursed her lips. “No, you wouldn’t think so would you” She stepped toward him and stood at his side, offering her arm for him to take. Cassian wrapped one arm around her waist and took her forearm with his other hand. “I’ll hold you and I promise I will not let you fall”
She nodded but closed her eyes. The hand around her hip was firm not punishing and his other hand was gentle on her arm. She told herself over and over. It’s OK, this is Cassian, it’s OK”
“No harm will come to you” Cassian had sensed her thoughts and she tried to look up at him, to give permission for this flight. He grinned down at her
“Don’t have too much fun will you” and launched off the training area into the bright summer sky. Gwyn screeched, not in a scared way she surprised herself, but with exhilaration. Cassian merely flapped harder to get into the slip stream heading up the face of the cliff from the city. As they got into that rising warm air he extended his wings to their widest (Gwyn remembered something that Nesta had told her that night in the library of the House of Wind, about Illyrians wing spans), but she shut down that thought as they began spiralling down, down, so smooth, so free.
The feeling was immense. She had shut herself out of this world for years now and could suddenly see what she might be missing. Yes, High Fae, Illyrians and half breeds like her, could all be cruel to each other. There was also this, flying (she was flying for the Mother’s sake) and heading to a celebration of love of togetherness and she loved her friends. She felt wonderful and alive and impatient to enjoy more.
The garden and lawn of the River House (it should be called the River Palace she thought), looked picture perfect today. Elain had worked hard on getting the flowers to bloom, in the right colour order to suit where Nesta would stand. Rhys had spared no expense in the set up of a pavilion and chairs, with a spread of food for all, once Cassian and Nesta had officially Mated.
Cassian could sense her excitement and a change in her scent from flat out petrified to wonder and a happy nervousness. One more thing that he could do to make her comfortable was to set her down where Mor and Emerie were talking at the outskirts of the party.
“Thank you Cassian” Gwyn stood on her tip toes to peck him on the cheek. “I did not know that it would be like that, so free. I can’t really explain it”
Cassian merely shrugged and replied “You don’t have to. I am glad that you are here, and that Nesta doesn’t have to attempt murder because I scared her friend!” He winked and headed off to Rhys and Azriel who were clucking over baby Nyx.
“Gwynie, oh wow, you are so lucky. How was the flight? It looked so glorious today and you took the slow way down. Oh, I am so jealous” Emerie was at her side and Mor a step behind.
“It’s nice to see you Gwyn” Mor intoned. There was more to that statement than your average greeting. It’s nice to see Gwyn in Velaris, it’s nice to see Gwyn outside the protection of the library. The first time that Mor had met Gwyn, she had just been repeatedly raped and her world was imploding. Mor here, in the sun on this grassy expanse of the river flat was a beautiful sight. Her words were a balm and Gwyn just nodded.
“It is so nice to see you again” she replied, again meaning a lot more than pure greeting.
Emerie took Gwyn’s arm but steered her close to Mor as they seemed to be in the middle of something “Just stay here until you have to sing will you Gwyn?” her friend insisted “I’ll get you a drink and we can applaud from here!”
Mor laughed at that and the two of them returned to talk of fabrics and colours and what Emerie sold in her shop and what Mor wanted to show her from Vallahan that was “like a second skin that shows every curve and highlights every asset” Whatever that meant. Emerie was immersed in the conversation and brought Gwyn in on it every now and then to suggest a colour for her or to ask her opinion. Gwyn was happily edging the topics as she was having more fun watching the others, Cassian being teased by his “brothers”, Feyre taking Nyx away from them before Rhys threw the boy high enough he’d have to learn to fly to get back, and Elain talking with some others whom Gwyn did not recognise. An auburn haired Fae with a mechanical eye. One of the sons of the Autumn Court by the looks. She remembered that Nesta did not like him much but that Feyre and he were on good terms. Elain seemed very quiet. Gwyn understood her shyness.
Emerie whispered to Gwyn “The red headed male is Lucien, Elain’s mate” she just nodded her head and looked their way. There was no explanation necessary, the relationship apparent. That mating was not the happy affair that Nesta and Cassian were celebrating. Elain looked a little more alive when Azriel joined their group, but Az stayed by Lucien’s side and spoke politely to all before moving to seat people around the central point of the yard, an altar and a table.
Gwyn was not at all present, she realised. The small tension of singing while Cassian and Nesta would be preparing and eating food together had been overtaken by the large stressor of being surrounded by people that she did not know. She found a place backing on to a heavily thorned rose bush bursting with red flowers. She felt better having her back protected. Little tremors shot up her spine and across her skin every few minutes and she held one hand in the other so that she could hold herself still. Deep breathing was the only thought that she had, her singing voice would not appreciate having no wind. Emerie touched her arm every now and then, but she was engrossed in the service and in leaning in to Mor’s side to whisper comments.
