When I said I ship Heinz/Lucas completely unironically I meant it and over the span of 2.5 days I wrote 2400 words of an Idea for them getting together. It's kind of twisting Lucas's confession around a bit, like, what if he were the one to confess first? And it's just overall very humorous and sweet, with lots of focus on his friendship with Alice as well (and there's background Cecil/Alice to celebrate me marrying The Baby in RF5). Here's Alice about to have a stroke when she realizes these two dopes have a crush on each other.
“And I’ve no issue with anyone having a ‘crush’ on me, as you put it, at least not in theory. But in practice? No. I am a divine being. Myself and a mortal being in any sort of relationship? That’s not possible. Although I find it quite unbelievable that someone would be drawn to me in such a manner, to begin with.”
Alice sighs, trying to process this startling new information, although she knows it’s a lot more for Lucas to process. “Heinz is a lot of things, but I don’t think he’s that shallow. He obviously cares about you, and it’s for who you are, Lucas. Not what you are. But don’t force yourself to go along with it just because of how he feels, either.”
“What ever do you mean?”
“Like, I remember Cecil saying almost that exact same thing to me when we first started dating – he was worried I was indulging him, that I didn’t actually reciprocate his feelings. Luckily I did like him back, but I wouldn’t have lied just to make him feel better. And I know you wouldn’t do that either, as much as it might disappoint Heinz to hear it. He’s used to being let down; I’m sure he’ll get over it eventually.”
Lucas presses his fist beneath his chin, even deeper in thought than before. “Hm. Not that I don’t agree with your assessment, Alice, but it appears you’re gravely mistaken. About my feelings.”
“Wh-what…?” Alice stammers, although she thinks she already knows the answer. “What are you talking about?”
“When you had mentioned previously that it was Cecil who suggested obtaining a manual to use, I had assumed at some point that he’d also divulged to you the, as he described it, ‘earth-shattering deduction’ he made about me. That I, too, have a ‘crush’.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yes?”
“On Heinz?”
“Yes!”
“But… how?”
