#meg barker

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psychotherapy/self help: meg barker rewriting the rules, 2018

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Continuing the Radical Love research, current reading list includes: 

Meg Barker - Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

Anthony Giddens - The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love, and Eroticism in Modern Societies 

David M. Ortmann, Sprott Richard - Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities 

Marion Solomon, Stan Tatkin - Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Meg Barker, Darren Langridge - Understanding Non-Monogamies

Submit your Radical Love Story Today!

The complexity and messiness of our own love stories can seem wrong when compared against the movie narrative that has become so familiar. But real life doesn’t follow a straight-forward script. If we’re not careful, we end up chasing an elusive once and for all happily ever after, either in one relationship, or from relationship to relationship, rather than recognizing that all relationships, and emotional states, will inevitably ebb and flow. - Meg Barker

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We could question the distinctions that are made, for example, between friends and lovers. This might help us to break down the toxic hierarchy between singledom and coupledom, replacing it with the conceptualization that we are all in constellations of relationships with other people.

People often put rules and contracts in place to protect and secure certain relationships and to keep them special and separate. If we are present to our partners, and flexible in recognizing that they will change over time, will we need such rules, contracts and borders around our relationships? Instead, might we accept that both we, and our partners, will get different things from the different relationships?

If we are compassionate, and embrace our partner’s freedom, might we aim to accept and respect the different sides of them that emerge in different relationships instead of trying to keep something special and sacred about them to ourselves?

- Meg Barker, Rewriting the Rules

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Is feminism incompatible with monogamy? Talking feminism and polyamory

Some question whether monogamy is a patriarchal invention that mainly benefits men and functions as a mechanism of control. In response, some people practice non-monogamy as an alternative. But is non-monogamy necessarily 'more' feminist? Is monogamy necessairily contradictory to feminist ideals? Well, it's not as simple as all that.

In this episode, your host, Meghan Murphy speaks with Meg Barker, senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University, a sex and relationship therapist, and the author of Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships about some of the reasons people might enter into non-monogamous relationships as well as some of the challenges they might face. Later on the show we hear from Katie, an undergraduate student in her late twenties, who shares her experiences navigating a non-monogamous relationship as a feminist.

Check it out here on Rabble.