//it was intended as a rewrite but is just a part three i guess, idk there was a lot of discussions so peer pressure. plus the original request wanted a happy ending so i did that!!// pt1 // pt2
Pairing: Matt x Wife!Reader
Word Count: 2,083
Summary: The problem never ended, just hid. The most painful solution is acknowledged but Matt refuses to stand idly by.
The rest of the day was a blur. Matt only stayed for one hour and left. Your other classes complained that they didn’t get a special guest speaker, and while you wanted to explain it to them so they weren’t upset, something wasn’t sitting right in your stomach.
You were still upset with Matt. The idea of Elektra being in your shared apartment made you feel like the other woman, even though you were the wife. You wanted to burn down the building, throw Matt’s things into the dumpster, knock Elektra’s perfect teeth in, punch Stick in the nose. You were still so angry.
The reconciliation was supposed to be enough. That’s what your mother had always told you about marriage. Nothing was too big for you two to get over if you loved each other. Sometimes someone had to swallow their pride and forgive a fight before you lost the other. But why were you letting him off the hook without knowing that he’d do anything you asked? And what was to keep Elektra from making moves on him?
Once your kids were finally out and dismissal was done, you dropped back into your work chair. The photo was still face down, and maybe that was the indiciation you really needed that nothing was really settled.
You picked up your phone.
“Foggy Nelson.” Foggy answered.
“Hey, Fog… Did Matt make it back?” You asked, filing assignments into folders and sliding them into your bag to grade later.
“No, he said there was something he needed to take care of before you got home. Why?”
“Can I come by the office then? I need to talk to you.”
“Sure? Is everything okay, Y/N?”
“No, I don’t think so.” You sighed. “I thought it would be a ‘sweep under the rug’ instance but it’s just… not.”
“Okay, yeah, come on by. You want me to have some food delivered?”
“You’d be a lifesaver if you did.”
“Pizza will be ready when you get here.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you in a bit.”
You ended the call and finished packing up your classroom. By the time you were done, nothing made any more sense than it did before. You were frustrated walking to your car because talking about things was supposed to help.
But you and Matt hadn’t really talked about it, had you?
You told him how to resolve the physical part of the issue. Get Elektra out of your apartment and finish whatever mission he was on as Daredevil. The latter you only added because you knew he wouldn’t leave well enough alone, stubborn bastard. But it didn’t get to the heart of the issue.
Just answer the question!
Elektra!
The understanding settled in your stomach like a rock. Despite your marriage, despite everything she had done to Matt, he said her name. He knew you were in the next room. He knew you had been restless, unable to sleep without him beside you. He knew there were nights you had stayed awake until you heard him come in just to know he didn’t die out there. He knew you would’ve dropped everything if he had called you from an alley and needed your help to get home. But maybe, all of that, he’d still do for her.
You walked into the building, smiled politely to Karen, and walked into Foggy’s office. He smiled widely and brandished the still steaming pizza. You closed the door behind you.
“I think I need a divorce.” You spoke, your voice barely above a whisper.
“What happened to ‘hello’? ‘How are you’?” He replied, setting the pizza down. You almost laughed. “What’s going on?”
You sat at the table and he sat across from you. You spoke quickly, giving every detail you thought relevant. He listened quietly, probably comparing it to what Matt had told him about the situation. When you finished, he sighed heavily.
“I thought it’d be enough to just hear him say he didn’t mean it.” You sniffled. At some point during your story, you began crying. “But I can’t stop thinking. Is she friends with his friends? Does he think about her? Is she less controlling? Easy-going? Well-traveled? Well read? God, she makes me so upset!”
“Okay, let’s slow down a little.” Foggy offered.
“She’s beautiful.” You laughed bitterly. “And he loved her. She’s been on the other side of his bed.”
“They haven’t even talked before whatever came up.”
“I know it’s crazy, but I can’t stop thinking that he’s been thinking of her when he’s talking about me.”
He was quiet for a minute, taking it all in. You took the time to eat some of your pizza. So many thoughts were running through your mind.
Did you want the divorce? Did you need the divorce? Would Matt agree or would he drag it out in court? Would you be about to convince Foggy to help with your side or would he remain loyal to his friend? Whose side would Karen take? How long with Elektra wait before stepping in?
The questions were so loud you didn’t even realize Matt had shown up. Your eyes went wide when he sat beside you, then you immediately turned your glare towards Foggy. Your friend put his hands up in surrender and offered a nervous smile. When your stare didn’t lighten, he ducked out of the room.
“Y/N…” Matt began and your heated gaze turned on your husband. “I thought-“
“You know, it’s a real coincidence.” You cut in sharply. “Without her even being here - Well without me knowing she was here - she was back in your life. It was like she just knew. Now her name comes up once, comes up twice, comes up every goddamn minute since I saw her.”
“You know I don’t feel that way about her.” He insisted.
“But she’s in the same damn city every damn night. And wow, what a coincidence that you’ve lost all your common sense now, huh?”
“Seriously?” Matt scoffed and you crossed your arms. “I’m the one that’s lost it?”
“Last week, we were perfectly fine. We were normal. Now, it’s like you’ve been holding space for her in your life, and now she’s right there to fill it.”
“There’s no space! It’s only you!”
“Is it?” You laughed in disbelief. “It’s not someone trying to turn the past into the present tense?”
“No!”
“If she wasn’t here, would you be going after the Yakuza?”
His mouth opened then shut. He clearly thought better of whatever his initial answer was going to be, so he took a moment to decide on a better answer. “Not immediately, I don’t think so.”
“I’m surprised she’s not trying to suck up to ask your friends.”
“Y/N, sweetheart-“
“Don’t sweetheart me, Matthew.” You said sharply, maybe sharper than intended. “You lied to me.”
“I didn’t.” He defended.
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry. You told me the truth, minus seven percent. Which just so happened to be the important seven percent.”
“This isn’t about Elektra.” He shook his head.
“It’s about you, you fucking idiot! She’s the girl you outgrew. That’s what you told me! Isn’t that what you told me?”
He nodded quietly.
“Then what the fuck was that when Stick got you to say her name?” You screamed.
There it was. Your admittance to what truly started it all. When he had said it, your heart sank. It fell into a hole so deep in your chest, you still didn’t feel it beat in your chest. You went through your day as normal as you could, but everything in your body felt numb. You felt hollow and you thought you could blame it on Elektra’s general presence.
But you were wrong. When it came down to it, when it was just you and Matt locked in a room, the truth came out. It wasn’t completely Elektra’s fault.
It was Matt’s.
“What was that, Matt?” You asked quietly, hot anger shifting to betrayal.
“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I want to say that I was just caught up in the moment.”
“You were defending our marriage two seconds before.” You scoffed. “You don’t have to lie to the woman that loves you. I can do that myself.”
“I never meant for this to happen.”
“That doesn’t change that it did. That doesn’t change that you hurt me, Matthew. Why can’t you admit to that?”
He reached for you, to feel your body whether it be your leg or your arm. Without thinking, you scooted your chair back. He froze immediately and his brows furrowed behind his glasses. You tensed in your seat when you realized.
You had never shied away from Matt’s touch before. You never avoided him.
“So you meant it…” Matt said quietly. You didn’t need his super senses to hear the heartbreak. “You want a divorce.”
“You said you’d pick Elektra.” You confessed quietly. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“I’ve already picked, Y/N.” He leaned forward in his chair. It was as close as he dared to get to you. “I know what I said. I know that you heard it and I know that it broke your heart. If I could take it back and just think about that goddamn question, I would.”
“So why didn’t you?”
He couldn’t answer.
“Hell’s Kitchen is nice, but who do you really want by your side?” You pressed. “And when you and Elektra inevitably break up again, would it be a coincidence then too? Would it be worth it?”
“I can’t lose you.” He nearly whispered.
