#meanwhile in hell

[meanwhile-in-hell]

I know not to expect an answer (at least publicly)... but how many of these blogs are there? I'm presuming they're all run by the same person, but the meanwhile-in... notifications get me through my day at this point and I keep finding more! I'm aware of this, the bookshop, cottage, crowleys flat, and supreme archangel in heaven, am I missing any?

@meanwhile-in-hell is an indeependent and EVIL entitee run by DEMONS

unlyke the traytor blog @meanwhile-at-crowleys-flat

absolootlee unlyke archwankwings blog @meanwhile-in-heaven

entyrelee unlyke the book angle embassy blog @meanwhile-at-the-bookshop

defuhnutlee unlyke the coffee hyooman blog @meanwhile-at-the-coffeeshop

and is in a compleetlee alternuhtiv universe from @meanwhile-at-the-cottage

[agoddamn]

On this dark day, I bring the news that Zero's Heroes art is hideous.

[meanwhile-in-hell]

This week in hell has bin very bizzee with the audits reports duwe for the fiskal century. Furfur culd not find last centuries rekwasishuns figures and tooday his search took him to Beelzebub’s former throwne room. The Demon Josh let him in and told him to lok up when he was done becawse Josh had work to do in the second circle and wuld be gone for the rest of the day. Furfur did not have to look for long to reelyze the payperwerk he needed was not there. He desided to take advantige of the situayshun to do something he had always wanted; he sat in the throwne and took a long nap.

[meanwhile-in-hell]

tooday shax went to earth to pick up her mail from the demon the traiter crowley. they met at their yewsual bench at the duk pond, where they’ve met many times over the last few years. the storm over london seemd to clear just before their skeduled meeting tyme…possibly becawse shax and crowley expected it to.

after collecting her subscriptions and bills and trading some info about the goings on in hell and on earth, they looked out at the smiling laughing hyoomans walking past them. demons aren’t really meant to do happyness. but, cawsing panic and tormenting and tempting and being generally evil surely makes demons happy.

…righte?

she thought abowt their conversayshun on this bench last summer when crowley had sed something about angels and demons being ‘poyntless.’ she felt uncomfortabull but she was suddenlee saying “you know…sometymes i look arownd hell and wonder… are they happy? are we happy?”

after a whyle, crolwey sed “shax, i think we can sayfely say that we are not.”

he left her siting on the bench alowne and soon the storm started up uhgain.

@meanwhile-at-crowleys-flat

[meanwhile-in-hell]

tooday eric wus discorporated multipul tymes after admitteeng he had just been jokeeng wen he sed tempteeng oasis to do a reeyewnyun tore wuld be an eesee and fun way to wen human souls. it has not been eesee or fun and hell is far to understaft for this nonsinss.

[meanwhile-in-hell]

tooday in admisshuns one of the damned likked the walls. it cawsed so much payperwerk.

[meanwhile-in-hell]

tooday eric took a (reluhtivlee) smawl hellhownd for a short walk in soho. he convinst it to look like a reguler dog, moor or less. thay past a hewman carryeeng a bocks of plants and the hewman stopt to ask to pet the hellhownd. then the hellhownds eyes glowd red and the hewman yelpt and flayld and ran away very fasst, droppeeng a smawl potted plant as thay sped down wickburr street.

[meanwhile-in-hell]

for the last few weeks furfur kept sirching for the rekwsishuns inventory records. tooday, what he fownd insted was a report he wrote up after a saterday nite in 1980 when he had to go to earth to find a joonyer demon who was two days late reterning from an assinement. furfur found him at a disco club in new york city. insted of reterning to hell right away, he and the joonyer demon stayed at the club for the rest of the nite. today, furfur chekt his earth time calendar and saw it’s a saterday. he fownd that same joonyer demon who started to tell him how frustrayted he was abowt this hole audit debockle. furfur stopt him and said “it’s a new day… a saterday. let’s go up to earth and do some fissical check ins and cownts insted.” furfur emfasized the ‘saterday,’ and gave him a significant look. after a long pawse, the joonyer demon seemed to be trying very hard to repress a very undemonic smile. then the two demons kwikly headed for the elevator.