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INTRO
hey, this is my faggy youtube rpf blog. it's a sideblog, so i'll be interacting from my main account (you'll find out)
all of my works will be in this collection on ao3, it's anon because i don't want my irl friends finding out about it LMAO
more about who/what i write
My Virtual Escape 2 - Chapter 3
(Chapter 3 Cover drawn by @Novazaru on Twitter)
It was only a couple of hours prior that she had traveled between worlds. One moment she was alone, finding her way through the woods, and the next, she’s tied up in an interrogation room with her brother. What a night it’s been. Eve's eyes begin to flutter awake, she can barely make out the shape of the woman in front of her, an arm extending before Eve's eyes begin to close once again. Samantha brings her hand thundering down as she swiftly smacks Eve, with Isaac immediately screaming out "Don't you fucking touch her!"
Samantha grasps her own hand, attempting to soothe the stinging sensation, looking towards Isaac with amusement as he struggles to break free. Her guards raise their weapons towards Isaac but Samantha signals for them to stand down, her expression once again souring as Eve lets out a strained gasp. "Good, that ought to wake you up." Samantha says, "It's time we have a little chat."
The disgruntled woman rips the light from its position, pointing it at Eve. Even still, the blinding light is a comfort compared to the daggers in Samantha's eyes piercing Eve's very core. "What's your angle? Thinking you can waltz on in here, gain my trust and break me down?" Samantha shouted. Eve stammered, her heart pounding. "No I-" Samantha’s hand slams down onto the arm of the chair. "What? Do you think you’re invincible? Well you're not..." She glared at her, the hint of compassion in her eyes long gone and replaced by a strained anger. She quickly directs her eyesight to Isaac, and her frown almost turns to a grimace. She scoffs. "You're a traitor, no better than HE is."
Isaac rolls his eyes, “Oh come on that’s bullshit and you know it.” Eve quickly interjects to try and salvage the situation, "L-listen! everything we talked about upstairs? everything I told you? it was the truth! you gotta believe me.. please!". Eve's words pass through Samantha, ignoring her platitudes, which is noticed by Isaac. "I received a ping that there was illegal activity involving the use of XP, and that ping happened to bring me here. nothing more, nothing less.".
Staring Isaac down, Samantha lets go of the light and walks over to him, kneeling to his level, gives him a slight chuckle before her face falls once again and sternly says, "You really expect me to believe that, huh?" Samantha then grabs Isaac's face with one hand, hatred in her eyes as she begins to yell out. "Raids happening constantly, and as soon as another one begins, you and your bitch of a sister show up at my doorstep?" She pauses before shaking his face. "Got an answer for that!" Both stare quietly at each other, Isaac only registering her insult towards Eve before speaking in a quiet rage. "Shut the fuck up.", Isaac's retort only further frustrates Samantha.
A guard taps her shoulder, "Our informant has pressing news." Getting up Samantha motions for the guards to follow, one of them protests. "But what about-" She coldly interrupts as she makes her way out the door, "Leave the disaster twins." Staring Isaac down she continues. "They won't be going anywhere anytime soon."
Eve swats her head to the side. "Ugh! The nerve on that girl.. am I right Isaa-" Isaac angrily interjects. "What the fuck did I tell you, Eve?" Eve's eyes look away from Isaac as she smiles nervously, she mutters, "I-uh... haha.. I can assure you, Isaac, there's a very good explanation for all of this!" Isaac closes his eyes in frustration. "We don't got time for this shit!" Snarling back at Eve. "Listen, I need you to grab the knife I stashed in my back pocket.” "A-Alright..." She reaches for Isaac's knife from the gap between the chair rest and the seat. Isaac continues “Since that fuckin' genius put our chairs together, you can reach the rope." Eve’s held back by her ties, straining as she reaches. Eventually she is able to wrestle the knife out of his pocket and cuts both of them loose. Relieved, Isaac whispers to Eve. "Make sure not to call any attention, you hear me Eve? Just follow my lead." She gives her brother a smile, wink and a thumbs up, free at last.
Free from the chairs that is, they still have a whole base to escape from. The siblings make a break for the door, only stopping because they notice guards littering the hallway. Eve looks up at her brother concerned, “What are we gonna do Isaac?” She whispers. He scans around the rooms and notices an Armory, signaling Eve, they sneak across the hall into the room. A guard turns to his friend, “Hey you ever wonder why we’re here?” The second guard replies, “One of life’s biggest mysteries.” A confused look dawns on the other’s face, “What?”.