“I’m going to stay at a hotel for a little while.” You decided. “I won’t draw up divorce papers just yet, but I am considering it… Call me when you can actually have this conversation with me.”
“Y/N..”
“No, Matt, just don’t. I love you so much, but I… I can’t just pretend this will go away. I thought when we talked earlier it was enough, and I was able to forget for a little while. But once the kids were gone… Fuck, it hurts. I’m so confused.”
“I’m not.” He looked at you hopefully. “I love you, Y/N. I want you. I would marry you again and again. I choose you, always.”
“Not always… What might be the only time it truly mattered, you chose Elektra. I get the whole notion of having soft spots for first loves, and I know Elektra was different for you. I accepted that when I fell for you. But look at what she’s done, what she’s put you in the middle of.”
“I chose to get involved.”
“Yeah… And it might’ve cost our marriage.” You stood. “Was it worth it?”
“No.”
“Good. Sit with that regret for a little while. When you can stand in front of Stick, with Elektra in full health, and honestly tell him you pick me, you can come find me.”
“I’ll do it right now.” He stood quickly and took a step to block your path to the door. “I care about Elektra, but not the way I need you. Please…”
“What am I supposed to do, Matt, just let it go?”
“No… Please, just give me a chance.”
“I am, but I need to think and so do you.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“And I need you to need me, just me.”
“I do.”
You smiled slightly to yourself, thinking for a brief moment of your wedding. You knew it’d be a lot of rebuilding to get your marriage back to what it was, and it wouldn’t really start until Elektra was gone. You didn’t know her true motives with Matt but you could take a guess. Regardless, he was trying to convince you and you so badly wanted to believe him.
So you took the chance.
“I’ll be at the Presidential for the rest of the week. Figure it out, Matt, or I’ll do it for you.”
You didn’t return to your shared apartment until that Sunday. When you did, Matt was waiting for you. No sign of Elektra’s presence was a relief. No sign of Stick either.
Rather, your favorite flowers were on the coffee table, the newest book from your favorite author and a stuffed animal were beside them.
You stared at them in appreciation.
You didn’t believe everything was back to normal, but Matt was showing you that he was going to try and fix it. He was fighting for your marriage, so you would too.
maddie. 21. works at panera bread. iced matcha & cold coffee. fresh and healthy lifestyle. sage green & light blue or just light colors in general. skincare. flowers. artist & writer in her free time. candles. spring & warm weather. loves animals and has a cat. yoga & pilates or just taking care of herself in general.
best paired with…
regularcustomer!matt
matt. 21. maddie’s favorite customer. always gets the same thing & sits at the same booth. burgundy & navy blue or just dark colors in general. fall & cold weather. loves animals. artist & writer in his free time. root beer. goes to the gym sometimes and used to play hockey.
a/n: ayeee been thinking about doing this for a whilee!! this will definitely become a series and an au, but unfortunately i don’t think i will post regarding this until i finish my writing marathon!
back to the general masterlist / writing marathon masterlist
★ MOVIES & SHOWS — WEAK HERO CLASS (WHC), UNCANNY COUNTER, THE SOUND OF MAGIC, STRANGER THINGS, LOVE UNTANGLED, KPOP DEMON HUNTERS, CORALINE
★ CELEBRITIES — STURNIOLOS, BENOFTHEWEEK, SOMBR, LAUFEY, DOMINIC FIKE, FINN WOLFHARD, PARK JI HOON, MAC DEMARCO, ALL THE CAST OF STRANGER THINGS, ALL THE CAST OF MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES, ALL OF MY FAVORITE MUSIC ARTISTS
★ MUSIC ARTISTS — DOMINIC FIKE, MAC DEMARCO, LAUFEY, SOMBR, ARCTIC MONKEYS, WALLOWS
★ FOOD - MY MOMS COOKING, CHICKEN ALFREDO, CHINESE FOOD, MEXICAN FOOD
★ IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED ON THE TAGLIST, COMMENT, SEND ME SOMETHING IN MY INBOX, MESSAGE ME PRIVATELY, OR JUST FOLLOW ME
⋆˚꩜｡ CREDITS ⋆˚꩜｡
DIVIDERS - @pepsipoet @strangergraphics @cursed-carmine (thank you @cursed-carmine for the dividers. I had no room for them, so sorry I didn't include them here)
IMAGES - PINTREST AND MOODBOARDS MADE BY @pepsipoet and @chrisssiren
HEY GUYS !! ITS BEEN A HOT MINUTE SINCE I HAD ONE OF THESE, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE ONE !! I HAVE LIKE NO FREE TIME EVER SO LIKE IT TOOK ME A WHILE. SORRY IT WAS SO LONG GEEZ. MOST OF THIS WILL BE EDITED IF I REMEMBER TO PUT SOMETHING BACK. I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS IN SOME WAY. REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE ENOUGH, AND YOU ARE SO TUFF !!
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He never meant to become obsessed—it just happened. One moment, you were a curiosity, a fleeting distraction in his monotonous life, and then suddenly, you were everything.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He doesn’t stalk you in an obvious, sloppy way. No, Matt is methodical, patient, and eerily quiet. You don’t notice him at first, but you feel him. That uncanny sensation of being watched? The way the hairs on your neck stand up when you’re alone? Yeah. That’s him.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He knows your routine better than you do. What time you wake up, where you get coffee, which aisle you always wander to first at the grocery store. He memorizes it like a script.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He starts leaving little breadcrumbs—things only you would notice. A song that plays in every store you enter. A book you mentioned in passing, now mysteriously waiting on your doorstep. A shadow that lingers too long outside your window before slipping into the darkness.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ The first time you really see him is when he lets you. Maybe you catch him watching you from across the street, or maybe he’s standing just a little too close at the bar, fingertips grazing your arm in a way that makes your heart pound for reasons you don’t understand.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He doesn’t get jealous in a way that’s explosive—he gets dangerous. The kind of possessive that makes people disappear from your life without explanation. Suddenly, that coworker who flirted with you is avoiding eye contact. The guy who asked for your number at the café? You never see him again.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ When you finally confront him, he’s calm. Too calm. Because this isn’t a game to him. You were always meant to be his.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ The kind of guy who leans in close when he speaks, forcing you to meet his gaze, letting the weight of his presence settle over you like a storm about to break.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He’s obsessive but never reckless. His control is terrifying, like a predator toying with its prey. He wants you desperate for him before he even touches you.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ When he does touch you? It’s not sweet. It’s claiming. Fingers gripping your wrist just tight enough to remind you there’s no escaping him. A hand at the back of your neck, guiding you where he wants. A smirk when you shiver under his gaze.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He doesn’t believe in love in the way normal people do. To him, love is possession. It’s knowing that you belong to him, even when you try to resist.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He’s not above playing with your mind—whispering dark truths in your ear, making you question whether you want to run or if you want to fall into him completely.
𓆩♡𓆪 DR!Matt ~ He always gives you a choice, but the way he looks at you makes it clear—there is no real choice.
Matt stood outside on the balcony of his apartment. Hands rested on top of his head as he watched the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles before him. Sick to his stomach, he processed an emotion he thought he would never feel. Love.
He noticed it today. The way his brown eyes stared into hers. Matt never noticed the sparkle in them before. He wondered if they were always there. He remembered the electricity he felt when he touched her hand. That feeling had never been there before.
Times when he knew they wouldn't see each other for a while, he would make excuses for her to stay longer. Her presence could still be felt and seen by him. A warm presence that made him feel like she was still there.
There weren't many things he couldn't explain in life, and this was one of them. This was just a way for her to get back at her dad. Love was never supposed to be on the table. Two adults who were just looking for a fun time.
Matt walked back inside. His best friend, Brandon, looked up at him from the dining room table. The bald man made a poor attempt to hide his smile. He could see this happening from a mile away. Two similar beings with the same upbringing falling in love. Hell, who couldn't see it.
