TF2 MERCS AND WHAT FLOWERS I THINK THEY WOULD GET YOU
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TF2 MERCS AND WHAT FLOWERS I THINK THEY WOULD GET YOU
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Scout: Lego flowers
When he asked spy for some advice on what flowers to get you, the response was to get you something unique that would impress you.
So the most logical thing for Scout was to get you a Lego flower set since the flowers won't wither and you will have a nice decoration that will remind you of him.
Soldier: wild flowers
He saw some dried flowers on the side of the road that reminded him of you.
Gathered a handfull of those and came running to show them to you. Ain't that sweet?
Pyro: crocheted flowers
He spend 3 months learning how to crochet and make them.
Took multiple tries before they turned out perfect and you can tell he poured all his love in them.
Demoman: Generic bouquet
He is sweet and lovable, but in reality, I don't think he knows anything about romance.
Therefore, he will get you the first most basic premade flower bouquet that his eye landed on. Sorry...
Heavy: Something classy
He can be described as stupid by some and terrifying by others, but at heart he is a distinguished gentleman.
He will get you something simple, but delicate.
Engineer: Tea flowers
He is a man that priorities functionality over looks so he will get you a bouquet of different flowers like lavander, roses or chamomile that you can dry and use for tea.
Medic: Also clasic, but bigger
Just like Heavy, he is a gentleman and will get you something classy.
But since he is a very flamboyant guy, Medic will have to show off by getting you the biggest bouquet he could find.
Spy: Something fancy
This motherfucker is an expert in romance and expensive things and so he will go all in by getting you the biggest and most breathtaking flower bouquet you've only seen on Pinterest boards.
Sniper: Handpicked
Another sweety that will bring you a bouquet of handpicked flowers. But Sniper will also add some wild berries he found around because they looked tasty.
What is it like when the mercs wake up in the morning
gn reader pls!!!
ah, i see someone's read my falling asleep with the mercs headcanons!
Waking Up with the Mercs
Contains: fluff, extremely slight sexual content
Scout
Just before his alarm wakes him up he's splayed out on the bed, gangly limbs sticking out everywhere.
If he was cuddling you before, you're probably just curled up against him now.
Enjoy it while you can because once his alarm goes off he's out of bed. It's the first two words of chop suey for him. WAKE UP.
If you're not a morning person then good luck getting used to it. He'll let you sleep if that's what you want but this guy never slows down and once he's out of bed he's just off to the races.
The only exception is on the weekends because that means sleeping in and watching TV and reading comic books.
Soldier
Unless you are also as insane as him he's waking up long before you.
Solly's up at o-dark-thirty, immediately gets dressed, gets a workout aka training in, probably makes and chugs a big smoothie full of protein and vitamins and all. alongside his breakfast of plain toast with nothing on it
or, god forbid, chipped beef. also known as shit on a shingle. I feel like this dude unironically likes it.
Engie and Pyro could be making bacon and eggs for everyone and he'd still eat like he's in the military. Probably has actual MREs stocked up.
You do your thing, he'll see you when he sees you. He'll save you whatever's left in the blender. He actually makes a mean smoothie.
Pyro
Has a habit of sleeping in, but can you blame him? Comfy cozy bed full of blankets, and plushies, and you of course
She doesn't wanna leave! Enjoy the early morning snuggles!
But they're usually on breakfast duty. Eventually Engie will show up to get them.
Pyro is one of the better cooks of the bunch, and also the one in charge of making happy face pancakes for everyone! Can't forget the presentation of the dish!
Those pancakes aren't gonna win hell's kitchen or anything anytime soon but they're happy to see you. A nice little pick me up if you've had a rough night.
Demomanļæ¼
He's probably hungover, so he's not in a very good mood. That or he sobered up sometime yesterday and the withdrawal just hit.
Whatever the reason, he's gonna stay in bed for a bit. You're welcome to cuddle, but don't speak, don't turn the light on, don't have the blinds open, and don't stop him from sprinting to the bathroom if he has to puke.
And wake him when there's food.
He'll probably want a big breakfast, or his comfort food, shortbread cookies.
He's pretty much never at his best. Least you can do is try not to make it worse.
Heavy
Gets up on time, makes himself a coffee, and reads the newspaper.
Tries his best not to wake you up if you're still asleep.
If you're trying to wake up at a reasonable hour he can help you stick to that. Even if he has to pick you up and set you down at the breakfast table or in the bathroom himself.
If you think you're too heavy for Heavy to lift you are wrong. Yes, even you.
So you're in the shower trying not to fall asleep standing up but hey the hard part's over!
Engineer
Another early bird, but he's gotta make breakfast, so that's why.
He makes sure you don't miss out on that. He'll get you up when the food's ready and on special occasions he'll even bring you breakfast in bed.
Makes really good breakfast tacos. He likes to put the really good salsa verde from Chuy's on his instead of normal hot sauce
Of course, you might not see him until breakfast is ready if he decided to pull an all-nighter in his workshop
Which means you might have to make him go to bed at some point.
Medic
Also has a habit of pulling all-nighters, so expect to wake up to him joining you for a cuddle.
After he's fed the birds, of course.
Thinks you're just the cutest thing ever when you're sleepy. Even if you look like an absolute trainwreck.
Tends to enable your bad sleeping habits, if you have any. He just loves spending time with you so go ahead, sleep in!
He might need sleep even more than you, depending how the night went. Even if you're getting out of bed he will attempt to lure you back with cuddles.
Sniper
Wakes up disoriented and very much looking like an absolute trainwreck.
He'll look over at you and just the sight of you puts him in a better mood.
Grabs a jar as soon as possible you know it's piss time for that man.
Will skip breakfast if you don't hold him to it. He doesn't take the best care of himself but he'll trudge all the way to the kitchen for you, with you.
But first, coffee. Likes it black as night and hot as the outback on a hot summer day.
Spy
He'll ask you how you slept and how you're feeling after last night. (wink)
You're both probably long overdue for a shower. You're welcome to join him, but as the host he'll let you have it first if you'd rather shower alone.
Most complicated morning routine of the bunch. Shower, shave, skincare, suit.
The mask is off during this time, so even if you're not fooling around, it's still an intimate occasion.
He secretly really loves Engie and Pyro's cooking, just let him have his coffee and cigarette with it and don't tell anyone he's smiling back at Pyro's pancakes.
Hello! Hello! Hello!
I've been drawing my TF2 Oc and I'm been feeling quite self indulgent because of it. May I have one tf2 mercs x big buff lady reader? Please, and thank you. And I shall leave it up to the chef (writer) on if its romantic or platonic.
Have a nice day! āāÜ(ļ½”ā ź“ ā ļ½” )
Tf2 x fem!muscular reader
Masterlist
Thisā¦I love thisā¦.yes yesā¦
Also thank you!! You have a nice day too :]
Also ! There is a mix of platonic and romantic headcannons so any who want either can read!!
Before you joined
⢠I can imagine you were one of the later team members to arrive be it after everyone else has joined or when the team are all just meeting eachother
⢠when you showed up nobodu gaf you were a woman except scout who complained that this was a guys space until you came along (all lighthearted jokes!)
ā¢what caught their eye (except one merc) was you being an absolute UNIT.
⢠of course in these times (unless youāre Maggie or Australian) you just arenāt built like that. But even if you are Australian , you donāt get many built women like you around! Holy shit! Impressive!
⢠but you pretty easily meshed into the team. It wasnāt a big deal tbh
⢠heās your annoying best friend. Youāre more..approachable than heavy to put it nicely so youāre the one he comes to about dumb requests like crushing shit or throwing shit or anything he can totally do! Heās just making you do it for him! He can do it! Really!
⢠heās always had a thing for strength. Like the presence stronf people carry around with them even if theyāre the sweetest soul kind of has him being your little soldier
⢠tbough once randomly he did ask what was it like growing up beinf so badass (he just presumed you were just always on that grind)
⢠(ROMANTIC) ough heās your special little princess. PLEASE manhandle him. He will be on his knees begging for you to give him one date (yous have been dating for six months.)
⢠(ROMANTIC) heās a weak man to a strong woman. Literally the āme and my wife donāt argue she tells me to shut up and I doā
⢠you fit right in!
⢠you match their freak in a physical way that they adore. They ask you blatantly ask you if you want to join them in sparring naked with honey (yes thisnis platonic and romantic. They have no sense of shame.)
⢠Zhanna will especially annoy your company because another stronf woman! She loved to feel your muscles comparing them to hers!
⢠soldier , while beinf the āall American manā for his time period, he too is respecting and admiring you. The effort! Dedication! In this war there are no men and women! Only fellow soldiers against those commie bastards!
⢠(ROMANTIC) nothing much changes. They were already shameless. Before they developed feelings you were already ātheirsā in their heads because you were on their level (or they forced your to be-) but now you are DEFINITELY theirs.
⢠(ROMANTIC)you do get a little lenience from soldier , more touching from Zhanna and overall more praise and love from both of them!!
⢠very much like scout in that sense of admiration
⢠tbough they also love for you to pick them up and do dumb shit like throw them around to so tricks like strongmen do in the circus
⢠one days comes up to you practically bouncing up and down showing you a ābattle planā (a crayon drawing) of them on your shoulders as there are fire and bodies all around
⢠touchy little shit. Like they are always not feeling you up but gwtting you to flex so they can squish your bicep (they wouldnāt dare go further because they arenāt a perv!)