Gwyn found Emerie leading her toward the centre of the gathering and realised that she had better be ready to perform. A few strong breaths down into her stomach and she found her place, Nesta smiled through some tears as she moved aside to the table with food, Cassian so pleased, the look on his face many of them had never seen before.
Gwyn tried to look over the small crowd, but her gaze snagged on the darkness in one corner. Azriel. He gave her an encouraging nod and she was able to start
The song had originally been a nightclub hit, Nesta had played it for her on the Synphonia. Gwyn had tweaked it a little bit to be more soulful. More like a prayer.
Walked your fire I got a little bit burnt
Hold on tight cause I, I never did learn
You were the one they tried to warn me about
I jumped into your ocean knowing I could never get out
Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love
Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because
I walk straight through your mountain
Crawl right under your sea
And if you do not know it by now
You're the only one who does this to me
But I’d do it again
Yes I'd do it again
Even when I'm tired and my feelings are hurt
Never lost desire only made things worse
I hope I'm holding out for something good
Cause we're that combination yeah we're the kind that could
Oh darling it hurts, hurts to be in love
Oh darling it hurts but I do it just because
I walk straight through your mountain
Crawl right under your sea
And if you don't know, know it by now
You're the only one who does this to me
But I'd do it again
She looked up to see Cassian kissing Nesta passionately and smiled to herself. Only to become more self aware as people started to approach her with congratulations and it was hell.
Emerie was making her way to help, with Mor at her side, but Azriel and his shadows dispersed the few gushing admirers with excuses and subtle manoeuvring to suddenly be next to her. He lightly took her arm and guided her into the house and to the summer parlour by the kitchen. He sat her down on the nearest armchair and stepped back toward the door. “Wait Azriel, please” She was surprised to hear her own voice in such a clear request.
Azriel simply turned and stopped. He did not want to be closer to this woman than he already was. She was so beautiful and her singing always seemed to open a door to his emotions. He could not hear her without remembering old forgotten feelings of being held by his mother, of being full, not the furtive being that he had become. It was undoing his resolve, his very footing on the earth.
Gwyn composed herself and looked straight at Az. “Thank you for helping me out of that situation. I didn’t want to be with so many people, but I don’t want to be alone either.”
It took three steps for Azriel to be seated next to her and looking around the room, not at her. He looked at her all of the time. He couldn’t do it now. His chest was thundering. Do not ruin this Az, he thought savagely. This woman has been through hell. Do not overstep
“I have to tell you something Gwyn” he knew once he started he would have to finish this. “I have noticed you wearing a chain at training…”
“Oh well, it’s OK if I shouldn’t wear it, it’s nothing much”
Az swallowed his next words and re-thought where he was going with this. “Really, it’s nothing much?”
Gwyn blushed a little. “Well, I do really like it but it was an anonymous gift and I probably will never know who gave it to me, it shouldn’t be important to me”
Azriel decided then to struggle on. This could not stand. “It was me”
The room was silent. Gwyn’s face went through about fifteen expressions while he watched and waited. She looked sad then like she would yell at him, then pensive, finally she looked at him and spoke. “Why?”
“You are not going to like this, but I am going to tell you the absolute truth. That is all I can promise you” Azriel got out of the chair and started to walk this way and that about the room.
“I bought the jewel and the chain for Elain before Winter Solstice, I know that sounds bad, but please listen” Gwyn was discomforted but not scared. Azriel having feelings for her would be more scary.
“Rhys made me understand that any relationship outside of her being a sister to me was off the table. So Elain and I talked and she is my sister now. She will be making changes and I will support her decisions, but we will not be together”
Gwyn was struck dumb as to how she would feature in this story. How she became a part of this story.
Azriel could tell he was losing her. “After that night when you were training in the dark” She did smile at that “I wanted to give you something that was just appreciative of you”
“Do you think that Elain will see this and be upset?” Gwyn took the rose out of her top and it caught the sun. Azriel held himself together at the sight of Gwyn seated before him, rose between the thumb and forefinger and an absolute innocent look on her face.
“I, well, I hadn’t thought of that” he shifted to the far wall of the room and looked out over the gathering and smiled at his brother being fed bread by Nesta and laughing with less worry than he had even seen. He didn’t notice Gwyn had got up from her chair and approached him. When he turned back to her she was under his nose and he stepped back hurriedly
She had never felt threatened by Azriel, never nervous in his presence, but his closeness, his casual demeanour. He was not her trainer today. She held out the chain with the rose dangling and handed it to him.
“I think that it was a lovely gesture Azriel”, she liked the sound of his name and wanted to say it more, to moan it. “But, I think that you should take it back. Keep it until you can tell Elain that you found someone that you really want to see wearing it forever.” Azriel held out his hand and accepted the chain, quickly pocketing it with shame written across his downturned face at her words.