"I, uh, cleared your schedule for this evening like you asked," Brandon informed him. He slid the phone across the table as proof. Matt refused to look at the phone.
He didn't want to accept how crazy he must look right now. Tonight was supposed to be a busy night for him. Businesses that were on his dime were supposed to get a visit from him. Instead, he needed to see her.
"Can you pick her up, please?" Matt asked without looking at his friend. He could feel the way Brandon was enjoying this. His friend of many years finally falling in love. "Drop her off. The rest of the night is yours. I'll call you when I need yoj,"
Y/N laid in her bed. Her fingers toyed with a necklace he bought her. She never let it out of her sight. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was. Now, she didn't want it to stop.
She was a different person than the rebellious girl who ended up at one of his businesses months ago. A different look on life that always revolved him. Her thoughts and actions were done to make him happy. No other man did this to her.
Matt messaged her earlier that Brandon was on the way to pick her up. Her heart skipped a beat. She needed him. Craved the man that currently held her heart in the palm of his hands.
She rolled out of bed to collect her things. Brandon knew to meet her away from her apartment. Daddy wouldn't be too pleased to know she was with a man that he didn't choose for her. If he ever found out the man was his greatest rival, heads would certainly roll.
Decked out in a dress covered by a trench coat, Y/N snuck out to meet Brandon at their secret location.
The moment their eyes locked in Matt's apartment, something changed. Blame it on the weather or the wine she sipped in the limo to calm her nerves. Either way, they were drawn to each other like a moth to a flame.
They tried to play it off at first. Business talk while they talked in his kitchen. She liked to tell him what her father was planning. Neither wanted to pull the trigger. They had done this so many times, but something told her if he kissed her now it would be game over.
Y/N couldn't help but stare at his lips as he spoke. The same lips that kissed different parts of her body. The words sounded distant. How could he be talking farther away from her while standing right in front of her. Her heart started to pound. Her cheeks flushed. In a daze, she noticed they were coming closer.
The butterflies in her stomach fluttered. Her hand gripped the back of his head to keep him close. He wouldn't be given the opportunity to move. Not that he would want to.
This kiss was different. Before their kiss was laced in lust. Now, they could feel the love pouring out from one another. To be loved by one of the most feared men in Los Angeles. She couldn't believe it.
"Matt," she moaned against his lips. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her to his bedroom. Their lips only parted for air.
That night was different than previous nights that were used for simple gratification. The entire time, their arms were wrapped around the other. Matt's thrusts were slow and gentle. A couple of times, they swore the other whispered that they loved them.
By the end of the night, she was in his arms. He rubbed her back. His face buried in her hair. Sweet kisses planted on the top. Matt didn't know this was what it was like to have her stick around. Her soft snore a welcome change to the agonizing silence.
He kissed the top of her head one last time. "I love you,"
Less than Lovers, More than Friends {Matt Holt x Reader}
Words: 8k
Summary: Matt's girlfriend is toxic, and he doesn't realise it.
Genre: angst
Warning: domestic abuse – manipulation
Notes: masterlist – i’m back folks yeehaw
---
Your shoulders jerked as another crash sounded from the room opposite you, followed abruptly by Matt and Caitlin's yelling.
It was nothing new. You heard them fighting all the time, heard Caitlin losing her temper to the point where she picked up the closest object to her and volleyed it across the room at Matt. But just because you heard it often, didn't mean you enjoyed it, didn't make it any easier to sleep through.
You clenched your eyes shut tight and rolled over, dragging the pillow over your head in any attempt to block out the god awful arguing; it would go on for hours. Caitlin would never let the subject drop, not until Matt was all but claiming she had been right the entire time. Sometimes Matt let the argument go on and on, refusing to belittle his own intelligence for someone as stubborn as Caitlin – but eventually she would lose her temper, and things got broken and Matt got hurt.
Sometimes you wondered why he was still with her.
In fact, you always wondered why he was still with her, when he could have any person in the world. He was smart, kind, good looking – he was a gift. Someone you knew you weren't worthy to call your own, but someone you wished you could.
And yet there he was, in the hallway across from you with his wild girlfriend throwing foreign objects at him. He could be doing something with his life, have a love that he deserved, but he stayed with her.
The door to your room slowly creaked open, and you knew immediately who it was. Glancing over your shoulder, your suspicions were confirmed when Allura slipped into the darkness and stood hesitantly in your doorway, awkwardly ringing her hands in front of her.
You rolled over fully, having to speak up to be heard over the psychotic screams of Caitlin across the hall. “Why are you up so late?”
“Why do you think?” Allura replied. Now that she had confirmation you were indeed awake, she strolled confidently across your room and flopped down onto the bed next to you, tugging the covers up to her chin. “They've been arguing for hours. I think she hurt Matt again.”
“Should we do something?”
“Yes.” Allura paused. “But you know what Matt's gonna do if we try to intervene again.”
You pursed your lips, remembering the last time any of you had tried to step in front of Caitlin and put a stop to the chaotic fighting. She had gotten out of control again, and Shiro had had enough. He marched into the room, got ready to yell, but then Caitlin was whirling on him and throwing an ash tray in his direction. Matt had been forced to grab her, causing himself even more harm.
He hadn't spoken to Shiro for days after that.
You sighed and buried your head in the pillows once again. “What do you think they're arguing about this time?”
“I wouldn't call it arguing as much as it's Caitlin screaming her head off,” replied Allura. “But I think it's about Matt's mission tomorrow.”
You perked up. “The one him and I are going on?”
“Mm.” Allura picked at her nails, her arms stretched high above her face. “Miss Caitlin doesn't like it when you and Matt have alone time together.”
You paused, head snapping round to evaluate the expression on Allura's face, because surely she was kidding. Despite there being absolutely no hint of humour in her voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe that she would even suggest such a bizarre thing.
You prided yourself on how well you hid your feelings for Matt Holt. There was no way someone like Caitlin was able to see through the wall you had built for the past five years of knowing the man.
“What are you talking about?” you asked when Allura showed no sign of elaborating on her bizarre claims.
She looked over at you and shrugged, as if her words were no big deal. “I don't exactly blame her. You've known Matt longer than she has, and she doesn't like that you two have that bond. Plus, Matt is always ten times happier when he's around you – anyone on the ship is able to see that.”
Your mouth grew dry, head running at a million miles per hour. Was Caitlin currently hurling insults, hurling objects at Matt because of what she thought of you?
You clenched your fists tight in the covers. Allura jerked, the covers bunching up around her chin with the grip you currently had in them.
“Y/N?” Allura inquired, slowly leaning over to get a better look at your expression in the darkness. You quickly unclenched your jaw, relaxed your fists, started nonchalantly smoothing a crease out in the blankets.
“He promised us he can deal with her,” you said. “I'll check up on him once she's calmed down.”
Allura nodded, though she kept a suspicious eye on you even as she relaxed back into the pillows. Neither of you spoke after that – it was too difficult trying to have a civil, simple conversation when you could hear Caitlin's animalistic shrieking thumping through the walls in the next room. It played as background music to the sound of your own worried thoughts, images of Matt trying desperately to calm Caitlin down.
Allura's breathing slowly eased until it was nothing more than a gentle trickle, indicating she had finally fallen asleep. You wanted to follow her lead, needed to follow her lead considering you had an important mission to go on the next morning – but you couldn't. You couldn't even close your eyes without thinking of Matt, without thinking of the guilt that was currently erupting in your system because you weren't doing anything.
You pressed the balls of your palm into your eye, tried to fight off the urge to scream before rolling over and burying your head in the pillows, the only thing you could think to do to waste time before morning came.
+++
How he always managed to pretend that nothing had happened was completely beyond you.
How she could pretend that nothing had happened was completely beyond you.
