#meiliva

[bopnty-blog]

magic!anon: spike turns into a dog for 24 hours

can u believe i still have this in my inbox this is filthy

[yunafied-blog1]

@meiliva -- ;

TIFA EXHALED DEEPLY, wisps of smoke blowing out of her nose and concealing her face as she sat alone in the dimly light room. She despised being disturbed but she knew Yuna wouldn’t do if it wasn’t necessary. The Portuguese… Tifa combed her memory for any recollection of dealing with the Portuguese. Recently, a Latin gang that had formed in LA and where edging into her territories. Tifa had told her enforcers to give them a small warning - which possibly entailed dangling some of them overhead a bridge in Union Park. Maybe it was brother or a distinct cousin that was here to ‘discuss the situation’ before things turned more violent than necessary.

With a sigh, she stomped out her cigarette and stood up. looking over Yuna briefly before passing the other and stopped, “Look at me directly when you speaking to me. You are never going to avenge your father if you can’t even manage to look someone in the eye. Remember that.” Tifa said quietly, despite no one else being in the room before she walked away.

   nervousness was not the hallmark of her character , though reverence surely was . the donna was not a woman to so flagrantly interrupt , yet causation and reason were all that drove the young woman with a missive of the utmost importance . to everyone below her , she was resourceful and sharp , expending her abilities to ensure that the lockhart syndicate wouldn’t see some violent and needless end . the man in particular was of a portuguese gang that was just beginning to show their colors in prominence , and as too many men were foolish to do , felt some perverse need to assert themselves . by waging some threat so flippantly , to make demands ; had they been wise , they would’ve brokered an alliance or trade agreement instead . but , yuna wouldn;t dare think of them so highly . not compared to the woman she served . 

  ‘ of course , i’m sorry , tifa-sama , ‘ yuna said firmly , though she did not allow herself to be abashed and quail away like some coward . instead , with dutifulness did she retrieve a manila envelop and present it on tifa’s spacious and luxuriant desk , sliding it towards the older woman . ‘ he’s making demands already . something about wanting to ... impress his power on us . on our family . the man’s name is emeril cabrillo and this is everything i could find on him and his gang . ‘

[hitspark]

*throws sora in da trash* hey friend

     sora, a hero of worlds: oh boy! a test of strength! and i’m here to witness it!! tifa sure is strong ha HA what a weird custom !! must be a country girl thing !! haha she’s great no really !! i love! h!elping my friends !!! i mean trash cans are great!!!!!!! please step on me next time!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jjillekkot]

H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y  D A W N ! ! !

@valkiris @meiliva @cosmicworn

Look girl, I don’t know how to make the fancy edits like the rest of the internet so you get stuck with this instead lmao. It was inspired by... I dunno. Your muses? Mainly Rinoa, but a little bit of Cosmos and Tifa’s AVALANCHE too.

Anyway. It’s not been terribly long since we’ve started talking ( again? ), but it’s always nice to be able to chill with someone who is as down to earth as you are. You’re so relatable & comforting, and I’m just glad that you’re around in RPC. Thanks so much for being yourself & don’t let go of your light. You are so beautiful, both inside and out.

Love you!

Nina

[backwaterheroics]

okay so concept question part 2: is tifa aware of how tied she is to cloud's mental stability? has he every tried to sit down and explain this to her or is he just like 'we live under the same roof and let's keep it that way until we die okay? thanks.'

prev post [x] → ft @meiliva​ on cloud’s grasp on reality & tifa at his foundations

tldr; nope~ he’d rather die slowly than face the possibility of her not being there with him.

cloud’s ability to communicate is practically nonexistent when it comes to personal problems, especially those regarding his own feelings. things have to be dragged out of him, (which presents another problem because he’s horribly, blunderingly ineloquent and/or cryptic,) and if the response to those things isn’t what he wants/needs, then it’ll be exponentially harder to have him open up again. 

with tifa it’s a little more complicated because they’re both pretty reliant on their actions as stand-ins for the conversations they should be having together. tifa becomes vocal when she’s at her limit of things she can stand re: cloud’s behavior and cloud himself talks only when he’s scared of something and exhausted of alternative options for dealing with it. 

very rarely do these times intersect with one another; they don’t communicate much, you know? they’re amicable enough, but i feel like most of their hesitation with each other is because they don’t really know who they are and where they stand as themselves with the other person. it throws a big wrench in their attempts at intimacy as friends and stagnates a lot of their growth as individual people relating to one another. for this reason, i feel like that’s why they rely pretty heavily on the ideas they have of who the other person is.

cloud is sure he’s the hero in tifa’s eyes, the SOLDIER that saved them all, but he’s not sure how she sees the other parts of himself, the one that let their friends die, the empty monstrous parts of himself that aided in sephiroth’s destruction of the planet, the things that weigh the heaviest on him etc. (tifa doesn’t know if she’s cloud’s lover or his friend or just a teammate, all she knows is he leaves her behind a whole awful lot, but he still wants them all. still wants her, so she’s just gotta knock him on the head until he turns around and sees that they’re all still with him, her especially.) so, it’s easy for cloud to play into tifa’s expectations of him: the guy that saves the day no matter what, her friend that is steadfast in his strength and brave enough to take down anything. being anything else takes away the comfort they have in each other because it means confronting each other as strangers and it’s easier to just keep going as they are.