Eve and Isaac crept quietly into the Armory, “Grab a gun.” he sternly said, already loading a pistol. Eve looks at her selection carefully, before laying her eyes on a jet black handgun with white flower engravings across the barrel. “I found mine!” Eve excitedly remarks, Isaac yells out in a loud whisper “Shhh, just don’t trip over those gun mags!”. Like clockwork Eve trips, she looks down at her foot to see a sports magazine amongst the littered bullets, she stares up at her brother, “It wasn’t from a gun.” Suddenly yells of “This way, They’re over here!” Eve gives Isaac a nervous smirk while he just sighs and shoots a man in the head. “Come on” he says as she grabs the gun and sprints out the room, Isaac continues to make his shots while Eve shoots blindly, “Eve.” Isaac puts his hand on her shoulder, “You have to actually aim.” he states as he casually shoots someone behind him without looking. The two reach the door when a Big Guy blocks the door, Eve attempts to aim but the shot ricochets Eve into multiple walls, the floor, the ceiling, everywhere.
Both Isaac and the massive guard witness this with their eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, Eve then gets slammed into Big Guy with reckless abandon, launching him outside. “We gotta get the fuck out of here!” Isaac lifts Eve up who is in a daze, “Let’s go Eve.” He carries her through the woods, hiding from a search party, “C’mon… c’mon… leave, stop searching these fuckass woods.” Isaac whispers to himself, one of the search team wanders into the area right next to them. Being through enough, Isaac knows that shooting the man would alert the rest of them, slowly putting his gun down he draws out his knife. Sweating, he sneaks behind his oblivious foe, “Solo Team B, Nothing at my location, over.” That’s all Isaac needs to hear from the man before grabbing the collar of his shirt and gutting his throat, Eve begins to wake up. “Isaac?” She stammers but he hushes her, while looking to see the search party leaving the area, they both collapse and catch their breath, looking towards Eve and processing tonight’s events, Isaac can only say one thing, “Eve, What the fuck.”
Eve tilts her head toward Isaac, still catching her breath, but she can’t help but laugh, her brother’s confused expression making her laugh a bit more. “WOO!” She yells out before giving Isaac finger guns, Isaac composes himself before restating what he said earlier, “Eve… What the fuck?” Eve continues to laugh as Isaac sighs, “Alright, get up you crazy kid.” The two leave heading out of the forest away from the base towards the wastelands.
Dissociative Identity Disorder/ Other Specified Dissociative Disorder
In October of 2022 watching Moon Knight because Cinema Therapy did a video about it saw a bit and was like well I have Disney plush and its Oscar Isaac, (Poe) so let’s watch it. Little did I know our life will change after that. I Alice don’t remember watching Moon Knight the first time or watching The Making of before watching the Series. The only think I Alice remember is episode 2 but it’s a 3rd person prospective. I remember right before and after watching the series and for 2 weeks having non stop panic attacks and not know why. Some of the thoughts I do remember like, “this happens to me all the time”, “Other people experience this” “I don’t have DID because I don’t have Amnesia but other than that it’s all relatable” “This is how I experience being Trans or having an OCD voice” (being Trans is real what I’m referring is the body looking like someone else and me thinking that’s what it meant to be Trans, only time feeling Dysphoria) and searching “Is it possible to have DID and no Amnesia” “Is it possible to be Autistic and have DID” “How Steven and Marc interacts with each other, well that’s too relatable” “Have to show this to my mom because I can finally explain what I experience” watching DID channels to look more into it and every video, every article, every post. The more and more I read, the more and more was like umm “So all those weird things that happens, and I don’t tell anyone even my therapist at that time because If I say it out loud what’s happing they will think I’m weird and the fact that we brushed it off all as having Autism, other people experience theses, what?” but still being like “I don’t have this because I don’t have Amnesia” (Later in November finding out OSDD-1b and still being like nah TW: my trauma isn’t that bad, now knowing more about it and being like that happened what ohh:) and in October started to look like Steven Grant and me being like “Well this is normal, It’s the phase where I look like someone else”, (because this happens with different people) it happened in July of 2022 with Neal Caffrey from White Collar, felt like was about to happen but didn’t (Now we understand that Steven is either was a Fragment that turned into an Alter as he was figuring out his identity or he was an Alter but didn’t really identify with a particular look yet and was trying figure himself out, because this reminds me especially of high school, well I couldn’t control what I was saying when getting excited (but now with a British Dialect, which I Alice can not control, or feeling things for guys but at the same time not since young) and it happened with Isaac Kalder in high school and he was the first Alter that I Alice was able to see and similar things happens with him, rewatching The Devil Inside and My Virtual Escape from McJuggerNuggets on YouTube later after knowing DID/OSDD being like “Oh my, did not realize, how much Isaac was Passive Influencing us” Literally how he talked, walked, songs that he listened to how he handled his depression or when someone triggered him. In 2019 I Alice feel bad about this now, threw all of the clothes that he bought (except one), stopped listening to songs that he liked, stoped watching TDI and MVE (even though gave us comfort) because was like every time I look like him. I’m sad, I feel dysphoric, I want to look like him, to the point I Alice was forgetting what the body looked like and forgot the body’s biological gender or forget that Alice is a thing, depression, which caused him to go dormant until 2021 where I started to hear him from the inside but with his voice) (Sorry🙁). and also TDI is like an accidental representation of DID because I remember now rewatching (the first time I Alice do not have those memories just remember right before and after, when TDI was out but not MVE, just like Steven absorbed those feelings) TDI when the split happened because a lot of stressful thing happened at that time, being like well I can relate to Jesse because he switches with his characters that he has from his childhood and can’t control what’s happening.