Caitlin and Matt walked into the kitchen side-by-side, as per usual, the next morning. You had been sat downstairs since before the sun had even risen, your lack of sleep dragging you from the warmth of the comforters so you could start breakfast for everyone else. Shiro and Keith – forever the early birds – had already indulged in a plate of scrambled eggs each, both very confused as to why you were up so early, but neither asking for answers.
Now it was Matt and Caitlin's turn, and to say you were dreading their appearance was an understatement.
As usual, Matt gave you that award winning grin before he settled himself down at the counter. Caitlin gently stroked her fingertips over his shoulder blades as she walked past him towards the fridge, a way of silently telling you that he was hers. She didn't even look in your direction, but the message was clear from the smug smile on her face as she let her fingers scrape along his flesh, forcing him to look up and give her a small, acknowledged nod.
You clenched your fists, biting your lower lip before you looked over at Matt and smiled. “Sleep well?”
“Do we have any milk left from our last grocery run?”
Your teeth clamped impossibly harder upon your bottom lip, Caitlin's shrill voice making your toes curl.
Nonetheless, you turned and glanced at her. “We should do. Unless Hunk was doing his usual late night-”
“Oh, here's some!” she yipped, popping up from the fridge with a full carton of milk in her hand – she had only interrupted your greeting with Matt to stop any type of conversation from forming.
You turned back and shook your head slowly. Matt caught the movement – he often did – and pursed his lips, before reaching over and grabbing the bowl of scrambled eggs that you had left out on the counter. “These fresh?”
“Freshly made this morning,” you replied. “You should probably dive in, though. Even Keith had some.”
“Keith?” Matt widened his eyes in exaggerated shock. “Wow. Whoever made these must have some skills in the kitchen.”
You shrugged. “I can't take all the credit. I didn't even know how to crack an egg before Hunk-”
“Matt, scooch over.”
Once again, Caitlin made her appearance. Matt barely had time to register what she had asked of him before she was crashing her shoulder against his and slipping onto the stool next to him. She slapped her bowl of cereal down onto the counter, took one glance at the eggs and scowled.
“They look like they've been sat out for hours.”
You raised a brow. “I only made them this morning.”
“Mm,” she hummed dismissively before turning to Matt. “I think you should just have cereal. Don't wanna risk getting sick before a mission, do you?”
Matt pursed his lips. Your heart thundered, anger pouring into your veins at a million miles per hour. You were going to lose it. You were really going to lose it, because her attitude this morning and the memories of the vile things she had been screaming the previous night were flashing through your mind, driving you forward, making you-
“No. I feel like having scrambled eggs this morning.”
Your eyes snapped up, widening just a fraction. “Matt, you don't have to-”
But he was already reaching for the bowl, even as his girlfriends eyes shot daggers into the side of his head, even as Caitlin all but trembled with fury at being disobeyed by the one person she believed she had wrapped around her finger.
You kept your eyes on her, prepared for anything. It was a protective streak, a dull thump in the back of your head. Your fingers uncurled from the fist you had them bunched up in, ready to reach over the table and grab her ponytail if she even so much as tried to lay a hostile finger on Matt.
But even though she was an evil bitch, she had common sense. She flicked her eyes over to you, took a deep breath and quickly dove back into her cereal, now turning her head away from Matt as a sign of defiance.
Matt scooped some scrambled eggs onto his plate and started eating, eyes shining with the first bite. “Ooh. Hunk taught you well!”
You kept an eye on Caitlin, even as you accepted the compliment, even as you and Matt were finally able to get into a proper, intelligent conversation that didn't involve her stupid, petty questions cutting in every few seconds.
It was nice, despite the air of tension that was surrounding you all. Allura's words from the previous night echoed in your head; Caitlin wasn't bristling because of Matt. She was bristling because of you, because of your presence, because Matt truly could speak to you with little to no hesitation.
A part of you thought it might be better if you just got up and left. Caitlin would calm down, and Matt would be able to have a peaceful breakfast – but you were only guessing with that one. You could get up and leave and open the flood gates for him by leaving him alone with her. She could turn on him, her temper flaring, and then what would happen? God only knew, but judging by the argument they had been having last night, the aftermath could be nothing good.
And so you stayed, talking to Matt both because you wanted to hear his voice, and because you wanted to keep him safe.
+++
You buckled your seat belt and shot Allura one final farewell glance before the ship was taking off and you and Matt were alone.
You couldn't remember the last time you had been alone with him. The two of you were friends – best friends – but there was a barrier that had been placed between you in the past six months that he had been with Caitlin.
Neither of you spoke about it, though the tension within the silence was clue enough that he could feel it just as heavily as you could. He was sat in the drivers seat, hands gripping the wheel, glancing up at you through the rear view mirror every few seconds. You could only spare him an awkward smile before you turned back to the GPS you had been put in charge of.
Things were just different. Not in a bad way. Just being able to see him every day and still call him your friend was good enough for you, but things were different in the sense that Matt was no longer the young fifteen year old boy you had met all them years ago. He was someone different now – smarter in the sense of his intelligence and his experience, but stupid in the sense that he had let himself get trapped in such an awful situation, and was currently refusing any of the help he was being offered.
The ship juddered. Matt changed gear quickly, glanced at you to make sure you were okay, and it was then that you decided to speak up.
“You didn't have to do that at breakfast, you know.”
Matt looked away. “I didn't do anything at breakfast.”
“You did. You can't deny it.”
“I ate breakfast.”
“You went against Caitlin's orders.”
Matt's knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. Part of your brain was screaming at you to back off, to let the subject drop before he got angry at you and this entire mission became one big, awkward mess.
But you didn't back off.
“You say that like she owns me,” Matt grunted finally. “I'm a twenty year old man. I can do what I want without her permission.”
“That's not what the rest of us have been seeing these past few months.”
“Good thing the rest of you aren't in my relationship and don't know jack shit about what goes on behind closed doors.”
You scoffed. “I think those of us that hear her throwing stuff at you every night are pretty familiar with what goes on behind closed doors.”
He snapped, slapping his palm against the steering wheel. The ship stirred, but Matt quickly got it back under control, ignoring your startled cry. “Why are you even talking to me about her? You two don't even speak to each other!”
“And by the looks of things, you two don't speak to each other either!” you exclaimed. “She just yells at you and tells you what to do, and you sit back and pretend like it's okay!”
“I can do what I want. Just because I try to listen to my girlfriend sometimes-”
“Oh, Matt, give me a break,” you scoffed, slumping down in your seat, running your hands through your hair. “You're smarter than this. You're so much smarter than this – you know full well you aren't just listening to your girlfriend.”
Matt bristled. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”
You clenched your jaw. Why was he being like this? Why was he being so clueless? There was no part of you that believed he truly did not understand, that he truly just thought he was being a caring boyfriend by doing everything his girlfriend told him to do. He was smarter than that.
He just didn't want to admit it.
You turned back to the GPS, pressing your elbows into the table and leaning your head in your palms. He wasn't going to listen to you – that much was obvious.
+++
The thing about Matt was that his job was his life.
He did everything for the sake of the world. He stayed up until early hours of the morning trying to figure out a single line of coding that would jump start whatever piece of machinery he was having trouble with. He would risk his own life for the sake of the people he loved, and he let nothing get in the way of getting his job done.
The argument the two of you had gotten into was forgotten almost as soon as his boots touched the ground. He had been silent for the remaining hour of the journey, but as soon as the two of you had landed and the mission had officially started, it was almost as if nothing had happened.
“Stay close to me,” he demanded, grabbing your arm and pulling you into his side. “First step – find the entrance to the factory, find the systems room and get the information.”
“Easier said than done,” you muttered, but you followed his every step nonetheless. You were the back-up in this situation; cover for Matt if things got a little too difficult. Whilst he was a whizz with computers and programming, you had been trained in the art of combat for as long as you could remember. You would be parading around the door, making sure nobody was going to attack Matt as he gathered the information you two had been sent out to retrieve.
