Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, Jenny Hope
Rating/Warnings: Explicit (M)
Tags: Romance, Love, Smut and Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content
Word Count: 3,794
Read it on AO3: Bewitched (Or: Spellbound on Halloween)
Summary:
Witches, vampires, and one very bewitched doctor.
It’s Halloween aboard the Enterprise, and Jenny has cast a playful spell on Leonard, who suddenly finds himself at the mercy of magic he can’t quite explain – or resist. Will he be able to, or even want to, break the spell?
Another (missing) Hope and McCoy smut scene.
(Although you don’t have to be familiar with my other Hope/McCoy stories to enjoy this little one-shot. )
****************
"Well, I’ll be!" Dr. McCoy exclaimed as he walked into his quarters and was stopped in his tracks by the vision in front of him. "I never knew witches wore such spicy lingerie!"
"Well, now you know, Leonard," Hope laughed with that adorably mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "But you’re early! I didn’t want you to find out until later."
"And why is that?" he smiled, a jolt running through him at the enticing view, as he started to move closer, his intentions perfectly clear.
But by the time he’d stepped around the bed, Hope had already slipped on the rest of her Halloween outfit, flashing him an impish grin and donning her pointed hat for good measure.
Of course, she was just as alluring in her flowing dress – or was that a gown? And naturally, even with her now fully covered, he hadn’t forgotten what was hiding underneath.
"That’s exactly why!" Hope giggled, a mock admonishing look on her face, but the doctor saw right through her, knowing how she thrived on his adoration.
And on teasing him. Instantly proving him right, when she turned her back toward him, her dress still unfastened all the way down from her neck to well under her waist, her silky skin inviting his eager hands to explore.
“Don’t even think about it,” she cautioned, her voice low and sultry, clearly enjoying driving him to the limits of his restraint, then added, "You may, however, help me fasten this thing."
McCoy was only too happy to oblige, tracing her spine with delicate fingers and softly kissing the nape of her neck as he did so, appreciating the goosebumps and little shiver, followed by a barely stifled sigh, with a satisfied smile.
"Anything else I can help with?" he drawled softly, placing his hands on Hope’s waist and gently turning her around to face him, knowing exactly the effect this had on her. Two could play the game.
“Yes, Leonard, be a dear and pass me my magic wand, if you please!” she practically purred, then acted surprised when the doctor drew her close, undeniable proof of his eagerness pressing against her belly.
Letting out a soft moan, Hope gripped his hips, pulling him tighter and rubbing herself a little against his pulsing need.
“You sure, you wouldn’t rather play with my magic wand right now?” McCoy asked suggestively, his voice husky with longing, as his hand found its way under her gown, sliding tenderly up her leg, teasing fingers finding her already wet and trembling at his touch.
"Stop, please!" she whispered, and he could see the struggle in her eyes. "I really need to be on time for band practice before tonight’s party."
"All right, love," the doctor relented, gently removing his hand and trying to rein in his own desire. "Just one kiss, and then I’ll leave you to it. Count Dracula needs to get ready for tonight’s party, too."
Their kiss was passionate, lingering just long enough for him to feel Hope quiver with longing and need. But when his hand started to wander again, she exhaled sharply and stepped back determinedly.
“Careful, Leonard,” she warned him sweetly, “I’m a witch after all! And if you keep being naughty, I might have to teach you a magic lesson and put a spell on you.”
“Oh, now I’m scared,” McCoy chuckled, fondly taking in her flushed face. “I’m a scientist. I don’t believe in magic.”
"We’ll see. Let’s talk about this again after the party. Maybe you’ll change your mind!” Hope added cheekily.
"Hardly," the doctor smirked, "but if anyone could make me believe in magic, it would certainly be you, love."
And tenderly kissing the tip of her nose, he turned around and disappeared into the bathroom.
*******
God, why is he still affecting me so much after all this time? Jenny wondered, staring after him longingly. Leonard was perfectly aware of how powerless she was to resist him when he used that voice and touched her so delicately. And he also knew how to exploit that knowledge to the full – in the best of ways.
He’d never do anything she didn’t want, or be pushy in any way, always checking in, making sure she felt completely safe with him. But he could be merciless in his teasing, utterly enjoying how helplessly aroused she became, which usually resulted in her experiencing pleasure beyond words.
A glance at the time brought her back to the present. She was just about to leave, when her gaze fell on McCoy’s costume laid out on the bed, and a naughty idea struck her. Leonard had made sure she would spend the evening performing with the band horny, and she’d love nothing more than to return the favour.
Opening her desk drawer, Jenny pulled out a little notepad and pen. A thoughtful present from Leonard, knowing that she still preferred real paper to a screen. Sitting down, she thought for a minute, then wrote a few lines with a pleased smile on her face.
She carefully folded the note and slid it into the pocket of Count Dracula’s cape, leaving the paper just peeking out so he wouldn’t miss it.
And with one last wistful glance at the bathroom door, Jenny grabbed her wand and hurried out the door.
*******
When McCoy returned from the bathroom, Hope was already gone, and he smiled, revelling in the scent of her perfume still lingering in the air. He’d never fully grasp how he could be so lucky in love after all the heartbreak he’d known before this amazing woman had come into his life. But he’d learned to accept it as a blessing rather than trying to rationalise it, simply basking in the warmth and boundless comfort she offered so freely.
After a cold shower to regain control over his body following his steamy moments with Hope earlier, the doctor was just starting to get dressed, when a piece of paper sticking out of the pocket of his cape caught his eye.
“What’s she been up to now?” he grumbled affectionately, reaching for the note and opening it carefully.
His eyes grew wide as he read, an amused grin spreading across his face.
Tempt not the witch whose heart you claim,
Her magic burns with love’s own flame.
Count Dracula’s thoughts were far from pure,
So a witch’s spell shall be his cure.
Whenever he hears her name tonight,
His spirit wakes, his calm takes flight.
His senses stir with strange delight
At the sound of her name this haunted night.
Better be ready for what may wake,
And keep that cape loose – for decency’s sake.
McCoy had to laugh out loud. Lord, how he loved this woman! Loved her playful side. So sweet. So utterly her. The perfect antidote to his often darker moods.
When he arrived in the assembly hall, the party was already in full swing, his favourite witch and Uhura, equally gorgeous in a leopard-print outfit, performing with their band and filling the room with their beautiful voices.
Watching and hearing Hope sing never failing to lift his spirits, the doctor found a spot away from the designated dancefloor, peacefully nursing a drink and feeling only slightly ridiculous in his vampire outfit.
Hope’s eyes met his across the room, and, as always, he instantly felt ‘his senses stir with strange delight’. He certainly didn’t need a spell for that, he chuckled to himself, fondly touching a hand to the note in his pocket. This little witch knew exactly how to keep him on his toes.
After a while, Jim, swashbuckling space pirate incarnate, appeared beside him, drink in hand and a content look on his face, as his eyes travelled around the hall, happy to see his crew enjoying themselves.
“Those two are certainly a force of nature, aren’t they?” the captain smiled, nodding towards the stage. “Nothing boosting crew morale like a performance from Uhura and Hope.”
McCoy felt like lightning had struck him, a jolt of heat coursing through his body, the urge to just grab Hope from the stage and drag her off to their quarters mid-song almost irresistible.
This was ridiculous! A simple note from Hope couldn't affect his subconscious like this. Or could it? She’d certainly always had a knack for getting under his skin. He was a grown man, CMO of the Enterprise, for heaven’s sake, not some hormone-addled cadet. Yet, here he was, pulse racing and palms sweating like a schoolboy with his first crush.
The way she moved, the way she looked at him even from across a crowded room – it undid him every time. No science in the galaxy could explain the hold Hope had on him. One little rhyme, and suddenly he was fighting the urge to haul her off the stage and remind her exactly what sort of magic she’d stirred up. Maybe that was its own kind of spell.
Looking at Kirk, the doctor wondered if something about the captain, the way he’d said her name might have triggered this disproportionate reaction. Maybe Jim was in on the joke? But Hope wouldn’t take anything intimate between them that far. No, it was simply the effect of her looking especially beautiful and sensual in her witch’s outfit tonight. And, of course, knowing what she wore underneath didn’t help, either.
McCoy had barely regained his composure, ignoring Kirk’s strange, almost worried glances, when Scotty came up to them, clad in old-fashioned blue denim overalls, an ancient tool belt around his waist, and tenderly cradling a Scotch in his hand. Evidently not his first of the evening.
“Ach, your lassie sure is a sight to behold,” he beamed, cheeks probably flushed as much from watching ‘the lasses’ as from the Scotch, and the doctor was relieved to feel nothing but pride at the chief engineer’s remark.
No bolts of lightning, no fluster, no irresistible urges. Only the quiet, familiar amazement that this gorgeous, brilliant, and talented woman had chosen him for life.
Until Chekov, routinely dressed up as the Czar of Russia, joined them with an enthusiastic "Holy moly! Jenny and Nyota look absolutely stunning tonight!"
McCoy was struck by an instantaneous jolt of unbridled longing again and quickly tugged his cape around him to cover the inconvenient ‘stirring and waking’ in his trousers. Just as Hope’s note had advised.
Taking a few deep breaths, momentarily tuning out of his friends’ conversation right next to him, the doctor tried to convince himself that this was nothing but his subconscious playing tricks on him after reading Hope’s spell.
Her trick’s actually working, he couldn't help smiling – although he’d much rather have the treat.
But that would have to wait until after the party. When he finally had her all to himself again and could get his sweet revenge. Oh, the things he would do to her…
As if sensing his naughty thoughts, Hope’s eyes found his again, and her mouth curling into the tiniest grin, she gave him an almost imperceptible wink that set him right on fire again.
*******
Jenny had a hard time keeping her focus on the music and the lyrics, hardly able to turn her eyes and thoughts away from McCoy, who was looking simply gorgeous in his costume. Unbidden images of this wickedly handsome vampire nipping at her neck and whispering sinful things in her ear kept flashing through her mind, and she nearly missed her cue.
It was so sweet of him to play along with her silly spell. Visibly reacting every time someone spoke to him – probably saying her name – just to indulge her, was exactly his kind of humour and care.
She’d meant the spell as a daft little joke, a playful admonishment for getting her so horny just as she had to leave. But it was just like him to make a whole thing out of it. Foreplay at its finest. He loved it, and he was so very good at it. And creative, too.
But right now, having to perform, it was proving extremely distracting. Jenny couldn’t wait for the party to end, so she could finally ‘lift the spell’ which seemed to work on her just as much as he made her believe it affected him.
So, as soon as they’d finished their last song, she excused herself and all but bolted off stage to Uhura’s knowing grin. But Count Dracula was nowhere to be found. And to Jenny’s dismay, Leonard wasn’t in their quarters, either.
What she did find there, however, was a handwritten note on her pillow, letting her know that her spell had all but killed the Count, that it was far too late for her to lift it, and that the only way to break it now was to follow his instructions to the smallest detail.
On the back of the note, it said to go find those instructions in her desk drawer, which she hurriedly did, a tingling rush of excited anticipation stirring inside her. If she knew Leonard at all, he had thought up some delicious form of sweet torment for her as ‘punishment’ for casting a spell on him.
Expecting another note, Jenny was surprised to find a communicator in her drawer. Quickly opening it, she smiled at hearing that beloved Southern drawl, soothing and thrilling all at once.
“I’m craving witch’s blood tonight,” McCoy growled in a low voice, sending exquisite shivers down her spine. “And I can’t wait to sink my teeth in this particular witch’s delicate neck.”
That voice, that warmth, even cloaked in a growl, was enough to make her fall in love with him all over again.
“What are your instructions, Count Dracula?” Jenny breathed, starting to feel flustered, even as she thought she heard Leonard stifle a surprised guffaw.
“Grab your magic wand and hold it between your legs, witch!” he commanded. “Ride it like a broomstick. And don’t lift your gown! I want you to feel it rubbing against your womanhood through all the layers of your clothing.”
Jenny did exactly as she was told, her breathing growing heavier as the barely perceptible friction excited and frustrated her in equal measure. But just as she was getting wet enough for the wand to start stimulating her through her dress and underwear, the doctor thwarted her efforts.
“Enough!” his voice boomed from the communicator. “We don’t want this to be over too soon. I love my witches drained and compliant.”
Jenny let out a desperate groan at that and was incredibly touched by McCoy’s next words. So very him.
“Are you all right, love?” he asked concernedly, his voice back in caring Leonard mode.
Jenny felt a little flutter in her chest, a delicious ache that had nothing to do with her wand, just the sheer thrill of him being exactly who he was – loving, teasing, utterly impossible to resist.
“I am,” she was quick to reassure him, warm affection softening her intense need a little. “Feeling perfectly safe – if a bit flustered – in the company of a bloodthirsty vampire. But tell me now, Count Dracula, what are your next instructions?”
There was a brief chuckle, and a pause, as the famous vampire slipped back into character, and Jenny conjured up his handsome face, the fangs giving him a rather distinguished look, longing to have him near and touch his lithe body, so sleek and desirable in his black and red cape.
“Now lie down on the bed, witch! On your back,” the Count ordered sternly. “You can take off your hat and lose your wand, but don’t even think about removing any of your clothes. Or putting your fingers where they don’t belong.”
That last command, of course, designed to make her ache for places she hadn’t even dreamed of touching just a moment ago, didn’t fail to have its intended effect, immediately sparking a delicious tension deep inside her.
“You’re cruel, my Lord,” Jenny groaned, lying down on her back, gyrating her hips and clamping her thighs shut in a desperate attempt to ease the rising heat between her legs.
“No more than a witch casting a spell on an unsuspecting Count and making him suffer through a long Hallow’s night!” the doctor’s gravelly voice sounded from the communicator.
“Fair enough,” Jenny chuckled, her hand unthinkingly reaching to hitch up the skirt of her dress.
“Hands staying idle at your sides!” Count Dracula scolded. Of course, he’d heard the dress rustling and had immediately guessed where her fingers were heading.
Despite the rising, almost unbearable need to touch herself, Jenny instantly obeyed and let go of the fabric again.
“So, tell me, please, how can we break the spell, dear Count?” she asked, her voice catching in her throat.
“Listen closely, my dear witch,” Leonard murmured unhurriedly, and Jenny could almost hear him smiling at her helpless and audible arousal. “Lift your gown just enough to reach a hand underneath and place it lightly between your legs, right where you crave it most. But let it rest flat against you. No pressing, no tapping, don’t even curl a finger until I say so.”
Jenny followed his instructions to the letter, growing more restless with every command. She couldn't even secretly soothe herself – too far gone to do so without making a sound. And Leonard knew every single sound in her repertoire like a conductor knows every single note in a symphony.
“Now pay attention, witch!” the doctor’s stern words went straight to Jenny’s core. “For only if you do it right, the spell can be broken. If you fail, we’ll have to start all over again. Count to a dozen. Slowly and out loud. When you reach twelve, you may let one finger find bare skin. But employ it wisely, for you mustn’t come until you’ve counted to a dozen twice more. And when you do, there must be no noise. Absolute quiet is essential. Repeat the process five more times. And when you’re done, I’ll show you exactly how to break the spell.”
Despite being horny as hell just from hearing his instructions, Jenny had to smile at how naturally the doctor had slipped into Count Dracula’s role. Even after his earlier protests and agreeing to wear a costume purely for her sake. They’d never talked about role play as a way to spice up their love life. Not that it needed spicing up in the first place. But she had a feeling that he really enjoyed himself. It certainly turned her on no end.
“Clock’s ticking, my dear witch,” McCoy’s voice broke into her thoughts, and she dutifully started to count, keeping her actions meticulously in line with the instructions, even though it drove her mad.
Never before had pleasuring herself felt so hot. Or so tormenting. Keeping from tumbling over the edge too soon was nigh impossible and getting harder with every passing climax. But the hardest thing for her by far was to keep quiet. And Leonard knew that perfectly well.
Jenny was just coming off her sixth high, one hand busy between her legs, the other desperately clamped over her mouth, when the doors to their quarters slid open, and Count Dracula stepped in. His eyes dark and hungry, he advanced with the quiet grace of a stalking cat, making her whole body vibrate with renewed heat.
*******
Finding Hope lying there like this, cheeks flushed, dress crumpled, hair a mess, more than ready for him to take care of her, sent McCoy reeling. Her light and beauty were breathtaking.
“Roll over, witch!” he commanded. “On your stomach, so that I can rid you of your gown.”
Hope complied with a dazed smile, desire and exertion clearly having taken their toll. Seeing her so totally spent sent the most tender feelings to both his heart and his groin.
“This has to be done exactly right,” the doctor drawled, unfastening the back of her dress and tenderly peeling her out, before stripping off his own boots and trousers.
Gently grabbing her hips and pulling her towards where he was standing, the sight of her sprawled on the bed in her dazzling lingerie nearly undid him. He could hardly hold back anymore, when Hope pressed her pert little bottom against the palms of his hands, quite obviously needing more loving attention, even after all the orgasms she’d already brought herself to while he’d been on his way back to their quarters.
Underneath the witch’s racy underwear, she was still his insatiable girl. The one he loved more than life and knew how to pleasure to distraction, he thought fondly, caressing the small of her back as a surge of tender affection swept through him.
But he was already too close. After the “spellbound” evening he’d had, there was no way McCoy could hold out any longer, let alone take any more teasing. And when Hope started to wiggle her delightful butt against him invitingly, he knew she was just as keen for him to take her already.
“Are you ready for my magic wand now, dearest, insatiable witch?” he murmured softly, undoing the little snap buttons at the crotch of her lingerie with a teasing flick and gently brushing his throbbing erection against the wetness of her entrance.
“I’ve been ready ever since I cast that spell,” Hope breathed, her unsteady voice giving away the desperate need to feel him inside her.
Still, not wanting this incredible night to ever end, the doctor tried to go slow, pacing himself as he thrust into her from behind, his hands wrapped tightly around her hips, trying to guide her and set the rhythm.
But as always, this position drove Hope wild and she started to push back against him in earnest, arching her back and throwing back her head, silently urging him to go faster and harder.
And when she playfully asked if it had been the name Hope or Jenny that had triggered the spell, McCoy came with a guttural groan inside her, feeling her follow right after, as his body shuddered and trembled with aftershocks for the longest time.
“Dammit, woman,” he ground out when he finally recovered the power of speech, rolling off her and tenderly gathering her in his arms, “that sure was supernatural. I guess I was not imagining being under your spell from the moment we met. You actually did bewitch me.”
Then, touching a gentle hand to her chin and lifting her face to look at him, he added with a wicked smile, “Don’t you dare return that costume! And don’t even think of ever lifting that spell.”
“Oh, I’m not intending to,” Hope laughed, curling into him with a contented sigh. “Not when it feels so fantastic. And when I can make you believe in magic after all.”
****************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount Global (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no money is made, no infringement intended.
A tribute to my very dear friend @only-one-of-each-of-us on her special day.
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character
Rating/Warnings: just fluff
Word Count: 6.101
Or read it on AO3: A Piece of Art
Summary:
Up to now, whenever someone had talked to him about love at first sight, he’d just laughed and made some dismissive remark, certain that such a thing didn’t exist. But now McCoy wasn’t quite so sure anymore. This was certainly more than a shore leave romance.
1. Choosing a Subject
Clutching his coffee cup, Dr. Leonard McCoy was ambling along the main path of the little park across from his hotel, enjoying the sunshine and… Yes! She was here again, same spot as the days before. The mysterious artist, whose quiet dedication, the way she meticulously kept improving her work – drawing, erasing, redrawing – he found so incredibly fascinating. There was a dreamy sweetness about her that did the most unexpected things to his heart. He just couldn't help it.
He’d got a glimpse of her art the first day he’d come here. Passing behind her, he’d been enraptured by the picture of a little girl and boy playing with some pebbles by the swing and slide on the small playground in the centre of the park. The drawing had been staggeringly beautiful, not just because it was such an accurate and perfect depiction, but also because she’d managed to capture all the joy, the happiness, the warmth and gentleness of the scene, too.
Not to mention that she was a piece of art herself, this delicate beauty quietly sitting on a bench sketching, and the reason why he’d left his hotel at the same time every morning all week now, crossing the park in the hopes of seeing her again, this stranger who made his heart beat faster just walking past her. Every morning, the doctor would sit down on a different bench, somewhere near but not too close, sipping his coffee and simply watching her beautiful face, lips slightly pursed and frowning in concentration, as she was completely engrossed in her art.
She’d caught him gazing at her once, and thrown him a heart-meltingly shy smile that had kept him awake half the night after. But since he didn’t want to come across as a stalker, he’d limited himself to fifteen minutes in the park after that, just as long as it took him to finish his coffee, before going on to join his colleagues at the AIMC, the Annual Intergalactic Medical Conference, which was hosted by Starfleet Medical on Earth this year, and held in San Diego, California, a beautiful and enchanting city he’d somehow never been to before.
Just like he’d never experienced anything like this before. This woman was a total stranger, and yet, he found his thoughts circling back to her throughout the day. And the nights, too. Up to now, whenever someone had talked to him about love at first sight, he’d just laughed and made some dismissive remark, certain that such a thing didn’t exist. But now McCoy wasn’t quite so sure anymore.
x-x-x-x-x
She’d noticed him the first day he’d come to the park. Looking up from her sketchbook, she’d found those strikingly blue eyes in this stranger’s kind, handsome face gazing at her intently. He’d immediately looked away again, a shy smile playing around those full, sensuous lips, as he made his way past her, coffee cup in hand, and she couldn’t but admire his lean frame, moving so gracefully, light-footed like a dancer, seeming so confident and at ease in his body.
He’d been wearing a sleeveless denim vest over a tight black T-shirt tucked into skinny jeans that morning, and cowboy boots of all things. The look suited him, though. He was a tall, very slim man, but his shoulders were broad and the well-defined muscles in his arms, stretching the material of his shirt’s short sleeves, hadn’t gone unnoticed.
She wasn’t usually the type to hanker after some random stranger, so this man with his observant eyes and gentle smile catching her attention like that had totally taken her aback. She hadn’t been able to get him out of her head all day, and had found herself wishing he’d cross the park again the next morning. Of course, she’d planned on going back to finish her picture there, anyway.
To her great delight, the handsome stranger had indeed returned the next morning, and the one after that, too. He’d taken on this routine of strolling around for a bit, then choosing a bench to sit down, sip his coffee, and idly glance about, watching the people passing by, and occasionally her, too.
On day four, they’d started exchanging friendly nods, not quite in greeting but as a polite sign of recognition, the way you do with people you’ve seen around but don’t actually know. That had been the moment when it hit her how much she’d really love to get to know this gorgeous man who could make her day with a single brief smile. The brightest, warmest, kindest smile she’d ever seen on anyone.
2. Rough Sketch
After a prolonged conversation with Dr. M’Benga, who’d called after a patient in the Enterprise’s sickbay had taken a turn for the worse in McCoy’s absence, the doctor arrived at the park later than usual. Crossing the street from his hotel, he’d been positively alarmed at how much the idea of “being too late” bothered him. Or at the intensity of his relief, when he spotted her still there, right on her usual bench.
He’d only just chosen a place to sit and enjoy his coffee, his heart skipping a beat when the woman of his dreams nodded at him again, her eyes sparkling and her smile even brighter than the day before, and was wondering if he should finally pluck up the courage to go over and talk to her, when she got up from her bench rather abruptly and started to pack up.
McCoy could hardly belief the disappointment he felt at her leaving, nor the way his stomach did a little flip when she gave him a shy little wave goodbye. But watching her hurrying towards the exit at the far end of the park, admiring the way she almost seemed to skip along, it struck him that he’d never even seen her walk before. He really knew next to nothing about her!
Feeling the heat rising to his cheeks, it suddenly occurred to him that the reason why she was in such a hurry now might be that she’d actually waited for him. But before the doctor could give the absurdity of this idea any further thought, a young man came racing by on his bike and ripped the woman’s bag off her shoulder in one swift move while roughly pushing her to the ground.
Flicking his coffee into the nearest bin, McCoy was at the woman’s side in a heartbeat, yelling after the brute on the bike all the way over to where she was still lying on the ground.
x-x-x-x-x
She must have passed out for a moment, because when she opened her eyes, she looked straight into the worried, impossibly blue eyes of the gorgeous stranger she’d been pining for all week.
“Welcome back, darling,” he drawled, his voice low and compelling, and incredibly comforting, instantly making her feel safe and cared for. “Can you tell me your name?”
He was running a sort of medical scanner over her. A doctor?
“Alexandra,” she croaked, still a little dazed and not quite sure what had actually happened, the first half of her name almost inaudible.
“Look at my hand, Sandra, can you do that for me?” the stranger went on, his voice gentle but determined. “Now can you tell me how many fingers you see?”
“Two,” she answered, starting to feel more clearheaded again, and when his worried frown deepened, she added with a smug grin, “and one thumb.”
He lifted a reproachful eyebrow and chuckled, “Ah, got myself a witty patient here!”
She chuckled, too, wincing at the pain it caused her head, and the stranger instantly turned serious again.
“You took a nasty fall, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Might even have a slight concussion there. Mind if I feel your head? I’m a doctor.”
“Go ahead,” she replied, stifling a groan, her heart fluttering a little when she felt him running gentle fingers through her hair and all over her head, his delicate, almost tender touch, and the kind, focused look on his face immensely reassuring.
He was on his knees beside her, his face hovering closely above hers, and she could feel his sweet, minty breath on her skin, mingled with the smell of coffee and that of freshly washed clothes. A very nice smell, she decided, remembering just in time not to lean into his touch, when his hand briefly cupped and then gently patted her cheek on finishing his examination.
“You know, Sandra, scanners are great, but I’d rather rely on my hands,” he explained, straightening up and gently inserting a hand underneath her shoulders to help her sit up. Then he held out his other hand and asked, “Think you can get up?”
“I think so,” she nodded, gritting her teeth against the dizziness, and gratefully taking the offered hand to pull herself up.
“Take it slow, my dear,” he murmured softly as she gingerly got to her feet, and seeing that she was standing on rather wobbly legs, he led her straight over to a bench, a warm hand in the small of her back for support.
“Sorry about your bag, Sandra,” he gave her a wry, apologetic smile, sitting down next to her. “But checking on you clearly was my priority.”
“Don’t worry,” she smiled back at him, “there was nothing much in it, anyway. In fact, just some dried-out nail polish and an old-fashioned paper notebook and pencil. I carry all my valuables close to my body.”
She patted the pocket of her jeans.
“But your drawings?” he sounded genuinely upset.
“It’s all right,” she reassured him. “Luckily, I started on a new sketchbook today. So, it’s just the one drawing gone.”
“God, where are my manners?” he suddenly exclaimed. “My momma really raised me better than this!”
And jumping to his feet, he stood before her, gallantly bowing.
“McCoy’s the name. Dr. Leonard McCoy. Chief medical officer of the USS Enterprise, here on home leave. More or less. I’m sorry, I don’t get to treat a lot of civilians these days, and it shows.”
“Alexandra”, she laughed, accepting his proffered hand and chuckling as he dropped the lightest kiss on the back of hers, his lips just short of touching her skin. “Alexandra Dubois.”
“Enchanté, Mlle Dubois,” he smiled charmingly. “You know, I actually thought, you looked a bit French.”
“Belgian, actually,” she all but giggled, “and my friends call me Alex. But you can stick with Sandra, if you like. It sounds really nice when you say it.”
“Oh, ok,” he blushed a bit at his mistake. “I think I’d like that. Sandra really suits you.”
