#merlin negativity

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

I thought that I don't hate anyone in Merlin, even Uther is so good in his badness, but then I came across a Sword in the stone gifset, and was reminded that ugh, Tristan and Iseult are insufferable.

[stubbornness-and-spite]

Spoilers for WIZARDS: TALES OF ARCADIA

SPOILERS

This is the FINAL WARNING

I’m about to start spoiling

please scroll away if you don’t want spoilers

last chance

Here I go:

I really hate that Merlin died in Wizards. I really really hate it. Don’t get me wrong: he was a bastard and an asshole and he can suck my dick, but I really hated that he died. Not because I wanted him to live, but because of Douxie. Douxie and Merlin’s relationship was kept pretty vague with a few scenes used to imply how their relationship progressed, but I think it could very easily be argued that Merlin emotionally abused Douxie. Merlin’s abysmal behavior towards Douxie is why I wish he hadn’t died because no kids’ show is going to speak ill of the dead, especially when they got a heroic death and “redeemed” themselves. Since Merlin is dead, Douxie isn’t going to get the opportunity to address that Merlin may have done good things for him, but he wasn’t a good person because Douxie is wrapped up in his grief and in his grief he idealized Merlin’s memory. He has made to good out to be better and the bad to be insignificant, but it wasn’t and that is clear in the way he is shown to think about himself.

In the earliest scene we see of Douxie, he’s arrogant and confident. He openly uses magic to fool the people who are literally responsible for capturing and executing magic users. That’s pretty ballsy. He almost gets killed, but we’re talking about his character and view of himself, not the consequences for his admittedly stupid actions. 

The next time(chronologically, not sequentially) we see Douxie, he’s stumbling and unsure, desperately trying to prove himself to a master who doesn’t seem to have the time or care to give him the time of day. He never protests twice when Merlin asks something of him and even his first protest is usually half-hearted. 

Merlin placed this boy in debt to him and then convinced him that there was nothing he could ever do to repay that debt and work alongside Merlin as an equal. Any and all improvement in their relationship comes from effort on Douxie’s part. Douxie’s self-esteem is in tatters and we have reason to believe it’s Merlin’s fault.

1) He was confident before he met Merlin

2) He thinks of himself as less than Merlin

3) He considers himself a bad student(no, honey, Merlin’s just a shitty teacher)

4) He considers himself expendable

Expendable. Merlin took TWO perfectly good teenage boys and broke them. He convinced them that they weren’t enough and that their lives were expendable in service of Merlin’s Greater Good. 

A teacher-student relationship is not an equal one. The teacher is in a position of authority over the student and that is normal and expected. What is not normal and expected and what Merlin does is to demand unconditional deference and respect while having no respect for the student.

Douxie’s greatest growth was in the time he spent away from Merlin. You could argue that it was because he had more time, but I think it was because he wasn’t harshly criticized for every mistake and was taught by himself and someone who actually cared about him beyond his usefulness(Archie). Merlin might have loved Douxie. I don’t know and frankly I don’t care because that love was conditional and that is a terrible thing to teach a child. Douxie ties his self worth to his use to the people he cares about.

Even when Merlin eventually shows Douxie love and respect it is only after Douxie proves himself to be a master wizard, a skill he learned *without* Merlin. He only shows Douxie love and respect after he proves that Merlin’s investment has paid off.

I still wish Merlin hadn’t died. Because his death meant that Douxie has no outlet for the pain that Merlin put him through and the responsibility that Merlin barely prepared him for. From how I interpret Douxie’s character, I don’t think he can acknowledge that Merlin hurt him without believing he’s desecrating Merlin’s memory. And then he isolated himself from the only people in his life who didn’t either idolize Merlin(Nari) or have the same flaws in the way they viewed him as Douxie(Archie). 

What I want from Rise of the Titans is for someone to admit in a real and substantial way(not a one-liner from Toby or an absolutely justified burst of rage from Barbara that is played off as an overreaction) that Merlin was a self-centered dick who only knew how to love himself.