The factory in question was not difficult to find by any stretch of the imagination. Guards littered the doorways, the building towering over everything else. You could see the tip of the roof as you and Matt approached through the trees, could smell the smoke billowing from the many chimneys lining the tiled roof.
You could also smell the blood.
You shot Matt a startled glance; you knew what this place did, the amount of bodies that had been discovered and hidden by the Galra. You knew it was terrible, but the proof of it in the air was startling. Matt clenched his jaw, looked back at you, but neither of you said anything. You both knew what to expect – there was no point in making a big deal over it.
You stepped out of the tree line and started towards the entrance. The suits you were both wearing would be enough to disguise you, help you blend in, but as soon as you started messing with the systems, suspicions would be aroused and the two of you would have to pick up the pace.
“Agent Spears and Agent Givaldi,” Matt said as soon as you were both in front of the guards. They barely even glanced at the badges you were both holding up before the door was being shouldered open and you were granted much-needed access.
You hesitantly stuffed your badge back into your coat pocket, leaned towards Matt and whispered, “That was too easy. Something's not right.”
“Keep an eye out,” he whispered back.
The hallways grew less and less crowded the deeper into the factory you and Matt went. You kept your head low as Matt nodded and interacted with the passing mechanics, scientists, evil geniuses that you came across; he was good at this kind of thing, pretending everything was okay when it wasn't, putting on a fake smile for the sake of others.
You, on the other hand, could do no such thing. You pulled your collar a little bit higher around your jaw, picked up your pace until you and Matt had finally arrived at the systems room.
Matt made to walk right past it. If it hadn't been for your quick reflexes, he would have done so, but you just barely managed to hook your arm through his and drag him through the metal door. You shoved him forward and quickly slammed it closed, pressing your back against it as rough pants rattled your chest.
“Go,” you ordered upon realising that Matt was simply staring at the lines upon lines of computers currently flashing at him. He swallowed thickly, nodded and dashed off to the nearest one. His fingers sped across the keyboard as he put in the details he needed, his tongue slowly making it's way out of his mouth in that way it always did when he was concentrating. His brown eyes narrowed, and he ran a hand through his messy brown hair.
You could have watched him forever when he was in this mindset, because it was one of the rare times he actually seemed at peace. Despite the risk of getting caught, despite the fact that you had just stolen the identity of two people who could very well be marching through these hallways right now, Matt was at peace because he was doing what he loved.
But you couldn't watch him forever. Not now. Not whenever you heard the voices ringing out behind the door.
Matt looked up, eyes frantic. Swiftly, you pulled your gun from the back of your dress trousers and whirled around, waving a dismissive hand in his direction.
“I can handle it.”
“They're early. By the time they get to the door, I won't have gotten in,” he replied. “Y/N, if we need to leave-”
“I can handle it!” you barked. “Get the information. Fast.”
Truth was, you weren't sure if you could handle it. The voices were getting louder and louder with each passing second. They would be passing the door soon, might just decide to look in if you and Matt hadn't been subtle enough – you couldn't risk that. You couldn't afford them getting suspicious and looking inside whenever Matt was elbow deep in their computers mechanics.
The gun trembled in your hands. If they were to open the door, you would never be able to get a direct hit. Your aim would be off, lives would be at risk, the alarms would go off and you-
“Have you got in yet?” you hissed, stumbling away from the door just as the heads of the passing scientists disappeared down the hallway. You nearly doubled over in relief, but used the energy instead to spin around and look at Matt.
He nodded slowly. “I'm in but . . . there's so much to undo. It'll take hours for all of it to transfer onto the memory stick.”
“We don't have hours.”
“I know that,” Matt hissed, running his hands through his hair. “I can only take little bits at a time.” He looked up at you. “We're gonna have to come back another day for the rest.”
You blinked, heart dropping into your stomach. “Matt...”
“I know it's not ideal,” he said, already plugging the memory stick into the side of the computer. “But we have no other choice. If Shiro doesn't like the sudden halt in plans, then he's gonna have to find another way. Right now, this is the only option we have.”
You didn't bother arguing with him; what could you even say? If he was unable to do it, then that was completely out of his control. Besides, the idea of risking another few minutes in this room, behind an unlocked door with Galra soldiers marching outside of it, had you uneasy. The quicker you got out of here – information obtained or not – the happier you would be.
Matt plucked the memory stick out from the computer after a few minutes, stuffed it into his pocket before dashing round the side of the desk and heading towards the door. You took one last hesitant glance back at the room before you followed behind him, making your way back down the hostile hallways.
+++
Never before had you been happier to see Team Voltron.
Lance opened the doors and immediately engulfed you in a welcome home hug. You spluttered against him, but wrapped your arms around his middle and hugged him back nonetheless.
“You both went off the radar,” he said. “We thought we'd lost you!”
“We had to take our jackets off to put on the blazers,” you explained, pulling away and flattening a piece of his hair with a fond smile on your face. “We left the tracking devices in the pockets of our old jackets.”
Lance grunted. “Don't scare me like-”
“Oh my God, there you are!”
You squeezed your eyes closed. Of course.
Caitlin stampeded through the array of people waiting to welcome you and Matt home, bouncing her shoulder roughly against Slav's and causing the poor man to stumble forward, just barely catching himself on Pidge's upper arm. She was wearing one of Matt's old jumpers, along with a pair of stained blue jeans and converse.
She looked casual. She truly looked as if she'd been having a spa day whilst you and Matt had been out risking your lives for the sake of people like her.
You gritted your teeth and forced yourself to look away before you could play victim to the sight of her crashing her lips against Matt's.
“They told me about you going off the radar,” she said. “I was so worried, Matt. I thought I'd lost you.”
“I'm fine,” Matt replied, a slight tremble to his voice that had you glancing over your shoulder to make sure he was okay.
His eyes were wide, cheeks flushed and fingers slack against her waist. It was a direct contrast to the tight grip Caitlin had on his shoulders, caging him in before he had a chance to detach himself from her arms.
“This is exactly the reason why I didn't want you going,” she huffed. “Y/N could have handled the mission perfectly well on their own. You had no reason to go.”
“Y/N isn't a computer programmer,” Pidge scoffed. “Idiot.”
Matt's eyes widened. You snickered, but quickly hid it with a cough as Caitlin whirled around to shoot a glare in your direction. She would never yell at Pidge – not with Matt in the room – meaning the first person she could release her anger on was you.
You gave her a wary grin. “I'm afraid Pidge is right. We needed Matt today.”
Matt placed a hand on Caitlin's arm. “It's okay, Cate. I'm fine. We're both fine.” He glanced up at Shiro then. “We might have to go back another few times to get the rest of the information.”
Shiro started to reply, but of course Caitlin had to get her own comments in first. It started with a shrill squeal of shock before she was spinning on her heel and slamming her hands into Matt's shoulders.
It could have been light hearted. There was every possibility that she didn't mean to hurt him, but you saw the way he winced, the way he stumbled back and bit his tongue in any attempt to keep his noise of pain at bay.
Caitlin's eyes were wide with fury. “You didn't tell me that!”
Matt blinked. “I didn't think it was-”
“You know what? If you two bonded so well on this mission, why don't you just go off with each other, huh?”
Matt's eyes widened. Your heart stopped, the crowd around you suddenly going eerily silent.
“Cate-”
“Don't call me that,” Caitlin hissed, slapping Matt's shoulders yet again. “I have had it up to here with trusting someone who would rather spend more time with some other person than me! I deserve better than that, Matt Holt! Much better!”