“Thank you, for thinking of Elain Gwyn. Five hundred years is not enough time apparently to turn me into a thoughtful male”
Gwyn could not bear the tone of his voice or the hunch of his shoulders. This was not Azriel on the back foot, this was him retreating. She knew the feeling. The self-loathing, the depression. It was not something that she wanted for him.
“Don’t say that. Don’t think that you are not every bit as noble as the best males in Velaris. You are thoughtful and you are kind. Think of all of our friends, our Idisi who are starting to feel, whole again.” She touched his cheek with a shaking hand “Think of me Azriel. I would be dead, and without the training I would be close enough to dead that there is little difference”
His eyes found hers but she stepped back away from him, hand still in the air between them.
“Azriel, would you walk with me in the garden?” She raised her elbow for him to take it, prayed that he would take it. He hesitated only a moment before sliding his arm through hers and they left the parlour then the house.
The party was getting properly started now, Cassian and Nesta had left, but that was no big deal, they would resurface later in the evening and it was the guest’s responsibility to eat, drink and enjoy themselves. It was being accomplished. Mor and Emerie were talking, heads close together by the edge of the crowd. Gwyn saw Elain speaking with Lucien in the company of Feyre and Nyx. That baby certainly garnered attention. Some of the priestess’ saw Gwyn with Azriel and waved them over.
They spoke for a little while, but the overall impression was that they were generally ready to leave. Lorelei and Deirdre had enjoyed perhaps a smidge too much strawberry wine and were giggly enough for the others to worry about their choices over the next few hours. The others had felt pleased and proud to be at the ceremony, but the ongoing music, drinking and laughing was not what they wanted for their first trip out from the library in an age. Azriel went to speak to Rhys, leaving Gwyn with the others with a smile and a nod that he would arrange transport for them.
Emerie found them and spoke to Gwyn “I think I’m going to stay here”, she nodded to Mor. “She has invited me to go out to Velaris to a night Club! I think I’m going to like it. Mor said she’d take me to the House of Wind to the guest suite whenever I wanted to leave.” Emerie’s cheek flushed as she said “I can’t believe she’s here talking to me,…. I really like her” the last quietly and aimed only for Gwyn
“That’s great Em, you seem comfortable today, you look; yourself” Gwyn had noticed the calm stance and the open face while Emerie talked with Mor. She was really at home here.
“I feel amazing Gwynie, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. Free and happy and maybe,…excited” She hugged Gwyn. “Do you want me to ask Mor to winnow you home?, you look tired. Oh, where’s your chain?”
Gwyn looked slightly unsettled “Can I tell you about that later? , it’s alright though” She smiled to show Emerie that she was really fine with the loss and added “Would it be silly of me to ask, could I suggest that Mor help with Deirdre and Lorelei and the others? I’d like to speak to Azriel”
Emerie noted the confidence in Gwyn’s request and the lift of her head. She was sure about this.
“OK, sure. I’ll see what I can do” Emerie squeezed Gwyn’s hand then turned to Mor who was speaking with Lucien now.
Gwyn focused on the rose bushes and wandered around the edge of the revellers. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to Azriel about, but she couldn’t leave him tonight without another word. She wanted to make sure that he was good. That he knew she was a friend. She was happy with her decision to give up the necklace. Even though the thought that it had been from Azriel was thrilling and scary all at once. She had now made a plan that he would find in the future, a need to gift it back to her with emotions attached. She didn’t know why that thought had occurred to her. It was something she could not have imagined before today.
Azriel approached her as if summoned. He was looking down and around, anywhere but her face, so she lifted her hand for him to take and stared him down. “I wanted to ask you, if you wouldn’t mind, could you please fly me home?
Azriel’s shock at the request was covered quickly. What he did know was that Gwyn was asking for physical contact with him. Winnowing only required the slightest touch. A hand or an arm. Flying on the other hand would be body contact on a larger scale. This was her choice. He nodded his head, lost for useful words. He didn’t want to sound like a clumsy novice male. He merely stretched an arm out for her to step into his side.
Gwyn turned to Emerie and Mor who were organising the other Idisi and gave them a smile. Emerie grinned in return and Azriel wrapped her in an embrace that was solid and calming yet her blood pounded and her eyes blinked. She couldn’t remember feeling so safe.