“You think?” she grinned, loving his gentle flirting. “It’ll just take a little time for me to get used to.”
“Well, I’d be overjoyed to get to spend a little time with you so you can!” he beamed, then quickly clarified, “Get used to it, I mean.”
Mortified when she realised what she’d just implied, she didn’t know what to say.
“At least let me take you to a café or something,” he continued kindly, catching on to her embarrassment, “I’d really like to keep an eye on you over the next couple of hours. Just to make sure there’s no concussion. And because I just binned my coffee and could really do with another.”
“All right, Doctor!” she smiled, drawn in by his gentle, beautiful eyes and feeling rather excited at the idea of spending ‘the next couple of hours’ with her attractive rescuer. “Coffee’s on me! It’s the least I can do! I can’t thank you enough for coming to my rescue!”
“Uh, nothing to thank me for,” he replied, blushing again, “and it’s Leonard, please!”
Her heart melted at seeing the charming and confident doctor suddenly turning almost awkward. So, he wasn’t just gorgeous, kind, and a high-ranking medical Starfleet officer. He was also modest and even a tad shy!
“I mean it, Leonard,” she assured him. “You’ve been too kind, and I’m very grateful.”
“So, are you feeling better then? No nausea or anything?” he changed the subject, back in professional doctor mode now, and she hoped, she hadn’t inadvertently scared him off.
“No nausea, no,” she answered, careful not to shake her head and briefly wondering, if she should mention the dizziness she felt looking into his hypnotising eyes.
He carefully helped her up, and they slowly walked out of the park and over to the nearest café, arms linked with her having to lean on him more than she’d expected to, and him easily taking her weight.
3. Refining the Drawing
Up close, she was even more attractive. From her neatly trimmed bangs, that brought out her beautiful eyes, down to her immaculately polished fingernails, that seemed to sparkle in a million different colours and perfectly fit her artistic and mysterious personality.
Sitting across from her at the small corner table, already into their third drink – coffee for him, tea for her, since she’d turned out to be more of a tea person – McCoy’s eyes were glued to her face, as she animatedly told him about a recent experiment gone wrong.
Less than two hours ago, she’d been this mysterious creature, more of an idea really, and now she was a real person, and even lovelier than he had imagined. He’d learned that she didn’t live in San Diego, either, but was only here on vacation herself. And amazingly, she wasn’t even a full-time artist but a fellow scientist, working in a chemical laboratory.
As it turned out, they had much more in common than he could ever have hoped for. And that wasn’t even counting his own occasional dabbling in art, which he wasn’t planning on mentioning, what with her incredible talent ranking so high above his own amateurish skills.
There hadn’t been a moment’s lull in their conversation. Sandra certainly knew how to tell an entertaining story while also being an interested and attentive listener. McCoy found that he wanted to know everything about her. Heck! He even wanted to tell her all about himself! She was certainly the easiest person to open up to.
He would have liked to stay at that café forever, but unfortunately, he had to show his face at the conference at least a couple of hours a day, and even had to give a speech that afternoon. However, by the time he was certain that she hadn’t actually suffered a concussion or any other serious injuries, and he couldn't put off leaving any longer, there was no doubt about them wanting to meet again.
So, taking a deep breath, he worked up the nerve to ask her out to dinner that evening, at a restaurant of her choice, seeing as she knew San Diego so much better than him, and she readily agreed, sending him off to the AIMC with another heartfelt thanks and a gentle peck on the cheek that was all he could think about for the rest of the day.
x-x-x-x-x
Choosing a place for dinner had been easy. She wanted cosy and delicious, and there was only one place in San Diego she could think of that offered both. A small, welcoming restaurant serving mainly dishes from the Middle East – her favourite – that made you feel right at home the moment you entered.
Having been there many times before, she didn’t need to look at the menu anymore, but could enjoy studying Leonard’s expressive face instead, as he was browsing through all the different dishes.
She could hardly believe that she was actually sitting here with “her” gorgeous stranger, the man who’d inhabited all of her dreams, and most of her waking hours, for the past week. Their conversation over coffee and tea that morning had been so easy and interesting, she just hadn’t wanted it to end.
And when there’d still been so much more to discuss and discover about each other by the time Leonard had had to leave for his conference, not before making sure that she was well again and would be all right without him, of course, she’d happily accepted his invitation for dinner.
Now here she was, unbelievably sitting in her favourite restaurant with the most attractive man in all of San Diego. Leonard was fun and had a brilliant mind. He was a devoted scientist, just like her. But he was also a dedicated healer, kind and warm. He had a quiet confidence about him, a comforting gentleness that she found immensely appealing.
Luckily, she hadn’t been seriously injured that morning, but if she had, there was no one she’d rather have had around to help. For some reason, she found she trusted this man to treat and heal anything, no matter how severe. Leonard just had this air of capability about him that was so deeply reassuring. He seemed like a man who wasn’t easily fazed, who knew what to do in any given situation.
Her head was still a little sore, but she felt like writing a thank you note to that villain biker, anyway. Because without meaning to, the bag thief had given her something of much greater value than anything he’d taken from her.
“So, how come you know San Diego so well?” Leonard’s voice pulled her back to the present, as he put the menu aside, ready to order.
“I used to come here once or twice every year, with a very dear friend who was born and raised in this lovely city,” she replied, fondly thinking back on all those wonderful vacations.
“But you’re here on your own this time?” the quizzically raised eye-brow amused her. Was he trying to find out if she was seeing someone?
“Yes, my friend’s working on a science vessel now. Has been for some years, actually.”
“Oh! Are they Starfleet, too?” the eyebrow had almost reached Leonard’s hairline now.
“No, he’s with a private organisation, as their chief chemist. Doing research in space has been a lifelong dream of his. But I miss him.”
It was true. She did miss him. Although she had her family and friends, life without Dan had been lonely and certainly less colourful.
“Are you two … uh … involved?” Leonard’s eyes were darting around nervously now. Was that a hint of jealousy – or at least concern – that she detected there?
“Dan and me?” she asked, stalling for time, but then decided to stick to the truth. “We were, actually. A long time ago. But we found that we’re better suited as friends.”
Leonard nodded thoughtfully at that, and it briefly occurred to her that he might be in a relationship himself. But as if reading her thoughts, he started to tell her about his marriage and divorce years ago, and how he and his ex-wife, sadly, were not suited as friends at all.
After that, it felt as if the last protective wall between them had crumbled, and they talked about everything and anything, including very personal things, until late into the night. They’d both been hurt in love more than once, and comparing stories, talking to him about her deepest feelings, things she had shared with only very few people so far, had an immensely soothing, almost healing effect on her. Leonard was truly a born healer.
But it was only when he started to talk about his daughter, eyes shining with a doting father’s love and pride, that she fully comprehended what a wonderful, loving, and deeply caring man he really was. The profound sadness on his face, when he told her about not getting to see “his little girl” nearly often enough, broke her heart and made her want to hug him. But of course, she was far too shy to do that.
Instead, she reached across the table to give his hand a comforting squeeze, the touch electric, and a thrill running through her, when he gratefully clasped her fingers and gently squeezed back, gazing at her with his kind, blue eyes that seemed to be looking straight into her soul.
After they’d practically been thrown out of the restaurant at closing time, Leonard quite naturally walked her to her hotel, neither of them seeming to mind that it wasn’t really within “walking distance”, just grateful for the extra time it gave them to talk and simply enjoy each other’s company. And when it got a little chilly, he gallantly took off is jacket and put it around her shoulders, along with a gentle hug and a rub to her arms that didn’t last nearly long enough.
They stopped a few times along the way, to look at something, or just gaze into each other’s eyes as they talked. Sometimes he even put his arm around her shoulders or waist and brought his face close to hers, as he pointed something out to her. Those moments were magical. There was no other word to describe them.
And when they reached her hotel, far too soon for her liking, there was a moment when he leaned in as if to kiss her, but she panicked and turned her head so that his warm and gentle lips landed on her cheek. Leonard, ever the gentleman, though, didn’t miss a beat, warmly thanking her for a lovely evening, wishing her a good night and asking if he would see her again in the park the next morning.
So, when she floated rather than walked to her room after returning his jacket and waving him off into the night, her full, racing heart was torn between excitement at seeing him again in only a few hours, and fear of having blown her chance of becoming more than just a shore leave acquaintance to him.
4. Adding Colour
Coffee had turned into dinner followed by an incredibly romantic walk, and even though he’d apparently misread her that first evening, McCoy was relieved that his misguided attempt at kissing her hadn’t ruined their budding friendship. Quite obviously he’d been out of the dating game too long, but Sandra had graciously overlooked his ungentlemanly faux-pas.
Now, three days later, it almost felt as if they’d known each other forever, and there was no question anymore, that they wanted to spend as much time together as they could. He’d have liked them to be even closer by now, of course. She was the most attractive woman he’d ever met, and he was only a man, after all. But even so, the way she made him feel when they were together, just talking and occasionally touching hands, was far beyond anything he’d ever hoped to feel again.
McCoy was just happy to be around her, trying his best to ignore the sparks igniting every time they touched, however briefly, or even just when she gazed at him with her big, soulful eyes. But since he was leaving for space again in a few days anyway, and she was far too precious to just be a shore-leave romance, he was simply grateful for every wonderful minute they had, thankful to have met her at all.
Besides, she seemed to have a lot of male friends, and she’d been talking very affectionately about this Dan guy in particular, so maybe keeping this strictly platonic was for the best. McCoy had never really been the jealous type, but he had a feeling that Sandra being a whole galaxy away could easily change that, if their relationship went beyond friendship.
x-x-x-x-x
After an early dinner of chicken sandwiches in a little café by the sea, Leonard had suggested an evening stroll along Coronado Beach, one of her favourite spots in San Diego, and possibly the most beautiful place on Earth. It certainly held some cherished memories, and she couldn't help imagining Leonard finally sweeping her into his arms for a breath-taking kiss there. Just as she felt they were meant to, and certainly a dream come true.
She couldn't really pinpoint what it was about him. What had her fall for him so fast and so completely. Incredible as it sounded, it had been love at first sight. And then a little more every day. With every look, every touch, everything he said or did. He was the kindest, gentlest, most fascinating man she’d ever met, and she couldn't even begin to describe what she felt gazing into those compassionate, mesmerising eyes, or even just being near him.
Standing or walking close to him, listening to his deep, rich voice and heart-stoppingly charming southern drawl, the way he admired her drawings, his gentle, genuine laughter at her jokes and puns, the sincerity of his interest in everything she had to say, filled her with a comforting, if unfamiliar, sense of confidence, a feeling of self-esteem she hadn’t known before.
She’d always been self-conscious and shy, feeling bland and boring, almost invisible, compared to most other women she knew. But she wasn’t invisible to Leonard. He saw her. In fact, he made her feel like the most attractive and interesting woman in the world. Being around him felt like basking in a warm sea of affection and, incredibly, even admiration.
He’d certainly had his fair share of personal drama, too. Far worse, in fact, than she’d experienced in her life. And the way he talked about his past, hiding the hurt behind dry humour and irony, he sometimes seemed almost flippant, but never bitter, just maybe careful and a little guarded. Through everything that had happened to him, he’d held on to his compassion and remained kind, warm, and caring.
But Leonard wasn’t just beautiful on the inside. He was stunningly gorgeous to behold, too. Not your typical, handsome boy, though. His was a more ragged kind of handsomeness that took her breath away every time she looked at him. A big part were those electric blue eyes, of course, but it was also his lopsided smile, his stance, his gait, even the hair on his arms, or poking out from under a V-neck, that were sexy in a way she couldn't even explain.
Just seeing his profile, or his back, even just the nape of his neck, or his full head of glossy hair, did the most disturbing things to her innards. Butterflies. Now she finally knew what people meant when they talked about them. And then, of course, there were his hands, their gentle tenderness, felt in every little touch, that had captured her even in her dazed state, when he’d first checked her for injuries that fateful morning in the park.
Oh, how she craved the touch of those magical, healing hands, how she longed to be held in those strong, hairy arms, to feel those gentle fingers rubbing her back, touching her face, those soft lips on hers instead of on her cheek. God, she was on fire. But she needed to put a halt to those thoughts before she did something stupid and made a complete fool of herself.
They were strolling hand in hand along the beach now, and she’d thought she’d die, her heart had been racing so fast, when he’d suddenly, almost casually, threaded his fingers through hers. Leonard was such a gentleman, so considerate in everything he did, and she very much appreciated that. But how could he not feel about her the way she felt about him? How could he not want her the way she wanted him?
“You’re such a gentleman, Leonard, and I really love that about you, but,” she blurted, stopping short when she realised what she was about to say.
“But?” he prompted softly, breaking his stride and turning towards her, gentle eyes fixed on hers and his fingers seeming to tighten their grip on her hand, as an almost naughty smile spread across his face.
“But I wish… I mean … Aren’t you attracted to me in that way at all?” he had her so flustered, she could barely speak.
“What way?” he took her other hand in his, too, and was openly grinning now, clearly delighting in teasing her a little, affection written all over his face.
But she couldn't find her voice, trembling with nerves, and anticipation, and insecurity, as he tenderly pulled her against him, bent down and brought his face close to hers, silently searching her eyes, waiting for a sign of consent.
“That way?” he breathed when she gave a small nod, and then his lips captured hers, caressing, exploring, and endlessly giving.
All she could do was cling on to him as she felt her knees go weak with longing, and disbelief, and excitement.
5. Finishing Touches
He knew it was beyond wrong, but he just couldn't hold back any longer. Sandra was everything he’d ever dreamed of and more. And now that he could see that she was as crazy about him as he was about her, he threw all caution to the wind, helpless to resist the urge to do what he’d been longing to from the very first moment.
And holy smokes! That woman, this almost timid girl who blushed so adorably at the smallest compliment, was one helluva kisser! Wrapping her arms around his waist, her incredible body moulding against his, she made him lose all rational thought. He just wanted, no, needed, to hold her, feel her, wrap himself around her, and lose himself in her warm and gentle presence that filled every space in his heart and did things to his groin that he seemed to have no control over.
Pulling back a bit, when they needed to come up for air, he caught her gaze, still a little doubtful, but clouded with the same desire he felt.
“Not attracted to you in that way?” he chuckled, shaking his head incredulously. “Are you kidding? I was practically going insane holding back every time we so much as touched. It took superhuman strength of will, not to be all over you right after our first dinner. And I can’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now, holding your delicate body in my arms after this spectacular kiss.”
Sandra was shivering, albeit almost certainly not from cold, and he pulled her closer again, wrapping his arms around her, wanting her to feel safe and comfortable, even though he’d probably just overstepped a line. What had he done?
Burying his face in her soft hair, as he tightened his arms around her a little more, still processing the incredible sensation of holding her so close, he tried to explain, needing her to know exactly how he felt about her.
“It’s so much more than just physical desire, Sandra. I hope you know that. We’ve only just met, have been seeing each other for only a few days now, but you’ve already got under my skin and into my heart and my soul. Barely a week, and yet I’ve shared more about myself with you than I ever have with anyone before.”
He paused, distracted by her snuggling closer with a soft sigh.
“But I’m going back to space after the conference. That’s why I’ve been holding off. The only reason why. I tried to avoid getting in too deep, which is ridiculous, really, because I couldn't be in any deeper. However, I’m in the middle of a five-year deep space mission I’ve signed up for. And you’re an amazing woman! The last thing I’d want is for you to feel like just a shore leave romance. Because you mean so much more to me than that. You have no idea. What I’ve found with you is wonderful beyond words!”
He didn’t add that, for the first time, he thought he might heal emotionally after all. That with her, he felt he could actually allow himself to fall in love again without necessarily getting hurt. And he certainly didn’t add what had been on the tip of his tongue so many times in the past few days. Because it was way too soon to say it, even though he wanted to say it with all his heart.
I love you, Sandra!
Instead he pointed towards the sky and told her, “I’ll be out there for at least three more years, Sandra. That’s no way to start a relationship of any sorts, least the one I’d love for us to have. And I certainly couldn't expect you to wait for me that long.”
x-x-x-x-x
“But maybe I’d want to,” she said, when she’d finally found her voice again, reaching up to tenderly touch his face while still processing all the wonderful things he’d just said. “Because I feel exactly the same way about you, Leonard. I really think that we have something special here and I wouldn’t want to just throw it away. I’ve certainly never felt like this before.”
“Neither have I,” he murmured, drawing her in for another mind-blowing kiss, and she just melted into him, his inviting arms, his alluring body, his seductive lips.
“I don’t know where this is going, or if it’s going anywhere at all,” she said softly, turning around in his arms to watch the stunning sunset, her voice trembling with a yearning for something she couldn’t even clearly identify, “but I just couldn't live with myself, if we didn’t at least give it a chance. And who knows? I might consider giving space a try after all. Maybe even join Starfleet Sciences.”
“Or I might finally return to Earth, if I had someone to come home to,” Leonard whispered into her hair, the feeling of his hot breath on her neck sending shivers down her spine. “I have no idea where this is going to take us, either. All I know is that you are far more than a shore leave romance for me. I haven’t felt connected like this to anyone in … forever really.”
“See? Life’s full of options, let’s keep ours open for now,” she all but giggled, suddenly feeling bold and fearless, standing here, in her favourite spot in the whole world, watching a magnificent sunset with this amazing man straight out of her dreams, wonderfully protected in his strong and tender arms, wrapped in love and happiness and a future full of promise.
“I’d love that very much!” Leonard murmured, his voice even softer, his embrace even gentler now. And when he tenderly added, “You’re as precious as your art, Sandra. I’ve never met anyone more beautiful, inside or out!” she found that, maybe for the first time in her life, she actually felt beautiful.
A perfect moment, she thought, forever etched on my heart.
And it really was. So perfect, she felt she might burst with happiness. With her back snuggled against his chest, feeling all his love, and warmth, and kindness engulfing her, life seemed like a dream. A dream come true.
And when she suddenly noticed his growing desire pressing against the small of her back, and he nervously chuckled and drawled, “I hope you don’t get the wrong impression, I’m usually all for taking it slow, but we don’t have that luxury, do we? And I feel I really have to show you just how attracted I am to you in “that way” before I have to go back to the Enterprise,” she eagerly took his hand and pulled him along towards her hotel.
She didn’t remember ever wanting anyone more than she wanted Leonard, she just couldn’t get to feel him, all of him, soon enough. And when she woke up the next morning, turning towards the wonderful man still peacefully asleep beside her, even more adorable now with his tousled hair and content little smile, she gently touched his face to reassure herself that he was real, that she wasn’t still dreaming.
Last night had been amazing, mind-blowing, magical, out-of-this-world, a true revelation. It had certainly taught her that there were even more perfect moments than watching the sunset with Leonard McCoy. More perfect, in fact, than she could ever have imagined. The selfless tenderness he’d shown her, the intense pleasure he’d given her, were beyond anything she’d ever known.
And the thrill that ran through her still tingling body when Leonard’s eyes slowly blinked open, a thrill of excitement at what was lying ahead of her, not just this morning here in bed – although that was certainly going to be spectacular again, too – but a whole new, bright and promising future, was beyond words.
Only matched, perhaps, by Leonard’s delighted smile that spread across his handsome face and lit up his whole being, when he found himself waking up to Sandra’s loving face tenderly gazing down at him.
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Characters: Leonard “Bones” McCoy, Joanna McCoy
Rating/Warnings: None
Tags: Leonard is a loving father, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Daddy Leonard, Bullying
Word Count: 2,170
This is actually a birthday gift for a lovely Trekkie friend, who happens to be a dedicated French teacher, but I hope you’ll enjoy it, too!
Summary:
Leonard finally makes it to the Family Days, helps a little boy out, and has a conversation with Joanna about bullying.
Read it on AO3: Family Days at Joanna’s School
“Daddyyyyyyyy!”
The squeal could be heard all over the school’s sportsgrounds, and startled people turned their heads to see little Joanna McCoy racing across the lawn towards a man, who was just getting out of his hovercar.
“Daddy, daddy, you came! You came to our Family Days!” she cheered a little less loudly and threw herself at the beaming man, jumping right into his open arms.
“Good to see you, too, pumpkin,” McCoy laughed, squeezing her tightly, his heart soaring at his darling daughter’s boisterous greeting.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she pulled back after a moment to look at him with big, reproachful eyes, and it took all his self-control and then some not to burst out laughing at the outrage on her face.
It was like looking in the mirror.
She’s a mini-me, if ever there was one, the doctor thought affectionately.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I couldn't,” he answered gently. “I wasn’t sure I was going to make it here in time.”
“But now I didn’t get to look forward to having you here for the Family Days!” Joanna pouted, even as the big grin made its way back across her face. “Or register for all the competitions we could do together.”
“I’m sure they’ll make an exception for us, and we can still register, sweat pea,” McCoy kissed the top of her head and set her back down on the ground. “I really couldn't tell you before, you know. Because daddy only ever makes promises he can keep. You understand that?”
“Yes, daddy,” she sighed and, quickly losing interest in their discussion as she spotted her grandma waving at them from the cake and pie stall, grabbed the doctor’s hand to pull him along.
“Welcome home, Leonard,” McCoy’s mother smiled when they’d reached the stall, wrapping him in a big hug. “I’m so glad you made it!”
“Granny knew?” the frown was back on Joanna’s face. “You told her? Don’t you have to keep your promises to her?”
“Of course, I do, honey,” the doctor laughed, ruffling her hair. “But I never promised her I’d come. I just told her I’d try.”
Joanna seemed satisfied with his answer and turned around to search the sports grounds for a suitable activity they could participate in.
“Are you a fast runner, daddy?” she asked, looking at him appraisingly.
“That depends,” he chuckled. “If the cookie monster is threatening to eat the last piece of my favourite peach cobbler, I sure am fast as lightning!”
“You’re silly, daddy,” Joanna giggled. “There is no cookie monster, and you’re standing right next to a gazillion peach cobblers.”
“Oh, right,” McCoy feigned surprise, looking around the stall with all its cakes and pies. “So, what were you thinking of?”
“I want us to do the water bucket relay race over there. Can we, please?”
“Of course, we can,” the doctor smiled, winking at his mother and hurrying after his little girl to their first competition of the day.
x-x-x-x-x
Several activities and competitions later, an exhausted McCoy and his daughter were about to settle down on the grass near the cake and pie stall with cold drinks and an ice cream for Joanna, when a boy, looking close to tears, almost slammed into them, apparently trying to get away from four girls who were chasing him and laughing at him over something.
The girls came to stand right next to Joanna, and one of them pointed a finger at the boy, who’d sat down on the grass, face covered in his hands.
“My dad’s great,” he cried indignantly. “He just has to work, and he does love me!”
“Look at him, Jo!” the girl sneered. “No one likes him. Not even his own dad. Finn registered them for so many competitions, but his dad didn’t even show up today.”
“He can’t help it, if he has to pull an extra shift!” the boy, Finn obviously, murmured defeatedly, but the girls weren’t even listening, too busy taunting him.
McCoy was watching the scene closely, waiting for the right moment to intervene. It was clear that Joanna didn’t agree with the other girls who tried to get her to join in. He knew the outraged look on her face, when she was disgusted by something, only too well, and couldn't wait to hear her set those girls straight.
Joanna, however, just turned around and quietly walked away. The doctor was very disappointed to see his daughter abandoning the poor boy. He’d have to talk to her about this later. But right now, he had to put an end to the bullying. So, he went over to Finn and, crouching down next to him, disapprovingly fixed the girls, one after the other, with his eyes.
“Do you ever stop to think before you speak, girls?” he asked sternly. “Have you even considered that his dad might not have had a choice? That maybe he is needed at work more than other dads are? Some people have important jobs they can’t just leave at any given time.”
McCoy turned towards Finn and put a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. “What does your dad do, kid?”
“He’s a paramedic,” Finn answered shyly.
“Oh wow, that’s one of the most important jobs of all! Just like fire fighters and other heroes!” the doctor exclaimed, looking back up at the girls, who were awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other now. “Just imagine if one of your dads or someone else you love had an accident, and there were no paramedics on duty to help them, just because they’d all decided they’d rather spend time with their families.”
The girls looked away, adequately chastened by the doctor’s words. All but one, who spoke up, looking at him defiantly.
“But still, there are plenty of other paramedics. Surely his dad could have made time for the Family Days, if he’d really wanted to!”
“It’s not always that easy, my dear,” McCoy replied more gently now, grateful to have got the girls thinking at least. “Sometimes there are emergencies, and they always take priority over private engagements. I’m a doctor myself, and this is the first time I could make it to the Family Days.”
“But that’s different! You work in space!”
“How is that different? Saving lives is always important, no matter where – space, Earth, or any other planet!”
x-x-x-x-x
After the girls had toddled off, and Finn had run off with a grateful little smile, too, McCoy had gone to find Joanna, who’d been watching from around the corner of the cake and pie stall.
It had been evident that she was proud of him while clearly less than proud of herself, and since the doctor hadn’t wanted to spoil the rest of the day for her, he’d just hugged her to him, brushed a kiss on her hair, and smiled, “Let’s talk in the evening, sweetheart, shall we? Because right now, I want to have some more fun with my darling daughter!”
So here they were, sitting on Granny’s comfortable couch after dinner, when McCoy brought the issue up again.
“Now tell me, pumpkin, why did you just walk away from Finn this afternoon?” he asked, trying not to sound too reproving.
“Well, I didn’t join in, did I? I hate when my friends make fun of him!”
“So, those were you friends, eh?” the doctor raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“Yes. They can be really nice, you know, dad,” Joanna sighed. “But for some reason, they always have it out for Finn.”
“That sounds like they’re bullying him, Jo. Are they?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“So, you didn’t join in,” McCoy went on. “I’m proud that you don’t just follow your friends’ lead and make your own choices instead. But, Joanna, in this case, not joining in wasn’t enough, you know that, don’t you?”
“What else could I have done?” she asked, but he could tell that she knew the answer perfectly well.
“Stand up for him, of course!” he spelled it out for her anyway. “And if those are your friends, it should have been particularly easy for you to make them stop.”
“But I didn’t really know what to say, dad! After all, you’re not often around, either,” his daughter countered with a helpless little shrug.
Joanna was just trying to explain, of course. McCoy was aware of that. She didn’t even sound accusing, and knowing her, probably didn’t mean it that way, either. But it was still like a punch in the gut. Because she was right. He wasn’t there for his little girl nearly as much as he should. Or would like to be.
Joining Starfleet had seemed like the logical choice at the time, putting some distance between him and his ex-wife after giving in to Jocelyn’s demand of full custody instead of dragging Joanna through a long and ugly battle in court. But maybe he should have fought harder.
Suddenly, the meaning behind Joanna’s words struck home.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart! Did they give you a hard time, too? Have you been bullied for not having your dad around?”
“No, never,” Joanna shook her head vehemently. “They’re my friends, and with you, it’s totally different. You’re a cele … a celeb … kind of really famous!”
“A celebrity?” McCoy couldn't help but smile at that, relieved that his daughter hadn’t been bullied because of him.
“Yes, that,” Joanna nodded. “And besides, Finn’s not even my friend!”
“So?” the doctor asked, the conversation back to the topic of bullying now. “If someone gets bullied, we stand up for them! That’s what we do! No matter if they’re a friend or not. We don’t just ignore it and hope it’ll simply go away again. You’d want someone to stand up for you, too, if it happened to you, wouldn’t you?”
“I guess so.”
Having made his point and knowing that Joanna was feeling bad enough about the whole thing anyway, the doctor moved on to the next question.
