Here is the beginning of my next chapter of Kiki the Unkillable, my MCi(and out and in and out of)Thedas.
Kiki is a philosophy professor who keeps dreaming of Dragon Age. She dies… a lot.
This is very much still WIP, so please be forgiving.
Ch 16: When Kiki Worried That She’d Had Too Much of a Good Thing
Life must be understood backward. But it must be lived forward .”
-Søren Kierkegaard
They’d managed to drop into a timeline before Solas killed Elgar’nan. Kiki wasn’t entirely sure how it was that she navigated through the Thedas timeline, and one of her goals for when the semester finished was to just put it all up on a giant whiteboard and map it out. There was a logic to it, she just didn’t entirely know what it was yet.
Solas seemed mostly pleased to see her, and apologized for her being electrocuted. For him, that had apparently happened just a day ago. For Kiki it was several weeks, many deaths, and more than one Thedosian apocalypse ago.
“Lady Caoimhe,” Solas said, the edges of his falsely patient tone sharp enough to cut, “what wisdom shall you grace me with today?”
“Hey, Elf-man, maybe don’t be a dick to the only person in Thedas who doesn’t give up on you and your bullshit.” Apparently Nate was through with Solas. He hadn’t even been eaten by darkspawn. His ancient-elf bullshit threshold was definitely lower than Kiki’s.
Kiki did enjoy the shocked expression on Solas’s face. At this point in history, Solas was the leader of the Elvhen rebellion–he was used to being respected, adored, and obeyed. Nate did none of those things.
“Master Nate,” Solas said sharply. “I do not know you, nor what you accuse me of, but have a care with your words, lest some take them to be insults beyond the pale of decency.”
Kiki spoke before the two men could unbutton their pants and begin measuring. “Solas, I’ve spent a lot of time seeing different futures that you have created, and they are all pretty terrible.”
“You had told me about this earlier, have you seen more?” Solas switched off his pissed off warlord attitude and pulled on a mien of respectable professorial attention. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but Solas seemed to think that he was the only one who was capable of insight.
“Let’s sit down and talk about this, it might be easier for you,” Kiki said with a bit of a resigned sigh. “Could you ask Felassan to join us? He is pivotal in this.”
There was a moment of sputtering and confusion in Solas, as he didn’t know that she knew Felassan, and then Felassan arrived and spouted off some racist crap about her being a Shemlen, and Nate called him an idiotic knife-ear, and that was just pleasant for everyone.
“When you’re all done measuring, please let me know,” Kiki said with an irritated look at the three of them.
Nate had the decency to look mildly ashamed, and Felassan and Solas looked confused, and then she watched as understanding dawned on them. Insults and allusions to dick measuring contests translated to ancient elven men just fine.
Solas leaned back against his desk, Felassan sprawled in a plush chair and Nate propped himself up against the wall, tension thrumming in his body. Kiki ignored them all and paced, not sure where to start.
“I know of your plan to kill Elgar’nan,” she started and Felassan’s indolent look vanished and was replaced by the ancient general she knew he was.
“What knowledge do you have, and from where have you stolen it, Shemlen?” Felassan spat, his hands on his knees.
Kiki ignored him and continued. “Your plan will fail as it is. You need more time to prepare. A few dozen years, I believe you told me, Solas.” Now it was Solas’s turn to look surprised.
“But none of this matters,” she continued. “Elgar’nan dead, or alive, Thedas gets destroyed.” She pointed to Solas, “And you destroy it. Every time.”
He waved a dismissive hand at her, obviously irritated, and covering his emotions with obnoxiously false interest and patience. “Everything that I have ever done is to protect the People–my people–from harm.” He sat down on the settee. “It is absurd to think that all of my actions are negative.
“Damn it, do you think this is fun?” she asked them, jabbing Solas in the chest. “I think I have to stop you from fucking up your world before I can get a good night’s sleep. I am sick of this!”
@vanillastrange, @elfyroot @nirikeehan If you want in?
@theluckywizard, thank you for the tag and the push :)