⢠(ROMANTIC) I lied. As soon as yous get intona relationship theyāre feeling up ALL your muscles okay. (With your permission ofc) idk man I just like to think of them having you laid in bed as they gush and giggle over your muscles not even in a sexual way
⢠(ROMANTIC) the team kinda thought for a while yous were already dating with how touchy they were, but Engie is the one who definitely lets the team know yous are in fact an item when he sees pyro drawing yous hugging and when they saw engie hiding it they hid it panicking like a 13 year old caught reading wattpad
⢠you are defo his ādesignated driverā type friend. Always inviting you out because on the rare occasion heās well and truly BLACKED OUT or just finds himself unable to walk you can pick him up and carry him (totally calls you his night in shining armour if you princess carry him)
⢠loves to admire you muscles. Does ask for some tips here and there if he notices heās lacking in some aspects of his physique!
⢠(ROMANTIC) Iāve always seen him as a pretty casual guy in relationships so nothing much changes but now he insists to be carried bridal style and he loves to just lean on you or find any excuse for you to use your strength on him-
⢠he LOVES to spar
⢠(STRICTLY PLATONIC) he sees you like a little sister. Even if youāre a grown women he still has a tendency to take you under his wing and make sure he can help you. Definitely has a soft spot for you
⢠he gives you tips on your workout routine or even jusy comments on it. Nothing malicious! He just wants you to keep up that monster strength you got on!!
⢠(ROMANTIC) he loves seeing you do things with your strength. If heās still stronger than you he still falls in love over your efforts like say in an arm wrestle . BUT on the occasion you do overpower him..honestly you could just see the respect and love practically break his brain-
⢠(ROMANTIC) loves , like I mean LOVES , when he sees you during a workout or post workout or even post battle, your muscles glistening..that look in your eye..you make him feel a kind of flustered heās never felt before
⢠wowā¦
⢠heās never seen a lady like you before.
⢠ofc the southern gentlemen has seen stronf women but you? Oh you⦠heās in awe.
⢠asks you about it! Like if youāve always been so strong or if there was something that motivated you to change or anything!
⢠heās got his robotic arm but whenever yous are hanging out he asks you to open the stronf stuff for him
⢠(ROMANTIC) please..please manhandle him. Like if heās working late and you manage to swing him into arms..he will fuss and try hot you to get out your grip but when you look at his face , he looks so frustratingly in love with you-
⢠(ROMANTIC) you to him are just so beautiful. He jokes how heās literally never met a girl like you. He honestly realises his type is just powerful and usually muscular people and you are just everything he never knew he needed
⢠woahā¦ā¦wowā¦.
⢠heās always been jealous of more muscular people. Due to his upbringing it did install a small insecurity. I mean imagine being surrounded by beefcakes and youāre the only one who is just not like them?
⢠so at first he doesnāt bother to really care , you do catch him staring a little sometimes but eventually he gets over the stupid feelings.
⢠honestly wants to work more with you. Would enjoy strategising so yous can help eachother get more kills!
⢠when yous get really close he definitely asks for a tip or two on working out. He isnāt planning to go proper hench but he still wants a tip or two up his sleeve
⢠(ROMANTIC) he does enjoy being at your mercy a little. Like if yous are ever in an argument and you do some sort of wild hand gesture and he focused on your hands and arms itās over. Heās sorry. Itās okay. (I jest ofc , he just decides to cool down)
⢠he considers you just a muscle heart at first like all his more bulkier teammates-
⢠he doesnāt really bother giving you the the time of day until you snap back a real whitty remark to him and he snaps his head towards you genuinely reconsidering every preconceived motion about you-
⢠makes little comments about your stature and how the strong looks suits you as a way to say āyou areā¦alright.ā
⢠(ROMANTIC) loves to trace your muscles whispering sweet nothings asking you if that strength translates to anywhere else that might be of value to himā¦
⢠as there are no other women on the team, congrats! You are now the only reference for womenās anatomy he has!
⢠he loves to compliment you on your strength and find ways to improve you. He is respectful and will take no for an answer if it gets too much though (an unwilling guinea pig is a bad test subject)
⢠despite having to recalibrate some treatments to work better for your body than his fellow males he treats you really no differently than them
⢠(ROMANTIC) like demo I donāt see him changing much behaviour wise once he is in a relationship but if you ever use your strength on him heās giggling and blushing and making notes (just writing how well his experiments are doing and also how much he loves you-)
may i rq a scenario with any of the mercs where they find reader injured when respawn's down. maybe bc of an accident or an ambush. i like angst as long as its ok in the end
HOLY SAXTON HALE ANON THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME!
This isn't explicitly romantic, but you could definitely interpret it as being romantic if you want! You're def the team's fave <3
Anyways, enjoy about 8400 words of hurt/comfort goodness and the Blu team being pathetic lil meow meow when they think you're dead dead.
Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction
ﮩ٨Łļ®©ļ®©ŁØŁā”ﮩ٨Łļ®©ļ®©ŁØŁ Hurt/Comfort | SFW | Cw: starvation, temp character death, excess drinking, animal death ﮩ٨Łļ®©ļ®©ŁØŁā”ﮩ٨Łļ®©ļ®©ŁØŁ
Featuring:
Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here!
Scenario: During the last few moments of a match, Blu team's Respawn Machine suddenly malfunctions, with you inside! Left reeling by the loss of their Chemist, the team attempts to cope. A week later, Miss Pauling receives a most unexpected phone call...
There had been no warning.
If there had been, then the sharp eyes of RED and BLUās Engineers would have certainly caught it. Unfortunately, the Respawn Machine had been just as reliable as ever for the entire match, bringing the mercenaries back from the great beyond time and time again, just as it had been designed to do.
Scout and Soldier had just been revived when it happened; the two men taking a moment to shake off the inevitable rush of nausea that came from going through the unholy machine. An Ubercharged Heavy had taken both them and their teammate, Y/N, known officially as the Chemist, out as the hulking giant made a final push to capture one of their points, and both BLU men knew it was only a matter of time before they heard the biting voice of the Administrator informing them of their failure.
Scout scuffed his sneaker against the concrete floor of the Respawn Room as Soldier launched into a furious rant, leaning against the wall as he waited for Y/N to come through, knowing that they'd been killed only a moment after him. He sighed when felt the gentle pulse of the machine as it vibrated like a speaker, getting ready to return his friend to the world of the living.
SKREEEEEECHHHH- BOOM!
A blast of hot air sent the two men crashing into the wall, stunning them momentarily. It was Soldier who regained his wits first, the BLU quickly pushing up his helmet and looking back at the source of the damage in shock and mounting horror.Ā
āAeughhhh⦠what da hell just happened?ā Scout moaned, one of his hands rubbing against his throbbing forehead. He blinked, his blurred vision slowly clearing, and as he regained his sight, his eyes began to widen.
Respawn was on fire.
Flames licked hungrily at the walls as they spread out further from the Respawn Machine, with the contraption itself bathed in white and blue hues, the intense heat making quick work of what hadn't been destroyed in the explosion. Shards of complex metals and pools of gleaming Australium were littered all over the room, reflecting the light of the fire.
āHOLY CRAP!ā Scout yelped, adrenaline coursing through his body as he attempted to scramble up off the floor.
His voice jolted Soldier out of his shocked state, and he shot a hand out to grab the back of Scout's shirt and yank him along as he made for the door.Ā
āEmergency! Cease fighting immediately!ā The Administrator's voice boomed out over the battlefield, the old woman's voice sounding more shocked than stern for once.Ā
Scout finally found his footing as he pulled out of Soldier's grip, spinning around to stare at the encroaching flames. Fear roiled in his gut like an angry serpent as his disoriented mind finally allowed the reality of their situation to sink in. Respawn was gone.Ā
Death was permanent once again.
āPrivate, this is no time to be standing around! We need to go!ā
They could die. For real.
āScout!ā
If they'd come through only a moment earlier, they wouldn't have come back at all.Ā
Waitā¦
āSolly, where's Chem?ā
Soldier paused in his attempt to drag Scout down the hall, his gaze snapping back towards Respawn. He hadn't seen them when he'd grabbed Scout, too focused on getting away from the rapidly approaching fire, but he'd assumed that they were right behind him.
āThey probably snuck past us! They're sneaky like that.ā he replied. That had to be it! Otherwise that would mean theyā¦
Scout looked down the hall, searching for any sign of the Chemist, before looking back towards Respawn, his face paling. He jerked forward, sprinting towards the blaze.Ā
āChem! Chem, hang on!ā Scout yelled, reaching the doorway in only a few seconds, his eyes desperately searching for where his friend could possibly be.Ā
The room was as empty as it had seemed before. There was no trace of the Chemist, alive or dead, to be found in the room.Ā
They hadn't made it through.
āWhat in the Sam Hill is goinā on here?!ā
Scout wrenched himself away from the door as he heard his teammates gasp behind him. Engineer was up by his side in an instant, his mechanical hand gripping the doorframe so hard it cracked the material. He pushed his goggles up, and Scout could see real fear in the other's eyes.
