I Am A Fantasy Creature (Writing Prompt)
It's a late night, I'm walking over to Jerry's to chat over a bottle of wine one of the humans accidentally left behind over at the camp grounds. The young people like to come a lot and trash the place, often leaving things behind. He figured hey, they didn’t want it right? And invited me over to share it with him.
Here I am walkin’ along, my big beautiful lengthy legs step by step getting me where I need to go. I love my legs. They carry and support my gentle little body, and keep me very far from the filthy ground. That might be an odd thing to like about one’s legs but there's really not much else of me. I have my two limbs and I'm proud of them both, they serve me well.
I made my way through the woods and then back toward the people homes and was just enjoying my night y’know? All the nocturnal critters and such hunting, foraging, existing. It’s a beautiful world at night, I’m almost glad I only can travel at this time. I’d have to cut through a few yards to get over to Jerry’s, but it’s a short walk and though I am not very fast I’m at least courteous, quiet as I can be. I’d hate to be a bother.
This is something I do about three times a week at least so the route is familiar; I’m used to it. I’m not paying attention. Something catches my eye though, something near the back of the house across from the yard I am walking through. I see a glowing light with a little rectangle behind it, and a couple of the humans silhouetted before it, the light flashing over them. I started to wonder if it hurts their eyes. I have seen this object before, its called a cell phone. When the people come to the wilderness they often flash the lights at each other and the phone records them, and then they look at them together and smile. I think its a form of communication, like an abstract expression of affection.
Humans really like those phones, I've always wondered what it would be like to have one. If I were to ever have arms the first thing I might do is pick up and look at a cell phone and see what all the fuss is about. I hear the sounds of people and different pings and blings and fun little vibrations and lights but I'm never close enough to see what's on their screens. At least TV’s and computers are visible through windows and in store displays.
I cautiously walk by, but I just can’t help myself. They were standing with their backs to me, now looking at the screen at something they like and laughing. I shift directions hoping to get close enough to look. I forget though, I have these long ass fucking legs, my body is quite small in comparison so its a bit hard to see where I am treading at times. As I am trotting toward them my foot catches on a branch laying around and I stumble a little. The crunch of the leaves and twigs under my feet catch their attention. They turn around, shocked at the sight of me; looking up and pointing their bright flashy light at me. At first I think: hey maybe this is a good thing? They were not scared or angry, but making many noises I could not understand. And the light! They do this to things they like, right? Did they want to make friends? I’m not sure how to communicate so I just wander over to get a better look. As I got closer, I hear one of them say “Look at the LEGS on that thing. Do you see its body?? What the fuck is it?!”
Well that’s rude, I happen to like my legs. I look down at them, my beautiful, elegant legs. The legs that carry me everywhere. What about them is so bad if I'm lucky enough to have a body that is so kind to me? I turn and keep on walking and decide not to worry about it anymore. If they felt so repulsed by my appearance that they had to mislead me into thinking they were friendly just to mock me, I want none of it. This really hurt my feelings; my cousin Roger had the same shit happen to him about two months ago and I remember trying to reassure him that they didn’t mean any harm. Clearly that was wrong. I mean what is with these people?
I feel like we could have been friends. All I wanted was to see if they had games on their phone...
I sigh, and look up at the moon. Then I turn and continue my journey onward, wondering where the smelly, trash making meat sacks that destroy the forests and eat my animal friends got the audacity? I shouldn’t waste my time. I’m going to Jerry’s. Humans are good for one thing, and that’s making fucking wine. That stuff is pretty great, even if it makes me feel funny.
The next evening I would be wandering through town clutching a bag of snack cakes in my teeth I found in a dumpster behind the gas station when I passed an open window. The television was on in this room, and they were broadcasting this video of me wandering innocently over to the humans to see if their phone had games. I hear: "...and on to the next story for tonight, A Terrifying Monster Approaches A Young Couple During Their Weekend AirBnB Retreat... CAUGHT ON VIDEO!" With a narrator and a slowed down play by play analyzing my movements, approximating my height, and some disturbing sounds I can only assume they’re implying are my form of speech. Do they really think I sound like that??? These fucking flesh lumps are profiling me! Just saying the most awful things about me and my wonderful legs. "Cryptid" they called me. “terrifying.” I’m not terrifying! I’m a nice guy, how could they have gotten that impression? What’s terrifying about me?! I’m the one who was afraid if anything. They’re at least a foot taller than me, lengthy appendages notwithstanding, so what the fuck? How awful.
Just wait until Jerry hears about this, He’s gonna be pissed.
(Fresno nightwalker)
