#mayocalypse 2014

[vergess]

My sincerest apologies for dropping that god-awful bomb courtesy of Houston Independent School District.

-@fashion4ducks

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No, no, thank you for telling me! Really! I live SO far from there now, I would have not found out for days. My youngest family members are learning to read in Florida, so you can imagine I've been fixated on the political meltdown happening there.

It's better that I found out while I was already in "horrific news about literacy and republicanism" mode here on tumblr, than if I found out at a family dinner, you know?

[vergess]

VERGESS you got recc'd to me as a tumblr exclusive

Image: a corroborating screenshot. End of description.

HAH! AMAZING! I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE KNOWS HOW COOL AND NEAT AND VERIFIABLY AWESOME I AM

[vergess]

Is mayonnaise a gender?

IDK gender is wild, maybe someone’s gender out there is best described as “the worst imaginable condiment why does this even exist who allowed this to happen”

It’s a possibility.

[vergess]

I'm watching a show where there's a character who literally just eats piles of mayonnaise, complete with sound effects. It made me think of you.

whY

WHY WOULD YOU THINK OF ME

WHY DO THEY EAT THAT GARBAGE

WHO ALLOWED THIS TRAVESTY TO REACH A PUBLIC AUDIENCE

[vergess]

skeletalgeneral submitted

And that officially bring the tally of times I’ve thrown up today to five.

[vergess]

Jell-O shots except made with mayonnaise

How dare you

[vergess]

So, I work in politix, part of which involves voter data, which leads to some interesting discoveries, such as the last name 'Castillebutts' or the fact that 'Mayo Street' is a place in my town...

Good fucking god

They mayonnaise is EVERYWHERE

It’s taking over our streets, America

[vergess]

how about a big scoop of mayo in a waffle cone?

OH MY GOD SOMEHOW THE WEIRD CULT THING LOWERED MY DEFENSES AGAINST INAPPROPRIATE FOOD+MAYO COMBINATIONS AND THIS IS EVEN WORSE BECAUSE OF ITS PROXIMITY TO THE CULT OF MAYONON H E L P