#memoir;

[refragor-blog]

Grief

Send a word for an occasion where my muse has felt:

Grief

You are painting with the boys when the phone rings. You ignore it, trusting that Psii will answer and handle anything that is happening. You know that something is wrong as soon as he steps into the room. The look on his face only fills you with dread. Very quietly he hands you the phone and herds the boys out, claiming it’s time for a snack. They follow happily of course, chattering to themselves. You swallow before answering. “Hello?” 

“Yes, Mr.Vantas?” It’s a woman’s voice, soft and firm. “We need you to come down to the Police Department.” For a brief second your breath is caught. Were they arresting you? No, they would come to your door. “

“W-What? Why?” Is all you can stammer out. The woman is firm, repeating herself once more before hanging up. There’s a rock in your gut when you rise to your feet. Dol is already sitting in the living room with the boys and Psii is standing beside the door, jacket and hat on. He looks at you and then looks away. The rock in the pit of your stomach isn’t getting any smaller. 

By the time you reach the Police Department you’re a nervous wreck, twisting your wedding band over and over. Psii is with you, standing silently by your side. His silence does not feel right, but you cannot question him for it. 

“Mr.Vantas, hello. I am Detective Smith, I believe you filed a missing persons a few months ago?” The person speaking is a straight backed woman, tall. You can’t focus on her, your mind is reeling. You just nod numbly. “We. Believe we may have found them. You will have to follow us to the City Morgue.” When you glance at Psii his lips are drawn tight. You just nod again.

The ride to the morgue is silent, and you are filling with dread until it almost fills you to the brim. It’s cold when you step inside, and you try not to breath too fast. People are talking to you, but you can’t focus on them. You’re just so worried, and you don’t. Know what to expect. 

The room is cold, and there is Cleo. If she weren’t laying on a metal slab, she could be sleeping. Your steps falter when you move to stand beside the table, and you reach out to touch her. She’s cold, hard. You’re not aware you’re crying, or that anyone is speaking to you until Psii steps up to pull you close.

You can’t keep it bottled up and crumble against him. 

Cleo is gone and it’s your fault. You couldn’t keep her safe. 

[refragor-blog]

♡

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse —- 

♡ = complimenting them

“Papi, what are you drawing?” 

You’re startled when Karkat and Kankri appear, both of them claiming on leg as their own and climbing up to perch on your knee. (With your help.) You make no attempt to hide the art piece you’d been working on. This is what will hopefully skyrocket your career. This piece of. Crap. Is what it is. “Ah, niños. It’s.” You pause here, reaching out to touch the stiff board. You don’t know what it is.

“It’s something for your Mami.” Of course they are excited by that, leaning forward to get a better look at bright colors. “It’s great, Papi!” “I want to draw like you!” 

For a brief moment you’re struck, and then you crack a smile. You were never good at taking compliments, but when they come from your sons you know they are heartfelt. And true. “If you practice hard, you’ll both get there. And then all of us can surprise Mami with presents.”

[refragor-blog]

Proud

Send a word for an occasion where my muse has felt: Proud.

Graduation.

Those words made your heart clench. The years had gone by so fast, and Karkat was graduating? Of course. This was the most exciting news you had gotten, and there was no one who would keep you away from it. No one at all, you’d fight if you had to.

It doesn’t come to fighting, but you do not go as yourself. Today you are Mr.Salvaro. Volunteering to help the graduates into their gowns, and passing them their caps. Methodical work, calming for your racing heart. You have not seen Karkat in such a long time, and when you spot him in line you almost drop the cap in your hands. Quick reflexes save you, and you smile at the girl whose cap you almost dropped. 

The line moves and suddenly Karkat is standing in front of you, fidgeting with his robe and trying to pat down his hair. You are a volunteer, you have fixed gowns and caps, fixed kinks in hair. And you do the same for your son without hesitation. He gives you an irritated look, but in the end he does not move away until you hand him his cap. 