“It's for the mission!” Matt exclaimed. Lance had already awkwardly ducked out of the room, Pidge and Hunk following close behind him. Shiro glanced at you, silently asking whether or not you wanted him to stay to keep track of things – you simply nodded towards the door, giving him all the permission he needed. He grabbed Keith's arm and steered him out of the room, leaving you alone with the arguing couple.
“It just seems like you want to spend every moment you can with Y/N and not me,” Caitlin was saying. “Why should I put up with that?”
It was that question that spiked your fury, the genuine tinge of betrayal in her voice. She had the nerve to ask Matt why she should bother with him when he had put up with her bullshit for months now. He had suffered through abuse and insults and being made to feel tiny for her to lose her mind over something as petty and childish as this.
You gritted your teeth and risked a step forward. “Are you-”
Caitlin whirled on you. “And you stay out of this, you bitch!” And then she swung her arm, her long nails raking across the flesh of your cheek. You cried out, stumbled back with the force of the blow – it wasn't so much her strength, but more the shock that came with the sudden slap.
Your eyes watered, blurring your vision, but not enough for you to be unable to see Matt taking a step forward. He grabbed Caitlin around the waist, lifted her behind him even as she kicked and screamed and clawed at the air in any attempt to reach you.
Matt set her down and immediately rushed to your side. You hadn't even realised you had fallen over until he was beside you, gently stroking the hair away from your neck, whispering words to you that made no sense past the thrumming of blood in your ears.
Caitlin cried out. “Look at this! You go straight to them even though I'm right here!”
“Would you just be quiet!” Matt suddenly roared. You flinched back, the volume of his voice stunning you – never before had you heard him be quite so aggressive. This was Matt you were talking about; sweet, delicate Matt who wouldn't hurt a single soul even if his life depended on it.
He didn't cast her a glance even after he yelled. Caitlin was stunned into silence, her arms wrapped tight around her middle, her eyes firm on the back of Matt's head as she watched him help you up, one hand firm on your elbow to steady you. You could walk. You were perfectly fine bar the scratches currently oozing blood upon your cheek, but you stumbled nonetheless. The shock had gotten to you, the affects of the last two minutes making it difficult for you to even concentrate on a simple task such as walking.
“Let's go. Come on,” Matt whispered, leading you out the door. He didn't look back at Caitlin, but instead directed you to his room, where he sat you down on the bed before disappearing into the bathroom.
When he was gone, the ship seemed eerily quiet. You were so used to hearing Caitlin parading around the hallways, giving her usual orders or making her usual snarky remarks. You were used to hearing Shiro in the kitchen giving Lance a lecture on what he should and shouldn't be eating, was so used to Hunk and Colleen talking about the different kinds of plants that could be used within different recipes. You were so used to noise that the sudden silence had you feeling numb, unsure where to direct your thoughts.
They zoned in on what just happened, no matter how hard you tried to get them to focus elsewhere. Matt's face. Caitlin's words. What she could have done had Matt not grabbed her. What she will do whenever Matt and her finally came face-to-face again.
You shivered at the thought.
“Pull my blanket over you if you're cold.”
You jumped, head snapping towards the bathroom where Matt was standing in the doorway, busy stirring a tablet into some water.
“I'm fine,” you croaked out. “You look a little shaken up.”
He did. His eyes were now veined as he tried to fight back tears, his cheeks pale and sunken in.
He glanced up and shrugged, wading over to you with the cup in his hand. He placed it on the bed side table before hesitantly lowering himself onto the mattress beside you.
“I didn't know she was gonna go for you.”
“I know you didn't.” You shrugged. “It doesn't matter. What's done is done now.”
“You shouldn't be thinking like that. She hurt you, Y/N.”
You bit your tongue; you so desperately wanted to bring up the fact that she had been hurting him from the very beginning of their relationship, both emotionally and physically. The manipulation you had seen Matt play victim to was scary, and the fact that he was so oblivious to it was even scarier.
Matt sighed and trailed his hands through his hair. “I'll talk to her. I'll – I'll tell her to get help.”
“She's not staying on this ship.” Even as you said it, you knew the decision was final. You had family on this ship, people you loved and cared for – you would fight till the ends of the earth if it meant getting her away from them.
Matt froze. When he spoke, his voice was small and strained with his efforts of not crying. “She can change.”
“She won't,” you replied bluntly. “She's had her chances, and you know that. So you can either go with her or stay – but I'm not putting my family in danger by keeping her here. Not any more.”
Matt pushed his palms into his eyes, as if doing so could somehow push this conversation back. “I've been such an idiot, haven't I?”
Your head jerked in his direction. “What-”
“You told me on the ship today,” he said. “You told me I was smarter than this, and I am. It's just . . . . I thought I was in love, Y/N.”
You swallowed thickly. This had definitely not been the direction you had been expecting the conversation to go. You had wanted to talk to him about this issue for months, but now that he was initiating it, every long-willed and emotional speech you had mentally prepared had disappeared into the back of your mind.
“She treated me well at the start,” he croaked out. “We were happy. And then she got comfortable, thought she could start controlling me, and I let her. I just – did whatever she told me to because I thought that would stop her from lashing out. But then even doing what she said wasn't enough. I couldn't do the things I wanted to do without her getting mad at me, claiming I was leaving her out or favouring someone else over her.”
“You were being manipulated, Matt. None of us understands how that feels. Nobody can blame you until they've experienced it themselves.”
Matt shook his head, lower lip trembling. “Why did it take her hurting you for me to finally realise who she is?”
Your breath hitched, the scratches on your face suddenly burning. “I don't – I don't know.”
“I've never felt so angry at her,” he continued. “She's thrown a glass at me, and I didn't feel as angry at her then as I do now.”
“Matt-”
“I'm not thinking straight,” he grumbled, standing up before you had a chance to grab for his arm. He stumbled towards the door, gripping his hair into a ponytail at the nape of his neck before letting it fall and cascade down his back again. “You can leave when you're ready. I'm gonna go and find some fresh air.”
You made to stand up. “Matt, let's just talk about this. You can't go out there on your own. Not when you're like this.”
He waved a dismissive hand in your direction, swallowing thickly. For a second, he looked like he was about to say something, but then his eyes fell to the floor and he shook his head, leaving you behind with not a single word spoken.
+++
They were arguing again. It sounded bad. Worse than before.
You were sat upright in bed this time, leaning your head back against the wall with your eyes closed. The covers were draped over the top of your knees, even as they were bunched up to your chest, a way to stabilise yourself as you listened in to Caitlin's screaming and Matt's calm responses that never seemed to get him any further forward.
Already two glasses had smashed. You heard them crash against the wall, followed abruptly by Matt saying, “You didn't have to do that,” as if his calm and collected demeanour was going to do anything at all for the fury Caitlin was feeling. Caitlin had laughed at him, called him stupid before she went back to screaming at the top of her lungs over something you had yet to catch on to.
You had a fairly good idea, though. It had to be about earlier, about Matt protecting you over her. There was no other logical explanation, nothing else Matt could have done that would have angered Caitlin so much.
It must have been around one in the morning when the argument finally started to cease. Caitlin got quieter, no more glasses were being smashed, Matt had gone completely silent-
And then something crashed against the wall.
You jerked upright immediately, pure terror sinking through your body. You were scrambling out of the covers before you even had a chance to comprehend what was going on, throwing yourself towards the door and yanking it open just in time for Matt to yank his own bedroom door open and come flooding out. He didn't spare you a glance when he turned the corner and all-but-sprinted down the hallway.
Your eyes flicked to the open door. Caitlin stood there, gripping the door frame with whitening knuckles, panting heavily. There was blood on her palm, a piece of glass dropped to the floor beside her; she looked insane. She looked utterly, completely insane and there was a side of you now that wanted to dive towards her and pummel her.
But you glanced back down the hallway to where Matt had just fled, and you realised that he was much more important than her.
You turned back to Caitlin. “What did you do to him?”