(((i can’t quite speak for tifa in this case because i don’t like to make assumptions like they’re fact while in the rpc. people relate to things differently and portray all sorts of things in all sorts of different ways. i claim cloud as mine so i’m fine enough with fucking him up, you know? lmaoo // but if i had to say anything in regards to this, i’d say that i think tifa inserts herself and her opinions very strongly into the narrative, and i think she believes that cloud should be healthy and over his grief because if he’s anything else, how can she be either when she’s lost just as much as he has? she tries so hard to be a pillar of strength for other people to rely on… i think she holds onto that hero image of cloud so tightly because he’s the last bits of nibelheim she has and to confront who he’s become after all the trauma means losing that connection and rendering the foundation of their relationship obsolete, and it’s very important to her that they’re friends, that their reliance on each other proves their closeness. tifa’s generally clear-headed, but here she loses a bit of her usual good judgement and forethought to run headfirst into a lot of confusing emotional landmines… anyway,,,)))

as far as cloud is concerned with tifa remaining a consistent presence in his life as a foundation of his sense of reality, he doesn’t need to talk to her about it. why would he need to, when tifa practically beat it over his head that she’s there and she’s not leaving? she helped him sort out memories in mideel and stayed with him even when she could have been more useful going with avalanche while he recovered. she fought with him in the final battle against sephiroth even when he offered the entire crew a way out without guilt on their conscience. she stayed in edge when she could have gone somewhere else and left him behind like he kept doing over and over.

there wasn’t a need to talk to her about contracting geostigma because it was incurable and to burden her with that meant making her see he wasn’t infallible, that he really couldn’t protect anyone, least of all himself. she brushed that very valid worry aside very adamantly. why then would he even think about telling her of all the fractures in his head? all the things that tear him up inside and make him doubt his humanity? that he’s only shreds of himself at any given time…? he tried talking to her once and it made him see what she wanted of him. (admittedly, it did help him with his grief, so it’s not like it was all for naught. he loves tifa, he does. if she ever doubted that, he’d be worse off than anything.)  

he does his part in keeping her close to him by always returning. there might be months in between times where he’s home and when he’s not, but he always comes back. he makes efforts to keep in touch, and his very predictable delivery route system was made in mind of tifa being able to know where he is at any given time. i don’t think anyone except sephiroth would be able to tell that tifa is at the center of cloud’s psyche, the lodestone that keeps all the parts of himself from crumbling atop each other or into each other and making a big existential mess. and that’s just because sephiroth is the one that broke him to begin with.

cloud is quiet with his trauma; he’s especially quiet about the personality switches. no one knows about them––vincent might suspect, but he deals with being the host of some demonic entities so it’s not hard to make connections; the jenova cells are extremely skilled in subterfuge and deflection and it’s important to them, and therefore important to cloud, to leave the fractures unknown. it’s a weakness sephiroth can exploit, and sephiroth still has influence over cloud, even if sephiroth is dead. (wights and spooky necromancy!) 

he’s a very broken man, and tifa didn’t handle cloud’s admittance of weakness well the first time, not in the way he wanted, and so he’s not about to tell her about this. no way. he’ll keep the status quo for as long as he can, and with how stubborn they both are, that’ll probably be an incredibly long time. tifa lets him be human. just being around her, seeing her face, hearing her voice, affirms his reality––so he’d do anything for her, even if it means not being entirely honest with himself.

now, as far as what would happen if tifa cut herself out of cloud’s life for good re: the last ask, when cloud started to deteriorate he’d probably end up blurting it out during some type of trying to make it right / “i dont want anything to do with you” / “goddamnit tifa, just listen to me” shouting match. they’d deal with it then, but not a moment before~ 

[endsought-archived]

meiliva replied to your post: would anyone be up for a voice chat on d.iscord or...

can we yell about how great X-2 is?

I’d be insulted if we didn’t xDDD

[backwaterheroics]

lays here

sudden tifas! ☆ @meiliva

he comes to in a haze, bleary eyelids sticking together, arms already wrapped snug around her body. he’d like to ask what and why, but it’s been awhile since they’ve needed those sorts of questions between them. he blinks until he can see the numbers on the dusty analog clock sitting underneath a book and some delivery papers on his desk. three something in the afternoon isn’t a proper time to wake up for the day, but he hadn’t gotten in from corel until half ten that morning. 

his little army cot in his room isn’t really meant for two adults, but it’s built for heavy weights and he can tell it’s not even creaking. he’s watched denzel and marlene jump off it while playing games, anyway. cloud huffs some of her hair from his face, then pokes a finger into her cheek. her eyes are shut, but she’s not asleep, and her nose scrunches the longer he leaves his finger there.

“hey,” he starts, voice rough and breaking around the sleep stuck in his throat. he clears it with a grumble, arm tightening around her waist. the finger on her face turns into him smoothing her hair out and he taps against her ribs a few times just to get her to bury her face against his shirt to keep from squeaking. a smile breaks out from his lazy tiredness. “don’t you have somewhere else to be? didn’t know you’d taken up smothering people as a hobby.”

[legacycarry-blog]

@meiliva replied to your photoset “life imitates art”

as someone who grew up on soap operas imma slut for 90s steve burton

he’s literally Cloud in every aspect i couldn’t Not do it