mcvadi headcanons
creds: layout gif fluff - good ol' yuri fluff. i love them so much.
• the first time mckay made javadi blush (and realized she was in trouble)
it started innocently enough, or at least that's what cassie tells herself when she replays the moment in her mind late at night. they were reviewing a patient chart together, standing close in a cramped room, and victoria had made some brilliant observation about a medication interaction that even cassie had missed.
without thinking, cassie had leaned in, her voice dropping to that warm tone she reserves for people who genuinely impress her, and said, "you know, javadi, you're kind of brilliant when you let yourself be." victoria's cheeks flooded with color, her eyes went wide and then darted away. then she stammered something about "just doing my job," it did something to cassie. made her chest feel tight in a way she hadn't experienced in years.
now cassie finds herself doing it on purpose sometimes. just little things. a hand on victoria's shoulder that lingers a moment too long, a compliment delivered with eye contact that stretches past comfortable, standing just a bit closer than necessary when they're reviewing scans. it's dangerous territory, and cassie knows it. but she can't seem to stop herself from testing the boundaries, from seeing how far she can push before one of them has to acknowledge what's happening between them.
• the patient transfer (or: when victoria discovered cassie's arms)
it happened during a code in the hallway. a patient crashing, the bed stuck, and they needed to move him to the trauma bay immediately. cassie didn't hesitate. she grabbed one end of the bed frame and lifted, muscles flexing under her scrubs, and barked orders for everyone to move. victoria grabbed the other end, but she was barely helping. she was too busy staring at the way cassie's forearms tensed, the definition visible even through the fabric, the way her shoulders set as she took most of the weight.
they got the patient to trauma, got him stabilized, but the whole time victoria's brain was somewhere else entirely. somewhere deeply unprofessional. she'd known cassie was tall, and had noticed the athletic build, but seeing her actually use that strength did things to victoria that she absolutely could not be feeling in the middle of a medical emergency. when it was over, when the patient was stable and the team was dispersing, victoria found herself still staring. cassie caught her looking, raised an eyebrow. "something on your mind, javadi?"
victoria's face went hot. "just... that was impressive. the lift." smooth. very smooth. cassie's lips quirked into something that wasn't quite a smile but was definitely amused. "i work out," she said simply, and victoria's brain unhelpfully supplied about fifteen different images of what that might look like. "clearly," victoria managed, and then, because apparently she'd lost all sense of self-preservation: "do you, um. do you rock climb? you have the build for it." cassie's eyebrow went higher. "i do, actually. how'd you know?" "lucky guess," victoria said, which was a lie. she'd been cataloging every detail of cassie's body for months now, filing away observations she had no business making about her attending.
later, victoria would replay the moment in her mind. the flex of cassie's arms, the set of her jaw, the casual display of strength that had made victoria's mouth go dry.
she'd think about those arms in contexts that had nothing to do with patient care, imagine them in situations that would definitely violate several hospital policies. and when she caught herself daydreaming during rounds the next day, cassie's voice snapped her back to reality. "javadi. with us?" victoria looked up to find cassie watching her with an expression that was far too knowing. "always," victoria replied, but her voice came out rougher than intended, and the way cassie's eyes darkened suggested she knew exactly where victoria's mind had been.
• the way they find each other in crowded rooms
it becomes a thing between them, unspoken but undeniable. cassie will be in the middle of rounds, discussing a case with a group of residents, and she'll feel it. that pull, that awareness. she'll look up, scan the hallway or the nurses' station or the cafeteria, and there victoria will be, already looking back.
their eyes will meet across the space, and for a moment everything else falls away. sometimes victoria smiles, small and private, just for her.
sometimes she just holds cassie's gaze, and the intensity of it makes cassie forget what she was saying. sometimes cassie sees something in victoria's expression, stress, exhaustion, sadness, and she'll find a way to extract herself from whatever she's doing, to casually end up wherever victoria is, to offer a quiet "you okay?" that really means "i see you, i'm here, you're not alone."
• the small moments that keep them going
i can imagine mckay being level headed and not engaging in a relationship with her subordinate… but who can resist javadi
they develop a language of small gestures and stolen moments. cassie learns that victoria stress-eats gummy bears, so she starts keeping a bag in her office desk, casually offering them when she sees victoria getting overwhelmed.
they find excuses to be near each other that are just plausible enough to maintain professional distance. cassie asks victoria to help with research projects. victoria volunteers to assist on cassie's comminity runs.
they take their coffee breaks at the same time, sitting in the cafeteria or the courtyard, talking about cases and life and everything in between. cassie tells victoria about her divorce, about the challenges of single parenthood, about her fears and insecurities.
victoria opens up about her family, about the pressure she feels to succeed, about her own doubts and dreams. they learn each other in layers, building something deeper than attraction, something that feels like it could last.
cassie is having a particularly bad day. harrison is sick, her ex is being difficult about custody arrangements, and she's exhausted and stressed and close to tears. victoria finds her in the attending lounge, takes one look at her face, and without a word pulls her into a hug.
cassie stiffens for a moment, then melts into it, letting herself be held, letting herself take comfort. "it's going to be okay," victoria murmurs against her hair. "you're doing great. harrison is lucky to have you." when they finally pull apart, cassie's eyes are wet. "thank you," she whispers. "for seeing me." "always," victoria replies, and means it.
