#mayrel

[seasidesunsets]

Those big beautiful green eyes...

I could get lost in them

Green like a lake, or like a forest

They even have a little blue in them

They’re the color of the sea when it’s a perfect green-blueish tint

I could get lost in those eyes forever,

And the best part about them is

Those eyes were looking back at me

[seasidesunsets]

I looked at my reflection in the mirror

And what I saw was the face of a happy girl that is finally getting comfortable in her own skin

Suddenly I remembered that you are the reason I’ve been making this progress with myself

It’s true that you shouldn’t depend in someone else to see your own beauty, but having someone to appreciate you helps you realize it

[seasidesunsets]

I miss

I miss your good morning texts

I miss our conversations

I miss smiling everytime you talked to me

I miss being nervous but comfortable at your side in our first dates

Imiss you giving me butterflies in my stomach

I miss holding hands

I miss knowing someone actually liked me...

And i hate that i got so invested in something that didn’t actually mean something to you, or at least not enough to even try...

[seasidesunsets]

Your last words still hurt me

“sorry for being so complicated 😕”

How can i feel so sad about losing you when I never even had you in the first place...

[seasidesunsets]

Failed almost relationships

How do you go from calling me cute and having long conversations every day for 2 months and going on 2 great dates...

To stop talking to me for 2 days and then canceling our 3rd date and basically bailing on us and telling me “Sorry for being so complicated 😕”

Like.. WHAT THE HELL EVEN IS THAT?!

I get that we weren’t anything, but if you don’t want to keep going out with me just tell me it’s not really working for you instead of just leading me on and out of nowhere bailing and telling me “the border thing is an issue” no it’s fucking not 🙄 I’ve literally crossed the border to go on dates with you and I’ve had no issue with it because i like you!

I don’t know whats going on with you, but save me from the emotional drama I’m going through by either keep going out with me or Thank you, next. 👋🏼

[seasidesunsets]

It’s incredible

How much a hair change can improve your confidence.

I’ve always had dark brown hair but felt like it didn’t suit me... it looks okay I guess, but i just never felt like ME with my natural hair color.

I dyed it like 2 years ago and it already faded and grew out, so i had dark brown hair again the last couple of months and felt really “bleh”

Well, I went to the salon 2 days ago and I cannot stop looking at my hair/myself

And i feel happier! And it’s just a simple hair change.

I cannot stress this enough, take care of yourself, it shows.

[seasidesunsets]

Little pieces of our conversations ❤️

We’ve only been on one date, but we’ve been talking almost every day for about 2 months now... we’ve talked ever single day since our date last week 😊

And what makes me happy are the little things like this:

He was going out with his friends on friday and he told me he missed me & sent a kissing emoji... we haven’t even kissed yet and we never talk about it or send kiss emojis or anything like that so i felt all fluttery 😅

Today I told him i might go to San Diego tomorrow (he lives there) and he told me he’d love to see me again and he even thought about skipping work, but i was like um no 😰 go to work!

We ended up rescheduling because my sister is also going with me tomorrow and I guess meeting my sister on our 2nd date was kinda weird 😅 BUT the thing here IS that he actually called it a DATE! Before he would just say let’s hang out again! But now it’s a “date”. I called him out on it and he’s all like, well isn’t it a date when you go out with someone you’re interested in?

I know for some people this might be nothing, but i am not used to guys being interested in me and being sweet to me? And the fact that he actually calls it a date or that he says he misses me, or that he’d love to see me again, or how he talks to me every single day... it’s just affirmation that i am not crazy and someone really is interested in me and that I do deserve someone who I could potentially build a good relationship with.

[seasidesunsets]

SO um, i just finished university.... now what?

i don't know what to do with my life

i feel so unprepared

i guess i'll just spend all my free time in tumblr, binge watching shows, and eating