Today I feel hurt again. And I feel guilty for feeling hurt for all the stuff people deem as "exaggeration, futile drama etc", once they realize they can't relate....just because they cannot even slightly imagine how hard it when hundred "mini" awful things all add up.
Sometimes, a trauma doesn't consist of one large event, one superficially "really bad" whatever...but if it consists of hundreds or even thousands of mini-traumas, they amount to so much more damage than just one.... Thousand times 10 just equals more than 1 x 100. No one seems to understand, people are too privileged to understand any of the struggles I have to fight on a daily basis.
And whatever I say, everyone just understands the opposite of what IS really the actual issue...
It's just...reality is so macabre, so surreal, so perverse and cruel that no one believes you. But that is the tactic of compliance in constant help-denial of the people responsible to help me, but who aren't able to:
By denying my real problems, by not addressing the problem they know they can't help me with, they make themselves irresponsible because they are chronically unable to help me with my case, they only use the tactics so they can't get sued, so they don't get confronted with the sheer incompetence and unwillingsness to educate.
In the end it is solely a problem of the state, health system.
And it makes me furious, as many people with such forms of cases, seem to have been pushed into suicide all the time.
I wish it was all just made up. I never believed such conspiracy-like sounding shit, because it all sounds nuts. But maybe, maybe that is just the absolute pragmatism to adjust to that psychopathic, chronically toxic system.
Humans torture themselves with that system for far more than it brings anything positive; ...but it's the greedy, it's the chronically incompetent who have so much might about the world, because they manipulate, they blackmail and extort. In the history it was never the most civilized, peaceful and advanced civilizations and cultures that survived, but only the most brutal, the most manipulative, the most aggressive; Those who are the only cause for all the radical decay in the world.
It is not the "survival of the fittest", nor the smartest or whatever, but the survival of the most psychopathic murderous genocide machinery. It's a special toxic category of competitive behavior; "Because I lack all competence I need to push the others into the abyss, then there won't be anyone to compete and beat me." The word "evil" can't do this justice, cuz no evil would ever be able to be that sadistic, that destructive, that torturing to its own species.
This behavior is the result of a chronically anti-educative "education system" which replaces real understanding and real education with an illusionary deception of it; arrogance and incompetence. It is a mental virus, a problem enveloped in the clothes of "the solution", that is put into the minds of man. It's a rapid decay. It's the REAL epidemic; it has more similarity to a zombie apocalypse; The strongest aspect of this mental virus; It convinces the people it "infects" they are the saints, the helpers, the solution, when in reality they are turned against their own nature and themselves; They are turned to an autoimmune disease of the true nature of their own species; the perfect soldiers in the war with itself: The power of this mental virus lies solely in recruiting its own enemies against themselves; It's the virus of deception. And we are in the last percentile of the final stage;
Yet, the beginning is near. Hopefully this will be over soon anytime in the following decades. We need to remind us of our roots, and of the things that really matter. All we need is the mind fog to leave.
No one is this system is happy either, but fear due to making the people unable to understand, makes people prisoners.
In the end, nothing in this world is to be feared, only to be understood. Political systems know that, hence they don't want to educate the people, because educated people who UNDERSTAND can't be manipulated, controlled; The card house they have built,
the politicians, all the ones responsible for perpetuating and maintaining the severe suffering and misery, that people are imprisoned in that system, is only due to them not wanting to leave their card house. They abuse their power to maintain staying in power. And they don't even think at least once about all the people they push literally in death, each day, each hour; Each day they drive people in suicide, because they hush up the fact that they are at fault, that they - literally - are the reason for the death of so many. They are nothing more than murderers, just in absolute coward-ish form. At this point I might even say, they are nothing better than Hitler themselves. And it makes me furious, and sad.
The people who deserve the suffering the least get it the most; And those who deserve the suffering the most get it the least.
I guess the table has turned: The psychopathic murderers are hailed as saints, while the few good souls, getting beaten up and abused on a daily basis, are deemed the psychopaths...
But it's all just the symptoms of the "epidemic mental virus"... It's a far-reaching psychological mass disease.
