We're revising our musical The Art of Pleasing Princes! Here's a little sneak peek of changes to come. Follow along here or on our TikTok/Insta for more! Lyrics under the cut.
Stage Directions:
The curtain rises on an elaborate, Versailles-style banquet, laid out like Da Vinci’s Last Supper. Courtiers are frozen, mid conversation, mid-bite, mid-stab. If it were possible, wine is frozen mid-pour. Petals from the elaborate floral centerpiece are frozen mid-fall. It is beautiful, and fake, which makes it ugly.
At the center of the table, THE KING’s throne is turned upstage (with THE KING sitting in it, currently played by MADDOX, not visible to the audience.) To his right is MAYA, back ramrod-straight, in layers of restrictive ruffles. To his left slouches ROWAN, wearing all black, a pearl necklace, and too many rings, playing with his steak knife. Standing behind The King’s right shoulder is JASON, in his formal uniform or armor. LOUIS pours wine into The King’s glass as he whispers in his ear. More courtiers are seated on the left and right of the main characters. In frozen pantomime, they jostle, vie, and scheme. Everyone wants to be as close to the center as possible.
THE KING, still facing away, raises one bejeweled hand, holding his wine glass. Suddenly, the tableau springs to life. Wine is poured, money exchanged, gossip whispered. Clean, dark decadence. 1. The Oldest Game
Lyrics:
COURTIERS: GLITTERING SLICES OF PAINTED-ON FACES. GOLD-COLORED GLASSES REFLECT EVERYTHING. IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE HAD SUCH A BANQUET. MUCH TOO LONG SINCE WE LAST SAW THE KING.
THE PRINCE IS GROWING ANGRY; THE PRINCESS GROWING MORE BEGUILING. THE GUESTS ARE GROWING RESTLESS. BUT WHEN THE KING IS SMILING, EVERYONE’S SMILING. COURTIERS/LOUIS WHEN THE KING IS SMILING, EVERYONE’S SMILING.
The courtiers begin to move in slow motion as LOUIS moves among them, pouring wine, slipping notes, and listening in. LOUIS addresses the audience with a secretive grin.
LOUIS: WELCOME TO THE OLDEST GAME. THE ONE YOU HAVE TO PLAY. DOGS EATING DOGS, PREDATORS STALKING TRYING THEIR BEST NOT TO LOOK LIKE PREY. (he tiptoes closer to the King) HERE’S THE FIELD, THERE’S THE GOAL. CHOOSE YOUR PIECES, TAKE CONTROL. NOBODY STARTS IT AND ENDS IT THE SAME. BUT ANYONE CAN PLAY THE OLDEST GAME.
The courtiers return to normal time, their dinner complete as they move into dancing. LOUIS acts as the master of ceremonies, making matches between dancers, cuing the band.
COURTIERS/LOUIS: YOUR BODY IS YOUR CHESSPIECE. MOVE IT FOR YOUR LIFE. KEEP YOUR HEART INSIDE YOUR SLEEVE. KEEP YOUR HAND BESIDE YOUR KNIFE. START TO LEARN THE LADDER. WHO’S BELOW AND WHO’S ABOVE. YOU’D BEST NOT CLIMB TOO QUICKLY. YOU’D BEST NOT FALL IN LOVE.
WELCOME TO THE OLDEST GAME THE ONE YOU CAN’T REFUSE. THE MORE YOU BET, THE MORE YOU GET, THE MORE YOU HAVE TO LOSE. CHOOSE YOUR TACTICS, PLAY YOUR ROLE. SELL YOUR FRIENDS OUT, SELL YOUR SOUL. BUT NEVER FORGET THE REASON YOU CAME: ANYONE CAN WIN THE OLDEST GAME. THE OLDEST GAME.
The dance becomes feverish, almost frantic. Our principals take the front stage.
LOUIS: THE GAME IS FAIR
ROWAN: IF YOU DON’T CARE WHAT YOU GIVE UP TO GET AHEAD.
JASON: THE GAME IS EASY
MAYA: IF YOU PLEASE THE KING BEFORE YOU END UP DEAD.
JASON/MAYA/LOUIS/ROWAN: AND THE GAME IS LONG! IF YOU’RE LUCKY, THE GAME IS LONG.
LOUIS: AND IF YOU’RE REALLY LUCKY THEY’LL REMEMBER ONCE YOU’RE GONE.
COURTIERS: (starting out in a whisper, then gradually accelerating into a scream) WELCOME TO THE OLDEST GAME WITH RULES YOU CAN’T FORGET. NO ONE’S UNTOUCHABLE, NOWHERE IS SAFE AND FAMILY IS JUST ONE MORE THREAT! WELCOME TO THE OLDEST GAME WITH POWER AT ITS CORE: TRAPPED IN JOUSTS AND BALLS AND THE OPERA THERE’S LOVE AND DEATH AND GREED AND WAR! NAKED AMBITION, CAMOUFLAGED STRIFE. PLAY BY THE RULES OR YOU’LL LOSE YOUR LIFE! IT’S A NATURAL ORDER, WITH NO ONE TO BLAME A RAGING INFERNO TOO MASSIVE TO TAME BUT YOU CAN BE BURNT OR BECOME THE NEXT FLAME YOU COULD BE THE NEWEST PIECE IN THE OLDEST GAME. THE OLDEST GAME. THE OLDEST GAME!