āVhat zhe hell happened? Zhe Respavn Machine vas fine only moments ago vhen I came through!ā Medic said, pausing as he looked at Scout, who was trembling. Gently, the doctor led the young man away from the fire, āScout? Are you alright? Vere you injured?ā
āChemās gone.ā was Scout's quiet reply.
āVhat?ā
āThey was supposeāta come through after me ān Solly, but Respawn went up in flames before they could come through.ā the runner's voice was shaky and hollow, and he leaned more of his weight against Medic as his legs started to feel less dependable than usual, āThey're gone. Like, gone gone.ā
The gathered mercenaries went quiet, the only sounds being that of the crackling flames and Scout and Soldier's laboured breathing.
āDAMN IT!ā Engineer bellowed, throwing his hard hat onto the ground, āGOD FUCKING DAMN IT!ā
Medic closed his eyes, bringing a gloved hand up to his face as a wave of grief crashed down on him. He'd been rather fond of their newest teammate, glad to have someone around who was as interested in risky experiments as he was. The Chemist had often taken up many of the smaller, more neglected duties around the base, such as cooking proper meals and making sure that Medic's less used medical supplies stayed topped up, in case of emergencies. They'd also been of great help in wrangling some of his more⦠problematic patients, using their charms (or stealth) to herd them into the Medbay for check ups or shots.
He watched them die every day, but this was different. This was permanent. The machine he and Engineer had worked so hard to build, the one that had allowed them to cheat death time and time again, had finally taken its pound of flesh. Y/N had been taken from them, from him, before he'd been ready to let them go.
Now, this usually wouldn't have been a problem; committing sins against both God and nature was something he did quite often and with great delight, and he was sure he could wrest Y/N back from the afterlife, provided that he had access to their body.
And therein lay the problem. There was no body. Respawn hadn't even spat them out half formed or thrown them into the flames, it had simply not reconstructed them. Whatever remained of the Chemist was likely nothing more than a partially formed mist of human remains that had burned up almost instantaneously.
The tenth class was no more, and there was nothing Medic could do.
āAw, hell,ā Engineer gritted out finally, looking back at his teammates with a tired, beatdown expression, āChrist, someone go ān track down a fire extinguisher. If we don't get this under control soon, we'll all end up dead.ā
Seeing an opportunity to both flee the horrific scene and be useful, Scout ran off like a bat out of Hell, skidding around a corner and disappearing from sight. Soldier, who was being uncharacteristically quiet and still, made to follow him, but Engineer stopped him before he could take more than a few steps.
āHold on, pardner. I need you to round everyone up and let āem know what- what happened.ā the southerner swallowed hard, trying his best to push down his emotions for the time being, āThe last thing we need right now is to lose someone else because someone did somthinā stupid and got themselves killed.ā
Soldier thought of how often Demo tested his equipment after their daily battles, especially after a loss, and stopped only long enough to give Engineer a salute before rushing off, determined not to lose any more teammates.
āGott, vhat a mess.ā Medic whispered hoarsely, mentally preparing himself for the utter shit show that was inevitably coming their way. The Chemist had been a friend to all of them, even to Spy, who pretended that he didn't care, and losing them was going to be hard on everyone.
Personal loss wasn't something the mercenaries were used to, lulled into a sense of security, of immortality, by the Respawn Machine. After all, why be afraid of death when you knew that you would be back in what felt like only an instant? None of them ever considered that Respawn might fail one day.
āCāmon, Doc. We can't stay here.ā Engineer said, leading his co-worker-turned-friend away from the fire.
āAck!āĀ
You yelped as you tumbled face first out of Respawn, hitting the floor hard and fast. You hissed in pain, pushing yourself up and rubbing a hand over your aching face. Instinctively, you check over the various vials of chemicals you have strapped to your person, praying that your odd tumble hasn't resulted in anything breaking.
A sigh of relief passes your lips as you determine nothing to be out of place or wrecked. You pulled yourself to your feet, stretching and cracking your knuckles. Christ, the RED Heavy must have gotten you good that time, because you felt just awful. Exhaustion made you slouch slightly, and your stomach ached something fierce.
After bracing yourself for the inevitable screech of the Administrator's voice telling you that you had failed, you allowed your eyes to fall open, expecting to see Scout and Soldier's sour faces.
An unfamiliar room greeted you, wooden planks replacing the expected concrete. Dust lingered around the space, and your only company was a chittering raccoon, which startled and ran off upon seeing you.
What the fuck was going on?
āHell-o?ā you called, confusing coloring your tone, āScout? Soldier? Anyone?ā
Silence greeted you. Not even the sound of gunfire and shouting could be heard, only the sound of a fierce wind blowing outside.
Thoroughly confused and more than a little creeped out, you stepped out of Respawn, head constantly swiveling about as you called for your teammates. However, no matter how much you yelled, no one ever responded. No matter how much you searched, you couldn't find anyone. No matter how much you listened, not a soul could be heard.
āWhat the fuck. What the fuck.ā you chanted, rubbing your arms. It was so cold here, and your outfit was designed for the New Mexico heat.Ā
Your breaths came in steamy puffs, and you could feel goosebumps prickling along your arms as you made your way towards what you hoped was the Intel Room. Whatever it was that was going on, you were too tired and too sore to try and puzzle it out. If this was some kind of elaborate prank, you were going to kill whoever was responsible, because the last thing you wanted to deal with after such a rough day was this creepy bullshit.
Finally, after a solid hour of getting lost within this bizarre, wintery base, you managed to find the Intel Room. A phone, blue in colour, sat mounted on the wall only a few feet away. Wasting no time, you dialed the number Miss Pauling had given you to use if there was ever an emergency, or if Engineer and Medic started spending too much time together again. (The last time they'd gone unchecked for too long, the base had become overrun by something they called Spycrabs. It took weeks for you and your team to get rid of them, though you were fairly certain both Spy and Pyro had managed to hide one to keep as a pet.)
āAperture Bakery, where the cake definitely isn't a lie! This is Tammy speaking, how can I help you?ā an obviously fake cheery voice greeted you after only two rings, and you smiled slightly.
āJesus, Pauling, I think that's your worst āwrong numberā persona yet.ā you groused, no real venom in your voice.
ā...Y/N?ā Miss Paulingās voice suddenly became very soft and disbelieving, something you'd never heard it do.
You frowned, your brow furrowing. āYeah, that's me, last I checked. I thought you were supposed to call me Chemist, though?ā
āHoly shit, you're alive?!ā she shouted, the volume causing you to pull back slightly, āHow are you alive?!āĀ
āUhhhhh,ā you stammered, completely at a loss as to how you were supposed to respond, āI⦠I breathe? And eat? And sleep? Jeez, Pauling, I don't know what you want from me here.ā
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, one that lasted so long, you began to worry Miss Pauling had hung up on you.
āHello?ā you tried.
āOh! Shoot, sorry, I'm still here! I just-ā there was a sound like papers being moved, āChemist, what is the last thing you remember?ā
āLosing the point and getting shot to pieces, why?ā Was this a test? Had you already failed somehow?
āRight, yeah, okay that makes sense.ā Miss Pauling took a deep breath, and you shifted uncomfortably, sensing that something was wrong.
āChemist, Y/N, you've been declared dead for just over a week now.āĀ
The phone slipped from your grasp, and it was only years worth of training and quick reflexes that kept it from smashing into the wall. You gripped the phone right, pressing it tightly into your ear as you spoke. āI'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right, Miss Pauling. Would you mind repeating that?ā
āYou were dead, Chemist. Something happened to BLUās Respawn Machine, and it was completely destroyed before you could come back. I- I don't know how or why it took so long for you to come back this time, but I'm so glad you did.ā
You all but collapsed onto the wall, your free hand tangling itself in your hair. You'd died? Like, died for real? The thought made your stomach turn, and you had to suppress the urge to vomit.
āPauling, Christ, I-ā you swallowed, breathing in through your nose, āIs everyone else okay? Oh God, please tell me no one else⦠died.ā
āNo, no, no! Everyone's- well they're not fine, but they're all alive. The Administrator called for an emergency ceasefire the minute she saw what happened, and both teams got the message pretty quickly that something was wrong. The ceasefire is still in effect, since everyone needs to be relocated to one of the other base locations.ā Miss Pauling replied.
You audibly sighed in relief, tension leaving your body as you uttered a soft āOh, thank God.ā āI think that's where I ended up. One of the other bases, I mean. It's fucking freezing here, Pauly.ā
āShit, you're that far out?ā Miss Pauling sucked in a breath through her teeth, āOkay, just- just stay put, alright? There's not going to be any supplies there, so just fine somewhere warm and try not to move too much. I'm going to come get you, okay?ā
āOkay.ā you replied, smiling slightly as you heard her immediately begin to gather various items on her desk, āThank you, Miss Pauling. I know you're busy.ā
āI'm never too busy for my mercenaries, especially when they manage to defy all logic and cheat death more than they usually do.ā a warm, fuzzy feeling settled in your chest at her words, and it remained even after you hung up. There was something so viscerally pleasing about being wanted, about having someone care for you.
Worn out from your return to the living world, you peeled yourself away from the wall and wandered around the base a bit, before locating what had to be the common room. A couch and a few chairs were tucked in around an unlit fireplace. There wasn't anything around to burn, and you didn't feel up to going out to find something suitable, so you chose instead to simply curl up on the couch. Once you laid down, it was as if all of your strength left your body. The aches and pains that plagued you became more apparent, and your stomach growled and gurgled loudly. You were starving, but as Miss Pauling had said, there was no food at the base, and you certainly weren't going to be able to hunt any animals that might be scuttling around.