His wings spread and flapped and Azriel bent his knees and sprung into the breeze of the evening. Gwyn found herself tightening her grip around his neck and bringing her face closer to his
“You’re safe” is all he said
Gwyn simply replied “I know”
The trip down with Cassian had been exhilarating and freeing, the flying back required going across Velaris, coming to life with street lights and coloured flashes from the restaurants and dance rooms opening for the night. Gwyn got the feeling that she was missing a lot so she turned her head and took in the marvel of the city, the lights and the sun setting across the ocean. “Oh my goodness, Azriel, it is so beautiful” Azriel smiled and nodded, but he too looked properly at that view re-appreciating what he always knew was there. Trying to see it as Gwyn saw it for the first time brought a wonder to his heart that he had forgotten.
Gwyn looked at his face, and he caught her eyes. It was a charged moment. Azriel composed himself first and looked out to the sea and the river. With his free hand he began to point out landmarks and favourite haunts. From the Rainbow where Feyre went to paint and to teach, to the townhouse in the residential area and of course the sparkling flashing lights of Rita’s – their most frequented nightclub. “I guess I’ll be finding Mor and Emerie and probably the others there later” he smiled to think of what he knew of Mor now and the simmering looks that she and Emerie had been sharing during the ceremony. Only happiness filled him at the thought.
Gwyn was getting comfortable and moved a little in his arms. She squealed as she felt herself slip, but Azriel simply held her tighter and put his other arm under her legs, carrying her through the air like a princess. She surrendered, just for now she told herself, to the warmth and the stillness here in his chest.
Azriel relaxed into the embrace and flew steadily ignoring the thundering of his heart and the closeness of her lithe warrior’s body. The distance was covered all too soon and he stepped onto the roof of the house, jogging a few steps toward the double doors before coming to a halt. He placed her on the ground feet first, before facing her with his arm still around her middle. Gwyn stepped away first and walked backwards toward the entrance. She smiled at him
“Thank you Azriel” She looked down as if remembering where that jewel had rested until this afternoon. “I did really love that chain” She winked, as she had to him once before. This was not a student teacher interaction, this was a suggestion, a question to his searching. He took a step toward her and she held up a hand
“See you at training” and she turned, with every fibre of her being she kept walking toward the library. Willing him to watch her, to make a plan for the future to stop her from walking away. But not today. She was tired, she was wrung out and she did not trust herself to spend any more time with this male. He had opened too many doors within her to be careful of her wellbeing. She needed more time.
Azriel was old. He had bedded women across continents and had held a candle for Mor since he could remember wanting. Gwyn had him questioning any reaction that came to mind. Instead of those he just whispered “You will” He meant more than training tomorrow. He fully intended to show her what a thoughtful, evolved Illyrian male could evoke in a woman. She would not have a straw of fear left for him by the time she came to him ready to accept the necklace as truly hers.
*
A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Click here to find earlier chapters
Azriel flew a leisurely course back to the River House, enjoying the fligh
Fact 62: Mating ceremonies happen when two or more packs want to converse with the soul purpose of finding mates for those in he pack. It’s usually like a formal party, one can expect snacks and music and dancing and lots of conversation.
Fact 63: Mating ceremonies must be held in neutral territory (at least involving the packs who are participating).
Fact 64: In a mating ceremony, if someone asks another to dance it means they're interested in them. "Care to dance?" means "May I try to court you?"
Nesta hated herself on most days. She knew everybody thought she had suddenly been cured of all the evil thoughts in her head. She could see it in their faces. She didn’t want to disappoint them. Disappoint them by screaming at them, or perhaps just leaving them all be. She loved them - well she loved Cassian and Feyre and Elain and Azriel perhaps even Amren although nothing was perfect between them either. They had come to a sort of mutual conclusion on not to stare at each other with anger. She liked Rhys and Mor liked them but she never had had enough conversations with them. At least none of them hated her anymore. She supposed that was the biggest thing in it self.
She was still plagued by thoughts like would Cassian get tired of her and leave? She loved him. Loved him with all her broken pieces and she was glad to have him by her side. She knew if someone ever questioned the love between them Cassian would probably throw them of a cliff and then shout at them for even thinking their love wasn’t true. In fact Nesta knew their love was pure and everything good. But she wondered how much would Cassian perhaps suffer with her, before he realised she didn’t really matter.
Her heart was pounding in her chest now. She tore off the blue gown she was wearing and put on her Illyrian leathers. She could feel the House’s presence an almost questioning one. She headed to the stairs. She was allowed to leave the House Of Wind anytime now. She could have asked Cassian who was in his older room taking care of all the blades that he had hidden in it and slowly putting them in their bedroom. But she liked taking the stairs. She liked thinking about everything as she walked down. She let her thoughts pass on her. It calmed her, calmed all the roaring that still occurred in her brain.
She let herself think about all the thoughts that had been plaguing her as the mating ceremony neared. She let herself think. She thought about how maybe Cassian might leave her in the future. It was a horrible thought but she acknowledged it. Mind - Stilling was always better when she was exercising or dancing when she did it. She let the thoughts crash into her as she descended down the stairs.