“Why are they bullying Finn anyway?”
“I’m not sure,” his daughter responded. “Probably because he’s such an easy victim.”
“I see,” McCoy said thoughtfully. “So, that’s where we have to start. Tonight, we’ll make a plan how to help him be less of a victim, all right? You can be quite bossy, sweet pea! I’m sure there’s a lot you can teach him about self-confidence!”
“I probably could,” Joanna grinned.
“Perfect!” the doctor smiled, holding up his hand for her to high-five. “And we’ll also figure out a way to convince your friends that bullying is a horrible thing to do.”
“Yes, daddy, let’s!” his daughter nodded enthusiastically, clapping their hands together, then proudly added, “We’re McCoys after all, we can make a change!”
“Where did you get that from?” McCoy chuckled, lovingly pressing a kiss to Joanna’s forehead.
“Granny always says that,” the girl explained, snuggling comfortably into her daddy’s arms.
Ah, good old mom! the doctor thought. She’d taught him all about values, and apparently, she was also making sure that Joanna got hers right, too.
“And, Jo,” McCoy returned to the subject of bullying one more time, “if your friends won’t listen to you, and the bullying goes on, you have to tell a teacher, ok? Bullying is a serious matter, and it often needs an adult to deal with it. You understand?”
“Yes, daddy,” his daughter nodded earnestly, “I understand. If I have to, I’ll probably tell my French teacher. I’m sure she’d be happy to help. And I promise I won’t just walk away again.”
“Glad to hear that, sweetheart!” the doctor smiled, immensely enjoying having this conversation with his daughter while holding her close instead of just seeing her face on a screen. “One more question, though. Why didn’t I get to meet the fabulous Ms. Annie, today?”
“Oh daddy!” Joanna giggled, playfully hitting his arm. “Why do you always get her name wrong? And you’d better not let her hear you calling her Ms. Annie – she hates that! Her name’s Ms. Anne. With a silent ‘e’.”
“All right, all right, pumpkin,” McCoy chuckled, impressed by his daughter’s linguistic expertise, and couldn't resist teasing her a little. “I’ll make sure to always call her Ms. Anne with a silent ‘e’ from now on.”
“Daddy!” his daughter exclaimed, rolling her eyes, “You’re so embarrassing!”
“Oh, am I now?” the doctor grinned, rolling his eyes, too, in perfect McCoy manner. “Well, maybe if I finally got to meet her, I wouldn’t get confused over her name anymore!”
“You’ll meet her tomorrow, daddy, I promise,” Joanna beamed. “She couldn't be there today. Something to do with her family. I think she had to go look at some colleges with her son or something. But after all the sports today, tomorrow is quiz day. And Ms. Anne always has the best quizzes! It’ll be quite a challenge for you to win them!”
“I can’t wait!” McCoy laughed, groaning inwardly at the quiz part, but looking forward to finally meeting this fabled teacher. “And make sure to introduce me!”
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, Jenny Hope
Rating/Warnings: Explicit (M)
Tags: Romance, Love, Smut and Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content
Word Count: 2,798
Read it on AO3: Only a Call Away (on Valentine’s Day)
Summary:
McCoy is away at a conference on Valentine's Day, but Hope won't let that stop them from having an unforgettable and very intimate evening nevertheless.
Or simply put: another (missing) Hope and McCoy smut scene.
(Although you don’t have to be familiar with my other Hope/McCoy stories to enjoy this little one-shot.)
************
Jenny cast a loving glance at the beautiful red roses on her desk, before leaving her office to get ready for the surprise she’d planned for Leonard. Today was Valentine’s Day on Earth, and the Enterprise was buzzing with people preparing for cosy dinners or pouring over mysterious cards and messages.
Unfortunately, Leonard was away at a conference, hence the roses and a lovely card promising to make it up to her. So typical of the doctor. As if being away on Valentine’s Day had been his choice. Or his fault. But Jenny was going to make sure that it would be an unforgettable Valentine’s Day for both of them nevertheless.
Changing out of her uniform and stepping into the shower, she felt heat rise to her cheeks just thinking about what she had planned. She couldn't remember the last time seeing Leonard had made her nervous, but tonight, it certainly did. Because tonight, she intended to fulfil one of his secret desires. At least she hoped so.
And with him being so far away this Valentine’s Day, it was the perfect opportunity to get over herself and make this particular dream come true for him.
-x-x-x-x-x-
“Hi there, love,” McCoy smiled, sitting on the bed in his hotel room, his back comfortably propped against the headboard, as he transferred the call to the bigger screen on the wall, then did a classic double take. “Oh, wow, you look stunning! Are you expecting company?”
He was joking, of course, but couldn't deny actually feeling a tiny twinge of jealousy, seeing Hope wearing nothing but a flimsy see-through nightie without him there on Valentine’s Day. What if someone came to see her in their quarters? Had she even remembered to lock the door?
“All just for you, Leonard,” she laughed, giving a little twirl showing off her alluring body, before draping herself seductively across their bed. “It is Valentine’s Day after all.”
“Are you trying to kill me, love?” he groaned, desire and lust pooling in his groin at the incredible sight before him, his uniform pants suddenly seeming painfully tight.
“Actually, this is part of my Valentine’s gift to you,” she giggled, doing a teasing little shimmy into the camera.
The doctor couldn't suppress a low grunt, almost exploding with desire and the frustration of not being able to touch her. Hope knew exactly the effect she had on him, and she was obviously enjoying this.
“Why don’t you get a little more comfortable?” she suggested, innocently batting her eyelashes at him. “Maybe get rid of all those constricting clothes?”
“Stop the teasing, woman,” McCoy growled as he shrugged off his shirt and removed his pants, then settled back on the bed, satisfied to see the longing he felt mirrored in her eyes now, too.
“Do you remember when you were at this symposium a few months back?” Hope asked, her voice deep and sultry.
“How could I not?” he responded, a little damp patch forming on his briefs as he felt his manhood twitching excitedly at the memory. “It was the hottest night I’ve ever spent away from you.”
Hope gave him a smouldering look, her lips curling into a naughty little smile.
“Is that what this is about, love?” it suddenly hit him, a bout of intense yearning surging through him. “Would you like me to talk to you like that again? I knew you secretly loved it, even though you wouldn’t admit it, acting all coy and bashful. Did you think I wouldn’t notice how much it turned you on? Or that I’d forget how many times I made you come just with my words that night?”
“Not just your words, Leonard,” Hope added softly, her adorable blush and shy little smile setting his nether regions on fire. “You know exactly what your voice does to me.”
“My voice, you say?” McCoy drawled, savouring the way she closed her eyes, her body gently writhing on the bed. “So you wouldn’t mind listening to me for a while now?”
“I certainly wouldn’t,” she smirked, “but I was actually thinking of going first today. The other part of my Valentine’s gift, so to speak.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
“You mean, you…” the doctor left the sentence unfinished, his eyes growing wide and a soft moan escaping him as his hand moved down his body where Jenny couldn't see it anymore.
I’ve managed to surprise him all right, Jenny thought giddily, her own desire growing as she noticed his breathing pick up and his eyes flutter shut.
“Oh my God,” McCoy gasped, the longing and eagerness in his voice going straight to her core, “you sure?”
“Only if you’d like it, of course,” Jenny smiled, trying not to let her insecurity show.
“Like it?” he chuckled, opening his eyes again and looking at her with a tenderness that melted her heart. “Good God, girl! I’ve been dreaming about this ever since our very first night. Nothing hotter than you talking dirty!”
The doctor let out a groan that sent a wave of burning need from between Jenny’s legs up to her chest.
“Jesus, remember that café where we had breakfast the morning after?” McCoy went on breathlessly. “You said something like ‘make-up sex is supposed to be the best’, and that was all it took to make me want to rip your clothes off and take you again right there and then. It’s driving me crazy just thinking about it now.”
“Then you’d better buckle up,” Jenny grinned mischievously, “because I sure hope that with you as my teacher, my skills have improved a little since then.”
Up to that moment, she hadn’t been sure if her plan to surprise Leonard with dirty talk was really a good idea. Much as she loved to hear it from him, she’d always felt silly talking like that herself. It just didn’t come naturally to her. But seeing his eager reaction, she felt much more confident now.
-x-x-x-x-x-
McCoy squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips tightly together, frantically trying to quell his arousal before he lost control. Just hearing Hope talk about dirty talk did it for him, and he definitely didn’t want to tumble over the edge just yet. She’d just offered to do what he’d been fantasising about for the longest time, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to spoil her – and his – fun.
God, she was a never-ending well of surprises. The sweetest, hottest, most amazing woman a man could wish for. He’d felt so guilty and sad for abandoning her on Valentine’s Day, but Hope wouldn’t be Hope if she hadn’t found a way to turn what he considered a disappointment into a memorable occasion.
“Keep your eyes closed, Leonard,” her voice, soft and low, brought him back to the present. “Can you feel my lips on yours? Kissing down your chin, tracing your jawline, nibbling down your throat, your chest? Mmmmmmh, my fingers softly playing with the hair on your chest while my teeth and tongue gently tease your nipples? The left one first, then the right one?”
The doctor moaned and hummed, almost feeling her lips and teeth and tongue on his skin. Wondering when Hope had gone from someone too shy to talk dirty to someone nearly making him shoot his load at the first word.
“Feel me tenderly kiss my way further down your stomach, your belly…” she went on, her voice getting huskier as her own arousal seemed to increase along with his.
He had to reach down and firmly grip the base of his rock-hard member, which was straining painfully against his briefs, hoping to stave off his fast building orgasm.
“You’ll have to be my hands now, Leonard,” Hope told him, her melodic voice reaching him through a haze of unbridled lust and burning desire. “Help me strip you of your briefs, so that I can see you in your full glory and touch you the way I know you love.”
McCoy clasped his erection, almost bursting with need and desire, Hope’s voice edging him on and nearly driving him out of his mind.
“Feel my hands where you want them most, gently playing with your balls, firmly stroking up and down your shaft. Up and down, ever so slowly, while my tongue starts circling your crown. Lightly, exploringly. Mmmmmh… you’re oozing desire, and I love how you taste.”
“Easy, Jenny,” the doctor ground out. “I’m getting too close.”
“Do you want me to stop?” she asked abruptly, sounding a little embarrassed, and the doctor felt immediately bad for interrupting her while at the same time grateful to feel his arousal abate a little.
“I just need you to go easy, love,” he explained, trying to catch his breath. “Unfortunately, unlike you, I can’t come twenty times in half as many minutes, and I don’t want this to be over too soon.”
“I’m doing all right then?” Hope giggled happily, and he felt his heart swell with overwhelming tenderness at the joyful pride in her voice.
“All right is definitely not the term I’d use,” he chuckled. “More like phenomenal. Just like everything else you do.”
She was so incredibly sweet. He knew how shy she was when it came to dirty talk. Or rather sexy talk in her case – nothing dirty about it. While she would open herself up to him in every other way, give herself to him completely, she’d always been uncomfortable putting her feelings during sex, her wishes and desires, into words.
And yet, she’d done it for him today. Even though he knew she’d much rather do all those things to him than talk about them in such detail. The things she did to make him happy. He’d never understand why she’d chosen to love him of all people, but he thanked the powers that be every single day for being so blessed.
Hope had really just got into the swing of things when he’d stopped her, and he could hear her struggling to find the right words to get back to it now.
“Want me to take over?” he asked, taking pity on her, and almost laughed out loud at the sheer relief on her face, as she tried to casually nod and shrug.
No matter how much her ‘dirty talk’ had turned him on, it had nothing on the way his heart filled with love at simply watching Hope being Hope.
“All right, then,” McCoy smiled, “lie back down, close your eyes, and I’ll tell you what I’d like us to do next.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
“Okay,” Jenny agreed a little hesitantly.
She’d really wanted tonight to be all about him. But seeing as she’d brought him to the edge in practically no time, and feeling mighty proud about it, she understood that he wanted to draw out the experience as long as he could.
Besides, she couldn't deny feeling a little relieved to let him continue. What was so intensely stimulating coming from him, still sounded a little awkward coming out of her mouth.
“I wish you knew how much I love you, Jenny,” the doctor broke into her thoughts, and she could feel the warmth of his affection even across the distance. “Every time I think I couldn't love you more, you go and prove me wrong.”
“I feel exactly the same, Leonard,” she smiled, “and I can’t wait to have you back here and feel you for real.”
“Well, let’s make the most of it until then,” he replied softly, and she could practically hear the naughty grin spreading across his face without even looking up. “After what you just made me feel, let’s see, if I’ve still got it, too!”
Of course, he’d still got it, no doubt about that, Jenny thought fondly, feeling her panties growing damp just with the thrill of anticipation.
“Normally, I’d love to go down on you now,” McCoy drawled, and Jenny immediately felt her juices starting to flow and drench her panties, “savouring the taste of your wetness, exploring every little fold and crevice with my tongue, finding your little jewel and spending a looong time caressing it with just the tip of my tongue, nibbling on it, gently sucking on it with my lips, maybe carefully tease it a little with my teeth, before licking you to your first climax. The first of maaany.”
Jenny was rapidly losing all sense of time and space, her fingers frenziedly trying to put Leonard’s words into action, if only in a poor imitation of what the real thing would have felt like, the doctor’s erotic voice and the way he drew out his vowels exciting her no end.
“But,” McCoy continued softly, clearly enjoying teasing her, but audibly turned on immensely now, too, “I’m still teetering on the edge you’ve just put me on, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can last. In fact, I’ll have to find some way to actively block out this memory after tonight, or I’ll have to spend the rest of the symposium in permanent arousal.”
That did it. The idea of her words having aroused him so helplessly sent her freefalling into her first, tremendous orgasm of the night, gasping and moaning, her body spasming in delicious release, Leonard’s flushed face, scrunched up as he tried not to follow her over the edge just yet, somewhere at the periphery of her lust-clouded vision.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Watching Hope tumbling over the edge like that was beyond words. There was no greater turn-on than knowing he had the power to ‘pleasure her to pieces’, an expression she had once used in an attempt to try and describe what his touch was doing to her, and which had struck him as exactly what he wanted to do.
McCoy was usually quite good at keeping his own arousal at bay to give Hope as much pleasure as possible. But after how she’d set him on fire earlier, his endurance was weakened, and his desire overwhelming. There was no way he could last much longer, he was already fit to burst.
So the doctor waited just long enough for Hope to recover a little, then asked, “What would you like me to do now, love? I’m pretty sure I’m going to join you the next time already.”
That elicited a wicked grin from her, the idea of having aroused him beyond control seeming quite a turn-on.
“If you were here, I think I’d really love to feel you inside me, now, Leonard,” she breathed, her cheeks glowing as she looked at him from lowered lids.
“And how exactly would you go about that?” he wanted to know, feeling a new pool of lust forming in his groin.
“I’d straddle you,” she replied softly, indulging his wish to coax some more dirty-talk out of her, “push my panties a little to the side, and slowly rub myself against your hardness while softly nibbling on your neck.”
Hearing her words, the doctor involuntarily started to grind his hips, the movement as well as his breathing growing erratic when Hope teasingly added, “You know, that little spot right behind your ear, that makes you break out in goose bumps and gets you mewling.”
Dear God, she’s good! McCoy thought, feeling the big O building at warp speed, powerless to delay his climax any longer.
“I’m so wet and ready for you,” Hope moaned, and seeing her fingering herself as frenziedly as he was jerking off now, was almost more than he could take.
“Nearly there,” the doctor gasped.
And when Hope whimpered, “Grab my hips, bury your face between my breasts, and let me ride you to the most spectacular orgasm you ever had,” her body arching and spasming as her own climax rippled through her, it only took one more thrust into his hand for him to explode into easily one of the most spectacular orgasms of his life, just as Hope had wanted him to.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Three days later, McCoy was finally back on the Enterprise, lying in bed and tenderly holding his darling Hope, fast asleep in his arms after reliving their Valentine’s fantasy for real.
The doctor was under no illusion that her talking dirty would become a regular thing between them. And that was all right. It just wasn’t her. Besides, it wasn’t important. Making love to her was beyond compare even without. But she’d indulge him again every now and then, he knew her that well. And those rare occasions would be infinitely sweet.
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
The Night Before Christmas (Or: Don’t Start Without Me!)
A Star Trek Fic
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, Jenny Hope
Rating/Warnings: Explicit (M)
Tags: Romance, Love, Smut and Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content
Word Count: 4,747
Read it on AO3: The Night Before Christmas
Summary:
This is a very private story Hope and McCoy decided to share after I received several requests expressing interest in their more intimate affairs. 😉
Or simply put: a (missing) Hope and McCoy smut scene.
(Although you don’t have to be familiar with my other Hope/McCoy stories to enjoy this little one-shot.)
A little present 🎁 for everyone who mourns the lack of smutty details in my other Hope/McCoy fics.
Merry Christmas! 🎄
And to all of you who don’t celebrate Christmas – don’t worry, it’s not what this story is really about. It’s basically just a ‘naughty’ Hope/McCoy chapter.
You have been warned. 🙈😅 Enjoy! ❤️
Jenny was trying to get comfortable in the bed that suddenly seemed far too big for her alone. She couldn't believe she was spending tonight without Leonard. Especially, since they hadn’t seen much of each other for the past two weeks, either, and the evening had begun so promising.
It was Christmas Eve, and after Jenny had helped putting the finishing touches on the decorations for the big party tomorrow, she and Leonard had shared a lovely festive dinner with their friends, who’d sent them ‘home’ early with knowing smirks and not so subtle remarks, after the captain and Uhura had unanimously decided that they’d had enough of watching them ‘shamelessly making out’ all evening.
The Enterprise crew had had a tough month, with lots of adventure and surprises, to put it mildly, and Leonard had practically been living in sickbay, while Jenny had also had her hands full between work and helping prepare for the big Christmas party that had become the annual highlight for everyone aboard. Even the crewmembers who didn’t actually celebrate Christmas, just because it was one of those lovely human traditions that reminded them of Earth, or Earth colonies, which were home to most of the crew.
After dinner, Jenny and Leonard had all but raced along the ship’s corridors, with Leonard using the time in the turbolift to wrap her in his loving arms and make the most thrilling promises about all the things he was going to do to her once they were back in their quarters.
“Don’t start without me,” he’d murmured suggestively in her ear, before slipping back out the door to quickly go get his PADD, which he had accidentally left in sickbay, making her soak her panties with just those few words in that incredibly sexy voice of his.
That had been more than two hours ago, as not even a minute after he’d gone, he’d called her on her comm to let her know that he’d arrived just in time for yet another emergency, the disappointment in his voice easily matching her own. Clearly, she hadn’t been the only one hardly able to contain herself anymore.
For some time, Jenny had tried to distract herself by getting ready for his return. Tarting herself up, as her grandmother would have called it, indulging in a real water shower and slipping on the Christmassy underwear Nyota had talked her into buying during a recent starbase shopping spree. A silky shirt and matching panties that were sure to bring out the tiger in Leonard.
Then she’d made herself some tea and settled down on the couch with her PADD to read for a while, but soon found that there wasn’t much fun in wearing a seductive outfit without Leonard around to appreciate it. Particularly as, with his soft drawl and all the enticing promises still fresh in her ear, if anything, her arousal had only grown since he’d walked out the door.
So, with a sympathetic sigh, knowing that the poor doctor didn’t have that luxury and was, by now, most likely totally focused on whatever medical emergency had arisen, Jenny slid under the covers, closed her eyes, and conjured up his sweet, handsome face. Sex was certainly not what their love was built on, but she couldn't deny that making love to him had become a sweet addiction, and that they both got kind of restless and on edge if it had been too long. Which it definitely had.
Making love to Leonard was wonderful beyond description. Gentle and hot, tender and exciting, comforting and fulfilling. He was everything a woman could wish for, and he was all hers. He’d also been the first to show her how enjoyable physical love could be, tenderly and patiently guiding and teaching her, and it had become even better ever since.
The devotion with which he ‘worshipped her body’, as he called it, knowing exactly where and how she loved to be touched most, yet always searching for new ways to pleasure her, got her all flustered just thinking about. Not to mention the way he responded to her touches, making pleasuring him at least as rewarding as letting him drive her to ecstatic heights with his incredibly nimble fingers, lips and tongue.
Smiling to herself, Jenny thought how they’d still be ‘at it’ when they were both old and grey. She couldn't imagine a day when she wouldn’t find the doctor hot and wildly attractive anymore. One of his slow smiles, an almost indiscernible wink, or the gentle sound of his voice saying her name were all she needed to make her go weak in the knees.
Unnoticed, Jenny’s hand had found its way inside her panties, looking to ease the heat that thoughts of Leonard never failed to spark. She hadn’t wanted to ‘start without him’, but now she found she just couldn't stop. Gently writhing and slowly rolling her hips under the touch of her own fingers, she imagined Leonard expertly bringing her to the brink. But no matter how hard she tried, there was no way she could draw out her pleasure and tease herself as skilfully as he could. Instead, she was tumbling over the edge almost instantly.
Tensing up, Jenny came with a low moan, unable to pull her fingers away just yet, as the short relief immediately turned into desperate need again. Leonard always teased her about how, once he got her going, she just couldn't seem to get enough, taking great pleasure in the fact. And just picturing his enraptured gaze as he took her from one orgasm to another, made her climax again. And again. Until her fingers were too wet to apply enough friction, helplessly slipping around inside her drenched panties, and Jenny fell asleep, completely drained.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Tired and disappointed to have missed out on what had promised to become his best ‘Night Before Christmas’ yet, McCoy quietly slipped into his quarters to the titillating sight of his darling Hope fast asleep, bedcovers kicked aside, fingers wedged inside her panties, leaving no doubt about what she’d been up to before falling asleep and kindling instant desire in him.
Of course, he knew that women did that all the time. He was a doctor, dammit! And he’d been a lover before Hope was even born. Or would have been born, if she hadn’t already been born three centuries ago. God, the sight made him lose all power of coherent thought, while the bulge in his pants was threatening to burst through the material. And, of course, he’d fantasised about her doing it while thinking of him long before they’d become lovers. But Hope actually lying here like this, a breath-taking picture of silky red and lacy/fluffy white, cheeks still flushed a rosy pink from exertion, was by far the hottest thing he’d ever seen.
Picturing her in the act of pleasuring herself, McCoy didn’t doubt for a minute that she’d been thinking about him. He knew only too well that it had been him who’d taught her the physical pleasures of love in the first place. A fact she loved to remind him about frequently. And he could never get tired of hearing her tell him how, that first time, he’d made her feel pleasure like she’d never known before, and how, ever since, she’d been helpless to resist his touch, a single finger, or the simple flick of his tongue, enough to drive her crazy with desire.
Oh, how he longed to hear her tell him that now. In fact, he longed for much more than just that. What he really wanted, was to know exactly what she’d been thinking about. What she’d imagined him doing to her. Details of what she loved and enjoyed most. How she’d brought herself to orgasm. And how often. And, not least, what had aroused her so much it had caused her to touch herself to begin with.
Hope wasn’t big on dirty talk, or even on telling him what she liked or would like him to do. She just didn’t feel comfortable with it, happy to let him do all the talking. But she had a million other ways of showing him how she enjoyed his ministrations, that he’d come to appreciate at least as much. He could certainly never get enough of her little moans and gasps, or the way her body trembled and pressed against him with need and pleasure.
After quietly taking off his clothes and a quick trip to the bathroom, McCoy slid into bed next to Hope, stark naked, leaving the lights on low, so he could still enjoy her beauty and her incredibly hot outfit. She certainly knew how to turn him on beyond measure. It took all his self-control not to wake her, his desire almost getting the better of him. But looking at her relaxed and serene face, so peacefully asleep, he settled for taking matters into his own hands, literally. Imagining the things Hope might have done and thought about while he’d been tied up in sickbay.
He’d barely started touching himself, shivering as he ran his thumb lightly over the already slick tip of his erection, when his gaze fell on Hope’s hand still caught inside her panties, the naughty sweetness of it nearly killing him. This was his Hope, the light and love of his life, the wonderful woman who’d chosen to spend the rest of her days with him, and who never ceased to amaze and surprise him. Or arouse him. And that was the moment he decided that, with it being Christmas and all, it was practically his duty to wake her and show her how much better he could finish what she’d begun on her own.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny woke to the feeling of soft lips covering her face in little kisses, and the gentle touch of familiar fingers on her skin, lovingly caressing her hips and belly. Noticing with a start that her own fingers were still trapped in her panties, she felt herself blush furiously, totally embarrassed to have been caught ‘in the act’. But when she tried to pull her hand out, Leonard’s bigger one quickly gripped hers, keeping it in place.
“Don’t take your hand away, love,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, “I want you to keep it right there. To show me what you did. How you touched yourself. I want to watch you pleasuring yourself and maybe learn something new about you.”
She must have blushed even more at that, because Leonard pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and said with a smirk, “Don’t be shy, love! No need to be embarrassed! It’s really quite flattering to think that I left you so horny you couldn't wait. Finding you like this certainly made me so hard I briefly thought about following your example. And I’m not even talking about your stunning outfit, although I’m pretty sure there’s a law against wearing such a slinky little thing. But then I decided I’d rather wake you after all.”
“I’m glad you did,” Jenny smiled at the doctor, blinking the sleepiness away.
She was already incredibly turned on again just listening to his words, yet couldn't help feeling shy about touching herself in front of Leonard, even though it was perfectly clear how much the idea excited him. Just like she could never really bring herself to talk dirty to him, despite understanding why he’d love her to, seeing what his dirty talk unfailingly did to her.
So, deciding to humour him when he let go of her hand, Jenny gingerly started to draw little circles with her fingers inside her panties, unable to suppress a low moan as she noticed how wet she’d already become again, and eliciting a not so subtle groan from the doctor, who pressed a hot kiss on her lips before returning his lustful gaze to her nether regions.
“Don’t hold back, love,” he purred, gently stroking her thigh and rolling his hips in obvious arousal. “Show me how you make yourself feel good!”
Emboldened by how much Leonard was enjoying this, Jenny began to rub herself in earnest, her breath getting more erratic and her own hips starting to roll in time with her circling fingers, the doctor’s soft moans and encouraging words spurring her on.
“That’s it, love,” he murmured close to her ear, sounding a little breathless, “just let yourself go. Feels so good, doesn’t it? Your fingers going exactly where you need them, touching you just right.”
Leonard talking like that, fuelling her desire like only he could, was too much. Jenny forgot all about her inhibitions, bucking her hips and letting out a soft yelp as she came by her own fingers under the doctor’s mesmerised gaze, his hand sliding under her shirt and tenderly caressing her breasts, as she came off her high, gasping and trying to get her breathing back to normal.
“Do you do this often?” he asked softly, his eyes gleaming and his breath hot on her face, as his hand slid down her belly until it gently covered hers, still preventing it to pull out of her panties.
“I did, before we became lovers,” she confessed reluctantly, suddenly feeling shy again.
“And when you did, what were you fantasising about?”
The question alone was enough to set Jenny on fire again. Add Leonard’s bedroom voice, and she was helpless to keep her fingers from starting to move anew.
“About you, Leonard! Who else?” she sighed longingly, losing herself in his soulful eyes. “About you holding and kissing me.”
“Just holding and kissing, huh?” Leonard chuckled affectionately, brushing a tender, almost chaste kiss on her temple. “And that got you going?”
“Actually, it did!” Jenny blustered, momentarily distracted by the doctor’s undisguised mirth, her fingers losing their rhythm.