Resigning yourself to a fitful sleep and an empty stomach, you closed your eyes and pressed yourself in closer to the back of the couch, slowly drifting off into a light slumber.
The BLU base had never been so quiet. It was not a calm quiet, like one might find if they walked into a library, or in a room full of people simply enjoying each other's company while they entertained themselves, but rather a tense, unnatural quiet. A mercenary base with nine men living in it should have been full of noise and movement, but each member of the BLU team seemed more than happy to break away from the norm today.
Engineer was holed up in his workshop, pouring over blueprints, both new and old, determined to find some flaw, some imperfection, some failure, that could give him an answer as to why the Respawn Machine had gone up in flames. He needed to find the problem so that he could fix it. He couldn't leave things as they were; everyone, even the RED team, once they'd found out what had happened, felt unsafe going through any of the Respawn Machines, since no one knew what exactly had gone wrong.
Medic was working himself to exhaustion right alongside him, while also fretting over packing up his birds and equipment on such short notice. They weren't due to rotate out to another base for another month, but the accident had pushed the timeline up to a few days. What's more is that he needed to review the applications for a new Chemist, though he'd been putting that particular task off for as long as possible. He'd never once needed to replace a teammate, nor had he ever expected to. The process of both finding someone who was Respawn compatible and willing to fight and die everyday was an arduous one indeed, and Medic could feel a stress induced migraine begin to come on whenever he even glanced at the paperwork.
Heavy had been trying his best to help Medic prepare for the move, but he, like everyone else, was feeling the effects of their friend's sudden death. He kept expecting to hear their voice coming from the kitchen, or to see them waltz through a door with some manner of bubbling condition held in their arms. Often, he caught himself setting out the supplies for two sandviches, only realizing his mistake when he had plated the food.Ā
Pyro had firmly planted themselves in the Chemist's room, taking special, delicate care to pack up their things into neat little boxes. When Medic had gently floated the idea of reusing their supplies for the next Chemist, Pyro had chased the doctor around the base with their fire axe. There were drawings of the two of them taped carefully to the wall, gifted to the Chemist by the resident firebug, and Pyro left them for last, wanting to keep pretending that they were simply packing up to move like the rest of them. When they'd nearly finished, Pyro noticed that the Chemist's uniforms, which had been folded up on their friend's bed, had mysteriously disappeared. They'd panicked for a moment, before the faint smell of cigarette smoke filtered through their mask.
Sure enough, the clothes were returned the following morning, freshly washed, dried, and without any wrinkles. Any and all holes or rips had been carefully hand stitched with expert precision. There was also a single rose lovingly tucked into one of the pockets on the outfit the Chemist wore most frequently.
Demo could often be found in the company of Soldier, sitting out on some roof or bridge, nursing his tenth or so bottle. Soldier didn't drink nearly as much, but when he inevitably did get drunk, only he and Demo knew about the few tears that would slip down his cheek. Neither acknowledged it, nor the sinking fear of having to inevitably go through Respawn again that sat like lead bullets in their guts.
Scout ran to ignore that same sense of fear and loss, to push it down into the deepest parts of himself. He ran from sunrise to sunset, pausing only when he absolutely needed to. Sometimes, when he would stop, panting and sweating and one small breeze away from toppling over, if he was in just the right spot at just the right time, he'd catch a glimpse of Sniper, tucked away on some far off cliffside or peering down from a tall, rickety building. The marksman hadn't been seen in the base proper since the accident, but he was always around somewhere, watching day and night to ensure nothing happened to his remaining teammates during the ceasefire.
So it was no wonder that it was him who first spotted a frantic looking Miss Pauling as she parked her scooter and dashed off towards one of the base entrances.
Curious, Sniper pushed himself up out of his hiding place, ignored the burning sensation that rippled through his taunt, stiff muscles, and started to make his way down to the base. He didn't make any attempt to soften his footsteps, but he also didn't call any attention to himself. The dark haired woman had been heading for Engineer's workshop, so that's where Sniper went.
Just before he could reach the door that led to the workshop, he collided with someone coming down the hall. He let out a quiet āoofā and stumbled back, baring his teeth instinctively when he saw an expensive suit and steely blue eyes. He calmed, however, when he saw that this Spy was dressed in his team's coloursĀ
āBushman.ā came Spy's snide greeting. The Frenchman eyed Sniper up and down, āYou look like shit.ā
āI could say the same for you, mate.ā Sniper sneered back, and he really could have.
There were heavy bags around Spy's eyes, and he smelled as though he'd been absolutely chewing through his expensive, imported cigarettes. Clearly, the man had been coping just as well as Sniper had.
āI'm shocked to see zhat you are no longer wallowing in your mobile hovel, or rolling around in zhe dirt, or whatever it is that you've been doing zhese days.ā Spy raised a brow, āWhat has brought you back to zhis cheap imitation of civilization?ā
Now, normally, this would be the point in their conversation where Sniper would tell Spy to not-so-kindly fuck off, but the Australian was running on coffee and will, and Spy was good at getting information. If Miss Paulingās sudden appearance was supposed to be a secret, then Spy would be Sniperās first choice for a partner in crime.
āMiss Pauling just showed up lookinā real frazzled, and I want to know why. I didn't get any alerts or messages, did you?ā Sniper asked.
Spy pursed his lips. āNon, I did not.ā
Both men's gazes flicked towards the workshop door, and before either could contemplate if this was a good idea or not, Spy had cloaked and Sniper was pushing the door open slowly. A conversation came into earshot as the door opened silently.
āEngie! Thank God you're here!ā
āMiss Pauling? What are you doinā here?ā
āThere's no time, I need to borrow your truck!ā
āWhu- mah truck? What for?ā
āListen, I need to get up North. Fast. And my scooter isn't going to cut it for this trip. Also, I think I might need that emergency dispenser you guys built a while back.ā
Sniper's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. Miss Pauling did many things to people, but healing them wasn't something he'd ever heard of her doing.
āWell, now, see that there dispenser is still a prototype. It ain't ready for fieldwork yet- HEY!ā
āSorry Engie! Look, I promise I will bring the truck and the dispenser back, but I really need to get going! If this works, I'll bring back something that will make up for all of this.ā
āAnd just what the hell would that be?!ā
āYour Chemist!ā
Sniper jolted, his body moving faster than his mind, which was still struggling to understand what he'd just heard. He gripped the guardrails that overlooked the lower floor, arriving just in time to see Miss Pauling putting the pedal to the metal and hauling ass out of the workshop in Engineer's truck. Engineer himself was standing stock still on the workshop floor, hand still raised mid gesture.
A set of hands suddenly grabbed Sniper by the shoulders and spun him around. Spy was staring at him, eyes alight in a way Sniper hadn't seen in a long time.
āBushman, you can fit at least four people in your disgusting van, yes?ā the man asked, squeezing harder when Sniper's mouth failed to make words come out, āWell?!ā
āEh- ur- yeah mate, that's right.ā Sniper nodded finally, still reeling from the idea that Chemist might still be alive, āWhat's it to ya, Spook?ā
āGather up Soldier, Heavy, and Demo. I will take Medic, Scout, Pyro and Engineer in my car. We need to get going immediately if we want any chance of catching up to Miss Pauling!ā he exclaimed.
Sniper's eyes widened as he understood what Spy was saying. The Frenchman wanted to follow Miss Pauling, to see their supposedly not dead teammate for himself, and he knew the rest of them well enough to know that if they didn't take them along, then the others would find their own way to them. That, or they'd simply destroy the base if left alone for too long, and Sniper was willing to bet that Spy didn't want to risk Pyro or Soldier destroying his precious suit collection.
āStill,ā Sniper mused, āItās nice to see that Spook cares about our feelings, even if it is mostly for āis benefit.ā
āRight, I'll go round up the boys. You focus on snappān Engie outta his stupor, yeah?ā Sniper agreed.
Spy nodded, and the two separated, with Sniper wasting no time in flying back down the hall. Obsessively stalking- er, observing everyone over the course of the week had granted him a decent understanding of where they chose to spend their time while in mourning.
Heavy and Medic were up first, and Sniper knew exactly where they'd be. With a swift kick, he burst into the Medbay, startling both the pair and all of the birds.
āAugh! Herr Sniper, vhat do you think you're doing, barging in here like-ā Medic started, but Sniper cut him off.
āCan it, Doc! Pauling was just āere, and she says Y/N is alive!ā Sniper exclaimed. The other two men's eyes widened, and Medic almost dropped the glass beaker he was holding. āShe sped off a moment ago, and we're gonna follow āer. Spy's taking you, Scooter, Engie and Py in āis car, while I'm takinā the rest.ā
The dynamic duo shook off their shock and nodded.