Perhaps Cassian would leave her, but right now she would enjoy all that she had off him. Perhaps the roaring would never go away but she didn’t want to go back into the void of not feeling anything. Perhaps it would taker her years to heal completely but she would do it. She would do it for Cassian and for Emerie and Gwyn, but most importantly she would do it for herself.
She let herself think of Gwyn and Emerie, she knew she would always have them. Valkyraes. She was glad that she had met them. She had never understood the brotherhood of Illyrians before she had fought with them at Ramiel. At least they had an eternity together. An eternity to send smutty books to each other, eternity to talk about mini Pegasi an eternity to heal and fight together. To always find each other. She was glad she had that reassurance. She had reached the bottom when Cassian flew down to her as she opened the door to Velaris.
“Climbing down stairs Nes - am I not tiring you out enough.” Cass said as he smirked slyly at her but she could see the hint of worry in his eyes.
“Just thinking about things besides why would I tire.” She said as she passed a grin at him, thinking of the many many reasons why she should be tired. Cassian grinned at her before his face became slightly more serious.
“You okay?” He asked. His eyes looking at her with such will that she wanted to pour all her thoughts into his palms. So she did. It was the best thing - perhaps apart from the soul breaking sex they had - that they were always honest about their feelings. The anger the sadness and the joy. He didn’t expect her to always be happy and for Nesta that was perhaps the best thing in the world.
“Would you tire of me,” she looked at her boots as they walked on the cobbled streets. “Would you tire of me if all of my anger and hurt never left, if some part of all of that still lingered.” She looked up to look at Cassian’s face as she finished the question.
He had stopped, his eyes looking straight at her, as if they could see in her soul. He took her hand in his and squeezed it as he said “I could never tire of you Nes, you could take all of eternity to heal yourself but I would never tire of you. You could become Lady Death again and I would love you. I could never ever tire of you.”
Summary: After being interrupted by your newfound mate, you go for a walk for him. The next morning, you find yourself busier than expected.
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: very slight suggestiveness
A/N: Requests are OPEN! Check my pinned message for details on what I'll write <3 jjk, aot, mha, csm, acotar, etc! Additionally, I'm starting Throne of Glass soon, so those fics may be requested later!
Azriel stands there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. His expression is perfectly neutral, eyes simply flicking over us both.
“Apologies for interrupting,” Azriel murmurs, gesturing between us.
Eris tucks me further behind him, and I grip the back of his shirt. “You are interrupting,” he scowls, glancing back at me. “Love, would you like to go back to the room?”
I open my mouth to reply, but not before Azriel does. “Actually, I wanted to talk to her.”
Shrinking, my body buries into the back of Eris, a futile attempt at turning invisible. I would rather jump into a pit filled with the Bogge, puca, and very angry pixies than have to face this other-mate.
Eris glances at me, raising a questioning brow. He’s leaving the decision in my hands: talk or run?
With a heavy sigh, I nod towards the Shadowsinger and release him. I’m going to have to face him at some point, especially if he’s already figured out the whole bond-pulling thing.
Eris presses a kiss to my temple, and leans down to murmur in my ear. “Remember that I love you no matter what. Good luck, and tug if you need me.” With that, he shoots Azriel a ‘hurt-her-and-you-lose-your-hands look, and stalks down the hallway.
I stare down at my shoes, arms crossed over my chest. When Eris vanishes from my peripheral vision, I feel both smaller and a little more relaxed.
Note to self: NEVER have my two mates in a room ever, ever again.
Azriel steps in front of me, gingerly offering a tanned, muscled arm. “Go for a walk with me?”
Hesitantly, very hesitantly, I take his arm. He shoots me a wary smile in return, and we’re off to the gardens.
I feel as though I need to hold my breath, like if I make one wrong move, or breathe wrong, or trip, then I’ll have betrayed Eris.
Azriel must feel how tense I am, because I can feel his intense gaze on the top of my head when he murmurs, “I don’t expect you to find this perfectly normal, or to be relaxed, or calm in any way right now… But I wouldn’t dream of hurting you, and I hope you know that.”
“You wouldn’t be able to hurt me,” I reply. “You wouldn’t be able to land a hit.”
He chuckles, grinning at me before returning to looking around. “These flowers are beautiful, who takes care of them?”
I shrug, reaching out my free hand to graze a fully bloomed hydrangea, bursting with violet pigment. “Mostly it’s the gardeners Eris and I picked out when he rose to power, though I dabble in my free time. Although, Eris has yet to let me go beyond watering these, after I killed the ones he keeps in our bedroom.”
“Not much of a green thumb, then?”
“I kill people. It’s what I do. Not many people understand that, and neither does the greenery.”