Leonard pressed another – less chaste – kiss on her lips, and, chuckling to himself once more, gently pushed her fingers aside.
“I’m taking over, love,” he smiled softly, and a moment later, Jenny’s whole body was on fire with unbridled desire.
-x-x-x-x-x-
“Oh my God!” Hope cried out, her body writhing under McCoy’s touch. “It’s so much better when you do it!”
The doctor felt a hot surge of pure lust ripple through him, thrilled by her keen response.
“Tell me, love, what exactly makes it so much better?” he tried to cajole her into a little dirty-talk after all, keeping his touches extra light, knowing perfectly well how that was driving her crazy.
“I just can’t last as long without you,” she confessed sheepishly, blushing adorably and drawing in a sharp breath every time he gently tapped her swollen nub. “I can’t help giving in to my need, where you would still endlessly torment me.”
“So, you love it when I tease you?” he probed, enjoying every word of this stimulating conversation. “When my touch is deliberately light and slow? Like this?”
Hope just nodded, groaning at his ‘demonstration’, his fingers easily gliding through the delicious wetness. It never ceased to amaze and delight him how responsive she was to every little one of his touches.
“When you’re begging me to let you come, you actually want me to keep you on the edge?”
“No! Please!” she cried, her thighs clamping around his hand, desperate for more friction.
“But I think you do,” McCoy kept on teasing her, knowing her well enough to see that she was already incredibly close and wondering how much longer he could still keep his own arousal at bay. “Why? Because it makes release infinitely sweeter the longer you’re denied?”
“You’re cruel!” Hope gritted out, bucking wildly against his hand now, her fingers scrabbling around the bedsheets for purchase.
“Maybe I am,” he whispered, starting to kiss her neck and nibble her ear, taking full advantage of knowing her body so well. “Or maybe I just want you to experience unprecedented pleasure.”
Hope was groping for McCoy’s hand now, getting hold of his wrist and gripping it hard. She always did this when his teasing got too much for her, and it never failed to amuse him how she really thought she was strong enough to force his hand into applying more pressure.
“But then again, perhaps I simply love having this power over your lust, over your body,” he grinned wickedly, enjoying nothing more than driving Hope to the heights of ecstasy, before going for the clincher, anticipating the exact effect his next words would have on her. “And, of course, you need to be punished for starting without me.”
That did it. That, and the skilled touch of a finger that, after months of experience and practice, had come to know Hope’s body inside out.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny hurtled over the edge into free fall, exploding into a million shards of pleasure, only realising the noise she was making when Leonard sealed her lips with a passionate kiss in an attempt to muffle her sounds of ecstasy the way he did every time after making her lose control, always a great source of amusement to him.
Admittedly, virtually every orgasm the doctor gave her felt like the best ever, but this time, Jenny was fairly sure it was true. She’d definitely come harder than she had ever before. And a second and third time, before the first climax had even subsided. It felt like getting caught in an endless stream of intense pleasure, the smug grin on Leonard’s face proof of how well he knew what he was doing to her, and how much he enjoyed it.
“My insatiable girl,” he smiled tenderly, brushing damp strands of hair from her flushed face, love and lust blending together in his beautiful eyes. “You have no idea how gorgeous you are. Or how hot it is to see you like this. And how exciting to know that I did this. That I can make you feel like this. That I can tease you to my heart’s content and make you feel pleasure almost too much for you to handle.”
Always staying humble, incredulous almost, despite being this amazing lover, was one of Leonard’s most endearing qualities.
“Just be careful it doesn’t get you more excited than you can handle,” Jenny giggled as soon as she’d caught her breath again.
And still high from her incredible flight of ecstasy, she gently took hold of Leonard’s pulsing erection, finding it rock-hard and fit to burst, and almost made him come at the first touch.
“Jesus! What are you doing to me young lady?” he groaned, and Jenny was thrilled to see that he had to squeeze his eyes shut in concentration to stave off his own imminent orgasm. “Go easy on an old man’s heart!”
“Too late, old man,” she laughed, enjoying being the one in charge for a change, giving his shaft a few firm strokes while lightly running the fingers of her other hand over his crown, teasing his slit and rim, and revelling in the groans, and grunts, and gasps, that her ministrations coaxed out of him, his whole body twitching and jolting with desperate, urgent need. “You brought this on yourself, Doctor! It’s time you got a good taste of your own medicine!”
Watching him come apart at the touch of her hands, Jenny’s heart was brimming over with tender love for the man who’d thrown himself into making this the night of her life, as if he hadn’t just spent exhausting hours in sickbay, dealing with whatever emergency had come up this time. Judging from his playful mood, she could at least be sure that everyone was all right again. She’d ask him all about it later, but for now she had another goal to accomplish. And that was to give him as much pleasure and satisfaction as she possibly could. He’d definitely more than earned it tonight.
Applying all the skills she’d acquired over time, having had months of exploring Leonard’s body and desires, she went on stroking and teasing, alternating between firm and light touches, one hand taking care of his throbbing erection, while the other gently played with his balls. The whole time, her eyes never left the doctor’s handsome face, adorably scrunched up with unbridled lust now, as he was lost in sweet, unbearable pleasure, visibly torn between needing to come so badly and never wanting the feeling to stop.
“I love you, Leonard!” Jenny whispered, leaning over to softly trail her lips from his cheekbone down to his jaw, making him shiver with need, and want, and longing.
“God, Jenny, I love you, too,” he sighed, his lips capturing hers in a deep kiss, and his hand slipping inside her panties again.
“Teasing me makes you even wetter it seems,” Leonard groaned, thrusting hard into Jenny’s hand a couple more times before pushing away abruptly and going down on her before she even knew what was happening.
“Oh my God you’ve never tasted better,” he mumbled, his mouth pressed against her core after having made quick work of her panties, and Jenny thought she might pass out from the intense desire he was arousing in her once more.
She started to grind against his face, so close again already, but the doctor easily pinned her hips down with his strong hands, thus putting a stop to her movements.
“I want to drink every last delicious drop of your juices, love,” he positively growled, “before I give you what you so desperately crave. But I promise you won’t regret it.”
And true to his word, after putting her through what felt like endless, overwhelming need, his lips, tongue, and even his teeth teasing her in every possibly way, he sent her higher than she’d ever been before, making one orgasm spill into the next, his mouth never leaving her most sensitive parts, humming and moaning as if he were indulging in the most deliciously tasting dessert.
Once again, Jenny couldn't help but admire how much control over his own body Leonard showed when it came to pleasuring her, patiently stroking, and caressing, and nibbling, and licking her through all of her orgasms and beyond, not stopping until she’d come back down from her incredible high, breathing hard and shivering with exhaustion.
As soon as he was sure that she was truly satisfied, however, he didn’t waste another moment before finally acting on his own raging need, sliding up her body in one swift move to kiss her mouth hungrily and bury himself deep inside her with a single thrust, knowing that she was wet enough to easily take him.
And, unable to maintain control over his lust any longer, Leonard came after only a few more thrusts with an almighty groan, a soft curse, and a completely misguided apology. A sad hang-up from his time with Jocelyn, that still needed a lot more of Jenny’s gentle reassurances and healing love to help him finally overcome it.
Having learned how to draw out Leonard’s pleasure, Jenny clenched around his length, still buried deep inside her, eliciting more moans and gentle swearing from him, and making him throw back his head one last time before finally collapsing on top of her, breathless and drained, barely able to keep his weight off her.
“God almighty, you’re something else young lady,” he panted, the tender contentment in his eyes melting her heart. “I should really know by now that teasing you always backfires.”
Jenny laughed delightedly, wrapping her arms tightly around him and rolling them over on their sides. She didn’t mind his weight at all, in fact, enjoyed feeling him blanketing her. He wasn’t a heavy man. But she knew that he was always afraid to crush her and couldn’t really relax like that.
“This was amazing, Leonard!” she sighed, shifting even closer and nestling tightly into his arms. “But even so, I think I prefer you not being called away, so that we can ‘start together’.”
“I’m absolutely with you there, love,” he chuckled, “even though every night with you is amazing, no matter how we start or what we do. I sure am the luckiest man alive.”
“Just as I am the luckiest woman alive,” Jenny replied, gazing deeply into his eyes to make him see how sincere she was.
-x-x-x-x-x-
And McCoy knew that she really meant it. That was the best part of loving Hope. She didn’t play games. Not power games, and not any other kind. She was always straightforward. Genuine and sincere through and through. With her, you got exactly what you saw. At least he did. Maybe she could still fool someone who didn’t know her so well. She did have a tendency to hide her troubles behind her cheerful personality, after all.
But he could usually tell, if she was truly happy or not, and she’d more or less given up on trying to pretend with him, accepting that he’d much rather worry about her than find out too late that he hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed him. And he could always be sure that when she said she liked something, she really did. And when she was angry with him, or disappointed, she’d just say so, too. Simple as that. Being with her was just so easy. He’d never been so comfortable in a relationship before. Or so happy. Or so in love.
That didn’t mean she didn’t stress him, of course. In fact, aside from being his sunshine and the joy of his life, she was also a nearly constant source of worry for him, almost as bad as Jim in attracting danger. Or strange blows of fate. But it was all worth it. She was worth it. He’d gladly take on all the worrying in the world, if it meant having her love.
Because Hope’s love, boundless and unconditional, was one of the few certainties in his life. The one thing he had complete and utter faith in and knew he could always depend upon. Whatever she saw in him, he’d given up trying to understand, simply accepting that she believed him to be worthy of her affections and had given him her heart to hold and take care of.
McCoy might be afraid of losing her, considering all the dangers that came with living and working in space, but never of losing her love. And he’d certainly never stop doing everything in his power to make her, if not the luckiest, then hopefully the happiest woman alive.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny watched Leonard’s eyes grow soft, as he let his loving gaze roam all over her body. She knew that look well. He always had it when she paid him a compliment or told him how much she loved him. Especially after they’d just made love. It was a look of blissful happiness mixed with wonder, and it never failed to tug at her heartstrings.
Leonard was every woman’s dream, in and out of the bedroom. And while he was confident enough as a doctor and scientist, and also as a lover, she knew that he still felt undeserving when it came to being loved. Jocelyn really had a lot to answer for, and Jenny was glad that she had a whole lifetime to convince Leonard of his own worth. To make him see what an amazing man he really was.
His gaze finally returning to her face after having lingered on her Christmas outfit for a considerable amount of time, Jenny saw a naughty grin spread across the doctor’s face.
“Tonight has turned out amazing after all, love, hasn’t it?” he smiled, kissing her tenderly on the lips. “But knowing you as I do, we’re not done yet.”
The mischievous grin on his face grew even wider, as his fingers started toying with the hem of her silky shirt and slowly making their way further down from there.
“I’m exhausted, Leonard!” Jenny laughed, trying to brush his hand away.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to check that myself. I can’t just take your word for it!” he replied in his no-nonsense CMO voice, before adding in a softer tone, “You are my insatiable girl after all, and I’m sure you’ll understand that, as your doctor, I couldn't afford to be negligent in my duties!”
“Believe me, Leonard,” Jenny giggled, as the doctor’s fingers gently probed between her thighs, and he broke into a knowing smile, “I’m totally spent! You made sure of that only a minute ago, remember? I couldn’t even ... ah ... oh my God!”
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: The Crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701)
Rating/Warnings: None
Tags: Romance, Friendship, Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Angst/H/C, Caring/Protective/Tender/Comforting/Happy/Grumpy/Worried McCoy
Word Count: This is a long one. Again. 😄 (71 chapters - 177k)
Read it on AO3: Another Life
Chapter 71
Jenny opened her eyes, blinking leisurely in the dark and brushing a few strands of tousled hair from her face. Her dream was fading fast, gone before she had a chance to hang on to it, but at least she was sure that it hadn’t been a nightmare. And surprisingly, for the first time in quite a while, she actually felt rested. Or maybe not so surprisingly at all. She’d wanted the truth, she’d got the truth, albeit a rather devastating one. But at least it had put an end to all the guessing, the uncertainty. Anything was better than not knowing what was happening to her and why, even though the answers she’d longed for seemed to be raising even more questions.
Leonard’s warm hand was resting protectively on her hip, and, sighing contentedly, she carefully turned towards him, sensing the soft expression on his face rather than making it out, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Tenderly regarding the doctor’s face, as he puffed out gentle snores, obviously exhausted but seeming content to be lying next to her, her initial feeling of guilt over having pushed him away and kept him from his own bed last evening gradually gave way to grateful love so intense, it brought tears to her eyes.
All of a sudden, what had seemed so overwhelming and scary yesterday, didn’t seem all that daunting anymore. True, she might not be who she’d thought she was. But Leonard had been right. If she stopped to think about it, she didn’t really feel any different at all. No different from the way she had ever since waking up in this century. Or even only just a day ago. The only difference was that she knew the truth about herself now. But other than that, she still felt exactly the same. Real, solid, human in every way.
Whatever had happened to her, whoever she’d been before, fact was that she’d suddenly found herself in the 23rdcentury with no choice but to start over. She’d been forced to build a completely new life for herself, and, thankfully, it had turned out wonderful. Despite having had to catch up on a few hundred years, she’d achieved good qualifications, had already made a name for herself in her chosen field of linguistics, and her Starfleet career was progressing nicely, too. She’d even been cleared for starship duty despite her shortcomings.
And as for her private life, that simply couldn't be any better. She’d made wonderful friends in this century, found a new home on the Enterprise, and, most amazingly by far, she’d found love. True, unconditional love. The kind she’d always thought existed only in books and movies. Until Leonard had shown her that it could happen in real life, too. Proving it to her in a million ways, day after day.
She might not yet remember much about her ‘other’ life, assuming the memories she was only just regaining were hers – Jenny still wasn’t clear about that. But she was absolutely sure that neither she nor her alter ego had ever been happier than she was now with this precious gem of a man by her side.
Just as she was about to wipe a few emotional tears from her face, strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her into the warmest hug.
“How’re you feeling, love?” Leonard murmured in her ear, his voice deep and gravelly from sleep, and she felt a thrill, realising how lucky she was to get to hear him like this.
“Hungry,” was the first thing that came to mind, and it was true.
The doctor’s chest rumbled with a chuckle in response, as he craned his neck to look at the time.
“It’s the middle of the night,” he laughed, nuzzling her hair and ordering the lights on. “But how about those sandwiches now?”
Jenny nodded eagerly, lifting her head to look into Leonard’s eyes, which were still a little unfocused from only just having woken up, and immediately lost herself in their softness and warmth, revealing his joy at finding her feeling better again.
“You look well-rested, love,” Leonard smiled, tenderly running his fingers through her hair.
“I am,” she confirmed, beaming at him, then softly added, “But only because someone kindly decided to come to bed and hold me through all my strange dreams, even though I turned him away earlier tonight.”
“I couldn’t have stayed away any longer,” the doctor sighed, gently cupping her cheeks in his hands and gazing deep into her eyes.
“I’m sorry I made you,” Jenny whispered, guiltily burying her face in his neck.
“Don’t be,” Leonard murmured, tenderly ruffling her hair. “You needed space. That’s perfectly normal in your situation. You have to find your own way of dealing with this. I’ll support whatever you feel is right for you.”
“Thank you,” she breathed, her heart brimming over at his infinite kindness and understanding. “You know, sometimes I really think you have a better idea of what I need than I do!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” the doctor chuckled, clasping her tightly to him, “but I do know that you need tons of hugs and tender touch, and I happen to have loads to give.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Releasing her from his embrace when she started to giggle and wheeze exaggeratedly, McCoy sat up and grudgingly swung his legs out of bed. He felt like he’d only just fallen asleep, but finding Hope so chipper, he saw his chance to talk to her about Section 31.
While Hope busied herself making coffee, the doctor took all the ingredients he needed from the small stasis unit and set about fixing the promised sandwiches. He’d never bothered with food in his quarters in the past, always eating in the mess or, if there was no time, making do with a little snack in his office. But ever since Hope had moved in, he’d taken to keeping a small stash of supplies just in case. With her poor eating habits, he wanted to be prepared to feed her whenever he got the chance. Like right now, in the middle of the night.
Fondly shaking his head, he reached out for her and roped her into his arms until she was flush against him, smiling up at him with a questioning gaze.
Talk about having one’s life turned upside down, he thought affectionately.
Hope was certainly not the only one. His life had been turned upside down the moment he’d laid eyes on her, and he’d loved every minute since.
“How can you still love me just the same after finding out I’m not ... me?” she asked softly, looking him straight in the eye.
“How could I not?” he countered, his heart clenching at the question. “Besides, to me you are still you! Amazing, wonderful you. Whoever you might or might not have been before, you’re still exactly the same woman I met and fell in love with. And contrary to your belief that you’re suddenly only half a person, or lacking in something, or whatever it feels like for you, I can only keep assuring you that you are as complete, as whole, as real as anyone could possibly be. And I know that for a fact, as your doctor and as your friend.”
Hope wasn’t really questioning his love, they both knew that. But right now, she needed to hear all those reassurances over and over again, and, of course, he was more than happy to oblige.
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound like a broken record,” she apologised sheepishly, and McCoy filed the curious expression away to follow up later, used to her employing the strangest metaphors by now, “but those same questions are going to bother me for a while longer, I fear.”
“I know, love”, he replied gently, tightening his arms around her and kissing the tip of her nose. “And anything else would really have me worried, believe me. But you’ll always have me to talk to and reassure you. And I’ll certainly never stop reminding you how wonderful you are, and how much I love you.”
The doctor turned back to his sandwiches, and Hope took their coffees over to the couch, curling up comfortably and wrapping herself in her favourite fleecy robe, a far too big, fluffy cloud of little stars and planets. It had originally been his, a present from Joanna when she was still a little girl, but Hope had more or less appropriated it for herself and, admittedly, looked adorable in it.
“So, you’re feeling more like yourself again,” McCoy said lightly, setting down the plates on the coffee table and collapsing onto the couch next to her. “It’s good to see the colour back in your cheeks, and the light back in your eyes!”
Hope’s gaze drifted off into the distance for a moment, and he was almost afraid he’d said something wrong, but then her lips curled into a smile, and she looked up at him with the warmest expression on her face.
“Actually, I’m feeling terrific,” she beamed at him, “because I’ve realised that all these weird … accidents turned out to be the best thing that could ever have happened to me.”
“Oh? How’s that?” the doctor asked, smiling at her sudden euphoria, even as he mentally prepared himself for the next kick in the teeth, aware that mood swings were typical of the post-traumatic recovery process and setbacks were inevitable.
“Because they brought me to you,” she explained solemnly, snuggling against him. “To find love I never even knew existed before I met you. If there’s any reason for what I went through, any sense in what happened to me at all, it was for you and me to meet.”
“I’m awfully sorry for everything you had to go through, love,” he replied softly, ignoring the lump in his throat. “And I’m heartbroken over the fact that I wasn’t there when you needed me most. But I confess I’m also eternally grateful to fate for bringing you to me. I’d given up on love long before you even woke up in this century, and I certainly never expected to be so blissfully happy one day.”
“Me neither,” Hope mumbled contentedly into his chest. “And I’ll try to keep that in mind when I’m tempted to bemoan my fate the next time I’m faced with new memories – or truths.”
“And I’ll be there to help you through them all,” McCoy promised, choking up a little and hoping she wouldn’t notice. “You’ll never have to face anything on your own again.”
They didn’t move or talk for a couple of minutes, just holding each other and revelling in the warmth and tenderness between them, until Hope finally pulled away, sitting up straight to take a sip of her coffee.
“We wouldn’t want to let those delicious sandwiches go to waste, now, would we?” she smiled, batting her eyelashes at him. “Handmade by the ship’s CMO, no less!”
“We certainly wouldn’t want that!” he agreed, raising a mock-appalled eyebrow and smiling widely before taking a huge bite from his sandwich at the same time she did.
His heart filled with joy at seeing her cheerful self shining through again, if only just temporarily. This was too big for even her to bounce back from right away. They still had a long way to go. But Hope wouldn’t be Hope, if she weren’t fighting to recover her equilibrium as quickly as possible. Positivity was her driving force. Being happy and, above all, spreading happiness were second nature to her, and one of the many reasons why he loved and admired her so much.
And sure enough, the doctor felt a tremendous wave of happiness surge through him, just watching her tuck into her sandwich with gusto. Like so often before, the sheer intensity of the tenderness he felt for this woman took his breath away. And he wanted to hold on to the feeling forever. It was pure magic. Hope was.
A few breadcrumbs had got caught in her hair, and McCoy reached out to flick them away, letting his hand linger a moment to caress her face and enjoy the way she instantly leaned into his touch. Like she always did, he thought fondly. And just like she’d already instinctively done during her very first physical, capturing his heart from the word go.
When he dropped his hand back to his knee, Hope covered it with hers, softly running her thumb across his knuckles and gazing at his fingers for the longest time, completely lost in thought.
“What’s on your mind, love?” he asked after a while, gently squeezing her fingers to get her attention. “Anything you’d like to share?”
“Oh, I was just thinking how much I love your hands,” she smiled, her eyes still glued to his fingers. “Your beautiful, comforting, healing hands. So strong and steady, so soft and gentle. So tender, so skilled, so giving.”
The doctor listened, mesmerised, looking at his hands and trying to see them through her eyes. Only Hope would come up with something like this, of course, but knowing how she thrived on touch, it wasn’t actually that surprising, and immediately filled him with a strong desire to put those hands to good use and give her all the comfort and tender love she craved.
-x-x-x-x-x-
When Jenny finally tore her eyes away from Leonard’s hands, she caught him gazing at her with this mixture of tender adoration and poorly disguised worry, that immediately told her he wanted to discuss something and didn’t know how to broach the subject.
“What is it, Leonard?” she asked, leaning in for a kiss. “What are you so desperate to tell me?”
He tried to look surprised for a moment, but quickly decided that there was no use pretending. She knew him too well.
“Nothing gets by you, does it?” he chuckled, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips.
“Go on, then!” Jenny smiled encouragingly. “I’ve just had a delicious sandwich, and there’s still coffee in my cup. If you’re going to hit me with yet more disturbing news, I’m ready as I’ll ever be!”
“No more ‘news’, love,” the doctor was quick to assure her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you again. But there’s something else we need to address. Section 31. I’m not sure you realise how important it is that we keep your newly found memories between us.”
Ah, that.
“Don’t worry,” she gave him a reassuring look, “I’m aware that Section 31 wouldn’t be happy for me to draw attention to them or the way they ‘handle’ things.”
Leonard didn’t seem satisfied with her reaction. Leaning forward, he gripped both of her shoulders and brought his face close to hers, his gaze as serious and intent as she’d ever seen him.
“Listen Jenny,” he said imploringly, “this is important! You mustn’t talk about those memories to anyone. Do you understand? Not to Nyota, not to Pavel, or Christine or Scotty. No one other than Jim, Spock and myself. Talk to me as much and as often as you want to. Or need to. Share every little detail of every new memory with me. I’ll love it! Talk to Jim and Spock anytime. Hell, meld with Spock, if it helps, but don’t involve anyone else. I’m afraid you’ll also have to do with me as your therapist in this.”
Jenny looked at him mildly, incredibly touched by his concern and fierce protectiveness that never failed to bring home just how deep and unswerving his love was.
“I know you think I’m exaggerating because I’m an old worrywart,” the doctor went on with a sigh, sitting back and running a distracted hand through his hair. “And because you want to be carefree again after all this time. It’s perfectly understandable, and I really wish you could. Nothing would make me happier. But please, love, please believe me that this is serious. Please don’t take it lightly. Promise me!”
“Are you done now?” Jenny asked softly, resting her hands reassuringly on his arms. “Of course, I promise, Leonard! I may be inclined to see opportunities where you see danger, but I’m not stupid. I heard what you said, and I get it. I wish I could take all your worries away, and I hate that I’m the cause of so many of them in the first place, but my being careless in this matter is one concern you don’t need to have. And for the record, I might not always share your fears, but I always, always take them seriously.”
She shuffled a little closer and took his face between her hands, wanting him to see the sincerity in her eyes.
“And right now, seeing you so tense and beside yourself with worry for me, I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more.”
The words, meant to soothe and reassure Leonard, were barely out, when Jenny broke down in his arms, her own emotions finally getting the better of her. Clinging to him like to a lifeline as he caught her, grateful to feel his strong, loving arms closing tightly around her, she couldn’t stop the big, heavy tears from falling, that were suddenly flooding her eyes.
It wasn’t fear, that finally made her crumble, or sadness, or even anger. She simply felt overwhelmed. Not just by the events and emotions of the past 24 hours. But also by those of the days before. Weeks, even, if she counted all those broken nights with their recurring nightmares. Overwhelmed as much by having her life, her whole existence, called into question, as by all the incredible love, support, and kindness she’d been experiencing.
Leonard’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, his whole body enfolding her, sheltering her, and she could feel him shaking. Was he crying, too? Or was that just her, shaking with long, racking sobs? She couldn't tell, and it didn’t matter. They were one. Her tears were his tears. His fears were her fears. It felt as if they were melting into each other. Not a mind meld, but an emotional one. Never before had she felt so close to anyone. So connected. So loved. So whole.
Epilogue
“The captain and I might have found a way to take Lt. Hope back to the past and reintegrate her. I have discovered an anomaly in the space-time continuum, headed for Earth right now, that should help us accomplish that. However, the opportunity will not present itself again within the next 20 years, and given that …”
“What he means to say, Bones, is that this might be our only chance for a long time to do this. I’m sorry, I know it’s very soon, but before we investigate the possibility any further and include Scotty, because we couldn't do it without him, we need to know if she, if you, would even want us to go ahead.”
“As you know, Doctor, the situation is in no way comparable to the captain’s predicament after beaming back from planet Alpha 177.1) Quite obviously, there is no immediate danger for Hope. She is a complete and healthy person, not missing half of her qualities, half of her personality. But the approach we’ve come up with to reintegrate her would be similar. Anyway, the decision would have to be made within the next 48 hours, since the anomaly will only be there for a very limited period. And allowing for the time needed to get Hope to Earth …”
“Yeah, yeah, Spock, I get it, it’s urgent. Give me a minute to get my head around this, and I’ll go talk to her right away.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
Visions of dead little canines on transporter platforms1) and lonely old country doctors danced before McCoy’s eyes, as he blindly made his way through the corridors, unable to even imagine life without Hope anymore.
Life without hope, indeed!
He was only human! How was he supposed to talk to her about this without bias? Advise her on doing something that was possibly dangerous and definitely breaking his heart, yet might prove equally unsafe for her not to do?
When the doctor entered his quarters, still clueless as to the best way of addressing the matter, yet determined to get it over with quickly, he found the lights set to low and Hope already in bed. She had her eyes closed, lips slightly apart, and he thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful.
His whole life, everything he could ever need or want, was lying right there in front of him, and his heart didn’t know whether to melt or break as he quietly sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Jenny? Love?” he whispered, but the only answer he got was a soft grunt and a tiny hint of a smile as she turned her face a little towards him.
She had returned with a landing party from a high-gravity planet only a couple of hours ago, and they’d all come back pretty bushed. McCoy quietly changed out of his uniform and slid into bed, smiling when Hope opened a sleepy eye and gave his arm a little nudge, demanding he open it for her to nestle into.
“I’m knackered,” she mumbled drowsily into the crook of his neck, snuggling comfortably up against him. “The gravity down there was really something else.”
“Nothing that a good night’s sleep and a cuddle won’t cure,” the doctor chuckled, tenderly stroking her hair.