āHeavy will grab Soldier and Demolitions. Leetle Sniper will find Pyro in their room.ā Heavy paused, then fixed Sniper with a stern look. āBe very careful how you tell news. Fire starter has⦠not been taking loss well. May attack, if they think you are playing joke.ā
Sniper gulped quietly. āThink we should hold off on tellinā them why we're really leaving?ā
Medic shook his head quickly. āNien. Zhough it is not alvays apparent, Pyro is quite intelligent. Lying to zhem about zhis will not end well for any of us.ā
The marksman winced, remembering the feeling of fire blasting across his skin. āToo right. Okay, I'll handle Pyro, and Heavyās gettinā the drunk bastards. Hopefully they can sober up a bit, because I do not want those two sicking up in my van.ā
Suddenly, a thought came to him.
āOh, and bring yer Medigun. Miss Pauling mentioned something about needān the emergency dispenser, but Engie didn't seem too confident that it would work.ā
Medic's face crumpled up in distress. āAnd he shouldn't be! Zhat machine is just as likely to kill both zhe Chemist and Frauline Pauling as it is to heal zhem.ā
āShit.ā Sniper swore, āWe better be quick, then.ā
The three men scattered, each one going in a different direction. Sniper hauled ass towards the barracks, eyes flicking to the different class symbols that marked each of the doors. He had only ever been here once, but picking out the little blue and yellow picture of a bubbling vial was easy enough.
He skidded to a stop before the door, taking a second to rap his knuckles against the wood before pushing the door open.Ā
Pyro was where Heavy had said they would be, sitting on their friend's neatly made bed, their stuffed Balloonicorn clasped tightly in their grip as they rocked slightly. Pyro tilted their head at Sniper, communicating their confusion at the man's sudden appearance.
āCāmon, matchstick. We gotta get going right quick now.ā Sniper panted, motioning for Pyro to follow, āMiss Pauling was just here, and she seems pretty damn convinced that our Chemist isn't as dead as we all thought.ā
Pyro stilled on the bed, their masked face staring right into Sniper's soul. The Australian licked his chapped lips, feeling a sense of unease creep across the nape of his neck. After a moment of relative silence, Pyro seemed to find no deception in his words, and quickly leapt up, pausing only to grab their axe and holster it on their back.
āHuddah huddah huddah!ā They yelled, voice muffled by the mask. A thick rubber glove suddenly gripped Sniper's vest, and the marksman found himself getting dragged along towards an exit.
Barely able to keep up with Pyroās quick stride, Sniper stumbled a bit, all but crashing into the firebug when the large door before them slid open.Ā
āLet's go, let's go, let's go!ā Scout's voice carried across the desert base as the young man practically flew towards the workshop, clearly having been told the news, āPy, Snipes, let's friggin hustle! We got places to be, ya bunch a slowasses!ā
āPiss off, ya bloody roadrunner! We're goinā as fast as we can!ā Sniper shot back, no real venom in his voice. He knew that Scout had been hit hard by the loss of their teammate, especially since he and Soldier had been the last ones to see them. The kid was more sensitive then the rest of them, especially when it came to someone he cared about dying
Scout slowed ever so slightly, just enough to grab ahold of Pyro's hand. The runner and the arsonist took off together to where Spy was waiting, and Sniper deviated off towards his van.
Heavy was already waiting for him when he arrived, the hulking giant holding both Soldier and Demo over his shoulders. The two had clearly had more to drink than usual, because neither of them were conscious. Sniper contemplated waking them for a moment; this was important after all, and he knew neither man would want to be left out of the loop.
And then he considered how completely insufferable the duo would be if they were awake, and he simply nodded towards the back of the van as he moved to sit in the driver's seat.
Heavy joined him a few moments later, and they were off, speeding down a dusty New Mexico road. Spy's expensive, gleaming vehicle was tearing down the same road as them, the light of the gradually setting sun bouncing off the well maintained blue paint job. He'd told Sniper the name once, while also threatening to gut the marksman if he so much as stepped near the vehicle, but Sniper couldn't be bothered to memorize it.
Sniper had thought that Spy wouldn't ever dare go as fast as he was now, what with all the potholes and tumbleweeds around that could potentially damage the Frenchman's precious ride, but perhaps he'd underestimated how much losing the Chemist had weighed on their most elusive teammate. Spy, for all his aloofness, did occasionally let slip the fact that he actually liked his teammates. Sometimes. Rarely. And usually in some strange, hard to interpret way.
He saw Scout's head pop out of one of the backseat windows, and the lad raised a hand to shield his eyes, like he was trying to see something in the distance. He must have spotted something other than desert, because he pointed towards an upcoming side road before popping back inside.
Sure enough, the car skidded around the corner, and Sniper followed, squinting his own eyes in an attempt to see what Scout had been pointing at.
Tire tracks marred the road, ones that hadn't been caused by Spy's quick turn, but that were also very recent. Sniper grinned and pressed harder on the gas, accelerating until he was only a few feet behind the other vehicle.Ā
He'd never had a target escape before, and Miss Pauling wasn't about to make him break that streak.
Cold.
You were so cold.
You'd awoken to the sound of your teeth chattering, the sound only made worse when another wave of ripples inevitably wracked your prone form. Each breath came as a gasping wheeze, catching on the film of phlegm that had made a home in your throat and chest. Your stomach felt almost alive in your guts, spitting acid on your sensitive middle as it growled and snarled and roared for food that you couldn't give it.Ā
You tried to get up, but your body began to shake and wobble dangerously as you began putting pressure on your forearm. Apparently, all your energy had been diverted to shivering in a, perhaps futile, attempt to keep your internal organs from freezing over. Breathing out a puff of warm air, you slid your hands over your chest and stomach, eyes widening as you realized that something was deeply, deeply wrong.
Gone was your well earned muscles and insulating body fat. You felt dangerously thin, like a starved greyhound. Whatever dark magic and science pulled you back from death had seemingly lost most of your fat and muscle reserves in the process. Truly, it was a miracle that you'd been able to walk at all!
You were in a bad spot, and you weren't sure Respawn would be able to save you again, should the worst happen. After all, no merc had ever starved to death before, and you had no idea what would happen if you did.Ā
āThatās not going to happen.ā You tried to reassure yourself, āPauling will come to get me.ā
How long had you been asleep? It hadn't felt like long, but there were no windows in this common room, and it wasn't as though you could rely on your stomach to tell you that a great deal of time had passed.
With little else to do, you lay your head back down on the cold couch cushions, attempting to curl up closer to the plush, velvety fabric. You tucked your arms into your armpits and folded your knees up close to your chest as you shivered once again. You'd lost feeling in your toes and fingers, but you could still, with great difficulty, wiggle them, which you counted as a win. Your eyes slipped shut as you turned your face down towards your chest, nose buried in the fabric of your uniform in a desperate attempt to seek out any scrap of warmth.
Sleep came easy enough, but it was far from a peaceful rest. Nightmares of endless darkness and being reborn wrong plagued your mind. You woke frequently, but exhaustion dragged you back into unconsciousness just as quickly. Each time you awoke, you were reminded of just how hungry you were, and the urge to gnaw at your own dangerously thin arms grew in intensity. Thirst plagued you as well, and each time your failing mind allowed it, you licked desperately at the inside of your mouth, trying to acquire some moisture for your sandpaper-esque throat.
On your next return to the waking world, as you stared out towards the door that led to the hallway, contemplating drinking one of your fatal mixtures, if only to end your suffering and quicken your return to Respawn, a sound echoed out into the lonely building. You lifted your head, blearily squinting towards the door. Had that been real? Or simply an illusion, a trick crafted by your starved brain?
āChem? Chem, can you hear me?!ā
Miss Pauling.
She did come for you!
You grinned, the action pulling at your chapped lips. You tried to call out, but all you managed was a slight cough. Huffing, you flopped your head back down, eyes locked on the door. You knew that she knew where the phone was in this place; there was no way someone like Miss Pauling didnāt know the ins and outs of every place her mercs set up shop in, so it was only a matter of time before she found you.
Sure enough, after a few minutes passed you began to hear footsteps pounding down the hall. It wasnāt the heavy, familiar footfalls of your team, but rather a lighter, quieter sound. A blurry purple figure entered your field of vision, and after your eyes finally focused, you saw a disheveled, red-cheeked Miss Pauling standing before you.
āHey there, stranger.ā You rasped, wincing slightly when you felt hands suddenly cup your cheeks. Paulingās hands were warm and slightly calloused, and you blinked slowly, leaning into her touch.
āJesus Christ, Chem. You never do anything by halves, huh?ā Pauling laughed, though the noise came out more like a sob.
āCan't. I wouldn't be a very good Chemist if I did, right?ā You joked softly, your eyelids drooping slowly as you began to relax, āThingsād be spillinā all over the place.ā
āWoah, hey!ā A series of quick, rapid taps against your cheeks made you open your eyes again, āStay awake, okay? You're in rough shape, but I brought- well, stole but that's really not important- Engie's truck and his little mini dispenser thing-ā
āYou stole Engieās truck?ā You interrupted, voice tinged with a sense of horrified awe, āHe's gonna kill you.ā
The raven haired woman gave you a half smile as she reached an arm under you, pulling you up to your feet to stand beside her. Your vision swam, and you had to lean heavily into her.