And in December still not think I have OSDD-1b but thinking maybe I’m just really autistic so I don’t understand my emotions at all, “Is there any similarities between TDI/MVE and Moon Knight” and the amount of things that are similar was like “wtf”, and later rewatching Moon Knight and getting told why they related to Moon Knight other than the DID symptoms and well yeah. The amount of things in Moon Knight that tides into our childhood is actually astounding especially Steven, which make sense, when watching a movies, series your brain lights up the same way as if it were happening, (TW: my leading theory before I knew this was a thing was, the stuff that happened when younger that’s how we reacted, felt and those same brain frequencies were getting turned on:)
Difference and similarities
btw there are other Alters just talking about Isaac and Steven and well Alice/Ashla.
Isaac Kalder
Similarity: Identifies like 90% with his source
Difference: His age is 19 and the source he’s 18, I think it’s because I Alice always wanted an older brother and now the body is 19 so he’s like a month older, I always saw him as an older brother even before knowing about the System)
Steven
Similarity: Identifies with the look, name, dialect, how he carries himself, body cadence, just more romantic (finding these thing along the way being like why do you do that, I guess that’s a different thing from your source that’s cool and rewatching it being like oh that’s where that quality cam from)
Difference: He’s more like Episode 5 when Steven (MCU) is comforting Marc and now he’s more confident in himself, basically after Season 1. It’s like instead of (TW warning: the trauma that happened to Marc, Steven and Jake it’s replaced with what happened to us. also he’s a Subsystem (For us an Alter in a Alter) mostly because of flashback that happened fair recently and yeah, all those flashback kind of went to Steven and he kind of split with Llewyn Davis from Inside Llewelyn Davis, that was confusing when it was happening, now Steven is more bi they kind of passive influence each other sometimes but when triggered Steven kind of goes inside and Llewyn kind of comes out. DEPRESSION, Steven and Llewyn are kinda figure things with Isaac where if Llewyn feels more the same way which when the split happened Llewyn did absorb the liking guys thing more:) (our Steven is more Romantic I guess the feeling of love)
Alice/Ashla (Biological Female but doesn’t really identify with that mostly so I guess I’m Non-Binary, still figure things out, I do like woman though no question about that)
Love Star Wars and Moon Knight and Disney and McJuggerNuggets content. It’s rare for me to feel like Alice but when I do it feels weird, higher voice etc so kind of go by Ashla just like that name mostly because it’s a SW thing.
It make sense that we have a lot of fictives, Autism and because of it have hard time connecting with people and understand peoples actions and only able to relate, and understand fictional characters, or since younger only having emotional comfort from fictional characters, and love everything about film from filming it, acting, voice acting editing, sound design and want to do those things we want to do, we all like different aspects of the Film process
Consent forms:
Alice/Ashla: I agree to publish this
Steven/Llewyn: Yeah sure. We agree to this s***
Isaac: Okay
Psycho kid feels country ending makes pinocchio and alice cry *emotional meme *
I know yall probably don't watch Mcjuggernuggets/Bigbrudda/Rugenus but this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time
Meme them please lmao
bitch
- ❝ the devil outside. (part 2) ❞ -