“Was there anything you wanted to talk about?”
“Shhh … That can wait until tomorrow. Just go back to sleep and let me hold you.”
“Mmmmmh! My favourite place in the whole wide world,” Hope murmured, nestling even closer into his arms, then softly added, “Don’t ever let me go again!!”
-x-x-x-x-x-
1) Reference to the TOS episode “The Enemy Within”
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
Another Life - a Star Trek fic - (Chapters 66 - 70)
Sequel to ‘On Borrowed Time’
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: The Crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701)
Rating/Warnings: None
Tags: Romance, Friendship, Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Angst/H/C, Caring/Protective/Tender/Comforting/Happy/Grumpy/Worried McCoy
Word Count: This is a long one. Again. 😄 (71 chapters - 177k)
Read it on AO3: Another Life
Chapter 66
“Well,” Dakunia sighed, “they couldn't just return her to her own time, for obvious reasons, but they were still hoping to find a way to somehow reverse the effect and ‘reintegrate’ her. So they spun her a tale about some rare and aggressive kind of leukaemia, conveniently one that caused hallucinations and blackouts, and kept her isolated and mostly sedated to perform all kinds of medical tests on her, while Starfleet’s finest engineers and scientists were working on the technical side of things. She never even realised she’d been catapulted two centuries into the future. A hospital will always look like a hospital, I guess.”
McCoy didn’t appreciate the admiral’s weak attempt at humour. He was beyond appalled. Just the thought of how lost and scared Hope must have felt, finding herself hospitalised and faced with a deadly disease without so much as her family around for support, was breaking his heart. Yet, he tried to keep focused on Dakunia’s account, pushing aside all images of Hope being ‘medically tested’ with the means and methods of a century ago.
“When they still weren’t any closer to a breakthrough a couple of weeks later,” the admiral went on quietly, clearly avoiding to meet anyone’s eye now, “they decided to put her in stasis for the time being. With no danger of her disappearance causing harm to our timeline, she was little more than collateral damage to them. Basically, all Starfleet did was to have time travel prohibited altogether, and then, as time went by and other projects took priority, all but forgot about Hope, leaving her ‘shelved’, in case someone stumbled on a solution one day.”
By now, McCoy’s blood was boiling with helpless rage and disgust, and he was hardly able to keep the angry tears at bay, that were starting to form in his eyes. This kind and wonderful woman, who meant the world to him, who’d been put in this terrible and frightening position through no fault of her own, who’d depended on these people’s help and care, and, knowing her, probably trustingly so, had simply been dismissed as collateral damage. Low priority. Deprived of all human rights, of a life. Shelved!
“Like some goddamn specimen!” he snarled, casting a dismayed glance at Kirk, and finding a bit of comfort in seeing his friend’s face darken with the same outrage he felt.
“You’d really think that people, Starfleet, less than a century ago would have been more enlightened,” the captain snapped, glaring at Dakunia. “What way is that to treat a life?”
“I know, Jim,” the admiral responded dejectedly, eyes still cast down. “What can I say? The first I ever heard about any of this, was only after you’d successfully restored Captain John Christopher1) to his own time, and Hope was taken out of stasis to be restored to her time in the same way.”
Even Spock was leaning forward in his chair now, clearly intrigued, and possibly appalled, by all the unexpected turns Dakunia’s account of Hope’s past had taken.
“Needless to say, it didn’t work out,” Dakunia continued, grimacing. “Apparently, Hope’s case is not comparable to Christopher’s after all. So, suddenly finding myself in charge of the highly classified ‘Hope Project’, there was no way I was allowing the scared girl to be put back in stasis, of course. But I didn’t want to condemn her to a life as guinea pig, a specimen as you called it, Doctor, either.”
The admiral’s eyes found McCoy’s, conveying what seemed to be genuine concern for Hope.
“She’s so young and brilliant, far too precious to be regarded as some sort of experiment, some unexplored life form. But then, of course, no one deserves to spend their life as a lab rat. Luckily, records weren’t kept as diligently in the last century as they’re now, ensuring that only a handful of people knew about Hope and the closer circumstances surrounding her in the first place. So, I was able to spare her that fate. Up to now, that is.”
McCoy had been hanging on every word the admiral had said and was struggling to find his voice, his mouth dry as a Vulcan desert, and his heart threatening to pound its way out of his chest. He was far from ready to forgive Dakunia yet, but he did feel more lenient towards him than only minutes ago.
“So, you stuck to this hare-brained leukaemia story,” the doctor rasped. “And you weren’t entirely lying, when you told her that keeping shtum about it all was for her best. In fact, you most probably did save her from a miserable existence and gave her the chance to actually live. Shame you forgot to consider what keeping all of this to herself would do to her psychologically. Emotionally.”
“I’m sorry about that, Doctor,” the admiral acknowledged remorsefully, “and I’ve felt guilty about it ever since we last talked more than a year ago. But I’m no psychologist, and Hope always seemed to take everything in her stride, happy, in fact, to be here and alive, eager to make the most of her ‘second chance’. And when she turned out a gifted linguist and an impressively quick study to boot, I suggested a career in Starfleet for her, convincing everyone else in the know that this would give her the opportunity to live a normal life, while still making it possible for us to keep a close eye on her.”
Through all the pain McCoy felt on Hope’s behalf, he also felt a sudden surge of gratitude. To Dakunia, and to fate, for bringing her to the Enterprise and into his life. For giving him the chance to take care of her. To ease and maybe even make up for some of the emotional hurt that had been inflicted on her.
“But how could you keep the truth even from her?” Kirk wanted to know, looking accusingly at Dakunia.
“I,” the admiral hesitated, looking a little embarrassed, “thought it kinder not to tell her. A mistake, maybe. But she wasn’t aware that almost a century had passed since her initial tests, and we never anticipated her to remember anything past her physical age to contradict our version of her history. Another mistake, obviously, and the very reason I had to contact you immediately. Because if word comes out, it will not only pique the interest of scientists throughout the Federation and beyond, but it will also bring her back to the attention of Section 31. So far, she’s been classified as ‘inconsequential’. But now that those memories have emerged, who knows what other surprises are lying dormant within her. Section 31 doesn’t like the ‘unknown’, and they certainly don’t like ‘loose ends’.
McCoy felt a chill running down his spine, the implications of what the admiral had just casually mentioned too terrifying to even consider.
“So, that would leave exploring the phenomenon and monitoring its effects on Hope to us here on the Enterprise, I assume?” Spock spoke up. “Since those memories exist, and are surfacing, they cannot simply be ignored. But we can certainly limit knowledge of Lt. Hope’s personal circumstances to a minimum of confidants.”
“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” Dakunia was actually smiling now. “That’s exactly what I was hoping for. I have no idea how, but she must still have been connected to her counterpart in some way after the separation. All I know is that when we first talked to her, she was just a young girl, who simply wanted to go back to her parents, her friends, to university.”
McCoy had to close his eyes and clench his teeth hard not to lose his poise. Remembering the timid girl sitting on his biobed during her first physical, he could just picture Hope shyly asking to go home, only to learn that that would never be possible again. Had anyone even bothered to comfort her then? To tell her that she’d be all right? That she’d be taken care of? Maybe even taken her in their arms and held her for a minute? He guessed not. It was more likely that she’d just been given the cold facts, and then been left to come to terms with her new situation on her own. No wonder she’d never wanted to talk about those first few days and weeks. All the love and security he could give her would never be enough to make up for what she’d been through.
“Perhaps the part of her, that already existed in 1991, was somehow extracted, yet retained echoes of her older self’s mind,” Spock mused, all eyes on him now. “A mirror, or an image of what Vulcans would call her ‘katra’, maybe.”
“Does she have any memories beyond 2016?” the admiral asked on impulse.
“We have no idea, she’s barely begun to remember the time before!” McCoy grumbled irritably, struggling to keep from breaking down under all the new fears and worries he’d just been burdened with, in front of the others.
It was still going to happen, of course, once he’d had time to actually digest everything Dakunia had told them. Although it had better not. He couldn't afford to break down, not when Hope needed him most. He’d have to be strong for her. His amazing fiancée had been nothing but strong ever since she’d woken up in this century, but even she had her limits. Now it was his turn to be strong for her.
“What we do know,” Spock offered, “is that, apart from the love for her children, she remembers places, music, literature, basically all innocuous, positive or neutral, non-personal things after 1991.”
“I’m no expert, and no psychologist, as we’ve already established, but has it occurred to you that Hope herself might have repressed her personal memories for some reason?” the admiral ventured a guess. “Maybe because she’s much happier in her new life and wouldn’t even want to go back? I, for one, am very glad that she’s found a new home on the Enterprise and has your unfailing support, gentlemen. She certainly deserves it. And I certainly made the right decision, when I saw her disappointment at not being cleared for starship duty and, knowing what an asset she would be to your crew, entrusted her to you, Jim.”
“You actually care for her, don’t you?” McCoy asked, suddenly seeing the admiral with new eyes, and feeling genuinely grateful for everything he’d done for Hope.
“I do,” Dakunia confessed softly. “She impressed the hell out of me the first time I met her.”
Same here, the doctor thought fondly.
“This girl,” the admiral went on, smiling at the memory, “this slip of a thing, disoriented, fragile, lost and scared, cut off from everything and everyone she’d known. Yet, underneath her vulnerability, there was this feistiness, this boundless strength and optimism. The determination to keep going, holding her head high, eager to learn and make the best of her situation. Dead set on seeing everything as an adventure rather than a misfortune. And never an angry word, no self-pity, no looking for someone to blame. No, she was always friendly and polite, always accommodating. She never once doubted the leukaemia story either, and even thanked us for curing her. That really made me feel uncomfortable, believe me. So, I made it my mission to help her in any way I could. To make it possible for her to live the life she deserved. And finding her such a brilliant, talented young lady made things easier, of course. I just couldn’t let some random, ancient medical issues take away her chances.”
For the first time since the beginning of their conference, McCoy smiled. A genuine, heartfelt smile, directed at Dakunia, no less.
“One more thing,” the doctor suddenly remembered to ask. “Can Hope get access to the rest of her personal belongings? I recall her mentioning that Starfleet is holding back some of her things.”
“Oh, there’s obviously been a misunderstanding, I’m afraid,” Dakunia looked apologetically at McCoy. “We’re not holding back any actual belongings. There’s nothing more than the things she had on her when she first … er … arrived in the 22nd century. A small suitcase holding some clothes and a few other items, that’s it. Apparently, she was just about to go on vacation when she was … snatched away, or she wouldn’t even have that. But I have accumulated quite an extensive collection of data about her old life. Before and after. Her career, her personal life, her family, including audio and visual material. I’ll have them sent to you at the next opportunity.”
The doctor nodded his thanks, sorry to have to add yet another disappointment to Hope’s growing list. Although it probably didn’t really matter anymore, it somehow pained him to think that her well-loved pink elephant, a picture of two girls she’d once known, and a couple of flower-print dresses were indeed everything she’d possessed when she’d started out on her new life.
Jim must have had a similar train of thought, because he tentatively asked, “What about her financial resources? I don’t mean to pry, but after what we’ve just learned, I don’t suppose she has any funds to speak of? How could she even afford the Academy?”
McCoy had to smile at the open concern on his friend’s face. Seeing other people care about and look out for Hope, too, always sent a comforting warmth to his heart. And he had to admit that he shared that particular concern. Although she’d never appeared to be, and certainly had never complained about wanting for anything, he’d long suspected that Hope’s funds were rather limited. But she’d just skirted around the subject, whenever he’d tried to ask her about it, and so he hadn’t been able to do more for her than pay for the odd meal on shore leave. She’d always been very modest, not seeming to need a lot, and he liked that about her. But now he couldn't help wondering, if she’d come by that quality not entirely by choice.
“We took care of her Academy fees, board and lodging, of course,” Dakunia answered Kirk’s question, “but I also set up a small kind of reparation fund for her, as I think of it. Not a lot, mind you, little enough not to draw attention, and certainly not enough to actually make amends for what we’ve done to her, not that that could even be measured in credits. But it helped towards leading a normal life. You know, buy some nice clothes, go out with friends, that sort of thing. Although there’s still most of it left. She’s not a big spender.”
“Figures,” the captain grinned, casting McCoy a warm glance. “Anything else wouldn’t fit in with the Hope we know and love.”
“I guess it wouldn’t,” the admiral smiled back, “she certainly is a lovely, and very special lady. And you can be sure that I’ll keep doing my best to protect her. But even so, I need you to understand that if word gets out about her unexpected memories, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep the bloodhounds off for very much longer.”
“We understand, Sir,” Kirk confirmed formally, looking satisfied at Dakunia’s assurance to continue his endeavours to protect Hope. “We’ll keep you informed, but other than that, no word about any of this is leaving the Enterprise. We’d never do anything that might put Hope in danger.”
“Very well,” the admiral replied, and if McCoy had any doubt left about his sincerity, the undisguised relief on Dakunia’s face took that away. “And please remember, gentlemen, Hope may have the memories of a woman twice her age, maybe even some of her wisdom. But when it comes down to it, she’s still a very young woman, only just starting out and gaining experience.”
McCoy felt his heart melt at Dakunia’s words. It was exactly how he felt about Hope, too. How he had, in fact, always felt, even before he’d known the whole truth about her. No matter how much he admired and respected her, even relied on her, she’d always be his girl. His to take care of. And his to love and cherish forever.
1) Reference to the TOS episode “Tomorrow Is Yesterday”.
Chapter 67
When the conference with Dakunia had ended, McCoy slumped back in his chair, feeling too heavy to even try to get up. It felt a bit like being underwater, the sounds surrounding him muted, and every move taking immense effort. All those new, overwhelming facts and fears seemed to be weighing him down, not just figuratively, but literally.
Although it wasn’t the part of Hope being a ‘duplicate’, whatever that really meant, that had knocked him sideways. Sure, he’d have to get his head around that one, figure out the consequences, or side-effects, or fallout, whichever. And certainly deal with his anger about how she’d been treated. But he’d seen stranger things. And however Hope had been ‘created’, knowing her inside out as her doctor, her friend, her partner, he could say, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was as human as it got.
How she’d react to the news, however, what it would mean for her emotionally, or even for her future, was another story, of course. And, disconcertingly, this time he honestly had no clue whether she’d take it in her stride like most everything else, or break down, as any other person probably would. Either way, they’d tackle this together, work it all out like they did with everything.
Hope was still the same, amazing woman she’d been an hour ago, nothing had changed there. And in case she started to doubt that, he’d keep reminding her of the fact as long as it took for her to return to her confident self again. Heck, she could turn out to be the daughter of a Gorn and a Horta, for all he cared. She’d still be Hope. His girl. The love of his life.
No, it wasn’t Hope’s history, or ‘nature’, that bothered the doctor. What scared the living daylights out of him was that business with Section 31, whoever they really were. Dakunia’s insistent warning, paired with Jim’s visible alarm at the sheer mention of that department, had put the fear of God into him. If Section 31 were as ruthless and dangerous as he had reason to believe, how was he ever going to keep Hope safe? How would he ever be able to sleep again?
He jumped, when the captain sat down heavily in the chair next to him. Jim and Spock, who had been engaged in a quiet conversation at the far end of the briefing room, repeatedly casting him concerned glances, had obviously decided that he’d had enough time to collect himself.
“How am I supposed to keep her safe, Jim?” McCoy blurted out before Kirk had the chance to say anything.
“You mean, ‘How are we going to keep her safe’?” the captain corrected him gently, coaxing the hint of a smile out of the doctor.
What would he do without his loyal friends by his side? He couldn't even imagine life without their friendship and support anymore. They were his family, just like Hope and Joanna.
“My God, Jim,” he ran a tired hand over his face. “I was expecting a lot of crap from Starfleet, but this Section 31 business certainly surpasses my wildest speculations.”
“Calm down, Bones, she’s safe here with us,” Kirk smiled, resting a comforting hand on the doctor’s arm.
“How can you say that?” McCoy cried out, testily shrugging him off. “The way I see it, she isn’t safe anywhere!”
“You heard Dakunia,” the captain’s voice was soothing. “Section 31 deals with threats, they don’t concern themselves with harmless girls. And no one will ever learn about her newly discovered memories. For what it’s worth, I trust Dakunia. He won’t tell a soul. And neither will we, of course.”
“More secrets,” McCoy sighed miserably. “Will she never be free?”
“Secrets, yes,” Kirk agreed softly. “That can’t be helped. But this time, she has you and us to talk to. Besides, she’s the most resilient person I know.”
The doctor threw his friend a pained look. Of course Hope was resilient! Not least because she had to be.
“And she’s also the happiest, Bones,” Jim added with a warm smile. “You make her happy. You’re the best thing that could have happened to her. With your help, she can overcome anything. She’s a very lucky woman, and she knows it.”
“At least, now we can be sure that she will not need to return to the past,” Spock cut in, saving McCoy from the emotional moment Kirk had created. “Unless she wants to, and we can find a way to make it happen, of course. Maybe you should discuss this with her at some point?”
The doctor felt a cold hand grip his heart. Would Hope want to go back if she had the chance? Now that she knew about her children?
“You all right Bones?” the captain’s gentle voice brought him back to the present.
“What am I even going to tell her, Jim?” McCoy groaned. “Where do I begin? How do you tell someone that they’re a ‘duplicate’?”
He was sorely tempted not to tell Hope anything at all, suddenly understanding why Dakunia had chosen that path. There was nothing but heartache to be gained from knowing the truth. But then, he’d have to find some other explanation for her flashbacks. And that would mean lying to her, which, of course, he couldn’t do. She’d been lied to enough already, and she deserved nothing but the truth.
Besides, he couldn’t build their marriage on a secret, on lies, no matter how much he’d love to spare her the heartache. No, the way to go was to be completely honest and then just be there for her. Ease the pain as best he could. Not to mention that she needed to know how serious this was. That she couldn’t tell anyone. That she had to stay safe.
“I know what you’re thinking, Bones,” Kirk broke into his thoughts. “But she’s waiting for answers. Those memories won’t just go away. There’s no way around telling her.”
“And don’t you think I know that?” McCoy blustered. “Of course, I’m going to tell her. We can’t start making up new lies. She deserves the truth. If for nothing else but to stay safe.”
Jim nodded mildly, and the doctor felt himself deflate.
“But where do I start?” he looked helplessly at Kirk. “How do I say what needs to be said? How do I soften the blow, prepare her for what’s to come?”
“You’re a doctor,” the captain replied. “It’s not the first time you’ve had to break unpleasant news to someone. You’ll find the right words. Besides, Hope’s much stronger than you give her credit for. I’m pretty sure she’ll surprise you. She’ll be relieved to have answers, to finally know the truth. She may need some time to adjust, to get to grips with the situation, but with your help she’ll come out the other side stronger. Like she has every time. Nothing we’ve learned today will destroy her life. Or her happiness, for that matter. Because she won’t let it.”
“Thanks Jim,” McCoy smiled, getting up. “I needed to hear that. And you’re certainly right. They don’t come any stronger than Hope.”
Of course, Jim was right. Hope was one of the strongest people he knew.
Certainly stronger than I am, he sighed inwardly, looking gloomily at his usually so steady hands that he just couldn't seem to stop from trembling now.
Truthfully, the only thing still keeping him together was the knowledge that Hope was safe for the moment. Here on the Enterprise. With him. Needing him. That she was only a few steps away, happy to let him hold her and feel her reassuring presence, to show her how loved she was, how special, how wonderful. He couldn’t change the things that had happened to her. But he could still give her all the love and care, the Geborgenheit she craved and deserved. Powerless as he was to change the past, he certainly had the power to make her future the happiest it could be.
Hope must be rubbing off on me, he thought, shaking his head in wonder, because instead of weighed down and helpless, he suddenly felt animated, imagining all the nice things he would do for her.
“Now go tell her,” Kirk clapped an encouraging hand on his friend’s back as the three officers made their way to the door. “And take tomorrow off, if you need to.”
But when the doors slid open, and the doctor saw Hope already standing there, anxiously waiting for him, his resolve crumbled, and all he could do was pull her into the tightest hug and back inside the briefing room.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny couldn't suppress a surprised yelp at being so unceremoniously yanked into the briefing room, and into the mother of all bear hugs. And, of course, it didn’t take a genius to realise that Leonard had been seriously rattled, and that that was to do with her, or more precisely, with the conference call he’d just ended with Admiral Dakunia, as Uhura had informed her only a few minutes ago.
Needless to say, the intensity of McCoy’s embrace, normally her safe place, was making her feel rather uneasy right now. The way he’d wrapped his arms around her, almost crushing her, burying his face in her hair and clinging to her as if he hadn’t seen her only this morning, and after an incredible night, too, could only mean one thing. What they were going to tell her wasn’t pleasant.
She’d been surprised when Spock had asked her and her team to check the latest translator update for a rather unusual bug that afternoon, but had also been grateful to have her mind taken off her worries and fears. And, of course, she’d suspected that that had exactly been the first officer’s intention, recognising it as one of his subtle kindnesses. It hadn’t occurred to her, however, that he was trying to keep a subspace meeting with Dakunia from her.
When Jenny and her staff had finished their assignment, she’d been thinking about calling a band rehearsal, or asking Chekov for a training session, to keep busy and give Leonard a breather from her constant yammering and whining, which seemed to be all she was doing lately. But then she’d thought better of it. In her current state of mind, she might just have started telling Nyota or Pavel about her woes, drawing them into her issues as well. And she didn’t feel comfortable with that at all.
She was the one people came to for help, and support, and an open ear. The other way round would simply feel wrong. Except with poor Leonard, who’d been her confidant and counsellor from the beginning. She knew, of course, that the doctor didn’t mind, even enjoyed worrying about her in his own peculiar way. He couldn’t help it, it was how he demonstrated love. Probably how he felt it, too. And deeply so, because there was no other way he knew how to feel. Leonard felt everything very deeply.
But she’d still always tried not to bother him with every little problem, every issue, every hiccup. She wasn’t this needy, clingy girlfriend, or at least she didn’t want to be. On the contrary. Given the doctor’s proneness to worrying and brooding, she always tried to be upbeat and positive around him. To cheer him up when he was in one of his moods. To show him how pleasant and wonderful life really was. Only, with her flashbacks and emerging memories, she hadn’t been very successful at that recently. The worry about where it all came from, and whether she was going crazy, had become too much of a constant companion in her mind.
So, when Uhura had let on that Leonard, Kirk and Spock were in a mysterious meeting with Dakunia, her heart rate had instantly gone up by a million bpm. Immediately heading for the briefing room, all she’d been able to do was keep from barging in, sticking to pacing the corridor outside instead, and trying not to think about why she hadn’t been included in the meeting. She just couldn't wait to hear what new information Dakunia had divulged. At that point, it didn’t really matter if it was good or bad news anymore. She just wanted to have clarity. To know the truth about herself, even if the consequences were severe. Anything was better than this uncertainty.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Unable to hold off any longer, she gently disengaged herself from Leonard’s embrace, and, wondering how to pose the question she so desperately needed answered without breaking down in front of the captain and Spock, decided to try the casual approach.
“So, that bad, eh?” she began, her voice surprisingly strong. “Am I officially going crazy now?”
Leonard just wordlessly shook his head, and Kirk, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words, too.
Only Spock, the epitome of calm, as always, answered, “Indeed, you are not, Lieutenant. Your sanity is perfectly intact, no need for concern there. However, there are quite a number of new facts that you need to hear about. Would you like Dr. McCoy to fill you in on everything in private, or would you rather we told you here right away?”
Jenny would really have preferred to do this in private. To have Leonard tenderly hold her while he gently let her in on all these ‘new facts’. But given how upset the doctor seemed, and assuming that Spock hadn’t suggested for them all to tell her together without reason, she decided to take him up on the offer. Leonard definitely looked like he could use his friends’ support, an observation that certainly did nothing to reassure her.
“I think I’d rather you just told me right away. I really can’t wait any longer,” she replied, the relief on McCoy’s face not going unnoticed, as he tenderly led her over to a chair.
He seemed to have his act back together now, all reassuring smiles and comforting hands in the small of her back or around her waist again, and Jenny instantly felt far less afraid, despite knowing that it probably was just that: an act. But even so, there was nothing like Leonard in calm doctor mode to make her feel safe and secure.
Just as she was sitting down, however, McCoy had a change of heart and, pressing a soft kiss to her temple, said, “You know, it’s really a good idea to have Jim and Spock help me get all the facts straight when I tell you. But I still think we should do this in our quarters. It’s more comfortable there. After all, this is a private matter and not some strategy meeting.”
Absurdly, the only thing Jenny could think at that moment was that he’d just called them ‘our quarters’ for the first time in front of others, probably ever. Totally unrelated and certainly not the issue here, but oh so wonderful to hear. Something heart-warming and joyful to hold on to in the midst of this unnerving and mind-boggling situation. And she wouldn’t put it past Leonard to have saved those words for an occasion like this, perfectly aware that they were sure to put a smile in her heart.
Chapter 68
“I’m sorry I scared you, love,” McCoy looked ruefully at Jenny, as they made their way through the corridors, Kirk and Spock following at a little distance. “It was just so good to see you, and you know how I tend to overreact. But there’s really nothing wrong with you, least of all with your marvellous mind. What Dakunia told us was … surprising more than anything else. But nothing we couldn't deal with.”
Of course, he’d realised how his earlier behaviour had frightened her. He might have been unable to stop himself, but he wouldn’t be Leonard, if he hadn’t been acutely aware of what hugging her like there was no tomorrow had done to her.
“It’s all right, I’m not scared,” Jenny mustered a weak smile, grabbing and squeezing the hand that had been lightly brushing against hers with every step.
Their eyes met, and they both had to laugh, a brief moment of lightness, shared humour taking away the unbearable tension, because, of course, they both knew that she was scared witless and he had been far more than just surprised by what he’d learned.
God, how she loved this man. For being exactly the way he was. For pulling off awkward and confident at the same time, as if they weren’t opposites. For loving her so fiercely and unconditionally. And for having this unique gift for making her laugh and feel safe, even seconds away from falling to pieces himself. The very gift that made him such an extraordinary healer.
The news might not be good, frightening even, but as long as he could still pull himself together enough to revert to ‘doctor mode’, it had to be something she could overcome. Or at least survive. Of course, Jenny knew that Leonard was always a doctor first, and that comforting and reassuring were ‘his business’. But she also knew that there were exceptions. Limits even for him.
Because just like he’d always be a father first when it came to Joanna, he wouldn’t be able to put the doctor before the partner in her case either, if the news really were that terrible. At least not unless the doctor in him could save her.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Once again, Jenny was sitting on the couch in McCoy’s - no their - quarters, feeling uneasy and not knowing what to anticipate, with Leonard sitting next to her, his arm protectively around her shoulders, and Kirk and Spock sitting across from them.
Another déjà vu, but with this one, at least, she knew exactly where it came from. She vividly remembered the last time they’d been sitting here like this, over a year ago, when she’d told them about her past and how she’d come to live in the 23rd century.
It had all seemed so straightforward then. So simple. She’d believed everything would be all right, once she shared her secret with them. And for a time, it was. Until new secrets cropped up. Only this time, apparently, they weren’t her secrets but someone else’s. Or, perhaps, the truth was even stranger than that. Even more ‘surprising’. She really couldn’t wait for McCoy to finally spill the beans.
“Leonard, please,” Jenny shifted in his embrace, looking up at him imploringly. “I know you mean well, but whatever you have to tell me, stop trying to break it to me gently, just say it. All I need is the truth. And I need it now. Your beating about the bush is killing me.”