She looked up at you through the tips of her eyelids, her dark hair scraggled and hanging in her eyes. She didn't give you a proper answer, merely shrugged and said, “I'm sure he wants you right now, so you can find out then.”
You didn't have time to argue, didn't have time to piece together her snide little comment. You shoved yourself off the door frame and dashed down the hall towards Matt, heart thumping at a million miles per hour; he was going to be hurt. He was going to be hurt, and heartbroken, because maybe now he had finally come to terms with the truth. No matter how evil you saw Caitlin, no matter how evil she genuinely was, Matt had loved her at one point. He had been so deep beneath her spell that, despite the abuse she had given him, he still would have gone to the ends of the earth for her.
You rounded the corner, and there he was.
Curled up at the end of the hallway, half hidden behind shadows cast from the window above him. He rubbed at his wrist roughly, something he always did when he was fighting off the urge to cry; you had seen it many of times, and every single time, it completely broke your heart.
“Matt,” you choked out. He didn't look up. He didn't really need to. He simply closed his eyes and let his head fall forward, letting the first few tears slip down his cheeks. He was with you now. He could cry if he wanted to.
You kneeled down beside him and placed a gentle hand on his arm. He stopped rubbing his wrist, glanced up at you and shook his head; it was a simple gesture, one that portrayed his message perfectly.
It's over.
You nodded back, pulling his hand into your lap and intertwining your fingers with his. He shuffled closer to you, his knee clipping against your own, and the two of you sat in the warm comfort that came with the silence. Neither of you needed to talk. Neither of you needed to comfort the other person, or make up some bullshit excuse as to why you were sitting in a hallway with tears streaming down your face – just being there, with Matt by your side and his hand in your own, was enough for you. It was enough for both of you.
Hours must have passed before the silence was finally shattered and Matt spoke up. His voice was groggy, thick with unshed tears and memories of what – you hoped – he was leaving behind.
“I should have listened to you.”
You rubbed your thumb against his own. “You don't have to think about her any more. I'll make sure – I'll make sure you're safe.”
“I don't want pity.”
“I'm not giving you pity. I'm being a good friend.”
Matt closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.
“What did it?” you asked before your nerve could splinter. He creaked open one eye, pinched his brows together in confusion. You inhaled before elaborating. “What did she do this time that was so different from all them other times? What made you finally decide to leave?”
Matt didn't stiffen, didn't shy away from the personal question. His grip on your hand tightened that little bit more before he opened both of his eyes and glanced down at your joined fingers. Bracelets hung loosely around his wrist, the string tickling your flesh but you did not pull away. Not when he started messing idly with your fingers, plucking each one and letting it snap back against his leg in a way you could only describe as childish.
It was nice to see him relax for a change.
“She threatened to kill you.”
Your breath left you in one clean swoop. Your head snapped round, eyes wide and heart thundering – and yet you did not move, even though every instinct in your body was screaming for you to stand up and confront Caitlin before she could become even more of a threat. That was what you had been trained to do – dismiss the threat, get rid of anyone who may be willing to hurt you or your family.
But you stayed beside Matt, staring at the side of his head as the world tilted and disappeared until it was only him that you could properly concentrate on.
He pursed his lips, not looking at you when he continued. “She's not safe to be around. I should have realised that sooner, but – but before, she was just hurting me. Mentally, physically, but it was just me and I could deal with that. But then tonight...” He bit his lip, started messing with the ring on your finger. “Tonight she said she was going to kill you, and I snapped. I realised what you had been telling me was true the entire time, so I stormed out. She tried to throw a glass at my head when I was walking out, but I think she ended up cutting herself instead-”
“She did,” you burst out, because you just needed to talk, just needed to say something. “She – She sliced her palm open.”
Matt nodded. “I didn't go back even though I heard her cry out.” He looked at you. “That's – That's progress, isn't it? I can – I can get over her.”
You had never been one for affection. You had been trained in the art of being completely heartless when you needed to be, but it was different with Matt. You reached over, wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug before you could think about your own actions – and it was natural.
His head dipped into the crook of your neck and it was there that he started crying. There were no sobs, no racking shoulders and hysteric screams. The only sign you really had that he was finally letting go was the damp tears sliding onto your flesh. You reached up and ran your hands through his hair, letting him cry because this was what he needed. It was what he had needed for months, and you were honoured to be the one he trusted enough to finally let it happen.
+++
“Happy Valentines Day!”
You looked up, startled at the sudden loud noise that had emitted from the doorway. With your headphones dangling around your ears and your sweatpants rolled up to your knees, you did not look ready to go on a surprise Valentines Day date.
Which seemed to be exactly what Matt had planned.
He stood in the doorway wearing his Spiderman pyjamas, an unopened cake in his hand alongside a bottle of wine that you knew neither of you would finish. It was the same every celebration – Matt would spend plenty of money on alcohol, only for you to both get so absorbed in conversation that you would forget about it until it no longer interested you.
Your computer and the work within it went ignored as you stood up and dashed towards the door, grabbing the cake out of Matt's hands. He smiled at you.
“That's the first thing you grab for?” he teased, raising a brow.
You grinned, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips before you span on your heel and dashed back towards the bed, flopping down upon it with the boxed cake balancing on your knee. “Where did you find the time to do all this?”
“It wasn't difficult,” he replied, sitting down next to you, pulling two forks out of his back pocket. “Not when you've been working all day. I've barely seen you.”
You sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm a bit behind on work, and-”
“Don't apologise,” he scoffed, shoving the fork into your hand. “I can see you now, and that's all I care about. Now, let's eat.” He stretched out across the bed, placing one hand behind his head. “And tell me all about how your Valentines Day without your boyfriend has been.”
You rolled your eyes. “You really know how to make a person feel bad.”
He grinned. “I'm teasing. I know how hard you work.” He sat bolt upright. “But from here until tomorrow morning, you're not doing any more work. We're gonna take as many hours out of Valentines Day as we possibly can, whether we-”
You cut him off by crying out, the cake on your fork having spilled and landed directly on your shirt.
Matt's flinch was unmistakable, as you had seen it plenty of times before. His entire body jerked, his hands flying up to cover his face as if he expected you to swing for him – it broke your heart every time it happened.
As soon as his eyes met yours and he realised what had happened, he relaxed. He rolled his eyes, pretending he hadn't just completely lost himself for a moment in believing you were going to hurt him. He leaned forward and started dabbing at the front of your shirt, shaking his head like a disappointed dad.
But whilst he was used to his own reflexes, you couldn't let it drop like that. You stared at him for a moment, before reaching up and taking his hand in your own. He froze, shocked at the sudden movement, risked giving you a tiny, confused smile before you leaned in and pressed your lips to his own.
He hummed against your mouth, eyes widening for only a moment before he pulled away and raised a brow. “What was that for?”
“She's gone,” you whispered, and he froze. “You know I'd never hurt you, Matt. You don't have to be scared any more.”
Matt's features softened with realisation. He hadn't even fully noticed that he had flinched, that he still flinched every time a loud noise sounded around him. It had been two years since Caitlin had been banished from the castle ship, and still the remains of her abuse lingered in the back of Matt's brain.
He pressed his forehead to your own. “I know. It's reflex. I'm – I'm sorry.”
“Don't apologise,” you said, quoting his previous words. “I love you.”
Matt smiled, pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose before he whispered, “I love you more.”
“Goodnight, Allura-” Shiro smiled as she trotted up the girl’s dormitory steps, turning to give him a wave before disappearing. It was only their second study session, but they already felt like they had been friends for weeks; in fact, they had spent so much time talking that Shiro still had a lot of work to do. He dropped into one of the cushy armchairs that littered the common room, sighing contentedly.
“Where’ve you been?”
Shiro gasped, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest when hands came down on his shoulders and a voice sounded suddenly next to his ear.
