#mazabrei

[mentalillnessmouse]

mazabrei replied to your post “how do i deal with double texting stressing me out so bad that i cry?...”

"I don't like this THEREFORE it's not okay" lol tell her to stop but you really can't stop her.

you’re right, anon cannot make their friend stop double texting them. 

my response was about how anon can get their friend to understand that what they’re doing wasn’t okay by using an example of how i have set boundaries amongst me and my friends. 

friendship, as i have said many times, is about communication and respecting people’s boundaries. 

you can never make someone else do anything they don’t want to do, but if you want to be friends with someone you have to be willing to change and shift your behavior so it’s not negatively impacting your friend. you have to respect people’s right to say ‘no’ and their right to tell you when your behavior isn’t okay with them. if you cannot do that very basic thing you probably shouldn’t be friends with that person. 

basically, i was going to say ‘if this was something silly that was annoying to anon then’ but you know what? no. if someone is not okay with it, no matter if other people think it’s a silly thing to not be okay with, then it’s not okay. don’t do it. once someone has set up a boundary of what they will and will not tolerate/accept being done to them, then as their friend you have to respect that, or you have to reconsider why you even call yourself their friend. it doesn’t matter if the boundary is something you don’t consider to be worth the time, once it has been established and communicated then you need to respect that. respect people’s rights to say ‘no’. 

tldr; this is about anon’s friend disrespecting boundaries that anon needs to make clear are there and are things that anon wants to be respected. 

--kei 

[invertedgender]

How do you find your posts? I know some people submit or tag you, but is that how you find most of them? Do you pick a tag and scroll through? Do you follow people who post invertable things? Or do mysterious pigeons fly through your window and give you post-its with handwritten urls?

All of those things happen!

When the queue gets low and the pigeon messengers don’t show up, I pick a tag or two at random and scroll through them until I am fed up of it.Sometimes I’ll get a submission and go to the original blog, then end up in their archive because the theme doesn’t display tags and I want to see what the post was tagged as, if anything. That can lead to seeing other (e.g. reblogged) posts, and using those as well, although I try to avoid picking lots and lots created by the same person.

It depends on how much time I have and how much energy I feel like spending on reading through people complain, really! Which is why submissions are always appreciated, as well as possibly leading to more material.

Misogynistic posts on tumblr are more difficult to find, as people don’t tend to tag them as such, or maybe even think of them as being misogyny. This is in contrast to #misandry, which is where the “lol men are shit because x” posts go, although over time there’s been more and more discussion of sexism, or complaining about it. And of course several posts on nearly every page from themodernmisandrist, which takes misogynistic posts from around the Internet and makes them misandristic instead.

Finding antifeminist posts to invert to be either feminist or anti-MRA is a bit easier than finding openly misogynistic ones, although it all gets a bit mixed up as people tend to tag their posts about feminism with every gender-equality-movement word they can think of! Which is, of course, to have people who use all those different tags see it, whether it be sincere or inflammatory.

All of which means… please do send the source URLs of invertable posts, and maybe inversions themselves, to me via your nearest urban pigeon. Particularly if you think you can balance out the kinds of posts on the blog: I try to be as varied as possible, but it really does depend on what I can find and how much time I want to spend reading the words of angry people, rather than carefully counting the posts I use.