Jul 8, 2013
A Tribute to teenage girls and snakes
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A Tribute to teenage girls and snakes
megatronmarie said: God dammit Bean, did you make another mexican food blog?
NO! I SWEAR I DIDN'T! THIS ONE FOUND ME! I'VE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. I STILL CAN'T BREATH OMFG MEG HALP.
Megan: Can we make the "Life With Derek" porno?
Grace: I'll be Derek.
Megan: I'll play Casey.
Me: I'll play Marti.
Grace: ...
Megan: ...
Grace: *nods*
Make out with Soloman. Make out with Solomon more.
Me writing smut
Me thinking out-loud: Ah. How the fuck do you write this?
Me shouting: "There was a burning in his loins!"
Megan: IT WAS GONORRHEA!
Dirty Paws: Moon Fever
"Just get in the damn car, Duke," Roxanne growled her demand as she stood between an uncertain Duke and his drunken oafish excuse for a father. She was protecting her friend. She was a mother defending her cub. Mr. Justice was a formidable opponent. He was easily as tall and muscular as Duke and had no qualms about hitting a 19 year old girl. Yet there she stood. Commanding all attention with a carefully crafted illusion of authority.
"He is coming with us, Mr. Justice. If you want to stop us, you're gonna have to catch us." A devilish dare of a smile danced across her lips. Taunting, teasing. Mr. Justice lurched forward in an angry, alcoholic fog. Duke and Roxanne took off down the driveway hand in hand. They released adrenaline induced fearful laughter as they bolted toward their saving grace, their light in the darkness. A shit-tastic little red truck. They leaped into the truck bed and signaled frantically for Jeremy, Roxanne's brother, to floor the gas pedal. Reluctantly, the ancient junker carried them out of their oppressor's grasp.
Caught up in their youth and their bliss, the inhabitants of the car declared to the world how entirely free they were in that moment. No restrictions. Just each other, endless possible destinations, and a way to get there. Roxanne, Duke, Jeremy, Oliver, Lydia, and Carmen. They called themselves "The Pack." All savage wild animals just trying to stay together. The car swerved on the empty rural road. The fragile vehicle rattled and burst with how incredibly alive they all were. Pounding on the roof, bodies hanging out the windows, pulsating music, and howling.
Everyone threw their heads up at the moon and howled. It was a dare, a declaration, and love song. They knew they were special. They were a supernova, a mesmerizing spectacle headed for inevitable destruction. Forever falling apart. They were their own sickness and their own salvation. They found their soul mates in each other. But the Universe makes it near impossible to keep such passion together for long. Too much entropy for that. The Universe didn’t know they were savage. They fought tooth and nail for The Pack. They would live and die by it. But in the gaps between conversations, the silence of their hearts, they knew tragedy would catch them eventually. It didn't matter how fast they drove or how fiercely they howled because their demons weren't at the window clawing their way in, they were trapped by ribs and flesh, slowly gnawing their way out.