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

Things I dislike the most in the show:

Vague and unfulfilled prophecies.

Kilgharrah's smug grin in DoftD that says "The mess of S4 and S5 was actually The Albion. Take care and move on."

Endless milking of magic reveal.

Endless searching for Emrys subplot.

Uther living too long. Too much of Uther. Merlin saving Uther again and again

Painting Morgana's humanity and struggle in completely black tones.

Villanization of those who fought against Camelot. The general lack of the resistance side.

How they reversed Mordred's character.

Always good and right Merlin.

Execution of "Morgana brings Arthur to Avalon" ending.

Making a fool of Arthur. Making him less a king than Uther.

Merlin forever a servant

Execution of Gwencelot.

Armor never adressed.

"New religion" never addressed. Christianity? Roman paganism? The King cult + superstitious 'atheism'?

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

...

Every time I see the ugly Arthur's death gif in the Diamond of the day, as Merlin, his face distorted, clumsily drags Arthur across the ground I think: go away, Merlin, don't touch him, it's not for you. You are supposed to wander round the woods drunk and lament your fails, leave Arthur alone at last, leave him to someone who was meant to take care of him: the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess and his Sister, Morgan Le Fay. She would transfer him to Avalon's shores with the help of magic that you don't even have a clue about, she wouldn't drag him like a heavy helpless sack. She would gently lay him down in a boat and guide him through the mists of Avalon, she would farewell his last breath, his last glance, and in this they would forgive each other, forget the fight that had begun with them and ended with them, and obtain, maybe just a shard of, but still, peace; you was never able to gain even that.

[stubbornness-and-spite]

I don’t know what this is. I don’t know where they are. It takes place post wizards because I wanted to address Douxie’s emotional issues and I wanted to cry. I successfully made myself cry, let me know if I get you too. (Note: Archie and Douxie are a little out of character but we really only saw them with other people or in the middle of something pressing(that I can think of). I think that after hundreds of years together, they’d let themselves be more vulnerable when it’s just the two of them.)

Warning: Douxie’s negative self image/self worth(not really sure how to tag for that but it’s potentially upsetting)

~

“Douxie,” Archie said softly from where he was curled up in Douxie’s lap. “I know you’re grieving and I know that you had to put your feelings on hold when it happened to save the world.”

“But?” Douxie replied listlessly, running his hands through Archie’s fur.

“You’re going to have to let him go eventually, you know that, right?”

Douxie took a shaky breath, his hands coming to a trembling stop on Archie’s head.

“I can’t,” he choked out.

“Douxie...”

“No, you don’t understand,” Douxie spat.

“He took me in too,” Archie reminded him gently. “He protected you when I couldn’t. I owe him everything too.”

“No!” Douxie snarled. “No, you don’t understand! I can’t stop greiving him because if I do, I’ll never forgive him!”

“Forgive him?”

“I hate him,” Douxie hissed, his fingers curling roughly into Archie’s fur. Archie swallowed a wince. “I hate him, Arch.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “He taught me a lot: how to persevere, how to do magic, how to hate myself...”

“You know he never wanted that.”

“Can you stop defending him?” Douxie shouted. Archie flinched as Douxie’s grip on him became painful.

Douxie’s eyes flew open and he jerked his hands back like he’d been burned, scrambling back away from Archie.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” he stammered, holding his hands to his chest where they couldn’t hurt anyone.

“Alright, come here,” Archie said, jumping into the sky with a puff of smoke to transform into a dragon. He flew over to Douxie and nudged his head until Douxie made his way over to his bed and sat down. Archie settled back into Douxie’s lap and back into a cat, poking Douxie’s hands until he started petting him again.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Archie asked.

“You always spoke as highly of Merlin as I did,” Douxie mumbled. “I didn’t think you’d want to hear it.”