āI think bringing you back will soften him up a bit.ā She said, looping your arm around her shoulders, āCome on, let's get you to the truck. You look like you're about to pass out.ā
āI might.ā You admitted. āGot anything to eat? I'm starving.ā
Miss Pauling glanced over your emaciated form. āThat⦠actually might be the case. When Respawn brings someone back, it usually leaves them feeling a little bit drained, and it's why you're all so hungry at the end of a battle. Respawning takes energy, and I'd say this last trip took almost all of yours. It ate right through your fat and muscle reserves!ā
āAh,ā You replied, āI was afraid that might be the case. What happens if I Respawn again?ā
āIt's⦠it's probably best if we don't test that out.ā
The two of you walked through the base in silence after that, with you leaning heavily on Miss Pauling for support. She didn't seem to mind, however; though you often caught her casting worried glances at you. You felt the temperature in the air steadily drop as you reached the entrance to the base, yet you were still caught off guard when a chilly blast of wintry air smacked you in the face. Snow swirled all around you, coating the base and battlefield in white. The first rays of an early morning sunrise were just starting to peak over the horizon, giving you enough light to see by.
In the distance, you could see Engie's truck, the blue vehicle standing out amidst the white. However, something seemed⦠off about the truck. You squinted, trying to figure out what was wrong.
āHey P, did you bring a⦠a dog with you?ā You mumbled, tilting your head at the canine shape that stood in the headlights.
āWhat?ā Miss Pauling looked confused for a moment, before she, too, saw the creature. āWhat is⦠uh oh.ā
āUh oh? Why uh oh?ā You questioned, before taking a closer look at the dog, which was now slowly moving towards the two of you.
Oh.
Uh oh indeed.
It wasn't a dog.
It was a wolf.
The beast was huge, with a thick, ungroomed black coat and amber eyes that glowed a bright, golden color in the early morning. It growled as it approached, and you could see saliva frothing at its mouth.
āOh, you have got to be kidding me.ā You balked, stumbling as Miss Pauling pulled you both back, āA rabid wolf. Why not!ā
āHow did it even contract rabies all the way out here?!ā Miss Pauling yelped, quickly drawing her pistol. You eyed the small gun, wondering if she could aim well enough to shoot the hulking animal with your dead weight hanging off her.
Left with no other options, you weakly pawed at your coat, trying to locate something that could help you fight off the rabid beast. You had all the ingredients needed to make something truly dangerous, but if you tried to mix them now, you'd just as likely make something that would kill you before the wolf could.
Grabbing something that would at least blind the animal, you braced yourself as best you could, ready to try and help Miss Pauling fight.
āINCOMING!ā
You, Miss Pauling, and the wolf all turned your heads as one, eyes widening when Sniper's van suddenly emerged from the snowstorm like the chariot of an angry Australian god. The vehicle slammed into the wolf, sending it flying out of sight. A few seconds later, an expensive looking car skidded to a stop a few feet away, one of the back doors opening before the car could even fully stop.Ā
Scout came barreling out first, slipping on the snow and ice as he tried to regain his balance. Sniper, Heavy, and Spy followed suit, with the other's appearing behind them. They all looked absolutely horrendous; their eye bags had eye bags, Soldier and Sniper clearly needed to shave, and none of them were even remotely dressed for the cold weather of the north.
But they had never looked better to you.
Scout spotted you first, and you hardly had time to blink before the Bostonian was upon you, yanking you out of Miss Pauling's hold and into his arms.
āYou're alive! Holy crap you're alive!ā Scout cried, spinning you around and pressing his face into your shoulder.
Pyro joined you next, the arsonist all but smothering both you and Scout as they sobbed. You patted their back, leaning into their warm suit, attempting to leech their abundant body heat.
Before you could get a word out, a fierce yell startled you into a defensive stance. Suddenly, you were being held up by your armpits and being shook like a maraca.
āDO NOT PULL SUCH A STUNT AGAIN, MAGGOT!ā Soldier yelled angrily, but you caught a glimpse of wet eyes under his helmet, āIF YOU DIE LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY RIP YOUR YELLOW-BELLIED SOUL RIGHT OUT OF HELL!ā
āSol, put them down, consarnit!ā Engineer chided, smacking Soldier in the side. Once the helmeted man set you back down onto the ground, Engineer pulled you into a warm, firm hug, his flesh hand coming to rest on the back of your neck.
āHey Engie.ā You murmured softly, āDonāt be mad at Miss P, okay?ā
āBuddy, ahām gonna be treatinā her to a steak dinner after this.ā he chuckled, before gently passing you over to someone else, āHere, Demo. Be careful with āem. They aināt lookinā too good right now.ā
āAye, ya look like shite, dontācha?ā Demo laughed softly, gently ruffling your hair before pulling you into a hug, tucking you under his chin. āAh, Iām glad yer alright. Ye gave us a right scare, ya wee bastard!ā
āSorry.ā You chuckled, leaning into his chest. Demo patted your shoulder, before you were released and spun around to see Medic, Heavy, Spy and Sniper. While Heavy lifted you up into one arm, Miss Pauline began questioning how the mercenaries had found out where you and her were.
Medic descended upon you like a mother hen, fretting about the poor state you were in while simultaneously raving about the unexplored limits of the Respawn Machines. He plucked a few tablets out of a bottle in one of his coat pockets, instructing you to swallow, not chew them as Sniper handed you a well worn thermos. It was warm, and when you opened the lid, the smell of coffee hit your nose. A quick sip revealed that it was made just how you liked, which made you smile, because it meant that the usually unsociable marksman had gone out of his way to make the drink specifically for you.
āHere, mon ami,ā Spy strode forward, a blanket draped over his arm. He wrapped it around your shoulders gently, tucking it in tightly, almost like your parents would do for you when you were small, āthis should warm you up a bit.ā
The tenderness of your usually tough, rowdy teammates made you sniffle, and you snuggled in closer to Heavy, clutching your thermos.
āI love you guys.ā You said, your voice wavering with emotion, rather than cold this time, āSeriously. I- there isnāt a better team out there.ā
Your praise made the gathered men puff up slightly. It was clear your opinion mattered a great deal to them.
āHell yeah! Weāre daā freakinā best!ā Scout shouted.
āLeetle Chemist is included in that.ā Heavy added, and you blushed slightly.
āHeavy is right, mein Chemiker.ā Medic agreed, āJou have cheated Death more zhen anyone else before jou! It is truly amazing!ā
āI donāt feel amazing.ā You said, quickly sipping the offered coffee.
āVell, you are severely malnutritioned, so I am not surprised.ā Medic replied. āAh, donāt drink zhat so fast. Jouāll just zhrow it back up.āĀ
Once the word āmalnutritionedā passed the doctorās lips, you could practically hear Engineerās ears perk up. You were sure many home cooked meals with Engie in his workshop were in your future.
āCome on, mate, letās get emā outta the cold, yeah?ā Sniper suggested to Heavy, gesturing towards his van. Spy snorted.
āPlease, you want to have our dear Chemist rest in zhat thing? The last thing zhey need is to be surrounded by piss and crocodile jerky.ā he snarked, which drew a disgruntled sneer from Sniper.
āOi! My van is perfectly clean, and its leagues bettah than your dinky lilā car! You just wanna hog all their attention ācause youāre a needy, selfish buggah!ā Sniper shot back.
Heavy sighed deeply as the two men started arguing, before looking down at you.
āHeavy thinks it would be best for leetle Chemist to ride with Engineer in his truck for now. Team is very excited you are alive, and this makes them act-ā the two of you winced as Soldier started yelling again, āmore like loud idiots than usual, Га?ā
āAt this point, big guy, Iād welcome the noise.ā You admitted, āIt was⦠quiet here. And lonely.ā
Heavy looked at you with a saddened expression. āHow long were you alone for?ā
āA⦠a day, I think. It was hard to tell, since there were no windows.ā You glanced over in the direction the wolf had been flung. āHonestly, that might have been for the best, considering what was waiting out here for me and Miss Pauling when we finally got outside.ā
āWas wolf, yes? Heavy could not see very well, but it looked like wolf.ā The heavy weapons expert said as he started off towards Engineerās truck.
āYeah, it was a wolf. A rabid one. You guys showed up just in time. I was afraid it would get close enough to bite us.ā You shivered, pulling your blanket in closer.
āMiss Pauling would not have allowed that. She is small woman, yes, but very fierce.ā Heavy paused for a moment, looked over at Scout and Soldier, who were talking to Miss Pauling, then leaned in to whisper: āShe is better shot than some of the team. Do not tell them I said this.ā
āDonāt worry, I wonāt say a word.ā You winked as Heavy gently set you down in the passenger seat, careful not to jostle you. The seat was still warm from the heater, and you relished in it, almost not even noticing when Engineer slipped into the driverās seat next to you.Ā
āBuckle up, darlā.ā He grinned, reaching to pull the seat belt over your chest.
āThanks, Engie.ā You returned his smile and lay back, resting your head against your seat belt.Ā
As you got comfortable, you noticed that the truck had an extra few passengers. Pyro waved to you from the back as both Soldier and Scout climbed up into the bed. Both men looked visibly cold, but they stubbornly plonked themselves down, dead set on staying near you. Just in case.
Spy and Sniper finally stopped squabbling when they realized that you were no longer around to fight over, and both slunk back to their respective vehicles as Engineer started up his truck. Miss Pauling and Medic followed Spy, while Demo and Heavy trailed after Sniper. Knowing your team, there would be another fight the second you all stopped for gas or food, likely over who you should sit with for the rest of the drive back. Honestly, it was like being back in school, surrounded by a friend group of mentally ill lunatics who fought like spoiled dogs for your attention.