“Of course, love, I’m sorry,” he sighed, brushing a quick kiss on her hair.
And then, taking a deep breath, the doctor launched into a detailed recount of everything Admiral Dakunia had told them, carefully watching her as her eyes grew wider with every new fact, and pulling her a little closer every time she shivered with shock and disbelief.
So, she’d nearly been killed, stumbling into some top-secret Starfleet Intelligence time travel mission? And then been brought two hundred years into the future only to be put to sleep for another hundred years? She’d never even had leukaemia? She’d been duplicated?
What next? Is there even anything real in my world? Or is my whole life just one, big lie?
Feeling completely numb and almost detached, the doctor’s arm was the only thing still grounding her, as she listened to his preposterous tale, interrupted only by the occasional remark from Kirk or Spock. Surely, this could only be a very bad joke. Only, it couldn't be, because there was no way Leonard would ever join in such a cruel prank. And neither would Kirk or Spock, for that matter. No, it had to be another nightmare. She could only hope to wake up soon.
“Why can I remember the most unspectacular songs but not people, not even my own sons, properly?” Jenny heard herself ask, her voice sounding as if it belonged to someone else.
“We think it’s to do with emotions,” McCoy answered softly, tenderly hugging her to him and wrapping her in his comforting warmth and love, his arms still the safest place she knew. “Songs, and music in general, make for happy or at least neutral memories. But people and relationships are more difficult. More personal. Spock’s confident, though, that with time you’ll remember everything. Slowly, but steadily. Don’t push yourself, love. Just like with amnesia, you can’t force it. You just need to let it happen.”
Easy for him to say, Jenny thought irritably, well aware that she was being unfair. Talk about shooting the messenger. Of course, she knew that the whole situation, having to break those news to her, was anything but easy for Leonard, but she needed to vent, if only in her mind.
“Maybe there were things your older self wasn’t entirely happy with and found easier to suppress,” Spock volunteered. “After all, there was enough for you to come to terms with, even without the additional burden of future – and perhaps less agreeable – memories.”
“Well, if there’s anyone who might know, it would be you, Mr. Spock, wouldn’t it?” Jenny all but snapped, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice. “So far, you’re the only one who’s seen my ‘future memories’.”
“Not the buried ones,” the Vulcan countered gently. “Not many of them, anyway. And without context, most of them will only make sense with time. However, from everything I’ve seen so far, it isn’t likely that there was a major catastrophe overshadowing your life.”
“That’s reassuring to know, Mr. Spock,” Jenny chuckled drily, feeling only mildly relieved.
But then, she seemed to have stopped feeling altogether. It was like staring into a great, big void. Even Leonard’s strong arms enfolding her, which would usually have given her the world of comfort and the most reassuring sense of security, could just as well have been some armchair, albeit a comfortable one, she was sitting in. At the end of the day, of course, it didn’t matter either way. Nothing did. Because she wasn’t real. She was just a cheap copy of some other woman.
“Strictly speaking, it’s not even my life, and they aren’t my memories to begin with. Neither my past, nor my future are actually mine.”
It was only after the words were out of her mouth, and Leonard’s thumbs were gently wiping away a few tears she hadn’t even been aware had begun to trickle down her cheeks, that the cold, hard truth struck her with full force.
“One by one, your memories will resurface, love,” the doctor murmured, his face inches from hers, gazing intently into her eyes. “And they’re all yours, there’s no question about it. Try looking at the bright side. You won’t have to feel guilty anymore, since you were actually always there for your sons. They never lost you. They never had to live without their mother. If your memories of them are painful, it’s because you miss them, not because they missed you.”
“So, my sons grew up with their mum. That’s a good thing, right?” Jenny looked into McCoy’s kind eyes. “But where does that leave me? Who am I, if not their mother?”
Suddenly, she didn’t feel numb at all anymore. It was as if her heart had been temporarily frozen and was now defrosting at speed again. All her emotions, her pains, her fears, her insecurities, everything that had or hadn’t happened to her, or to her sons, everything she’d believed she was until today, was coming tumbling down on her at once.
Jenny couldn't think straight anymore, couldn't move, didn’t know what to say, or where to look, or what to believe. All she wanted was for Kirk and Spock to go away, so that she didn’t have to pretend being in control any longer. And all she needed was Leonard’s comforting presence, his loving arms around her, safely holding her while she was falling apart and patiently waiting to put her back together again when she was ready.
That was exactly what she wanted to tell him, but what came out instead was, “I’m so sorry for worrying you again. I don’t know why I keep doing this to you.”
Fortunately, she didn’t have to tell Leonard what she really needed. He’d probably known before she did. Because while he was gently cradling her to his chest, she could feel him gesticulating above her head, and then heard the hiss of the door as Kirk and Spock quietly left.
“You know that I consider worrying about you my privilege,” he said after a moment, his words slightly muffled by her hair. “We’ve helped each other through difficult times before, and this is going to be no different. Together, we’ll pull through. Nothing can hurt us.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
“Nothing? I’m nothing,” was the first thing Hope said when the others were gone, lifting her head to look at him, and McCoy felt his heart breaking. “I’m no one. Just a ... projection. A copy.”
She wasn’t crying or even really looking upset, just very confused and lost.
“You’re nothing of the sort, love,” he replied, his arms delicately holding her, and his hands softly caressing her face, reflecting the indescribable tenderness that surged through him as he gazed into her questioning eyes. “You’re as real as they come. And I should know, I’ve checked and fixed you more times than I care to remember.”
She was looking to him for answers, for guidance, for reassurance, and he’d never felt more protective of anyone in his life.
“You’re an amazing individual, no doubt an original! Heck, for all we know, your counterpart could, in fact, be a copy of you! But sticking to Spock’s theory, as far as I was able to understand it, you might want to think of her as your twin rather than copy and original.”
Hope nodded slowly, considering his words.
“I won’t pretend to know how you’re feeling, love,” he went on softly. “And maybe you don’t have a clue what to feel or think yet, either. But I’m here. To help you get your head around this. To talk and to listen. Or simply hold you while you’re processing all of this.”
Heaving a sigh, Hope just wordlessly sank back into his arms, burying her face against his neck, and McCoy’s heart broke a little more. He’d watched her trying to hang on and keep her composure all evening, her questions and remarks almost robotic, as if on autopilot, reminding him of the day after their first night together on shore leave, when Jim had come to tell her she’d been transferred to the Lexington, pushing her off the top of the world in a matter of seconds.
Why was she never allowed to stay happy for long? Just because she was strong and resilient, as Jim put it, and had proven herself capable of bouncing back from anything time and again, didn’t mean she didn’t deserve to simply be happy once in a while.
“You’re holding me as if I were made of glass,” Hope murmured close to his ear, and it sounded almost like a complaint. “Are you suddenly afraid to break me? Or am I going to dissolve any moment now?”
“Of course not!” the doctor was quick to assure her, instantly hugging her a little tighter, not even having noticed that he’d started to treat her like the fragile girl she was on the outside. “You’re as strong as ever. Sometimes, I just get carried away with how much love and tenderness you need and deserve, and then I can’t seem to be gentle enough with you.”
That seemed to placate her, as she snuggled a little closer.
“You know, I’ve been struggling with feeling inferior before,” she sighed, “being this Neanderthal among all you brilliant people of the 23rd century. But now I’m even more lacking! In everything. I’m not even a full human being!”
“My God, you’re not lacking in anything, love!” McCoy contradicted, appalled at the idea that Hope would even think something like that, but at the same time understanding that she was feeling insecure right now and needed all the reassurance she could get. “You’re still exactly the same amazing woman you were yesterday. Apart from still being the most important person in my life, of course. My one and only.”
“Oh, Leonard,” she rubbed her head affectionately against his cheek, “you’re always so kind and sweet. Always saying the right thing. But I still feel like a fraud. Like I shouldn’t even be alive.”
“That’s enough now, Jenny,” he said sternly, trying to contain his simmering anger, which wasn’t even directed at Hope, but at Starfleet. And fate. “Your life is infinitely precious. I don’t want to hear you talking like that again!”
Hope bristled at his words, and he was immediately sorry for sounding so harsh. He really needed to cut her some slack. She was in a most daunting situation, and he couldn’t even begin to imagine what she was going through right now. If anyone was entitled to say things they wouldn’t have said under different circumstances, it was certainly her.
“Listen,” he continued more gently. “What if you’d never learned the truth? Would you still feel like a fraud? Nothing has really changed beside the fact that now you know.”
“Well, I guess I wouldn’t,” she admitted hesitantly.
On impulse, McCoy pulled back a little, tilted his head, and brought his lips down on hers, surprising her with an intense and loving kiss.
“Feel good?” he chuckled, amused by the startled look in her eyes.
Hope just nodded and gave him a little smile.
“See? Nothing’s changed at all.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she gave him another one of her brave little smiles, and he almost wished she’d just burst into tears. Let it all out. That would be easier to handle, he knew how to comfort a crying Hope. The fact that he was still rather shaken himself, didn’t help, either, of course.
But he’d keep it together for her sake. Follow her lead. If she needed to put on a brave face and talk rather than cry her heart out, he could do that, too. There’d be plenty of time for tears later. In his experience, people often instinctively knew how best to deal with trauma. Different people had different ways of coping, and as a doctor, he’d learned to go with people’s instincts rather than psychological textbooks.
“It’s just that not being allowed to return to the past is one thing,” Hope tried to explain, looking at him with sorrowful eyes that were boring right into his soul. “But effectively not being able to, because there’s just nowhere for me to go, nowhere I belong, is something else entirely. Let’s face it, I’m nothing more than an accident.”
“And one for which I’ll be eternally grateful,” McCoy said softly, his voice cracking, glad to see the intense pain in her eyes fading a little as his words sank in. “Your place is here, you belong with me. I know it sounds awfully selfish, but for a while there, before I talked to Dakunia, I was terribly afraid you might have to go back eventually.”
“You mean when I’m forty-five?” Hope asked quietly, raising a gentle hand to his face and caressing his cheek affectionately.
“You had the same thought?” the doctor was taken aback.
“Of course, I did, Leonard,” she replied, endless love shining through the pain in her eyes. “I can put two and two together just like you can. Although it took me a while to figure out why you acted as if you might never see me again last night. And when I did, I immediately dismissed the idea again, telling myself I was wrong. Because I couldn't bear to even think about it any more than you could.”
Chapter 69
“At least, we won’t have to worry about that anymore,” McCoy smiled, lovingly covering Hope’s hand on his cheek with his own and bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss.
Seeing her struggle with so many emotions at once, the fear, the insecurity, the confusion, and beneath them all the unbroken love for him, it was getting harder and harder to keep his own feelings under control. But he couldn't lose it now. This was not about him. Not about his worries, or his rage, or even the hurt he felt on her behalf. This was all about Hope. What she felt, what she needed. What he could do to make this easier for her. It was his job to get her through this.
“When I realised that our time together might be limited, twenty years suddenly seemed so terribly short,” Hope said, closing her eyes at the memory, and the doctor was glad to see her momentarily distracted from her self-doubts. “But then, an eternity with you wouldn’t be enough either.”
“I couldn't agree more,” McCoy had to blink back tears, deeply touched by her words. “Twenty years together is nowhere near enough. But if they were all I could have with you, I’d gladly take them anytime.”
Hope snuggled against him with a sigh, then suddenly pulled back again, and raised fearful eyes to him.
“What do you think will happen to me when I’m forty-five?” she asked, her voice a little shaky. “I might not have to go back in time, or rather, I won’t be able to. But do you think I’ll just cease to exist?”
The doctor suppressed a shudder, aware that he couldn't display even a hint of uncertainty now. The thought had crossed his mind, too, but he’d be damned if he told her that. It was enough that he was going to spend the next twenty years worrying about it. At least, he was used to living in constant fear of something or other. Hope wasn’t, and certainly shouldn’t have to be.
“Of course not, love,” he reassured her, willing himself to believe it, too. “And why should you? When you … came into existence, you were separated from your counterpart. Or your twin. I’m sure Spock could explain this much better, but the way I see it, you were ‘reborn’ that day. You’ve been living your own life ever since. Independently. Growing, maturing, following your own path. There’s no reason for this to suddenly end!”
“Oh, Leonard,” Hope sighed, falling back into the couch. “This is just one of a million questions running through my head! In a way it’s worse than suddenly waking up in another century. At least I knew who I was then. Or I thought I did, anyway. But now? Nothing’s real, everything’s changed, I don’t know what to believe anymore!”
“I hope you still believe that I love you,” McCoy smiled gently, his heart heavy as he felt himself falling into Hope’s dark, soulful eyes, which seemed to be pleading for help, and for answers. “And that you can still trust your feelings. The love you have for your friends, your job, for linguistics, for music, and dancing. All of this is real. All of this is you. Wonderful, incomparable you.”
“Thank you!” Hope whispered, nestling into his side as if she wanted to crawl inside him and hide there forever, and the doctor wrapped his arms tightly around her, making sure not to treat her like a breakable anymore, even though that was exactly how she felt to him at that moment.
“It’s perfectly normal that you’re confused, and unsure of a lot of things right now,” McCoy murmured softly into her hair, his hand drawing comforting circles on her back. “Everyone would! Your whole world’s just been upended. Everything you’ve believed to be true is suddenly being called into question, and it makes me so angry that you’ve had that done to you.”
He had to pause there for a moment, to fight back the anger that was just waiting to be released.
“I won’t tell you that you’ll be able to put all your doubts to rest in a day or two, either. This is going to take time. It’s a process. But I’m with you every step of the way. Whatever runs through your head, every doubt, every fear, every question, even anger, because you’re going to, and have every right to feel that, too, share it with me, and you’ll find nothing is as daunting as it seems.”
“I will, Leonard,” she mumbled into his shirt, and he tenderly kissed the top of her head, hoping she really would.
They were silent for some time, and the doctor could almost see the multitude of thoughts buzzing in Hope’s head, as she kept shifting around restlessly in his arms.
“You know, I can’t help wondering about the years I spent in the 20th century,” she finally said. “My whole childhood and youth. Was that really me? Did any of this actually happen to me, or are those just echoes of ‘her’ memories, too? Like the future ones?”
McCoy didn’t quite know how to answer that. Those were huge, philosophical questions. Besides, he’d never been comfortable with the whole time-travel conundrums and paradoxes in the first place. Fortunately, Hope didn’t really seem to expect a response anyway, her thoughts already moving on to the next question.
Abruptly disengaging herself from his embrace, she gave him a haunted look.
“You and Spock know my exact date of death, don’t you?” she asked, the colour draining from her face, then quickly corrected herself. “Her date of death. Do you think I’ll die at the same age? It sure would be disconcerting to know when you’re going to die!”
“Oh, really, Jenny!” the doctor exclaimed, shocked by the turn Hope’s agitated mind was taking, but then relented, seeing that the thought was deeply bothering her. “Nobody knows when they’re going to die. As I said before, you started your own, independent life the moment you were separated.”
Looking somewhat reassured by his answer, she breathed out a relieved little puff.
“And out of the two of us, I was obviously the lucky one,” she said after a moment, gazing lovingly into his eyes, “being the one who got to meet you.”
McCoy pressed a tender kiss on her lips, both responding to her sweet declaration of love and stalling for time. Her thoughts, and her mood swings, although understandable, were really starting to get to him. He needed to take action. A plan. Apparently, Hope wasn’t ready to let go and have a good, cathartic cry just yet, but questions like these weren’t healthy. And so very unlike her, they actually scared him.
As much as he loved to hold her, and knew that being in his arms gave her comfort, this time, it simply wasn’t enough to revert her to her grounded, confident self.
Time to bring out the big guns, he thought, tenderly stroking Hope’s hair and picturing her laughing and carefree again in his mind.
Waiting for inspiration to strike, he started by making her some tea. Her favourite ‘Tension Tamer’ blend, which Hope gratefully accepted. He could actually have done with a drink, too. A couple of fingers of bourbon would have been nice. But that would only give away how rattled he was himself.
He did have drinks with Jim or Scotty sometimes, of course, but he practically never drank when it was just the two of them. They had coffee, or maybe tea, or a fruit juice. Hope didn’t care for alcohol, and somehow, he never even thought of having a drink when he was with her.
Besides, McCoy needed a clear head. Hope was very fragile at the moment, and he needed to observe her closely. So, tea it was for him, too. He just prayed that he wouldn’t get called to an emergency, because there was no way he could leave her alone right now. Not even for a minute.
As he sat down again, cup in hand, an idea struck him. Music. Hope lived and breathed music and rhythm. It was her life. She expressed herself through singing and dancing. It had even helped with her amnesia. Maybe it would help again? At least calm her down enough to get her to sleep a little. That might give her a new perspective in the morning, and perhaps, with a little distance, things might not seem as overwhelming anymore.
He could certainly do with some rest, too. To give him the chance to process everything himself. In order to counsel her well, to really be of help to her, he desperately needed to get a grip on his own thoughts and emotions first. Beginning with purging his anger somehow.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny was sipping her tea, feeling a little more like herself again. She was grateful that Leonard had sent the captain and Spock away, and was now just quietly being there for her, giving her space to process things in her own way and time, yet responding to her every thought and mood.
He’d always been good at being subtly comforting and supportive, taking up her random, troubled thoughts and guiding them in a healthier, more fruitful direction. Discreetly taking charge without being obtrusive.
Putting his cup swiftly down on the couch table, the doctor suddenly jumped up, an almost excited look on his face as he went to grab his PADD from the desk and started tapping away on it.
“Remember how our song always helped when we were going through a rough patch?” he asked, casting her an affectionate glance before returning his attention to whatever he was busily typing. “We danced to it on the beach that unfortunate evening before you had to report to the Lexington. And then it brought you back to me, after your bout of amnesia.”
“It surely did, and I couldn't be more grateful,” she smiled, taking the hand he offered and letting him pull her to her feet.
“You certainly loved country music before you met me,” Leonard said, pulling her close and starting to gently sway to the first bars of ‘It’s Your Love’, “and Tim McGraw and Faith Hill might always have been your favourite singers, but this is our song. Yours and mine, and no one else’s. You were your own person when we first sang it together that evening down in sickbay, a whole person, a complete person, and not to forget the most amazing person I’d ever met. You couldn't have been more real, even though I confess, I sometimes suspected you to be an angel.”
The doctor leaned down to kiss her cheek so delicately, Jenny barely felt his lips on her skin, her heart brimming over with love for the man who never failed to make her feel special, finding ever new ways to show her how precious she was to him, and how his whole life revolved around her.
“And if the memories of your childhood seem as real as those of you and me, then they undeniably are,” he went on softly, moving with her in slow circles to the music. “Everything you remember being is real, just as everything you are now is.”
Jenny nodded, letting his words sink in, then rested her forehead against Leonard’s shoulder and just lost herself in the beautiful song. Their song.
And who I am now
Is who I wanted to be
And now that we’re together
I’m stronger than ever
I’m happy and free
She was still feeling unsettled by everything she’d learned today, and she’d certainly stumble upon more scary questions the more she thought about it. But for the moment, safe and loved in Leonard’s arms, she felt almost at peace, knowing that, as long as he loved her, she was going to be all right.
It’s your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can’t get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I’m under
Oh, it’s your love
When the song ended, Jenny took a step back, expecting Leonard to take her back to the couch to talk some more. But when she looked up, he gently shook his head, and she felt herself drowning in his beautiful eyes that were gazing at her with such warmth and tenderness, it nearly took her breath away. Even after all this time, even in a situation like this, he still had the power to make her heart skip a beat just by looking at her.
Of course, she knew exactly what he was doing, and why. But having his love and kindness give her a break from all the erratic and disheartening thoughts that had been threatening to overwhelm her, was certainly more than welcome.
“There’s more,” he whispered, lovingly pulling her back into his arms, as Tim McGraw’s voice filled the room once more. “So many more songs we’ve enjoyed together since you danced into my life, filling it with joy and happiness. Just try to relax a little and listen.”
I used to think that love would never find me
And the one who cares was lost somewhere in time
But when you found me I knew I’d found forever
Leonard’s arms tightened around her, and Jenny could feel his heart beating strong against her cheek.
Your sweet love saved me not a moment too soon
This time, when the song finished, she just stayed nestled into his embrace, confident that he’d put a few more on his impromptu playlist. Leonard was nothing if not creative in helping her through difficult times.
And sure enough, there was George Strait with another favourite song of hers. She’d never told Leonard this, but her heart ached a little every time she listened to the song, because the lyrics always painfully reminded her that this was exactly how the doctor saw himself.
I’m not the hero who will always save the day
Don’t always wear the white hat, don’t always know the way
I may not even be the dream you wanted to come true
Jenny raised her head, giving the doctor a tender look, mouthing, “You know you are!” and earning herself a gentle kiss on the nose, as he touched a finger to his ear, indicating that he wanted her to keep listening.
Remember that there’s someone there whose heart is always true
Someone there to help you make it through
I’ll always be the man in love with you
Leonard had stopped dancing and was looking at her intently.
“Never forget that,” he said earnestly. “Whatever life has in store for us, together, we’ll always make it through.”
Starting to move to the music again, he drew her into a soft kiss, tenderly affirming his words, and all of Jenny’s daunting thoughts suddenly seemed lightyears away. Of course, she knew that they’d be back to haunt her. She couldn't simply ignore the things she’d learned today. They’d changed everything. But just knowing that Leonard would be there when her fears and doubts returned, filled her with a sense of calm confidence. With him by her side, she was ready to face anything.
And with this reassuring thought in mind, Jenny wrapped her arms tightly around the doctor’s waist, basking in his warm embrace as the next song started to play and Travis Tritt’s words touched her heart like they never had before.
‘Cause I love you more than you’ll ever know
More than life, more than I’ve ever loved before
It’s absurd, and beyond words, I couldn't want you more
And when I try to pour my heart out to you I’m not sure it shows
That I love you more than you’ll ever know
-x-x-x-x-x-
A/N: I couldn't resist, this chapter just called for some soothing background music.
So, if you’re interested, this is
McCoy’s playlist:
Tim McGraw & Faith Hill – It’s Your Love
Tim McGraw – Not a Moment Too Soon
George Strait – The Man In Love With You
Travis Tritt – More Than You’ll Ever Know
Chapter 70
Nothing mattered but the woman in his arms. Holding her, protecting her, making her feel safe and loved was all McCoy cared about with Travis Tritt singing straight from his heart and Hope nestling into his embrace with her unique brand of utter trust and unbridled affection. Feeling her pressing against him, virtually clinging to him, wriggling a little further into his arms with every swaying step to the music, nearly undid him. His own emotions in turmoil and precariously close to the surface after the day they’d had, the doctor didn’t even mind coming across as overprotective anymore. He just wanted to enfold her. All of her.
He’d promised they’d make it through anything together, and he’d meant it. In fact, he’d never been more serious about anything. That tender, loving look she’d cast him when George Strait had been singing about not being quite the hero, had touched him to the core. Lifting him up as much as weighing him down with the pressure of living up to her image of him. Although putting pressure on him was certainly the last thing Hope had intended. She just had no idea what a single look from her did to him. How it made his heart soar, seeing the endless love in her eyes, while at the same time almost crushing him under the weight of responsibility at that absolute trust showing on her face.
Hope was neither naive nor helpless. Far from it. But she had this total faith in his ability to fix anything and everything, putting him right up there with Kirk and the other ‘heroes’ aboard the Enterprise, including herself, if anyone cared to ask McCoy. He’d become used to people expecting miracles from him as a doctor, but Hope’s endearing faith was not limited to his medical skills. When she looked at him with those wide, trusting eyes, she almost made him feel like a real hero. And just the thought of disappointing her was unbearable. He’d doubtlessly do things for her that he wouldn’t even dream of trying otherwise. In a manner of speaking, Hope was his superpower.
The end of the playlist he’d hastily put together brought him back to the present, and he was glad to see that it had obviously had the desired effect. Hope seemed a lot calmer now, and when she stepped out of his embrace, smiling up at him fondly, she appeared much more at peace with herself again. At least for the time being. What more could he ask?
“How about a little snack?” the doctor suggested hopefully, his stomach suddenly reminding him that neither of them had had anything to eat since lunch, or was that breakfast? “I could fix us a quick chicken sandwich or something?”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry at all,” she declined with a warm smile, pecking him on the cheek before draining the last of her tea and cleaning up her cup.
McCoy left it at that. Hope had been really good following his dietary guidelines lately, so skipping one meal wasn’t going to kill her.
“I’d rather just go to bed, if you don’t mind,” she continued. “Not sure if I can, but thanks to you I’m feeling much better now, so I’d like to give sleep a try. Sometimes, all you need is a fresh eye in the morning for things to start looking up again.”
“I couldn't have put it better, love” the doctor agreed, putting a gentle arm around her waist to steer her towards their sleeping area, grateful to see her so determinedly positive again. “Let’s just go to bed. Tomorrow’s a new day.”
“Oh Leonard, you don’t have to go to sleep just yet. It’s not that late,” Hope replied a little too quickly, turning around and gently, but firmly stopping him with both hands against his chest. “You go ahead and have that sandwich. I’ll be all right.”
It was clear that she didn’t want him to come to bed with her, and that stung, even more than he cared to admit. But after what she’d been through, she had, of course, every right to ask for a little space. To find herself, clear her mind, sort her thoughts, whatever she thought she needed to do. It was McCoy, who couldn't bear to let go of her for even a minute. Who longed to hold her tight and reassure himself that she was still there, solid and unharmed. But that was his problem. Not hers.
So, taking the hint, the doctor backed off, giving her another brief hug and planting a tender kiss on her forehead before releasing her from his clasp.
“All right, love. Sleep tight!”
And while Hope disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for the night, McCoy settled down on the couch with his PADD, determined to give her the space she wanted and needed, while still keeping a close eye on her. No matter how much she thought she wanted to be left alone now, she really needed to be cared for.
Mustering up all his self-restraint, the doctor didn’t even look up when he heard her return from the bathroom and slip into bed, pretending to be totally engrossed in his PADD.
“Leonard?” she called out softly, and his head flew up immediately.
“Yes, love?” he asked, fighting the urge to get up and hurry over to where she was sitting up in bed.
“Could you please,” she began hesitantly, not meeting his eye.
“Could I what?” he prompted gently, when she hadn’t said another word for almost a minute.
“It’s just that,” she started again, but trailed off once more.
“Whatever you need!” he set his PADD aside, but stayed put on the couch.
“Just don’t,” Hope went on, shaking her head, still looking for the right words.
“Anything, Jenny! But you’ll have to tell me,” McCoy said softly, relieved when she finally looked at him.
“I know it’s still early, but can you please stay here? Don’t go away!”
“Of course, I’m staying, love!” he exclaimed, blinking rapidly to keep from tearing up. “Don’t you worry, I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
The doctor’s heart plummeted, as it hit him how scared, and lost, and insecure Hope must be feeling to outright ask him to stay. Normally, if anything, she’d have encouraged him to ‘go and have fun’ or something like that, trying to assure him that she was all right, even though she quite obviously wasn’t. Not that he’d have taken her up on it, of course, but just the fact that she wasn’t even pretending to be okay, explicitly asking him not to leave her alone instead, was breaking his heart.
“Want me to come to bed after all?” he asked tentatively, wishing to offer without being pushy.
