#jason bartok

[heaven-is-a-stimboard]

Jasonlouis Stimboard — Border Collie & Shetland Sheepdog Stims

Requested by @haozef

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[melliotwrites]

Have a knight song for your night! (A demo of "I Don't Know" from the revision of our musical, The Art of Pleasing Princes. Yes, it has the same title as Jason's song from the first draft and yes, it is a totally different song.)

Lyrics under the cut!

JASON:

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. THAT’S NOT MY STYLE. I LISTENED TO PEOPLE PASSING BY. I WORKED HARD TO DISAPPEAR. IF YOU LISTEN HARD ENOUGH, YOU CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING. IT’S MY JOB TO LISTEN, NOT TO HEAR.

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME. YOU MISS THE THINGS YOU USED TO HATE. SOME SANDY BREAD, A BOOK, A DRINK. I LIKED TO READ ENOUGH TO KNOW THE WORLD. IT’S MY JOB TO KNOW THINGS, NOT TO THINK.

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHAT IF I DID IT? I DON’T REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. AND YOU SAID - WELL - IT COULD BE TRUE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN MY HEAD. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I COULD DO.

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. IT HELPS ME THINK. LIKE HOW AM I HERE, IF THINGS WERE SO GOOD? WHEN A SWORD MISSES, THE SWORD’S NOT TO BLAME. THE GUARDS DOWN HERE ARE JUST HIRED SWORDS. IT WAS MY JOB TO SWING IT, NOT TO AIM.

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHO IS TO BLAME? THE BOOKS ALL SAY IT WAS ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT YOU SAID - WELL - WE DID THIS SOMEHOW. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I’VE DONE. I DON’T KNOW IF IT MATTERS NOW.

WHEN YOU’RE IN THE MACHINE, YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT MAKES. YOU DON’T ASK WHERE IT COMES FROM. YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT TAKES. WE ALL HAVE OUR ORDERS. WE ALL WANT TO STAY ALIVE. BUT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I KILLED MYSELF JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.

AND I’VE BEEN THINKING - WAS IT SO GOOD? WHEN TOMORROW WAS LIKE YESTERDAY AND YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE. I NEVER THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS PERFECT BUT I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS FAIR. BUT MAYBE ALL WE EVER HAD WAS THE PRIVILEGE NOT TO CARE.

AND NOW YOU'RE BUILDING A WORLD WITHOUT ME SOMETHING SHARP AND COLD AND NEW I’VE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING THAT MUCH, BUT IF I DID- I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I MIGHT DO.

[i-eated-paint]

happy 2aopp! thank you @thetidekeepsrising for the pictures ❤️❤️❤️

[runawaysfromthepride]

@melliotwrites

[binhs-stimblog]

Purple Jason Bartok (2AOPP) stimboard

self-indulgent

with bird + related stims

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[maddoxmaxxing]

happy disability pride month, here are my 2aopp disability headcanons

rowan

tbi from physical abuse. has issues with vision, concentration, mood, and physical tics caused by it.

adhd. hyperactive-impulsive type.

mdd/clinical depression. what it says on the can, hes canonically suicidal.

histrionic pd. tempestuous subtype.

ptsd. only became truly apparent after the palace fell.

maddox

severe hearing loss in their left ear, fully deaf in their right ear due to the explosion(? idk what to call it).

tourettes, moderate. has a lot of facial tics and definitely has whistling tics.

c-ptsd.

antisocial pd. factor two/secondary psychopath, covetous subtype.

osdd-1.

chronic pain and nerve damage. in their arms and hands specifically due to to the amount of burns they experienced.

dyspraxia.

chronic pain and post-traumatic arthritis. specifically in their left leg; it was broken due to them being trapped under rubble and didnt heal correctly

maya

autism. low support needs, low masking.

religious ocd.

jason

false memory and harm ocd.

autism. low support needs, high masking.

louis

harm ocd.

narcissistic pd. vulnerable subtype.

body dysmorphia.

visual impairment. legally blind.

mild hearing loss.

asthma.

[elliotly]

"watch out. jason's verse scans to creep by radiohead" - mel

[stimboard-radio]

jasonlouis (Jason Bartok/ Louis Rosemont) stimboard

✭ with flower/ shiny stims

✫ RQ'd by @bloodrelatedangel !

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