You pass the duty on to someone else and move to stand off to the side. You have someone standing in the crowd to take pictures for you. You were never good with cameras..But your attention is taken back to stage when Karkat’s name is said. Your heart swells again, and you fight back tears.

Your son is growing up, and you are so incredibly proud of him.

[refragor-blog]

From first headcanons meme: ⌆ ❖ ❤ ✭

⌆ a nervous tic or habit they do

Biting on his lip. Chewing his tongue. Twisting his wedding band. Chewing on his hair.

❖ describe their hands

Rough, calloused. Scarred.

❤ describe how they show affection.

Usually with a song. Sometimes he will touch their shoulder, more often than not it’s simple things. A smile, maybe a murmured word of endearment. 

✭ what is one of their favorite items?

A locket containing a family photo.

[refragor-blog]

7, 8, 9, 11, 17, 22

7. Hot or lukewarm shower?

Lukewarm. Hot if he’s aching.

8. Favourite piece of clothing?

A scarf gifted to his by his sons one Christmas.

9. Least favourite feature about themself?

Inability to trust.

11. That one thing that will cheer them up no matter what?

Pictures of his children.

17. What position do they sleep in?

On his right side.

22. Greatest fear?

Karkat and Kankri being taken because of him

[refragor-blog]

Other headcanon meme: ☎ ☛ ✗ ☤

☎ : List three or more people they would call out for during an emergency.

Psii, Dol, Di.

☛ : What is their typical response to being given orders?

It all depends on the circumstance and tone of voice. If it’s not bossy, or threatening he will do it without thought. (It also depends on how much he likes them.)

✖ : Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive. 

Talk as if you know his powers. Speak of Institutions and various other schools for young Users. Stare at him, ask invasive questions.

☤ : Is there anything about their health they are continuously on edge about? Something they disregard?

Nothing he is on edge about, but plenty of things he disregards. Such as eating, and sleeping. As a result he suffers from slight malnourishment, insomnia, constant exhaustion, paranoia from constantly being on the run. Multiple wounds that were not healed correctly or could not be treated and bother him on a daily basis.  

[refragor-blog]

annnnd reaction meme: ✘

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse  ✘ = hugging them 

Being away from home for weeks at a time is hard on Sosi, but he believes that what he is doing is just. It’s right, but there are times when he just needs to go home. When the stress of organizing things and hiding got to be too much. There was relief and safety with family. 

Psii kept him up to date on the boys and recently they had begun to ask after him. Question where he was, when was he going to come home. Was he with Mama. And Psii, of course, reassured them. It didn’t help that he could rarely call home, but he had faith in his friend. 

The way home was a familiar path, and Sosi found his heart pounding in his chest. The corner store where he used to take the boys for ice creams, the tiny park. The post office surrounded by apartment buildings. His chest is aching when he makes it to his apartment building, and he takes the steps three at a time. The elevator goes too slow for him, and he launches himself up stairs. All the way up to the fourth floor. He has to slow down when he reaches his door, mumbling to himself. “Calmarse, Sosi. Calmar abajo.”

Once he catches his breath he reaches to open the door, only for it to swing open before he can touch the knob. Psii is standing there, grinning before he shoos Sosi in. He hugs his friend briefly before stepping in further. The boys are chattering to each other, and he can hear the clink of toys bumping together. Is he nervous? Yes. 

But he doesn’t have the chance to be for long. Kankri steps out into the hallway, a question on his lips. Probably curious as to who Psii had opened the door for. Instead he screeches and runs down the hallway, launching himself when he’s in reach. Sosi catches him and pulls him in close, face presses against his hair. He’s so soft, and tiny and. Full of life. “Ah, faltó mucho. Mi querido pequeño.” 

Kankri laughs, little fingers running through Sosi’s hair before he just hugs him in return. Any stress, or fear, anger he may have felt in the past few weeks melts away. “Papi! Come look at what Karkat and I made!” Sosi nods in reply, making his way to the room that contains his other little treasure.

It’s so good to be home.

(Calm down, Sosi. Calm Down./Oh I missed you so much, my little darling.)