So I’m like super fucking thankful for aca because I now qualify for medicaid (even though my state was all “thanks but no thanks” for a few years before they took the federal funding), especially because it means I’m getting treated for all the stuff thats wrong with me instead of JUST mental health stuff (nothing to sneeze at)
This includes getting a CPAP machine
But it’s stressing me out.
Firstly, I’m havign trouble finding a mask that fits me well. Honestly at this point I really think it might be because I’m not a “sticky” person and I know that the mask doesn’t really “stick” to you but I think there’s some little bit of.. i don’t know how to describe it, but you press it to your face and the straps hold it there and it forms a seal, and I think maybe my skin just doesn’t like to form that seal? And I’ve tried 3 other masks and I can’t try another one till medicaid pays for it next year and just ugh. Current mask seems OK but I’m extra paranoid bc I had another mask that worked great the first few days and then was just UGH.
ADDITIONALLY, medicaid doesn’t pay to buy me a machine, they just rent it (which I get, probably costs them more money in the long run for people like ME but for people who are only temporarily on medicaid or who don’t use it, its prob money-saving), and they also take monthly data downloads to check my compliance (WHICH I FUCKING HATE THE WORD OMG), and it has to be 70% or they take away the machine... and that apparently translates to 4 hrs per night total (because they have no way of knowing how much I actually sleep they just do the math of how much an average person sleeps I guess?) and now I’m all paranoid that I’m going to have a rash of insomnia and not meet the minimum and Ugh I just UGHHH
But restarting my meds and getting them back into my system makes me extremely ill, and I can't. I'm so tired and I can't sleep, I'm so hungry and I can't eat, I'm so restless, but I can hardly get up to walk to the bathroom and back to my bed. I can't wait for this to be over. Hopefully just one more week of this. Stupid insurance not covering it, forcing my doctor to have to order samples for me, which took about a month(not her fault at all. She's working on an appeal with the insurance company.) Why do they have to be so heartless? Is it because I'm on Medicaid? Because I'm disabled? Not worthy of their money because of that? At least my family and doctors care. Fuck the insurance company, and fuck the government for this.