Merlin's destiny is to be the one who loves. \\ headcannon
[I apologize for the mistakes in the text, (because English is not my native language), but I hope you like it!!!]
Merlin forever be lover. He fall in love once and forever. He never forgets anybody. They all have a place in his heart.
Merlin loves people and they love him. Merlin love knights of Camelot and they love him.
Lancelot be first and when he gone Merlin feels like he lost part of his heart. Lancelot is courage and sincerity. And when he leaves, he takes some of it with him. Lancelot leaves twice and both times Merlin cries, feeling the loss of his own courage.
Gawaine was second and he be on Merlin side to the end. Gawain was power and truth. Sometimes harsh and rude, but true. Gawain is dying in the forests of Camelot and when Percival tells Merlin about it, he finds him. Another boat in the lake. Merlin feels that he is losing his own strength.
Freya was destiny. Freya felt like liberation and the possibility of a new life. Freya smiled when she left. Freya left beloved and gently releasing Merlin's heart. Freya was his salvation in the eternity that he lived on. Merlin doubts destiny when Freya becomes the lady of the lake. Because Destiny constantly takes away from him those whom he loves.
Gwen and Morgana be a big part of Merlin heart. When Morgana left, he was left with regret and choking grief. As he stabbed her with sword, he whispered "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" into her mind, but she didn't listen anymore. It was too late for these words. When Gwen left, he was as young as the day she was left as the sole ruler of Camelot. She left and took Camelot with her. She takes big part of Merlin heart and he never forget.
Arthur come in Merlin heart without invitation. He just grows up there. And he gone too. Because Merlin let someone else's words guide him. He left because Merlin chose to trust Destiny and not his own heart. Arthur became not a part, but the whole heart of Merlin. And his heart was crushed.
Therefore, when everyone he loved in Camelot dies, he leaves there. He tells Fate to "I believe you fucking choke" and goes where his heart tells him.
Merlin loves. His heart never heals. But he's recovering. He continues to love.
He falls in love with the world, he falls in love with society, he falls in love with uprisings and how people's hearts burn.
Merlin falls in love with the poet Ophelia, who helps him write a collection about Camelot. He falls in love with her courage and honesty. He falls in love with her desire to know all the stories she can catch. She dies early, but he always remembers where her grave is.
Merlin falls in love with the soldier Carlos. Merlin heals him and listens to his stories of faith and hope for a better future and allows himself to believe with him. Carlos dies on the field a year later. Merlin never forgets to believe in the best when he sees the date of death on the calendar.
Merlin falls in love with singers, bar owners, dancers, politicians, weavers. Merlin falls in love with people and remembers them all.
He never allows himself to forget.
And when Freya calls him to the lake, he goes there with faith in the best. He goes there with a million stories to tell.
He goes there and catches Arthur in his arms, feeling that his heart has fallen into place. He looks into the lake and smiles at Freya.
He looks into the lake and hopes that everyone he loved sees him and smiles with him.