A silence falls over the garden, and I immediately regret opening my mouth. Biting my tongue and internally cursing myself for having loose lips, I take a moment to thoroughly regret drinking so much alcohol.
“Maybe the mother doesn’t have such a cruel sense of humor,” Azriel murmurs, eyes unwaveringly focused on me. “We both kill. We follow whatever commands are given to us to the letter. And I don’t know about you, but I enjoy it a little, sometimes.”
His words seem to sink into my skin, taking root in my muscle and sending an unnamable feeling through my veins — better than adrenaline. My very soul seems to sing a little at the idea that someone else understands what no one else does, and suddenly I’m chewing my bottom lip, trying to not like this male.
I reach out to touch a large white rose, my fingertips skimming the petals gingerly. “You were right, these flowers are beautiful.”
“So are you.”
My heart flutters in my chest like a damn butterfly, and I mentally thrash against the feeling.
You love Eris. Don’t fall for this male’s words. It’s only trickery.
“What do you think about this whole… situation?” I ask, deflecting his smooth compliment.
The shadows that have been swirling at my feet seem to pause, going thick and tense. The black swirls appear as though they have a personality of their own — or maybe they’re feeding off of Azriel’s emotions.
“It’s not… ideal,” he finally replies, scratching the back of his head. “I never exactly thought I’d have to share a mate with Eris of all people.”
“Eris is a good male. He’s caring, and kind, and… he’s my mate. We are made for eachother.”
The words leave my mouth before I realize the implication of them.
That Azriel is also made for me, as if the Mother sculpted us of the same clay, or the Cauldron crafted our souls at once.
I pull my arm away from his, taking one, two, three steps away. I find myself needing distance.
Eyelids fluttering closed, I take a long inhale of the chill night air, scented with the flowers around us.
I allow myself to imagine what it could be like, just for a millisecond. Two mates.
I’d still be High Lady of the Autumn Court — so long as Eris wants that after all this. I’d be doing that duty, whilst managing having two males to care for.
Azriel and I could get to know each other better. Maybe I’d begin to love him. And he would be the one to assist me on missions when I was in over my head. He’d bring me little gifts after particularly hard days, winnowing all the way to the Autumn court to see me. His shadows could wrap around me, bundling me close. I would feel so undeniably safe with him.
Maybe, I’d even have a home in the Night Court with him, or somewhere in between. I could spend some free time there, just the two of us.
And Eris… he’d still be my Eris. He would let me braid his hair when no one else is allowed to touch it. He would still help me learn how to grow flowers and cultivate a green thumb. He’d give me those little morning and night kisses that I savor so much. I don’t know how having a second mate would affect our sex life… but it’s really only possible for it to be improved, right?
“I have a proposal,” Azriel murmurs, startling me back to the present day.
When my eyes flutter open, I find the male standing in front of me, gazing down at me intently.
“I’m listening.”
“After your… mating ceremony… to Eris,” he says the words with a twinge of distaste. “We could get to know each other. I could show you Velaris—the city of starlight. You could stay there for a few days, maybe a week. You could get to know my friends, my family, even if you’re a little ahead on Rhys and Mor.”
It seems I wasn’t the only one fantasizing about the future.
Chewing my lip, I give him a quick once-over, allowing myself to take in his beauty. He is quite handsome.
“I think… I’d like that,” I whisper, discovering that my voice has gone completely hoarse.
He beams down at me, dark eyes glittering. He offers a tattooed arm once more, and when I take it, I allow myself one little tiny string of hope that everything will work out just fine.
“What do you mean, you don’t have the necklace?”
My favorite handmaiden in the palace, Fauna, shakes her head slowly. “I’m so sorry, my lady. I think it’s still in one of the jewelry safes under the palace.”
I raise my hand to rub it down my face, and then remember the kohl lining my eyes and the Fae glitter across my cheekbones. With a heavy sigh, I stand, giving Fauna a reassuring smile. “It’s alright. I know you don’t have that clearance — I’ll go get it myself.”
Fauna rushes to my side, adjusting my dress so that I will not trip. It’s the prettiest, most Autumn Court dress I own. It has an olive green bodice, flowing into shimmering skirts of buttery yellow, fading to deep orange and red. Little tiny leaves are embroidered into every inch of it, making it shine when I move like morning dew on a tree in Autumn. The sleeves are flowy and dance with my movements, giving me an ethereal grace.
The half-nymph adjusts the tiara in my woven-up hair, and then opens the door for me. I stride out, heels clicking down the hall as I go.
It is crucial that I have that necklace. It was Eris’s great-grandmother’s, and then his grandmother’s, and then his father’s, and now it is his. Well, mine, I suppose. It’s one of his many mating gifts to me. A double silver chain, with a sun-shaped pendant on one and a leaf on the other, all encrusted with diamonds and rubies.