“No, no, I’m perfectly fine with you reading on the couch,” she smiled gratefully, lying down and snuggling into the covers. “I just wouldn’t want to be all by myself right now. Thank you, Leonard. For everything. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” McCoy murmured, not quite trusting his voice, his eyes glued to her back as she rolled over, facing away from him.
He didn’t even look at his PADD after that, unable to tear his gaze away from Hope lying there in their bed, only a few feet from him, yet somehow so far away. Every fibre in his body was screaming for him to go and hold her, talk to her, comfort her, be there for her. But he knew that he had to let her do this her own way. That this was the kind of support she needed most right now. Time to process everything she’d found out today in peace, while knowing that he had her back and was quietly waiting, ready to catch her the moment she started to fall.
It took a long time, and lots of fidgeting and sighing, for Hope to finally fall asleep, the doctor’s eyes never leaving her familiar form, as he tried to sift through his own thoughts and find answers to the many questions that kept arising the more he chewed over all the new facts and insights. And, of course, there was still the matter of Section 31 that he needed to discuss with Hope in more detail as soon as she was ready to deal with that on top of everything else. He really didn’t want to add to her worries, but this was too dangerous to take lightly, and he had a feeling that she hadn’t quite grasped the seriousness of the issue, what with everything else she’d had thrown at her today.
McCoy briefly thought about sleeping on the couch, or even not at all, but then decided that she wouldn’t mind him joining her in bed for the night. It was his bed, too, after all, and it wasn’t as if they’d had a fight or anything. So, when he was quite sure that she was fast asleep, he got undressed, ordered the lights out, and slid between the sheets next to her. It was the only way he’d be able to get any sleep at all tonight. He needed to feel her. Her warm, delicate body against his, for his own sake as much as hers. To be there to soothe her, when she moaned in her sleep, and, above all, when she woke up.
-x-x-x-x-x-
It would have been so easy to just stay in Leonard’s comforting arms and let him take care of her. To go on dancing and pretend that nothing had changed, that this was just another tender evening with her wonderful, loving fiancé. Everything always seemed easy when he was holding her. But this wasn’t, and she needed time to reflect on it. Space to think about it without the doctor making it seem to just go away. Because it wouldn't. She couldn’t hide forever, she had to face reality sometime. And she wanted to do that sooner rather than later. For her sake as much as Leonard’s.
He’d been terrific, of course. He always was. Loving, kind, supportive, her rock in every way. Steadfast and unwavering. But despite his endeavours to the contrary, Jenny had seen how this was wearing him down. She’d seen his eyes well up several times, watched him run tired hands over his face when he thought she wasn’t looking. Had felt his heart breaking with every fearful question she’d asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t have all the answers, yet unreasonably and childishly expecting him to.
Despite quite obviously being shaken to the core himself, Leonard had tried to keep strong for her at all costs. And he was the strongest person she knew when it came to keeping it together for his friends’ sake or professional reasons. Or usually both. But Jenny also knew the toll it took on him, how it tore him up inside. Because no matter how crusty he appeared on the outside, there was no question that he had the softest heart. Kind, and vulnerable. So easily hurt. And today, she sadly acknowledged, she’d brought him close to breaking point.
His disappointment at her wanting to go to bed alone had been tangible, and she’d felt bad about it. But much as she would have loved some cuddles, she was grateful that he hadn’t made any move in that direction. Instead, the doctor had graciously accepted, probably even anticipated, that she needed space. The chance to reflect on this whole bizarre situation, and time alone to get her head around the fact that she’d been created rather than born and didn’t know who or what she really was anymore. Or if she was even human.
A fact that, strangely, hadn’t seemed to faze Leonard at all, his main concern apparently being to keep her safe from this Section 31. To him Jenny was still real and human enough. And with him being a doctor, that had reassured her immensely. But maybe he’d still get there. Maybe he hadn’t had enough time to really let all the news sink in yet. He’d only learned about the whole thing literally minutes before her. Yet, somehow, she didn’t actually expect him to change his mind. His reasoning had been sound enough. And paired with his treating her exactly the same way as always, it had almost convinced her of being a real person, after all.
But she needed to come to that conclusion herself. So far, she couldn’t help feeling that something was amiss. As if she were suddenly a mere part of someone else, with the rest missing. Somehow, she just didn’t feel whole anymore. Like a two-dimensional projection, no matter how often Leonard had assured her to the contrary. She was confident that she would eventually make her peace with her new self. At least she knew that was what she wanted. But it would take time to get there. To feel comfortable and complete in her own skin again.
Just as it would, once more, take all of poor Leonard’s love, and patience, and compassion, to help her through a difficult time, Jenny thought wryly, immensely grateful for the doctor’s comforting presence only a heartbeat away. And he wasn’t even complaining. Hadn’t said a word that would hint at him being fed up with her being a constant pain in the neck, perpetually causing him new worries and headache. He’d never do that. She even believed that he was genuinely glad to be there for her. Unceasingly and unconditionally.
Jenny smiled at the thought that it probably hadn’t even occurred to him that he could just walk away. That he wasn’t obligated to stay with her and face all of her struggles. Knowing that she still meant so much to him, that his feelings hadn’t changed a bit after all he’d learned about her today, made her feel a little more ‘intact’ again. He’d been worried, yes, and angry on her behalf, but neither freaked out nor disgusted, treating her with the same caring kindness he always had.
Nevertheless, she was sorry to put him through this. To draw him into yet another of her life’s messes. He didn’t need that, he had enough worries of his own. And she was supposed to make life easier for him. More carefree, less complicated. But without meaning to, she seemed to keep putting him through the wringer.
With all those different kinds of thoughts buzzing through her head, Jenny had finally fallen into troubled sleep, too exhausted to try and make sense of anything anymore. And even though giving herself a little space and going to bed alone had been her idea, she deeply appreciated the tender arm that unfailingly wrapped around her every time she woke up with a start.
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Continue to:
Chapter 71
Go back to:
Chapters 1-5
Chapters 6-10
Chapters 11-15
Chapters 16-20
Chapters 21-25
Chapters 26-30
Chapters 31-35
Chapters 36-40
Chapters 41-45
Chapters 46-50
Chapters 51-55
Chapters 56-60
Chapters 61-65
Or read it on AO3: Another Life
************
Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
Another Life - a Star Trek fic - (Chapters 36 - 40)
Sequel to ‘On Borrowed Time’
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS)
Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope)
Characters: The Crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701)
Rating/Warnings: None
Tags: Romance, Friendship, Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Angst/H/C, Caring/Protective/Tender/Comforting/Happy/Grumpy/Worried McCoy
Word Count: This is a long one. Again. 😄 (71 chapters - 177k)
Read it on AO3: Another Life
Chapter 36
Obviously, with amnesia, there wasn’t all that much you could do but give it time. And hope. McCoy was still spending his nights researching, but he always seemed to end up with the same disappointing result. There were so many different kinds of amnesia, so many different outcomes and experiences. As he’d told a disappointed Hope long ago, the human brain was still quite a mystery, even in the 23rd century with all its advanced science and opportunities.
The more research he did, however, the more reason he saw to be thankful. That Hope had recovered such a large portion of her memory in such a short time, and was able to just continue with her job as well as all the things she liked to do in her free time, was certainly not the norm. She had been incredibly lucky, and the doctor was grateful for that. Giving up their relationship suddenly seemed like a small price to pay for her to continue her life and her career otherwise unimpaired.
Nevertheless, McCoy still hoped for her to remember. But days turned into weeks, and he started to resign himself to the possibility that she might never recover the past two years. The thought was painful beyond belief, and he was sorry not only for himself, but also for what she had lost. She’d been truly happy, and she’d loved those memories. Spending whole nights reminiscing with him had been one of her favourite things, he thought fondly, hoping against hope that they’d at least get the chance to make new memories.
But things were different now, and she seemed happy, too, fully functional as an officer and having fun getting to know everyone again. Hope was exactly the same woman as before, did the same things, had the same passions and the same wonderful personality. She was the same wonderful woman he’d fallen in love with, the same woman who’d fallen in love with him. But she wasn’t his wonderful woman anymore.
She was getting to know him again, of course, and he was grateful that she was still so comfortable around him. Trusted him, felt safe with him, liked to spend time with him. But since she wasn’t working in sickbay anymore, they just didn’t see as much of each other as they used to during her first year aboard. She was having her evening coffee mostly with other people now, was growing close to other people, too. Their connection wasn’t as special to her as it had been the first time around.
And it certainly didn’t help that he sometimes actively avoided her, because being near her, without being close, was often just too much to bear. Hope was his life, but he had to pretend that she was just a patient, just another crew member. They belonged together, but she simply didn’t remember. At times, the desire to sweep her into his arms and hold her forever was just too overwhelming, and he had to get away from her as fast as he could. Other times, it was the helplessness turning into anger, that made him run off without explanation before he could say or do anything he’d definitely regret afterwards.
There were no words to describe how terribly he missed her. From the minute he woke up in the morning to the moment he crawled into his cold, empty bed at night. The nights were the worst. He yearned for her warm, delightful body nestled against him so comfortingly. And it wasn’t even the sex he missed most. It was the closeness, the tenderness, the intimacy. Of course, he’d been alone in his bed, dreaming about her more often than he cared to remember during her first year aboard, too. But it was so much worse now that he knew what it was like to be with her. How good they were together.
What probably hurt most, though, was the fact that he couldn’t discuss any of this with her, couldn’t share this burden with her, couldn’t depend on her optimism and draw comfort from her unconditional support. He’d got so used to telling her about everything on his mind, including medical matters way beyond her expertise. And even though she might often not have been able to make any scientific recommendations, just talking about things usually helped.
But he was truly alone in this now. After months of convincing himself that it was okay to drop his shields and let someone in again, to trust and rely on someone once more, he was back to where he’d always known he belonged, yet had hoped never to find himself again. Alone.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jenny was feeling better and stronger with every day that passed. She loved her work, feeling immensely proud that her plan to focus on her studies and career had obviously worked out so well. Rank of lieutenant, head of her own, if small, department, and all that within five years of waking up to a completely different world and time.
The thought that she’d just come out of another coma, sleep, stasis, whatever it had been, with no real idea of how long she’d been out, was, of course, still a little unsettling. But for some reason she had this total, instinctive trust in Dr. McCoy, and, frankly, couldn’t see any reason why he, or any of the others, should have been lying to her. Not to forget his genuine shock and concern, when he’d found out that she didn’t remember him.
Besides, she’d definitely heard of Captain James T. Kirk and the Enterprise during her Academy years. And the captain looked exactly like the holos she’d seen of him, so she really couldn’t have been asleep that long.
The Enterprise.
Jenny still couldn’t believe that she’d not only been cleared for starship duty, but had even made it to the Fleet’s flagship. Beside her work, she loved everything about the Enterprise. All the activities she engaged in in her free time, the band and dancing mostly, of course, but, above all, really, she liked the crew. Jenny might only begin to know them again, but they already felt like friends.
The doctor was still her favourite. Maybe because he’d been there when she’d first woken up, and had so kindly and caringly looked after her ever since. Or simply because he’d been the one to take her in his arms, and she just couldn’t forget how wonderful his warm embrace had felt. Jenny was also aware that he was still dedicating a lot of his free time to doing research on amnesia, for which she was immensely grateful, and which sent a warm feeling to her stomach every time she thought about it.
McCoy knew how vulnerable she felt, with who knew how many of her memories still missing, maybe even lost forever, and his protectiveness was just what she needed. Although the doctor’s mood swings seemed to have become more frequent recently, and she sometimes got the impression that he was actually angry with her.
One moment he was kind and fun, seeming to enjoy their conversation, and looking at her with a tenderness that went straight to her heart, and the next, he couldn’t get away fast enough, suddenly seeming angry, or maybe disappointed, with her. And she had no idea why.
She’d even tried to talk to him about it, outright asked if she’d done anything to annoy him, if there was some disagreement between them she didn’t remember, some unfinished business. But he’d just brushed it off as something she imagined while actually getting mad at the question, only to touch the gentlest hand to her face, tenderly caressing her cheek and looking deeply into her eyes the next moment.
Maybe the obligation he felt, as her doctor, to look after her was getting too much, and he was fed up with playing the babysitter. Or maybe she’d been too obvious, he’d noticed how incredibly drawn she felt to him and just didn’t want to lead her on. Just because she loved to be near him, didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted that, too.
Perhaps she should stop taking up so much of his time and spend more time with her other friends instead. Relieve him a little of babysitting duty. The strange thing was just that, whenever she did, McCoy still seemed to hover somewhere nearby, not quite able to stop watching over her.
Anyways, she really wanted to keep focused on her career, no matter how often she might dream of the doctor’s arms and smile. She’d be going on her first landing party soon, and she couldn’t wait. All Jenny had to do was pass a physical exam before then, and she truly hoped that McCoy would let her.
-x-x-x-x-x-
“You can get dressed again, love,” McCoy smiled at Hope when he’d finished his examination, perching on the edge of the nearby computer desk and skimming through the results of her blood tests.
He just couldn’t stop calling her ‘love’, but thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind, simply taking it as his way of talking. Like he called other patients ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’.
When he looked up from his display again, however, Hope still hadn’t moved and just kept staring at him, sort of expectantly. Then the penny dropped. She was waiting for him to leave, or at least turn around, while she took off the medical gown and changed back into her uniform.
“I’ll be back in a minute to talk about your results,” he mumbled, making a quick exit and sitting down heavily at the desk in his office next door.
He’d simply forgotten. But this was the woman he knew inside out, as intimately as you could know anyone. He was familiar with every one of her birthmarks, knew what every single inch of her skin felt like, hell, even tasted like. He knew how to make her melt under his touch, how beautiful she looked when she was in the throes of passion. How to rub her back to make her purr with pleasure and where to tickle her to make her squeal and giggle. And now he had to leave the room while she got changed.
McCoy rested his head in his hands, wondering how much more he could take. He loved Hope more than anything else in the world, and always would. But the hurt was just overwhelming, and he could feel himself approaching breaking point. Sitting with her before she’d woken from her coma, he’d believed to be prepared for anything, happy to stay by her side and care for her no matter what. Determined to deal with whatever physical and/or mental handicap she might have been left with, to make sure that she got all the love and care she needed, to never leave her side. But that wasn’t possible now. He was forced to keep his distance. Give her privacy. Take care of her from afar.
And in less than a week, she’d be on her first assignment joining a landing party again. De facto her first, as far as she was concerned. McCoy remembered only too well how nervous she’d been on her actual first assignment. And how dangerous it had turned out despite starting off as completely harmless. Well, if Jim wanted her to go, he’d have to let the doctor join the landing party, too. There was no other way McCoy was going to clear Hope for this assignment.
Chapter 37
When Dr. McCoy returned some minutes later, he seemed frazzled, and Jenny’s heart went out to him and whoever had been unfortunate enough to cross him in the short time he’d been away. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to have anything to do with her results, since the doctor, although rather distractedly, told her that she was in excellent health and could certainly join the landing party after he’d cleared a few details with Captain Kirk.
Seeing her relief and joy at the good news, McCoy even managed a smile, but Jenny sensed that his mind was already elsewhere. So she just quickly thanked him and all but skipped out of sickbay, heading straight for the gym, where she was meeting Chekov for one of their dancing units.
Leaning back against the back panel of the turbolift, she couldn’t believe how much she’d just enjoyed her physical, smiling at the thought that she was probably the only crew member who did. But opportunities to be near the doctor were rare these days, and she’d relished every gentle touch, not caring that they had just been part of the examination.
Having the doctor stand so close that she could feel the warmth radiating from his body had given her goose bumps, and, ridiculous as it sounded, she thought he smelled so nice. Jenny didn’t know why, maybe her dad had used a similar aftershave or something, but Dr. McCoy, even with the ever-present waft of antiseptic, somehow smelled like home.
After her dancing session with Chekov, where Pavel had once again left no doubt about his feelings for her, Jenny indulged in a real-water shower to celebrate her excellent test results, exhilarated at the prospect of joining her first – at least to her memory – landing party. Later, in bed, thinking about Chekov’s eagerness, she couldn’t help but wonder if she might actually have reciprocated his feelings before her coma.
Pavel was certainly a brilliant and attractive young man, although she somehow always thought of him as more of a boy. He was kind and fun, and would undoubtedly be a good match as far as rank and age were concerned. She was also pretty sure that he’d make a really attentive boyfriend, but she just couldn’t see them together. Not unless being in his arms while dancing could make her feel the way she had in McCoy’s arms.
Oh God, can’t I even finish a single thought without the doctor invading it? she grumbled to herself, feeling her heart skip a beat just at the idea of dancing with McCoy.
No, there was no way she could see Pavel as anything but a friend. She’d have to find the right moment to tell him that, even if it hurt him and meant that he didn’t want to continue their dancing sessions. But she definitely didn’t want to lead him on. Maybe that was precisely the pickle McCoy found himself in with her, Jenny thought despondently. That he liked her, but just not in that way.
Trying to shift her thoughts away from the doctor and her non-existent love life, Jenny tried to recapitulate all the information she’d gathered about herself so far, concerning those last two missing years. McCoy – God, here he was again – had encouraged everyone aboard to tell her as many facts about the past two years as they wanted, in the hope that something might trigger her memories, but at the same time had instructed the crew to really stick to the facts, and not to foist any private suspicions, based on guesswork and gossip, on her, especially concerning her personal life. If they wanted her to truly remember, feeding her false information would certainly not be helpful.
There had, of course, been a few personal things that people had let slip nevertheless, but nothing that really seemed of relevance to her. As for the facts, Jenny had so far learned that, to her great astonishment, she’d worked in sickbay – although that might explain why the doctor knew her so well, had been on a dangerous first mission from which she’d returned with a broken ankle after saving the captain’s life – a little exaggerated, surely – and also Peterson’s from security before that – definitely exaggerated.
She’d further been told that she’d been on the Lexington for six months, and had headed her own department of linguistics ever since her return. That her and Uhura’s gigs with the band were legendary, and, her favourite, that she was reportedly good friends with at least half the crew.
Chekov had told her of their many dancing shows, giggling about how McCoy used to freak out over their Rock’n’Roll acrobatics, and that she’d saved Christmas for several crewmates by preparing surprise presents for anyone who would have gone without otherwise. All with Pavel’s help of course. Apparently, she had even once performed field surgery on him, which she’d taken for one of Chekov’s less tasteful jokes at first, but which McCoy had later confirmed with a soft, almost emotional look in his eyes.
Uhura had been the one to fill her in on all the little things, like what her favourite replicated food was – chicken salad sandwich, the one McCoy had got her after he’d taken her off the drip, which song she’d loved to perform most – To Make You Feel My Love, which had come as no surprise to her, but which, being a classic country song, quite obviously wasn’t one of Nyota’s favourites, that she’d become some sort of yoga guru on the Enterprise, and many more little facts like that.
Since Nyota was not only her best friend, but also without doubt the most communicative, Jenny kept pestering her about her pre-coma relationships, specifically her love life, wanting to know so badly if she’d been more than friends with anyone aboard. But so far, Uhura had remained annoyingly vague in that regard. She’d admitted to being under the impression that Jenny might actually have been in love, or something to that effect. Lots of words in intricate sentences full of question marks and maybes. She wouldn’t even hint at who she had in mind. It had never been more than a sneaking suspicion, anyway, Uhura had claimed, since Jenny had always adamantly denied it.
Closing her eyes with a groan, she tried to wrack her brains once more for some little memory, anything at all. She didn’t know why, but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that those two years had not only been incredibly adventurous and career-furthering, but also very emotional. The thought that someone aboard might know her much more intimately than they let on, was, to say the least, unsettling, but also made her sad. If she’d been in love with someone, she really wanted to know.
When Uhura hadn’t been very forthcoming, Jenny had tried to approach the subject from a different angle, asking her if she knew of anyone who might have feelings for her.
But Nyota, seeing right through her, had just laughed and said, “Take your pick, sugar! There’s not a person aboard who’s not in love with you.”
“You mean it could be a woman, too?” Jenny had exclaimed, disheartened by the now even wider choice of possible ‘candidates’.
“Not that I know of, but, hell, yeah. Why not, I guess?” Uhura had chuckled, obviously pleased that she’d managed to confuse her friend even more.
After that conversation, Jenny’s mind had gone into overdrive, much to Nyota’s amusement. She’d considered Christine – no way, although the nurse was lovely, Peterson – he’d been extremely grateful, mentioning her saving his life several times, and finally had even straight out asked Uhura, if they’d been in love.
Nyota had doubled over with laughter at that, assuring her that, although they’d been very close and she loved her dearly, there had never been anything remotely romantic between them.
“Don’t let this drive you crazy, Jenny, you’ll figure it out in the end,” her friend had said at last, and then cryptically added, “As far as I can tell, you’re already on the right track, anyway. Just keep following your heart and everything will be fine. No need to rush into anything, either. If it is who I think it is, he’ll stick around.”
Back to ‘he’, then, well at least that was something. Follow her heart? Uhura’s advice kept haunting her. Who had Nyota been talking about? There was only one person her heart really wanted to follow. But there was no way Uhura could know about him, was there?
Looking at the time, Jenny realised that she had to go to sleep quickly, if she didn’t want to show up for her shift like a zombie the next day. Closing her eyes, she pictured all the possible ‘candidates’ one more time, thinking how much easier things would be, if McCoy were actually an option.
Well, a girl could dream.
But seriously, she thought, how sad would it be, if there really had been someone, and she didn’t remember being in love with them, especially, if the feeling had been mutual. If only she could find out who it was, maybe she could learn to love them again?
-x-x-x-x-x-
Chekov was in seventh heaven. They’d put in a dancing unit almost every evening, and not once, since she’d woken from her coma, had Hope mentioned loving him like a brother. In fact, she’d actually flirted with him, something she’d never done before. Not even in the beginning, when he’d still thought he could win her heart. No, she’d always been very clear about not having any romantic feelings for him, but now things were different, and it really felt like a second chance to him.
Along with the rest of the crew, Pavel had been quite sure that Hope was actually with Dr. McCoy, and, although the thought hurt like hell, he’d accepted it as a fact. But as long as they were still dancing together, there’d always been a tiny spark of hope in his heart, that she might, one day, realise that she was madly in love with him, after all.
Maybe that day had arrived? He wouldn’t want to get in the doctor’s way, of course, but assuming him and Hope to be an item must have been a mistake after all. Honestly, even suffering from amnesia, you’d surely remember who you were in love with, wouldn’t you? No, this was his big chance, and he was going to grab it with both hands. He was going to woo Hope like she’d never been wooed before.
But perhaps he’d still have a little talk with the doctor before making a complete fool of himself. Yes, that seemed like a good idea. He’d go and see McCoy first thing tomorrow.
-x-x-x-x-x-
McCoy was surprised to see Chekov nervously pacing outside his office, obviously trying to summon up the courage to come in. What could the young Russian want to talk to him about that got him so flustered?
“Come in already, Chekov,” McCoy grumbled amicably, grabbing the surprised man’s arm and pulling him inside, “you’re going to ruin my floor if you keep running in circles like that.”
Returning to his desk and sitting down in his chair, the doctor looked at Chekov expectantly, motioning for him to sit down as well, but the young man just stood there, nervously twiddling his fingers.
“I need to talk to you about Jenny. Dr. Hope, I mean,” Chekov blurted out, catching McCoy completely off guard.
Good thing the doctor was already sitting down.
“What about her?” McCoy asked, immediately getting his hackles up and looking at the young man through narrowed eyes.
“You know, I’ve always thought Jenny is an amazing woman,” the Russian continued hesitantly.
Tell me something I don’t know, the doctor thought, piqued.
“But she’s never been interested in me so far. Romantically, I mean.”
“And now she is?” the doctor snapped, feeling his heart beating faster.
What was Chekov getting at?
“I don’t know,” the other man stammered, visibly losing heart, “but she hasn’t mentioned feeling for me like for a brother once since she woke up. And I think she’s … flirting with me.”
McCoy wanted to throttle him.
“Why are you telling me this, Chekov?” the doctor asked, not even trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.
“Because I need to be sure that you’re okay with this, before...” Pavel murmured, his face turning a bright shade of pink.
“Before what?” McCoy barked, leaning forward in his chair and fixing the other man with his eyes.
“Before I ask her out for, I don’t know, dinner, maybe?” Chekov’s voice was barely a whisper now.
“And why wouldn’t I be okay with that?” the doctor asked gruffly, leaning back again and trying to unclench his fists.
It wasn’t Chekov’s fault that Hope didn’t remember their love, was it?
“Well, to be honest, I’ve always thought that you and Jenny...” the young man’s voice trailed away.
“That we what?” McCoy pressed on.
He wanted to make him spell it out. Even if his heartache wasn’t Chekov’s fault, the doctor wasn’t going to make this easy on him.
“Er … that you were more than just friends?” Pavel offered awkwardly.
McCoy snorted, trying to ignore the knot that had formed in his stomach. He had to bring this absurd conversation to an end and get rid of Chekov quickly, before he lost his temper.
“You don’t need my permission, Chekov,” the doctor said, an icy tone underlying his display of composure, “Hope is free to do as she pleases, or do you think she’d flirt with you, if she were with anyone else?”
The young man shook his head sheepishly, and McCoy found that, despite all his hurt, he couldn’t stand the thought of Hope being considered as anything less than decent and loyal.
“Just maybe take it slow,” he suggested, surprising himself by how much like fatherly advice this sounded, “Hope might still recover her memory, and you wouldn’t want to be involved too deeply, if she finds out that there’s been someone else all along.”
It was true, there was still hope.
And to take the focus away from himself as well as plant some doubt in Chekov’s mind, not something he felt particularly proud of, of course, McCoy nastily added, “You don’t know, there might even be someone on the Lexington waiting for her.”
Chapter 38
When the door had closed behind a subdued Chekov, McCoy grabbed his favourite coffee mug and flung it forcefully against the wall, satisfied to watch it shatter into a thousand little pieces. Then he slumped in his chair and took a little box out of one of his desk drawers. Opening the box, he looked forlornly at the delicate, dolphin-shaped ring in there.
They’d had to remove all jewellery, fighting to bring Hope back that fateful day she’d sacrificed her life. And his. He’d meant to return the ring with all of Hope’s other things from his quarters, but then somehow hadn’t been able to let go of it. It was a token of their love, a tiny reminder of what had once been, and she didn’t even remember having it, anyway.
Can’t really blame Chekov for trying, McCoy thought, feeling the rage and despair slowly seeping out of his body, leaving plenty of room for hopeless grief in their stead.
Anyone in their right mind would, if there was a chance to gain Hope’s affection, wouldn’t they? And at least the kid had had the decency to ask.
He couldn’t blame Hope either. She didn’t remember, and he was being increasingly distant with her, while Chekov wasn’t. He’d always thought they’d make a nice pair, anyway. Hope needed affection, and Chekov certainly wasn’t a bad choice. With McCoy out of the picture, he could actually see her falling for the young Russian. The doctor slumped even further down in his chair. And there he’d thought he’d already hit rock bottom.
Still tenderly holding Hope’s ring in his fingers, McCoy was startled out of his thoughts by Kirk’s cheerful voice, as the captain stuck his head around the door to his office.
“You wanted to talk to me about Hope and the landing party?” Jim asked brightly, stopping abruptly when he saw his friend’s obvious misery.
“What’s the matter, Bones? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost!” the captain went on as soon as the doors had hissed shut behind him, stepping towards the desk and sitting down in the chair across from McCoy.
