*excitedly waves hands in the air and acts like a five-year-old at a carnival*
Melone: Aren’t you gonna mention that I’m back?
Author: You just did.
Melone: I- (sighs and face palms in disappointment because he wanted a grand ‘welcome back’)
*cheese man snickers at melon head’s reaction. ham man ‘tch’-ed at the scene*
Risotto: Where’s Buccellati and his men?
Melone: Couldn’t come today, sadly.
Formaggio: Did something happen to that kid?
Author: Narancia?
*Formaggio nods*
Author: Narancia decided to pick up a dog in the street. He and Mista played tag with the pupper. The dog...unfortunately, had rabies. Both of the boys were sent to the hospital, and Bruno has been worried non-stop. I remember hearing Abbacchio chuckling and Fugo face palming, while Bruno was panicking.
*Michael Jackson appears through a mirror in the room. he faces the Author with a questioning look*
Illuso: How did you know Fugo was face palming?
Author: I figured he was extremely mad at their stupidity, but couldn’t shout at them just yet.
Prosciutto: And the Boss?
Author: Giorno’s busy finding Diavolo in his infinite death loop to ask him a question. So, Melone, care to tell them today’s topic?
Melone: (smiles) Gladly. Ahem...why do you all look so beautiful?
Illuso: I always do. (smiles proudly and smug)
*author kicks his face back into the mirror*
Illuso: Ow-
Ghiaccio: What do you mean by that?
Author: I’m asking why you people look amazing. Like...how? I mean, look at this:
*author shows a group picture of them. then the author proceeds to cry from their beauty*
Author: (whispers) Honestly, very single character from this series look way too hot-
Author: Ahem- See...!?
Melone: (smirks) I never knew you looked at us like that-
*author smacks him the the face*
Author: I’ve never even seen a single person here look sleep deprived.
(A/N by Melone [he’s alive] appears: please go and get sum shut eye if you lack sleep, lovely viewers~)
Prosciutto: I don’t see why we need to discuss this. Everyone was just made this way.
Author: Not me. (sadly smiles in the pain of sleep deprivation)
Author: But still, would a normal person be able to look this good-
*shows a picture of bloodied ham man*
Author: -when they’re on the verge of death? (A/N: no pun intended-)
*everyone eyes ham man*
Prosciutto: ...
Prosciutto: Where did you even take that?
*everyone eyes the author. the author sweats profusely*
Author: No one needs to know that...
*rice breaks the silence*
Risotto: Like Prosciutto said earlier, we all just happen to look like that.
*author smacks her/his/their hands on the table aggressively, and starts shouting at them*
Author: I WILL NOT STOP QUESTIONING YOU UNTIL I GET AN ANSWER! TELL ME, WHAT TYPE OF SORCERY IS THIS!?
Ghiaccio: STOP (beep) SHOUTING YOU (beep) (beeep)!
*the author and Ghiaccio start a screaming contest. the author dies, and Formaggio and Illuso are laughing at the scene in front of them. Risotto just sighs. Prosciutto receives a call from Pesci. He passes on the call to Melone*
*Melone’s face lights up at the message he’s given*
*melon taps the author’s shoulder*
Melone: Pesci’s here...with the guest.
Author: Oh...wait, let me prepare-
*author gets the microphone and calls the audience’s attention*
Author: AHEM- I’m typed that for around 3 times already- But, I’d like everyone to please welcome our new and first ever guest, Araki!
Araki: It’s nice to finally meet you all.
Pesci: Sorry I’m late...
Author: It’s okay Pesci.
Author: So, Araki...with this show’s question, tell me, why do your characters look so...dazzling?
Araki: Because, I drew them at way. Over the years of making JOJO, I’ve been improving my art style and story writing skills. As an author/mangaka, I find it important to grow, and, I wanted to continually show my best effort to those who see my work. I want to give them the best I have, the moment I have it.
Melone: Truly inspiring...(sheds a tear)
Formaggio: Now...did you get your answer, Author?
Author: Firstly, thank you Araki, for giving such a wonderful speech here, today at our show. (smiles at Araki) Secondly...no, I still don’t get why you all look beautiful.
*everyone except the author groans in frustration*
Melone: Well, because this show is getting to long, I’m afraid we’ll have to end it here.
Illuso: I guess some idiots can’t understand simple concepts...
*author glares at Illuso*
Melone: Thank you all for watching this and have a great day. Don’t forget to like this and follow our channel! It’d really mean a lot to us~ (smiles with a wink and poses with peace signs)
