"edward has died."
alice breaks the news to her in london during their layover to italy. they were too late. she’d been a ball of nervous energy for the past twenty minutes, feet bouncing, fingers tapping against her arm rests. body’s been actually bouncing. she’s been leaving alice alone though, wants her physic friend to focus on edward.
but now – now she’s frozen. taupe eyes wide, unseeing. she’s under water. it’s a sensation that she’s still familiar with. currents roughly pulling her every direction. she can’t breath, even though her lungs aren’t filled with salt water. it’s a good thing she’s sitting, she couldn’t have been able to tolerate this standing. fingers curl against the arm rest, and she fights against the tightening in her chest, fights just to breath, to argue with alice.
we didn’t go all this way to run out of time. she wants to argue, but she knows her best friend wouldn’t lie. can see that in the way the light reflects off her eyes, in the way she’s holding herself perfectly still. alice is hurting as much as she was.
there’s nothing we can do. alice tells her, voice still a chime, but bella swears it’s the voice of someone who’s heart just shattered. idly, she wonders if rosalie will ever be forgiven by alice for this. wonders if rosalie will always blame her for jumping off the cliff, or alice for her imperfect vision.
her imperfect vision.
hope blooms in her chest, and she’s reaching for alice, frantic. words leave it, tumble out of pale lips. check again. you’re wrong. you’ve been wrong before. i’m betting against you. you. are. wrong. but they both know the truth to her words, the truth to her vision. bella finds herself in alice’s arms in no time at all, and she stops breathing, freezes up against her cold skin.
she was fine. she wasn’t going to break down. she was fine. wasn’t she? she’s keeping it together. they’re at an airport. bella can’t lose it here. maybe alice sees that, because she’s free, and eventually they make it back to the states, they make it back to washington, they get back to folks.
no one knows that her world just died. so completely.
charlie yells at her, grounds her, and she’s silent, nodding. alice a quiet shadow. bella instructs her to go home. the rest of her family should know the truth. and she’s finally alone again in her room. she’s been striving to be alone since alice told her. but god, the nightmares start again, the hole that she thought was scabbed over is bleeding. she’s clutching the pillow, cheeks wet with tears.
whatever made her think she could live in a world where edward didn’t exist? what right did he have to die and to --- and to leave her here. the same right he had when he left you half a year ago. chest aches, and she can’t breath through the force of the thought. edward leaving she could recover from. he was still alive back then, but this? there was no getting out of this.
‘ .....’ has died meme, featuring @telepathiclion