#maybe hundreds

[ficwitch]

imma take three shots of gin when I get 1000 followers just cuz 

[lampropelma-violaceopes]

I see my fellow 18+ Tumblr users talking a lot of self-trash, but the adult with the greatest inability to adult is and will always be my father.

He's almost 70 years old. He has an inguinal hernia he's waiting to have surgically corrected, so his doctor told him to avoid high fiber foods.

Now, this man is full hippie diet wise. His idea of a good time is oat bran cookies sweetened with apple juice. So, upon hearing this, my father decided "Hey, since I can't have the foods I usually enjoy, I'm going to try junk food again." 

My father, the stoner going on 50 years, then proceeded to get stoned, eat the entire two pound bag of peanut M&Ms in one sitting, get sick from the sugar and bulk of the peanuts (although he bizarrely thinks it’s the food dyes that made him ill), and feel so gross that he actually went to the E.R. and admitted to them that he ate the entire fucking two pound bag of candy. They sent him home with nausea medication, undoubtedly wondering where the hell this man’s caretaker had been.

So, Adultblr, whatever is going on in your life that you currently feel inadequate about or unprepared for, rest assured that you can quite easily be a dumb your entire life with only minimal consequences.

[finalityinfate]

.

[tiki-lamps]

but where do all the bobby pins go?