“Chekov was just here,” the doctor murmured so low that Kirk could hardly hear him, “practically asking my permission to date Hope. And who could blame him... “
“Bones!” the captain cut him short, “You can’t just give her up without a fight! You really need to tell her!”
“I can’t, Jim!” McCoy groaned, lifting doleful eyes to Jim’s. “Don’t you see? I can’t force a relationship on her, dammit! I can’t make her love me! I’m just a man she barely knows, a man she has no feelings for.”
“You don’t know that, do you?” Kirk argued, his voice soft now.
The doctor just rolled his eyes and quietly said, “All I really want is for her to be happy, Jim.”
“Then court her, Bones! Surely you still know how to do that? Tell her how you feel! Start anew! You’ve won her heart once, you can do it again!”
The captain was getting exasperated.
“Can’t do that, either,” McCoy sighed. “I’m her doctor and her superior.”
“Technically, you were that before, too,” Jim pointed out. “Even more so, when she was still working in sickbay.”
“That was different,” the doctor argued. “We’d known each other for a year until I gave in to my feelings. And by then, even I could see how much she loved me. I don’t see that now. And I can’t make her. She’s free to choose whoever she wants. Maybe it’s even better that way. I’ve always felt she deserved better.”
“You don’t mean that,” Kirk huffed, shaking his head. “You know just as well as I do how perfect you are for each other. Hope couldn’t find anyone better. And she deserves a chance to have that again. Don’t you think? Much as I like Chekov, you and Hope were made for each other. Anyone who’s ever seen you together knows that.”
“What was it again you came here for, Jim?” McCoy changed the subject, putting the ring back in its box and returning it to its place in the drawer.
He just couldn’t keep discussing this now, he needed to clear his head first, needed some time alone to think everything Jim had just said through.
“The landing party,” Kirk replied, respecting his friend’s wish to move on with their conversation. For now, at least.
“Oh, yes,” the doctor said, sighing when he realised that this was still about Hope, after all. “Jenny’s in top form again. Physically. But with the issue of amnesia still hanging in the air, I’ll only let her go on that assignment, if you let me come, too.”
“Sure,” the captain replied without hesitation, getting up to leave and smirking at McCoy’s disbelieving look at how easily Kirk had agreed. “Another day, another chance! I had planned on letting you tag along, anyway.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
The doctor was still staring after his friend, when Hope tentatively knocked on his door.
“Need anything?” McCoy asked dismissively, immediately regretting sounding so gruff.
It wasn’t her fault he could hardly look at her. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but after talking to Chekov, he just couldn’t help feeling betrayed.
“Sorry,” Hope said in a small voice, “if this is a bad time, I can come back later.”
She looked so lost, that the doctor’s heart went out to her, any bad feelings instantly forgotten. If Hope had come here looking for help, he couldn’t just turn her away.
“What can I do for you, Hope?” he said, much more warmly this time, getting up from his desk and crossing the room towards where she was still standing in the doorway.
“I … I don’t know, really, I … just came to see you, it’s nothing important, sorry, Doctor,” she stammered, spinning around to slip out the door again.
“Don’t go, please stay,” McCoy exclaimed, quickly grasping her arm to keep her from leaving. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, I’m just having a difficult time for various reasons, but you can always come to me, if you need something, or even just because you feel like it.”
The doctor’s heart beat a little faster, thinking that Hope’s subconscious still guided her to him.
“I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties,” she smiled shyly at him, looking down at his hand still on her arm. “Is there anything I can do for you? If you want to talk, I’m a good listener.”
“I know, Hope,” McCoy smiled back at her, taking his hand away again. “You always have been, but thanks, not this time.”
If only she knew how badly he wanted to talk to her, tell her everything and hear her say that it was going to be fine.
“But it was you, who came to me,” the doctor reminded her gently. “So, how can I help?”
“I’m not sure, really,” she said, bemused, “I just came here, because …”
“Because?” McCoy prompted softly.
“I’m sorry, I really can’t seem to remember why I came here,” she admitted sheepishly, and he could see her eyes suddenly turning anxious. “Do you think there’s something else wrong with my brain, Doctor?”
“No, love,” McCoy tried to reassure her. “The results of your physical were excellent. We all forget things sometimes.”
They were still standing in the doorway, and the doctor beckoned her a little further inside, so that the doors would slide shut behind her. He didn’t feel like continuing their conversation at his desk, though. Standing here, so close to her, was just too delightful.
“It doesn’t even feel like I’ve forgotten the reason,” Hope said, sounding puzzled. “I don’t think I had one in the first place. It’s more like I wanted to come, because… maybe I like sickbay and loved working here?”
“You remember?” McCoy felt new hope rising inside him.
“No,” she sighed, looking crestfallen, “but I do feel comfortable here, so I guessed...”
She shrugged, and McCoy tilted his head encouragingly, sensing that there was still more she wanted to tell him.
“Oh, Doctor,” she looked straight at him, the words suddenly pouring out of her, “I know I said it’s only two years, and what’s that in the grand scheme of things. And you told me I was lucky and that I should be grateful. And I am, I really am. Things could be so much worse. But this not knowing everything about myself is driving me crazy. These gaps in my memory are scary. Does that make any sense? Don’t ask me why, but I really feel that something significant has happened in those two years, that I’m missing something … momentous.”
For a moment, McCoy was dumbstruck, with no idea how to answer. He could see it clearly now. The missing two years not only meant that she didn’t remember their love. She’d also been robbed of all the experiences that had turned her into the confident, self-assured woman she’d become. As it were, she seemed more like the insecure girl she’d been when he’d first come to know her.
She’d always been strong, very capable and mature in her work and her attitude, but emotionally, she’d come a long way in those two years, had done a lot of growing up. He’d loved the shy girl, too, of course, but he only realised now how much he missed, and needed, this amazing woman, who had returned to him from the Lexington, by his side.
“Doctor, I feel afraid. Will I ever remember?” Hope broke into his thoughts.
“Well, physically, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t,” the doctor replied, trying hard to keep his voice steady. “There’s still a chance, just give it time.”
Looking at the woman before him, gazing at him with pleading eyes and clearly expecting him to pull the proverbial rabbit out of the hat, McCoy had to briefly close his eyes to get his emotions back under control.
Screw impeccable conduct, he thought.
Hope was scared, and she needed him now. She needed warmth and reassurance and security. And she’d come to him of all people looking for it. Not to Chekov or anyone else, but to him. The least he could do was comfort her.
This time, he didn’t even ask, but just opened his arms for her, and when Hope instantly stepped into his embrace, closed them firmly around her again. McCoy held her tight, and she hesitantly wrapped her arms around his waist. A little shyly at first, but then she just nestled into his arms, as if she’d always been there. She wasn’t even crying, she just needed to be held. And suddenly, everything seemed all right with the world again.
Even though she still didn’t remember, and maybe never would, right now, a new start for them didn’t seem as unthinkable as it had only minutes ago. That she’d instinctively come to him with her fears, meant that there was still hope. He’d just be there for her, give her time to get to know him again. Falling in love had been wonderful the first time around, and maybe Jim was right. Maybe she would fall in love with him again.
And if, no, when she did, he could tell her all about those two years. She’d treasured all of their memories, delighted in reminiscing about their time together, but what she’d always enjoyed most, was him telling ‘their story’. Hope could never get enough of hearing him tell her all about how he’d fallen in love with her. Head over heels that first evening in the mess, and then a little further every day. She’d certainly love hearing all that again.
Chapter 39
Jenny buried her face in the doctor’s chest, inhaling his comforting scent and relishing being wrapped in his protective embrace. She’d been longing to be this close to him again for weeks, and it felt just wonderful. To think that only minutes ago, she’d been feeling scared, alone, lost. And McCoy’s tender arms had taken all those feelings away, just like that, and replaced them with warm comfort. This was exactly what she’d been dreaming about every night. And right now, the doctor’s arms felt like the safest place in the world.
She’d been thinking about her life, her future, afraid that those missing years would come back to haunt her, not just privately, but that they might even endanger her career. Heading a department full of older, experienced scientists, when she felt like a mere cadet, barely graduated, was proving more intimidating than she’d anticipated. And all the stories about her, that people kept telling her, all those tall tales about this strong, admirable woman who was a complete stranger to her, put an almost crushing pressure to perform on her.
So, she’d done what she always did when she felt troubled or insecure. She’d come to sickbay. As if sickbay held all the answers. But she couldn’t help it, she just felt incredibly comfortable around the place and had already found herself ending up here numerous times, when she’d actually just been aimlessly wandering around the ship, lost in thought. Drawn to the place, or possibly the doctor, not just figuratively, but also literally.
Why was she so attracted to McCoy, anyway? He was older, he was moody and irascible, and yet, he was always so gentle with her. Like now. He’d been less than welcoming when she’d knocked on his door earlier, her embarrassment growing even worse when she hadn’t been able to explain what she’d actually come to sickbay for, afraid that she was starting to forget even the most recent events as well. But when he’d seen her distress, he’d gone from gruff to soft in the blink of an eye, as if all those layers of grumpiness had just fallen away to reveal his true, caring nature.
Opening his arms for her, holding her so tenderly, so protectively, had seemed to come naturally to him. Jenny might not always know where she stood with the doctor, his stressful job probably the main reason for his frequent crabbiness, those layers of grouchy irritation a protective shield against all the pain and despair he was confronted with on a daily basis, so it wouldn’t get in the way of his medical efficiency and break him emotionally. But she was absolutely certain that he’d always be there if she was in real trouble. If anyone was in real trouble, she corrected herself quickly. He was kind like that.
Even standing here like this, their arms around each other like lovers, she had to stay aware of the fact that she was really no one special to him, just another patient, another crew member. No matter how much she wished this could be more, he was not interested in her that way. She was just someone he felt protective about. Probably because he had a daughter nearly the same age, as she’d learned from Uhura only this morning over breakfast. Jenny remembered that particular conversation vividly.
“You’re sometimes too sweet for your own good, Jenny,” Uhura had said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head indulgently. “Not long ago, you even sacrificed your ticket for shore leave on the galaxy’s hottest recreation planet, so that Dr. McCoy could meet his daughter there.”
“McCoy has a daughter?” Jenny had been completely taken aback.
“Yes, he does. Joanna. Although he doesn’t get to see her often. He’s divorced. And Joanna’s almost your age, by the way.”
Oh!
That had certainly been an eye-opener. If McCoy had a daughter around the same age, that was probably why he felt so protective about her. And if she’d given him the chance to see Joanna on shore leave, he was surely grateful, too. Jenny could hardly believe how much that information had hurt, but it had, of course, explained why the doctor would never have a romantic interest in her, someone young enough to be his daughter.
Well, she could still enjoy his company. And stay in his arms as long as he let her, now that she’d finally got another chance to be close to him. Nothing had changed, really. At least not as far as he was concerned. And hadn’t the security she felt when she was with him, his protectiveness, been what had drawn her to him in the first place? She could still relish that. Yes, she’d be more than content with his friendship, if it even was that.
Despite never wanting this heavenly moment to end, Jenny found herself pulling out of the embrace after a while. McCoy hadn’t given any indication that he wanted her to, but with her arms so intimately around his waist, she suddenly felt shy again. It felt all wrong, and yet so incredibly right. Well, the way she was clinging to him, he’d hardly have the heart to push her away anytime soon. No, she had to let go first. It was certainly what he expected and patiently waited for. And she really didn’t want to test the limits of his patience.
“I’m sorry, Doctor,” Jenny smiled, pulling back and shivering against the sudden cold, as the doctor slowly let his hands slide down her arms before letting go completely, as if he wanted to make sure she was steady on her feet again. “Thank you.”
Or maybe he needed to steady himself? He’d seemed almost reluctant to let her go, too. But that was just wishful thinking.
“My pleasure, love,” McCoy drawled, his adorable accent suddenly thick, and the tenderness in his eyes, as he gazed at her, melting her heart. “You all right?”
“Better than all right,” she beamed, feeling elated, her body still glowing from his closeness and his tender touch. “This was just what I needed.”
The words were out before she realised what she was saying, and she could instantly feel the colour rising to her cheeks. The kindness he was showing her was clearly going to her head. But McCoy’s affectionate gaze never faltered.
“Told you I knew you well,” he smiled, his words sending shivers down her spine, and while she was still trying to figure out whether to feel soothed or excited, he added, “Unfortunately, I need to prepare for my next patient now, but how about having coffee with me this evening, and then we can talk some more?”
Jenny’s heart was hammering so loudly in her chest, she was afraid the doctor might hear it. She’d really missed their coffee evenings, which, for some reason, had ended abruptly several weeks ago.
“I’d like that,” she finally managed to reply, taking a couple of steps back and hearing the sliding doors hiss open behind her. “Since I used to work with you, and you said yourself that you know me well, maybe you can even tell me something about myself that Christine and Nyota haven’t yet?”
“I just might,” McCoy nodded, his voice soft and warm, his sparkling eyes following Jenny as she practically danced out of his office.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Going to see McCoy had been a mistake, Chekov thought morosely, looking past the pretty ensign from engineering, who was making eyes at him, to where Hope and McCoy were sitting in a cosy corner of the observation deck, looking as in love as they always had. It was just like before Jenny’s coma, only that it hurt so much more today, because he’d really thought he was in with a chance. Jenny had definitely been behaving differently towards him these last few weeks.
But talking to the doctor about her had been a silly idea. All he’d done was probably just remind McCoy not to let Hope slip through his fingers. Only a few hours ago, the doctor had told him to be careful and take it slow, and now he was flirting with Hope himself. Why the two of them weren’t together in the first place, was beyond him. Watching them, it was perfectly clear that they wanted each other. And why would anyone in their right mind not want Jenny, when they could so obviously have her?
But maybe it was only really her who was in love with him? Maybe the doctor just needed his ego massaged? Or even worse, just wanted her flawless body in his bed? Chekov was appalled at the very idea, feeling outraged just looking at McCoy seductively smiling at Jenny.
Granted, he didn’t actually believe that taking advantage of a woman was something the doctor would do. But his divorce had made him bitter, and he’d definitely once or twice mentioned avoiding commitment ever since. Chekov had certainly never seen McCoy in a serious relationship. And come to think of it, he’d only ever seen the doctor charm and flirt with women on shore leave, or when they were guests on the Enterprise.
Oh! There’s a thought!
Maybe that was the reason? Maybe McCoy didn’t get involved with anyone from the crew? But then, why keep Hope from finding love with anyone else? Surely, even the doctor must see how affectionate and giving Hope was. And that she needed and deserved to be truly loved and treasured in return.
-x-x-x-x-x-
McCoy hadn’t felt that good in ages. Seeing Hope so relaxed, so cheerful again, was balm to his soul. He really shouldn’t have withdrawn from her. She’d told him all about her fears, and he felt extremely guilty for not having been there for her sooner. For letting his own hurt get in the way of supporting her when she’d so desperately needed him. He’d been so busy nursing his own heartache, that he’d completely ignored that Hope might have fears of her own, simply assuming she’d be all right, not knowing what she was missing, anyway.
But he wasn’t going to let that happen again. Seeing her worries dissolve and her confidence return as they talked, made his heart swell with love and happiness. They’d always been good at reassuring and comforting each other. Nothing seemed to have changed there. Hope still chose him to confide in, trusted him to help her fix things. The realisation sent a surge of humble gratitude through him, and he made a silent promise not to fail her again.
Over the course of the evening, McCoy told her endless stories about her time in sickbay and their missions, and Hope soaked up every word. He couldn’t tell her how every little thing she’d done had made him fall crazy in love with her, of course. Didn’t mention anything about shore leave, or the night she’d spent in his arms in a cave on a mission before that. But he could tell her all about the wonderful things she’d done, from taking care of children to saving people’s lives, and let her know that he admired her for all of that.
Perhaps he’d been wrong in his assessment not to interfere with her memories. Considering that she might never actually recover those two years, maybe it was okay to give her more than just the facts. Maybe telling her of his feelings about certain events, or even whether she’d liked or enjoyed something herself, was all right. And judging from the delight on her face and the eagerness with which she kept asking for ever more details, it certainly was.
Hope had always been endearingly sentimental and loved trips down memory lane. And from the way her eyes were gleaming now, he could tell that she was enjoying herself immensely, listening to him telling her stories about things she didn’t remember. Maybe this was their new way of reminiscing, at least until they’d made new, real memories together.
When they were almost the only ones left on the observation deck, McCoy gently suggested that it was time to go to bed, and the happy mood was a little subdued when they had to go their separate ways, each to their own quarters. McCoy didn’t even dare to ‘walk her home’, as he would have loved to do, for fear of being too obvious. And afraid of not being able to simply say good night outside her quarters, of losing control and doing something stupid like kiss her. Baby steps, he told himself.
They arranged another ‘date’ for the next day, however, the doctor asking her to come see him in sickbay after her shift, since he wanted to check, and maybe update her medical knowledge a little before the landing mission the day after. Hope readily agreed, and McCoy was almost certain to see her eyes light up at the prospect of spending another evening with him.
That night, for the first time since Hope had fallen into a coma, McCoy’s bed didn’t seem as cold as it had for the past few weeks. The memory of holding her only hours before sent the warmest feelings through him. He’d had to be careful not to crush her in his eagerness to be as close to her as he possibly could, and If she hadn’t pulled away, he might not have been able to let her go at all.
As he was drifting off to sleep, smiling at the image of Hope’s animated face in his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder, if she might, somehow, be thinking about him right now, too.
Chapter 40
After a very restful night, full of sweet and tender dreams, Jenny started her shift with a happy smile on her face. After everything she’d learned about herself the evening before, she felt much more confident in her role as department head again. The doctor certainly knew how to boost someone’s confidence. She still couldn’t actually remember any of it, but McCoy had described things so vividly, and in such detail, she almost felt as if she’d actually been there. The way he’d talked about her and her experiences hadn’t felt like mere stories, but like something she would actually feel or do.
Obviously, he wasn’t exaggerating, when he told me that he knows me well, she thought fondly, the realisation making her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
But last evening had turned out even better than she’d hoped for in more ways than one. McCoy might not have had hearts in his eyes, but he clearly cared for her and had put a lot of thought and research in how to help her since she’d woken up. And the tenderness in his smile and in his voice, when he’d shared his memories of her, the endless patience with which he’d answered all of her questions, had convinced her that she couldn’t have been the reason for his recurring mood swings, after all.
Her colleagues in the linguistic department seemed to sense her shift of mind, too. They’d been incredibly supportive from the day she’d returned to duty after her coma, but today, the atmosphere was buzzing with new energy, as they prepared for the upcoming landing mission.
She didn’t know about her people skills, for which McCoy had been praising her last night, but she’d certainly always loved to be and work with people. And the doctor had definitely been right, when he’d told her that she was greatly respected and appreciated by her colleagues.
The best thing about today, however, was that she’d get to spend the evening, or at least part of it, with McCoy again. On official business, of course, but she still couldn’t wait to see him again after her shift.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Entering sickbay only minutes after alpha-shift had ended, Jenny couldn’t keep the eager grin from her face, hoping the doctor wouldn’t attribute her enthusiasm to her desire to be around him, but rather to her looking forward to brushing up on her medical skills.
“The doctor’s already waiting for you in his office,” Christine greeted her with a nod towards the open door.
“Thanks, Christine!” Jenny replied, hurrying by, then stopped in her tracks, when she saw her friend’s knowing smile.
“What?” she laughed, raising a quizzical eyebrow at Chapel.
“Nothing,” Christine shook her head, “it’s just good to have things back to normal.”
When it became clear that the nurse wasn’t offering any further explanation, Jenny continued on her way, making a mental note to grill her friend about this some more later.
The doctor, it seemed, had indeed been waiting for her, since he’d already prepared a few medical instruments on his desk, and also put the training dummy, in what looked like a rather painful position, right in the middle of his office floor.
“Hello, Hope,” McCoy greeted her with an easy smile, then pointed towards the dummy and grinned, “and right on time, too. Can’t wait to get your hands on my poor friend here, can you?”
“He looks quite a mess,” Jenny giggled. “Whatever happened to the guy?”
“Well, that’s for you to find out, my dear,” the doctor chuckled. “I hope you can help him. Let’s see, if you’ve still got it!”
Jenny felt her heart beat faster. What was she supposed to do now? She briefly closed her eyes, unsure where to start. But then, looking back at the dummy, she just let her body take over, her brain following right after, as suddenly every move, every step of the procedure was coming back to her.
She could feel McCoy’s watchful eyes on her while she was working away, and it should have made her feel nervous. But, surprisingly, all it did was give her a warm, glowing feeling inside.
When she was done, the dummy safely recuperating on the doctor’s couch, Jenny looked expectantly at McCoy, and was rewarded with an appreciative nod and a thumbs-up.
“Your medical knowledge is definitely still there,” the doctor smiled. “What you did was way more than your standard first aid training would provide. I’m impressed.”
“Thank you!” Jenny beamed, unable to suppress a little victorious squeal, and raising her hand for a high-five. “I remember it all. That’s amazing!”
She was just about to drop her hand again, realising that it wasn’t really a 23rd century thing to do, when McCoy clapped his hand against hers with a wide grin on his face, the move seeming so natural, as if it were something he did every day.
I’ve quite obviously taught the crew some old traditions, Jenny thought amusedly.
“Come over here, now, Hope,” the doctor beckoned her over to his desk, “look at these instruments and tell me everything you know about them.”
It was easy. And to see her delight at finding all the knowledge still there mirrored in McCoy’s eyes, made her heart brim over with pride and joy.
“So, if this is still all there in my subconscious, then there’s still hope for my other memories, too, right?” Jenny raised hopeful eyes to McCoy’s.
“Well, yes! Considering that you remembered all the linguistic stuff, too, it sure is,” the doctor smiled encouragingly at her.
“Oh, the ‘linguistic stuff’ is not that surprising, really. I can rarely tell what information I’ve acquired during those last two years and what I’ve already known before, anyway. But this,” she waved her hand around the doctor’s office, “I really didn’t know anything about. Well, apart from the mere basics, of course.”
McCoy was beaming at her with such affection as she rambled on, overwhelmed by happiness, that Jenny wanted to throw herself into his arms right there and then.
“And if I remember all this, it’s still possible for me to regain my other memories as well, isn’t it?” she needed to check one more time.
“Yes, it is,” the doctor replied softly, and all of a sudden, Jenny didn’t know what to do with all the hopeful joy she was feeling.
How could she have known that her recovering all of her memories didn’t mean half as much to her as it did to him?
“Time for another hug?” McCoy suddenly asked, obviously sensing that her emotions were bubbling over.
This time she didn’t even wait for him to open his arms, and just flung herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck.
“Oh Doctor, I’m going to remember everything, I just know it!” she exclaimed, her voice muffled against his shirt, feeling his chuckles vibrating in his chest, as he closed his arms tightly around her waist.
“I’ve missed this,” McCoy laughed affectionately, clutching her to him, “this … ebullience.”
Jenny pulled back again, releasing the doctor and grinning sheepishly. She couldn’t make a habit of falling into his arms and just staying there. But even this short hug had felt like a little piece of heaven.
“Sorry Doctor,” she apologised, taking two steps back and straightening out her uniform, “I didn’t mean to be so forward, but I’m just having such a good day.”
McCoy perched on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms in front of his chest, his smiling eyes never leaving her face.
“So you’ve had a good day today?” he grinned in this adorable way that lit up his whole face and made you wonder how he ever managed to look grumpy at all.
“A very good one,” Jenny confirmed. “Thanks to you.”
“Me?” he asked, taken aback. “What did I do?”
Jenny couldn’t help laughing at the genuine confusion on his face.
“Yes, you,” she repeated quietly. “You have no idea how much last evening meant to me. You’ve helped me so much, and I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to tell me all those little details about myself, for restoring my confidence in myself. I feel so much better now, and I’m sure my whole department does, too. Which is really a good thing, given that we’re going planetside tomorrow.”
McCoy just looked at her, his kind eyes searching her face, but for what, she had no idea.
Just as Jenny was starting to feel a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny, he finally asked, “Nervous about tomorrow?”
Jenny just shrugged. Of course, she was.
“No need to be,” he said softly, his voice low and soothing. “You’ll do great.”
“Was I nervous before my actual first assignment?”
“A little,” the doctor smiled, tilting his head to the side and gazing warmly at her.
“I’m glad you’re coming, too. I feel safer when you’re around,” Jenny murmured, immediately hating how immature and insecure she sounded, but McCoy’s gaze softened even more.
“Happy to hear that,” he replied, “but you’d be perfectly fine on you own, too.”
“Says the man who’s constantly kept an eye on me since the moment I woke up,” she chuckled, her heart melting, as she thought about how he’d always managed to show up somewhere close by, even after one of his mood swings had had him run off in a hurry shortly before.
“That obvious, huh?” McCoy grinned self-consciously, shaking his head slightly.
“Don’t worry,” Jenny said quickly, not wanting him to feel bad about caring. “It gives me security, I like it.”
Then she suddenly remembered him being a father.
“Have you always been looking out for me?” she asked, wishing she could just reach out and touch him. “I mean, even before?”
McCoy just tilted his head again, which she took as a yes.
“And did I not like it then?”
Jenny was curious now. Surely, she’d have appreciated someone trying to keep her safe?
“Maybe not all the time,” the doctor chuckled, looking at her almost lovingly. “You’re quite a strong and capable lady. But you know that, of course.”
Jenny smiled and shook her head. When had this conversation become so intimate? She suddenly felt as if she knew the doctor. Really knew him. They’d definitely been close before. That’s probably what Christine had meant earlier, it suddenly occurred to her.
McCoy really liked her, she could feel it. And come to think about it, he did sometimes act like an overprotective father. The only question was, had she seen him as a father-figure before? Or had she always had this silly crush on him? She might never know, she realised. And she could just as easily have been in love with Chekov or anyone else, and not remember it.
Blasted amnesia!
“Am I different than before?” she suddenly blurted.
McCoy looked at her pensively for a long time, a tender smile on his lips. He had this gift for making people feel special when he talked to them, for showing them they mattered. The way he listened so attentively, carefully thinking about his answers, completely focused on whoever he was talking to, as if there were no place he’d rather be. Jenny had observed this numerous times, both professionally in sickbay and privately in the mess or recreation room. And she certainly enjoyed it, whenever she was being the centre of his attention. Like now.
“Not really,” the doctor said after a while. “A little less confident, maybe, since some or your experience is missing. In a way, you’re more like the woman you were when you first came aboard the Enterprise. An endearing trace of shyness and insecurity underneath all that strength and sass. But other than that, you’re completely the same. Brave, kind and brilliant.”
Jenny’s heart was threatening to spill over at his words, his approval suddenly seeming the most important thing in the world.
“But you don’t have to worry, love,” he went on, her heart skipping a beat like it did every time he called her ‘love’, even though she knew he was very generous with terms of endearment when talking to patients. “Even if you don’t get all of the last two years back, and I still think there’s a great chance you will, you’ll soon grow to be the person, you were only a few weeks ago, again. And going on that mission tomorrow is a first step.”
While Jenny was still processing everything the doctor had just said, he glanced at the chronometer, then put a gentle hand to the small of her back and smilingly steered her towards the door.
“Speaking of which,” he grinned, as the doors slid shut behind them, “I think it’s time to grab something to eat and then go rest up for tomorrow!”
Go back to:
Chapters 1-5
Chapters 6-10
Chapters 11-15
Chapters 16-20
Chapters 21-25
Chapters 26-30
Chapters 31-35
Or read it on AO3: Another Life
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Disclaimer:
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.