Archie sighed. “I cared about Merlin because I thought he was doing for you what I couldn’t. I thought he was helping you in ways that I couldn’t. If I’d known he was hurting you? I would have killed him myself.”

“Don’t,” Douxie muttered. “I did care about him. I just hated him too. I wanted him to love me so bad and I could never figure out why I wasn’t good enough for him to love me. I tried everything to be better, to get him to look at me with pride if not love. He never did. Not until the end.”

“You were always enough,” Archie hissed. “You were always enough and he should have loved you from the beginning. I never said anything because I thought he made you happy.” Archie stopped and pulled his head back to look Douxie in the eyes. Douxie looked away.

“Hisirdoux Casperan, you look at me right now,” Archie snarled. “You always deserved love and I am sorry that I didn’t make sure you knew that.”

“It’s fine, Arch,” Douxie said with a soft laugh. “I never blamed you. It’s just all catching up with me, you know? At least before I always knew he was coming back. I knew he would give me another chance to earn it.” Archie flattened his ears against his head and snarled at Douxie. “Arch?” Douxie asked tentatively. “You’re kind of scaring me.”

“I’m going to resurrect him so I can kill him myself,” Archie growled. “I’m never going to forgive myself for letting him poison you for as long as he did.” Archie stood up on his back legs and pushed his front paw into Douxie’s chest. “You have never needed to do anything to earn respect and affection. Never.”

Douxie raised his eyebrows and chucked at Archie’s scowl. He lifted his arms and crushed Archie in a tight hug. “Alright, whatever you say.”

“Damn right, whatever I say,” Archie said, his voice muffled against Douxie’s chest. “I love you. I love you and I always have and you have never needed to do anything or be anything other than yourself for that.”

Douxie froze. “I love you too, Archie,” he stuttered. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” Archie whispered. “I am so sorry that I ever made you doubt that. You’re my family and I love you, Hisirdoux.”

Douxie’s mouth was trembling and his eyes were hot and damp. “Quit it with my full name, Archibald. You’re going to make me cry.”

“Good,” Archie snapped, his voice as choked up as Douxie’s. “You know I picked this form for you, right? I did want to travel the world, but I mostly wanted to be your familiar. I picked you. Not for your magic or your skills or any usefulness, but because you’re Douxie and I wanted to stay with you and keep you safe.”

“Dammit, Arch,” Douxie whispered after a long moment as the tears welling up in his eyes started to stream down his face. He buried his face in Archie’s shoulder and clutches him for dear life. “Shut up, I already said I love you.”

“And I already said I love you,” Archie replied, his voice miraculously steady for the amount he was crying. “But I’m going to keep saying it in as many ways as I can think of to make sure you don’t forget it ever again.” Archie fell silent for a moment. “I want to be better than him.”

“You already are, Archie. You already are.”

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

"Merlin spends ages near Avalon", "Merlin's journey to Avalon", "Merlin saves Arthur on Avalon", and so on, and so on

Silence.

Is the millennium-long culture of Avalon and Morgana a joke for you? I hate how this silly show made everything about their silly loser Merlin.

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

Thanks to some sharp quality gifset, I noticed that in the infamous Merlin-dragging-Arthur-as-a-sack-of-potato scene, Colin Morgan was barely suppressing a grin, though his acting is usually natural and sincere. Perhaps he too, couldn't help but gag at the travesty of what should have been the greatest scene of forgiveness, hope and reconciliation: Merlin should have stayed on the shore, watching the boat of Morgana taking Arthur to Avalon to heal.

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

The reason Mordred wasn't placed in S5 posters and was replaced with Gaius instead, is simple: why, if Merlin is already there?

(S5 Mordred as a poor ripoff of Merlin' character, with his early potential (Mordred literally threatened Merlin, Mordred already practiced dark magic at the age of ten, Mordred loved Morgana) and lines to be gone for literally Merlin's stuff of "Oh, Arthur is going to change someday")