I thought it had been brought up to our chambers days ago, but either I was lied to or someone put it back.
Scowling, I walk a little quicker. I cannot be late to my own mating ceremony. Eris wouldn’t be mad, but I’d be angry at myself for letting it happen.
I knew I should have checked this shit last night.
Correction: I went to go and check this shit last night, and then a very drunken Eris distracted me.
“…I’m honestly shocked that you’ve muscled up and stayed,” a voice drifts through the hall.
I stop, watching as a shadow appears from around the corner. And then another.
Suddenly, I realize that voice is Cassian’s — which means he must be with Azriel.
And at the same moment, I realize that I’m incredibly curious.
I duck into a nearby room, casting a quick shield to mask my scent. Tucking myself against the wall, I use my magic to hide the sounds of my heart and breathing.
“Of course I stayed. She’s my mate. I have to be there for her,” Azriel replies, almost with a grumble in his tone.
Cassian chuckles, and their footsteps stop nearby — maybe even just outside the door. “She’s your mate, and about to be mated to another male.”
“I’m well aware.”
“With how competitive you are, I’m surprised you haven’t challenged Eris to a duel for her love.”
Azriel groans. “I’m not going to be that person. I want her to be happy.”
“Don’t act like you’re enjoying the situation.”
A smacking sound hits my ears, and I assume that Azriel landed a hit on the other Illyrian.
“In what world would I be enjoying this? I think that she’s beautiful, and fucking perfect. Definitely not happy to see her mating Eris of all people, but she loves him. Plus, she’s agreed to come and stay in Velaris for a few days in a couple weeks,” he replies, with the tiniest hint of pride at the end.
“Oh, you dog. You got a wholeee date with the mated girl.”
Another smacking sound, and then another, and I’d place money on the fact that they’re straight up brawling in the hallway. I raise a hand to muffle my laughter.
“Stop it, you’re gonna ruin my suit,” Cassian whines.
“Then stop being a prick, and get better at clean brawling,” Azriel hisses, followed by a crash.
Silence.
“What were you just saying about clean brawling? Look at you, breaking shit in your mate’s palace—“
“Run.”
Footsteps race away instantly, and I remove my hand to let loose my laughter. Those two are easily the most chaotic duo I’ve ever met.
I keel over, laughing until tears spring to my kohl-lined eyes. I wipe them away carefully, straightening up and fixing my dress.
Turning to leave the room, I place a hand on the doorknob.
But the darkness around me is suddenly suffocating, and I get a nagging, nauseating feeling in my gut that something is wrong.
Movement in the corner catches my eye.
I stiffen, reaching for my dagger — which is not there, unfortunately for my life. Fauna had told me to wait until the last minute to slide it into a pocket of my dress.
Cursing under my breath, I pretend to draw a blade anyway. It’s significantly better than being obviously unarmed.
But I’m very much not alone, and very much unarmed.
And whatever or whoever this thing is, what it does next sends an inexplicable shudder through my body.
It breathes on me.
Tags: @cleverzonkwombatsludge (comment and ask to be added to tag list! <3)
A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Click for earlier Chapters
Training continued, leading up to Cassian and Nesta’s mating ceremony. They were not sickeningly in love in the training ring and just referred to each other as Cassian and Nes (sometimes with a simmering look, but it was not overt).
Gwyn was not uncomfortable around them, she was merely confounded. How could two intelligent, confident and centred people be so reliant on each other? She thought of her sister then. Had not that been a reliance on her part? Didn’t she still wake from dreams of her sister returning and having her fractured world heal just that little bit more? Sisters weren’t the same as lovers she supposed. At least she now had Emerie and Nesta. They were the support and the challengers that she needed to step out of that library every day.
She had memories of other feelings, emotions and physical stirrings before her acceptance into the preistesshood. For males – well one or two who had a kind word or a nice smile, or just a really balanced physique! No one had elicited those feelings from her since before that day. The one that ended everything normal for her.
All she really remembered was an image of her sister, bloody and staring blank eyed, and the need to get the children away. After that was just pain and humiliation and the word NO, no, no. she still awoke screaming that some nights.
Cassian had been the first male, probably ever as she never knew her father, who she felt comfortable with. Her smile sparked at the thought of how Cassian could make Nesta happy. She was on some level envious of the banter, the looks, the calm feelings that flowed between them. The sexual tension was not something that she dwelled upon. It scared her a little. It was awakening however to see Nesta encourage and build that tension. It was obviously worth it for her.
She fingered the rose on the end of her chain absentmindedly. The trainees were resting between bouts of combat featuring a more experienced warrior (Cassian, Azriel or one of the Ribbon cutters) against the newer recruits just starting on practise blades. It was better this way. The warrior was responsible for holding their own blows and blocking, letting the novice practise moves more safely.