You wouldnāt change a thing. You were, after all, just as needy and clingy as the rest of them, and you knew youād be even more desperate to be near someone all the time, afraid to be back in that horrid silence.
How wonderful for you, then, that you had 8 men, 1 woman, and 1 Pyro who would be more than happy to indulge you.
headcanons on how the mercs would react to giving reader a belly bulge ?
is my size difference kink apparent with this ask
gn pronouns with afab reader if possible
a/n: ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVEEEEEEE. Heavy, Engineer and Demoman for now, But I'll probs do the rest soon!
Heavy, Engineer and Demoman reaction to a belly bulge.
Heavy
ā„ Heavy already knew this would happen. He knows his side and he knew that he was going to cause a bulge. ā„ But fuck was it different to actually see...Seeing your smaller frame struggling to take him sent him wild. ā„ The two of you finally had time alone together after the busy schedules the two of you had. You were an assistant to the administrator and you finally had time to be intimate with your partner. ā„ You didn't want him to be gentle either, despite the eyebrow raise and his concern for you.
"are you sure about this? I do not want to hurt you." "Mik...baby, after the day I just had..I need it."
ā„It would boost his ego a little more, even though he knows he'd cause one. ā„"You take it so good. Tell me how good it feels for you." ā„ definition of size kink just has a picture of heavy beside it lmao-
Engineer.
ā„ Talk about a man nearly about to lose his shit-. ā„ Engineer likes to be very intune with you when it comes to sex, he like to ask you if you alright and make sure you feel as good as he is. ā„ You would bring it to his attention, moving his hand to feel the lower part of your stomach. ā„ he would feel it and look down, before a deep groan would leave his mouth. He wouldn't be able to control himself.
"S-shit..look of you darl'..look at that..shit.." "takin' my cock like you were made for it.."
ā„ Oh yea, be prepared to be fucked silly by him so he can see it more. Bottoming out repeatedly so he could hear your moans and feel how deep he could get inside you. ā„ Definitely leans into the breeding kink this man has, even if he can't get you pregnant he is going to make sure you feel full of him.
Demoman
ā„ Another one that would boost his ego. ā„ He wouldn't notice it at first, he knew he was pretty big compared to you. and he would chuckle as he watched you struggle to walk or sit down the next day after the two of you go at it. ā„ It would be one day you would be riding him, his hands would be on your hips, running them across your lower stomach as he would buck up into you. when sudden he would stop. ā„you were confused at first until he runs his hand along the bulge, moving slowly so he could see it move. ā„ It unlocked something in his mind, suddenly you would find yourself on your back, and Tavish would start moving faster than he ever did before, On top of getting to hear your sweet sounds he got to see what it did to you.
"seeing me..so deep in you..hope you don't have anything planned.." "Cause i'm not lettin' ya up from this bed.."
Hi everyone!! I missed writing for you all!! I apologize if this is not as good as my previous writing as i am trying to get back into the swing of writing! Enjoy!!
How Much I Would Trust the People of TF2 at Pools with Me and How Much You Should Trust Them Too
I'm a lifeguard, lifeguard instructor and swim instructor you should definitely trust me
Reblogs are appreciated!!
Scout
6/10
I think he can swim surprisingly well. Like, not any actual stroke but he can stay alive in water.
Going to start splash wars. It's a mess. He will also play chicken with people and cheat while doing so.
Yeah he brings a lot of diving toys. Good luck. Fails to bring goggles and complains about chlorine in his eyes. Bit of a mess innit.
DOES NOT WEAR SUNSCREEN and gets burnt. Badly. He will be complaining about it for DAYS after the fact.
Soldier
5/10
Jane can absolutely swim. Just not... gracefully.
Acts a lot like those dogs that jump on their owners thinking they're drowning and just wants to help.
Will have a cannonball contest only if you say it's in the good of America.
Does enjoy 4th of July pool parties and LOVES flamingo and donut floaties. He and Zhanna like to rest on them together.
Pyro
2/10
Pyro doesn't really like swimming but isn't like, a hater of water.
Pyro would definitely hang out on the side and dip their feet in the water, kicking every now and then.
Usually naps in a lawn chair. Or, if on a beach, they'll build sandcastles and have lots of fun.
Sometimes will rest on a floatie. Likes water wings (water wings aren't safe). Likes sun bathing (plz make them wear sunscreen anyways).
Demoman
8/10
Literal selkie. I'm being so fr. He's a literal sea captain so. Man loves water.
Only reason he's an 8/10 is bc he likes to drink while lounging on the side of the pool and might need to be rescued at one point or another.
BUT he's really fun to play games with. Will jump in and have splash contests just as much as he wants to nap while laying on a floatie.
He will tell you nautical tales and legends from around the world. Great storyteller, and amazing at weaving tales of merfolk.
Heavy
9/10
makes sure everyone is wearing sunscreen and that the sunscreen is reapplied at safe intervals.
Likes to wear sunglasses and lounge around for a bit, but will actually legitimately swim. His breaststroke is actually pretty good. Butterfly is debatable.
He's going to keep tabs on everyone in the pool to make sure they're safe and not drowning.
He will also have a great BBQ. Mans the grill, doesn't let anyone touch it except for Dell, and Zhanna, He will NOT let Jane touch the grill.
Engineer
8/10
This is because he's really not swimming, more so of like, wading in the water with a cold beer in his hand but he's like your cool dad that hangs out and gets a bunch of cool stuff for the pool.
He's the one that buys or makes all the super cool floaties for the pool.
He also has towels and stuff ready for everyone. Does not want ANYONE dripping in the house so please dry off.
He will play his guitar at some point during the night after everyone's had their fun and light a fire for s'more purposes.
Medic
5/10
He's a menace in the pool. Surprisingly nimble in the water but like, a water snake or a shark, not a dolphin. He is not beneficial.
He asked to check the chlorine levels or check himself. Not because he actually cares, but because he wants to gross everyone else out.
He LOVES scaring people when in the water. He will jump up and climb up on you, and make everything hell for you.
If he isn't scaring you in the water and Jeremy isn't trying to drown him, he'll hang around the side of the pool sipping on cocktails and beer sunbathing like a lizard. This, after everyone's hounded him for wearing several layers of sunscreen.
Sniper
7/10
He's also a water dweller. He and Tavish spend a lot of time together talking in the shallow end about little myths and legends, and even have little races.
He's a very good swimmer. HIs fly is good, can't say the same for backstroke.
Water is like one of the only places he's not awkward because it's so comfortable to him. He has quite a few fond memories of his parents hanging around in the pool with him, tossing coins downwards so he could pick them up and even his father teaching him to swim.
He's a 7 out of 10 because he doesn't listen to anyone when they tell him to put more sunscreen on and he doesn't and gets BURNED.
Spy
4/10
He does not get in the water. Wears a speedo and it makes everyone uncomfortable and the balaclava but that's whatever.
He DOES wear sunscreen. Still wants to sun tan and even has a timer so he knows how long each side of him actually gets. Has sunglasses, listens to the music, and generally enjoys his time alone from everyone but also surrounded by them.
This does not stop Jeremy from splashing the ever loving hell out of him. Jeremy makes it a personal mission to mess with him.
He does end up having a water gun and does shoot Jeremy in the face with it MULTIPLE times. Might even raise his score to 10/10 tbh.
Miss Pauling
6/10
Yeah she's not getting in the water unless someone spends quite some time getting her in. She DOES know how to swim, and I think as a teen she was actually a lifeguard! but her relationship with the Administrator overworking her means she doesn't want to do ANYTHING.
I mean, she stays perpetually busy so it's everyone's personal mission to keep her phone away from her and tell the Administrator to bug off and leave her alone. So, when that happens you get her to rest on pool donuts.
She also sunbathes, but doesn't tan at all. She does cover herself in sun screen and wears a cute sun hat.
Her idea of having a nice time at the pool is with some iced tea, a good book, and enjoying the beautiful weather. She gets exactly that, minus Jeremy flirting with her, to which Spy will squirt him in the face again with his water gun.
Saxton Hale
-2/10
It's his pool everyone is using but that man makes everyone sign their soul to get in.
No one actually signs, just uses random google generated names and he can't be BOTHERED to check.
Mags also burns the contracts of anyone who actually signed. She thinks it's ridiculous that Saxton would even do that.
That said, he's not even AT the pool when everyone else is there because he can't be bothered. He wants to punch sharks. Mags will show up in a sun hat and bring a cooler of beer. She's the real 10/10.
The Administrator
-100/10
She does NOT show up. But if you manage to get her in, she hides in the shadows and hisses at the sun like a vampire.
She does NOT stop bothering Miss Pauling. Complains the whole time she's there.
She sneaks out at some point to get drunk somewhere else because everyone here was too 'low class' for her.
I don't like this woman. Stop inviting her to the party.
Zhanna
9/10
She's on the grill with Dell and they're a GREAT team together. She manages to cook everything so perfectly, people prefer her stuff to everyone else's.
She does better cannonballs than Jane. She's also a very graceful swimmer. Probably knows how to do some very basic artistic swimming skills, which she can teach you if you ask.
She likes to sunbathe as well, and likes to read as she does. I think she actually spends a lot of time with Miss Pauling, both of them resting together and enjoying the sun.
