The ship: Erica & Fenris please :D
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave - Fenris, because he has no domestic memories and Erica told him that everyone does it
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex - they don’t have cats. if they ever get one, then it’s mabari’s job to carry it out
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit - both. Fenris just films her being an idiot in a natural habitat, and Hawke sets up pranks and records Fenris walking into them. He always does best meme-worthy scowls
who breaks the most phones - Hawke. usually because she telekenises them to herself out of laziness and not really looking, and just crashes them into things
who dies first - Fenris
which one I could see as being lactose intollerant - none, really? If I really have to, Hawke.
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t - Hawke thinks this about absolutely everything even if she just learned it exists.
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed - Hawke, for crumbs, fire-juggling and worst cases of terribly timed innapropriate puns
who uses the computer most - Fenris