Azriel had squared off against Margot – another new trainee from the library. She was short, so short compared to Az, and she needed to work hard to keep her blade up. Azriel was letting her strike here and there, blocking with his own wooden sword and stepping out again when Margot was getting her feet tangled. Cassian directed them both from the side and kept Margot moving and thinking. Azriel saw Gwyn with her rose between her fingers and smiled a little at her, stepping back as though he could see and feel the moves Margot made before she even thought them. Gwyn mouthed “Be careful” and nodded her head to the side as Margot attacked again with a powerful thrust and some very good foot work.
Az was taken slightly by surprise at the speed of this last parry and hurriedly moved his own body and sword where they should be. Seeing the spymaster slightly discomforted thrilled Gwyn down to her bones. She had only even seen him so composed, so in control. It was part of why he intimidated her so much. He was so perfect.
At the end of that session when the group went in to cool down moves, Gwyn stood to the side at the front nearest to Azriel. Nesta nodded to her and she began a haunting melody that led them all through breathing more slowly, stilling their minds and relaxing all of those strained and taut muscles. She looked up and across surreptitiously noting Azriel’s slightly raised and unfurled wings. He looked to be basking in the sun, in the sound, and his eyes were closed. The feeling was as close as she could get to pure admiration. His tan skin was smooth despite his scared hands which seemed notably at rest. His muscled arms held behind his back and his straight posture showed off the length of his body and trim waist. She was actually quite pleased that she could not see him from the back. It may have been too much to bear.
Suddenly Gwyn realised where her thoughts were taking her and shut them down. She was thinking these things about the Assassin, the most cunning of The Night Courts Warriors. She, who had been defiled and hurt as a young girl, was beginning to lust over a five hundred year old legendary figure. Oh she was in trouble.
When the song came to a whispering close, she dropped her gaze from the troops and nodded to Cassian for authority to be excused and left. Her knee caps were jumping up and down on their own and her stomach was in knots. If she’d eaten lately she would have been sick, instead a hollow grumbling reminded her that it would be lunch time if she could keep anything down. The library reasserted itself as her sanctuary as she rushed down the stairs to get changed and go to work.
*
Az, Cassian and Nesta sat together at the dining table whilst the House served them braised chicken and sweet corn with mountains of leafy vegetables. It knew their protein and vitamin and mineral requirements intimately and after a big session like today, it seemed to enjoy fulfilling their needs. Nesta spoke first (while holding one of Cassian’s hands under the table)
“Well that was interesting” she mused. “What had Gwyn so riled that she left without saying goodbye as if the cauldron where after her”
Cassian gave Azriel a knowing wink and shrugged, Azriel had the good grace to look discomforted. Neither of his friends knew about the necklace or where it had been before it was around Gwyn’s throat. Now he wished that he had told them months ago. He had been dealing with his emotions as he thought of them. Now it was not a difficult task to get through the day training with Gwyn or lunching with Elain or having meetings with Mor, it was a little lacking in excitement actually.
He wondered whether he dare mention the topic of Gwyn with them both. At least Nesta did not have that power of death anymore, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted her opinion of his pining for a traumatised priestess. Cassian knew. He knew that Cassian saw his extra looks, his tension around Gwyn. He’d known him for five hundred years. Hiding that would have taken a lot more manipulative skills than he possessed – and he did have a heap of them. Thankfully Cassian was protective of the priestesses and loyal to Azriel so he wouldn’t step in lightly. And he would definitely approach Azriel alone first.
Azriel answered Nesta, throwing her off any innuendo between the two, “library work no doubt. We did run a little overtime today”
Nesta settled into her chair with a hrrmph. “She could have said bye to me and if she’s coming to the ceremony tomorrow – Since the blood rite, she’s been more withdrawn again. Except with Emerie and I. I hope she can deal with the extra people at the River House. I really want her to be there.”
Cassian squeezed Nesta’s hand and smoothed her brow. “We all heal at our own rate Nes. I’m sure she’ll do all she can to get there”
Azriel had a thought. The perfect solution to making Nesta happy on their mating ceremony day and widening the world for Gwyn. “Maybe you could ask her to sing?”
Cassian stared at him and smiled (he too saw the reasoning behind this suggestion). Nesta frowned a little then warmed to the idea. “I could, and that might be easier for her because she would have a task. She wouldn’t have to socialise unless she wanted to and maybe we could offer for Az to bring her back here when she’s ready to go?”
Azriel had to try to fight his smile, but his eyes twinkled anyway. “I’m happy to do that for you – and for Gwyn if that’s what she would like to do”
Cassian just grinned and thumped lightly on the table “Great”
*
A Court of Shadow and Ribbons Missed any Chapters? Go to the pinned post
Notes:
– With credit to song words (only slightly messed with) Meli