“Matt!” Shiro cried, swatting at his friend, who scrambled to perch on the arm of Shiro’s chair.
“Did I scare you?” Matt grinned. “What’s up? I thought you only had class until four on Thursdays.”
“I was just studying,” Shiro shrugged, fishing in his bag for a fresh piece of parchment.
Matt slid off the chair, moving to an ottoman facing Shiro. “Just studying?” He raised his brow, “So mysterious, Shiro. With who?” Shiro didn’t say anything, but Matt’s eyes flickered to the girl’s dormitory staircase. His eyes widened, as if he was just realizing who Shiro had walked in with. “Allura? Alfor’s daughter? Do you even talk to her? Does anyone even talk to her?”
For some reason, Matt’s questions made Shiro evasive, defensive. “Obviously, yeah, I talk to her. We’re just in the same Potions class.”
A mischievous smile pulled at Matt’s face. He sat forward, “Wait, do you- y’know, like her?
“No, dude!” Shiro scowled, glad his face was staying a normal color. “We’re friends. Lay off.”
“Since when?” Matt raised a brow, but without waiting for an answer continued, “Is she really as stuck up as people say? I heard from Mitch Fitzgera-”
“-Mitch Fitzgerald is a dumbass,” Shiro interrupted, “So who cares? Do you like her or something?”
That got Matt to shut up. “Whatever,” he said, grinning so Shiro would smile too. “Anyway, did you hear what happened in Professor Santos’ class-”
“-Matt!”
Matt pushed off the tree he had been leaning against, shifting his broom into the other hand to wave at the figure that approached the Castle entrance.
Scratch that- figures.
Matt frowned. As they picked their way down the sloping grounds, he could more clearly make out Shiro’s mop of black hair and the girl with the silver ponytail that swung beside him. He tried not to scowl.
Allura smiled at him, but he turned and fell into step just ahead of them. Shiro jogged up a couple steps to come right behind Matt’s shoulder. “Sorry that took awhile, you weren’t waiting too long, right?”
Matt shrugged, not looking back at his friend. “It’s fine. I just didn’t realize she was coming,” he said, his tone nonchalant.
“Oh-” Shiro leaned forward, trying to get a better read on Matt’s expression. “I figured you wouldn’t mind-”
“-I don’t care, I just didn’t think she would be into Quidditch. ‘Cause you guys are always just studying or whatever.”
Behind him, Shiro and Allura exchanged glances. There was silence, neither of them sure how to react. After a minute Allura cleared her throat, venturing, “Yeah- actually, I want to try out for Keeper, maybe.”
Shiro nudged Matt, giving him a prompting smile. “Think about next year, huh? You’re Seeker, I’m Chaser, Allura’s Keeper? We’d be unstoppable.”
Matt’s expression was frozen for a second, but he broke into a smile and pushed back against Shiro’s shoulder. “We’d snatch that Cup right from under Slytherin’s nose.”
The trio broke into chuckles as they continued on toward the training pitch.
Matt pressed his finger against the curve of his spoon, absently watching the handle bob up and down. His stomach growled, reminding him that he’d been sitting in the Great Hall for nearly fifteen minutes. He glanced over at the doorway. Nothing.
He was beginning to consider taking a fork to his eye when a small paper crane flapped right into his face and fell onto his empty plate. It unfolded to reveal a slanted scrawl that read, “Not done yet. Eat without me. Sorry! -Shiro.”
Matt rolled his eyes, shoving his hand into his bag to fish for a quill. On the back of Shiro’s note he scrawled the symbol most universally acknowledged by mankind; a dick. No further explanation required. With a smug smile Matt folded the paper into an airplane and tossed it into the air so it could zoom back to the library.
Of course, Matt Holt never had such luck. The plane flew past the Gryffindor table and directly into the broad chest of Professor Iverson. To Matt’s horror, Iverson immediately opened the note and looked directly at him with stern eyes. Matt braced himself for what would come next. “Holt-!”
When the Fat Lady closed behind him with a low thud, Matt found Shiro still awake, reading in an armchair. Part of Matt wanted to sneak up to the boy’s dorm unnoticed, but Shiro looked up and called to him.
“Hey, where have you been?” Shiro sat up in his chair but Matt didn’t join him.
“Oh, just, y’know, cleaning the trophy case,” Matt shrugged, “With Iverson. For two hours. The usual.”
“What?” Shiro’s brow knit, “Why?”
“Because I just love dusting, Shiro,” Matt rolled his eyes, throwing up a hand. Normally he would have checked his tone, especially with his best friend, but his exhaustion got the better of him. “I got detention. For passing notes, because somebody couldn’t just come to the Great Hall to tell me he was ditching me. Again.”
Shiro blinked, making that stupid surprised face he always got when someone accused him of something. “Detention? How is that my fault? I told you, Allura and I have a quiz-”
“You always have a quiz! Or a test, or a paper, or something. Like I don’t know how to do homework, like I’m only good enough when you need another Quidditch buddy-” Matt’s face was getting redder by the second. He hadn’t really meant to say any of it, but once it started pouring out he couldn’t seem to stop. “We’ve barely hung out all quarter, because apparently our plans are never as good as whatever you’ve got going with her.”
“Allura has nothing to do with this!” Shiro glared at him with crossed arms, eyes flashing. “You’re just mad because I didn’t want to die in the Forbidden Forest with you and Ravi, because I’m not an idiot.”
A sharp puff of air blew from Matt’s nostrils. “You know what? Fine. I hope you and Allura have a great time kissing Alfor’s ass. Maybe if you suck up to her enough you can win back the points I lost because of your stupid note.”
The only sounds that came next were the thump of Shiro’s back hitting the chair and the slam of the boy’s dormitory door.
They made up two days later, sitting awkwardly on the edge of Matt’s bed, but not before more hurtful words had been thrown around. It had been about a week since then, and every day they were increasingly relieved to put more time between them and those forty eight hours of sullen silence. Matt could count the number of fights they’d had on one hand, but each one was a rather painful memory.
Now he found himself again in the Great Hall, approaching the Gryffindor table. He steeled himself with a sigh and marched over to where a silver head was bent over a spell book.
He decided it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission and sat across from Allura without prompting. “Hey.”
She looked up, obviously startled. “Hi, Matt.” Her eyes flickered from him to the empty seats around them, as if waiting for him to realize he had sat in the wrong place. She cleared her throat. “Um, I don’t know where Shiro is, if that’s-”
“Oh, no, I know-” Matt tried not to wince at the unbearable awkwardness. His fingertips tapped against the tabletop, his gaze meeting Allura’s tentatively. “Well, I know where he is, actually. It’s kinda funny-” A smile, like a peace offering, tugged at the corners of his lips. He sucked in a breath, leaning a little closer over the table. Allura raised a brow, but slowly closed her book and met his eyes. “-Do you know Emma Rossey?”
“The scary Slytherin with the ears? Yeah, everyone knows her.” Something like a smile played over her lips.
Matt’s expression brightened. He leaned further in, voice low and scheming. “I have on good authority that at this very moment, she is asking Shiro out on the moving staircases.”
Allura’s lip dropped. “Shiro? Like- Shiro?”
Matt nodded. “Yep. Our Shiro.”
Our Shiro. Allura’s smile widened. “Wow. Emma Rossey. So she trapped him on the staircase? That sounds about right. Bet he got his foot stuck in that hole, near the-”
“-The Pegasus lady? Definitely,” Matt snorted.
Allura got a mischievous glint in her eye as she whispered, “Y’know, I bet she planned it so she could get to him before Eva. I heard her plotting about it the other night in the girl’s dormitory...”
When Shiro arrived at the Great Hall a few minutes later, beet red and agitated, he was relieved at first to see his two friends sitting together, chatting and laughing. It was only when he walked up to the table and saw the devious looks on their faces that he realized he might have created a monster.