She will also drown Jeremy for him being a little shit around everyone else.
Merasmus
10/10
He summons mermaids.
What more can I say.
hi hi can I get uhhh
can we have the reaction of the mercs (or rather, those of your choosing) if Reader has a nightmare and comes to them for comfort/help? Iām a sucker for nightmare comfort and I love your headcanons sm so Iād love to see your interpretation of this :)
Edward A/N: ofcc!! i recently had a bad dream so this is also somewhat self indulgent, tyy for requesting n also the kind words!! :D
ALSO im willing to do a part two to this if yall would like! feel free to give any ideas for engineers part, as hes the main one im struggling writing this for </3 (i have ideas for every1 else already)
daily reminder tf2 reqs r open!!
CW: mention of medications, canon typical violence, written accents, one immature joke (haha benis), alcohol mentioned, demoman is the only one thats strictly romantic (and heavys is leaning much towards platonic), lmk if i need to add more!
WORD COUNT: 400+
Well, it's a great thing you went to him for comfort; he never has nightmares! He's just that masculine and strong and confident, so don't even worry! He'll protect you against all those silly fears you have going on in your head.
His form of comfort is distraction, so be ready for a night full of reading comic books and causing mischief!
"Wha- now who told you I can't read, huh?! I can read fine! In fact, I bet I can read better than you!"
"Jeremy, you're holding that comic upside down."
"I know that! It was just a test."
He doesn't often sleep, and the few times he does it's with his eyes open. Not in a joking way either, he's just one of those people that can be deep in REM sleep while standing straight up with their eyes open.
His form of comfort is medications as he sees things through a scientific lens at first, but if you'd like he's open to talking you through whatever nightmares you've been having. He actually knows quite a bit about psychology!
"Vell, vhy are you scared of it?"
"Because... I dunno, it just puts so much fear in me."
"Fear is just something zhat holds you back in life, and zhe same goes in zhe dream world. I suggest you look into lucid dreaming, and harness zhe power to beat the shit out of whatever is scaring you again"
Heavy is like a big, strong, and fluffy bear - in the best way possible. Trust me, he's the right guy to go to when you can't sleep!
His form of comfort is holding you close and reading to you, his voice can be surprisingly calming and before you know it, you're back asleep. He'll make sure to only read a book that'll hopefully cause you to dream of good things, nothing with dark or serious topics. And if that means just straight-out children's stories from his childhood, well, you're too exhausted to complain.
"ŠŠ½Šø ŃŃŠ½Ńли, Šø ŃŃŠ½Ńли, Šø еŃŃ ŃŃŠ½Ńли ā Šø Š½Š°ŠŗŠ¾Š½ŠµŃ Š²ŃŃŃŠ½Ńли ŃŠµŠæŠŗŃ (summary: end of "The Gigantic Turnip" fairytale)."
He realizes you're finally deep asleep and closes the book.
"Cпокойной Š½Š¾ŃŠø (sleep well), lee'tle baby."
You know what helps him sleep? Scrumpy. And if that doesn't work? Watching the stars - the sky is absolutely perfect for it when your in the middle of nowhere! Why do you look so surprised? You really thought his only interests were Scottish folklore, kicking ass, and alcohol? HAH! That's cute.
His form of comfort is spending time with each other, nothing more romantic in his mind than passing out on the rooftop past the time soldier had told them to be in their assigned quarters.
"That constellation is called thee' verpa."
"Woah really? That's cool, what's it mean?"
He suddenly bursts into lighthearted laughter.
"Can't believe you fell for that! That's just Latin for penis."
divider cr: @petalpxl
written: 2026, edward & elektron
Ollo! I hope life is treating you well,
this more up to your interpretation of you want to do headcanons or a one shot but Iāve wanted to see someone write a reader whoās a mercenary but during ceasefire they are lounger singer as a hobby but the team doesnāt know until they unknowingly show up to one of the bars they sing at (*Ā“āļ½*).
As for who, again I want to see who youād think would be the one (or all of you have time or canāt pick) to find out their little side hobby.
Take as much time as you need _(:3ćz)_
| TF2 X READER HEADCANONS āā SINGER (Y/N) |
I tried to do little scenarios, I guess they could be called headcanons.. I blanked out on Pyro though so I'm sorry I couldn't write that one :(( Hope you like them!!
Used pronouns for (Y/n): They/Them
. . .
āThe mercs discover (Y/n)ās secret talent for singing during a ceasefire.ā
. . .
Scout
It had been a rough battle, he had to be checked by Medic more than three times, so he was tired and needed to relax. He just wanted a drink, his eyes focused solely on the ground. Mumbling something to the bartender, he sat down on a stool, and sighed. Then, it hit him. That sound, that voice, he turned to look at the singer. The bartender served him his drink, and asked if he knew the person on the mic. Scout threw some sarcastic comments, a little jokes, he even bragged about working by their side. After the song ended, he approached (Y/n) with the biggest grin an idiot in love could have. āHey uhm⦠that was awesome, like, fancy kind of awesome yāknow?ā He was starting to sweat. āIād be really cool if I could⦠hear more, uh like, privately.ā
Engineer
He was called in to test the acoustics in that very same bar. He strolled in with a grin, which dropped the second he realized who was singing onstage. (Y/n) spotted him too, and waved subtly. He tilted his helmet, and approached. While (Y/n) sang, he prepped the guitar, and during a break between songs, he heard them whisper. āI need a duet, a guitar one.ā So he picked up the guitar, and checked the song list. āYa bet!āĀ
Demoman
Drunk as usual, he stumbles into a bar looking for more to drink, while sitting on a couch in the corner he spots (Y/n). They were singing a ballad, which distracted him completely. He stumbled closer, and when (Y/n) spotted him and gave him a smile, he began rambling, not loud enough to interrupt the singing, just enough to bring a chuckle out of them mid-song. He started giving tips for them to gain more āexplosive performance energyā, forgetting heās supposed to be subtle. When the songās over, he convinces them to let him buy a round for them both while he keeps drunkenly complimenting (Y/n)ās voice.
Soldier
He dragged the team into a āreal American barā during a free day. He was bragging about his knowledge on patriotic music. While heās taking a sip of his drink, (Y/n) starts singing an old classic. His helmet bounces as his head snaps towards them, a grin forming in his face before turning back to the others. And so he begins rambling about that song, the significance, the āAmericanā type of rhythm. Of course, he takes it very seriously, critiquing (Y/n) like a general would drill a sergeant. When the songās over, he proudly admits (and with proudly, I mean he stepped one boot up the table holding the drink up and yelling loudly) that (Y/n)ās voice is āstrategically superiorā to any weapon heās wielded.
Heavy
He was curious to try out the āAmerican Vodkaā Soldier had recommended him. So he walked in, and when he was about to order a glass, he heard a voice he recognized. ā(Y/N)?ā He spoke, looking at the person singing. He forgot about the order, and just stared with confusion in his face. He wanted to yell āSING LOUDERā since heād never heard them sing before, but was also mesmerized by the smooth voice. In his mind he was still trying to process how the maniac he fought alongside with in the battlefield could have such a soothing voice. Afterwards he simply stated āYour voice is better than sandvich. That is saying much,ā and offered protection as a bodyguard for all future gigs.Ā
Medic
Heād read of a new bar in-town with classic German beer, so he had to try it out. He dragged himself there late at night, adjusting his glasses after wiping raindrops off them. Oh, he liked this song! As he walked over to the bartender, he sang along under his breath āDanke schoen⦠danke schoenā¦ā He ordered a glass, a big one. Then⦠ā(Y/n)!ā He yelped, a smile forming on his lips. He didnāt expect them to know, let alone sing, one of his favorite songs. āMein Gottā¦ā While taking a sip, he couldnāt help but be surprised, and a little captivated. āThat precision, that emotion, it isāahāexquisite!ā Then, in his mind a few ideas came to mind; ways to hear them sing again, just for himself. When (Y/n) was packing up, he approached them with enthusiasm. āHallo (Y/n)! You must let me examine those vocal chords, theyāre fascinating!ā Heād said, all giddy like a child.Ā
Sniper
He was in town, meaning heād visit the local pub. Sitting on a stool with two empty glasses and already chugging down a third, he was getting bored. Then (Y/n)ās voice cut through the bar. He recognizes them immediately from the timbre but doesnāt want to admit it, not yet. After finishing the glass, he tries to act nonchalant, but he keeps getting pulled into the lyrics and humming along. āBloody hell⦠didnāt know they could do thatā¦ā He mutters, suppressing a grin. On his way out, he walks up to them and gives a pat on the back. āNot bad for a merc.ā Yet his eyes spoke a lot more than those little five words that he managed to get out.
Spy
Busy day, tired Spy. He put on his best suit and packed his best knife, making his way to a classy bar, expecting a sophisticated evening. He was quite surprised to see who was performing that smooth, sultry number that had gotten him sighing. His very own teammate. āHm, what a surpriseā¦ā He muttered, watching (Y/n) sing with ease, unaware of his presence. Spy was instantly captivated, seeing them in a complete new light. He wanted to approach them right there, but no, he had to wait until all songs were done; even if that meant to stay a lot more than what he had planned to. After the last song concluded, he approached with a glass of wine, complimenting their talent, and maybe suggesting a private duet of a different thing.

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