#meth tw

[autisticzenitsu]

[shaky-suggestion]

rainwater isnt safe to drink anywhere anymore

on my 3rd of 5 flights this week, the guilt weighs heavily on me

the guilt holds onto the wing of the plane perched and watching the heat and black smoke ripple propelling the heavy machinery into heaven

the guilt turns to me and smiles a rotten mouthed grin

My first boyfriend, who i promised id watch the end of the world with his hand in mine - is writing poetry about me, almost a decade later.

I think everyone feels it. I know everyone feels it.

i think about the posion rain being drunk down by the soil, like drinking salt water on a lifeboat

i think about the soil giving rise to sick trees, like the children of addicts wanting meth instead of breast milk

i think about the sick trees bearing poision fruit,

i think about poision fruit

and shriveled seeds

and soil turning to sand

[molciber]

I'm laughing at myself for ever doing meth, while craving it in the same damn breath.

[tittyinfinity]

Tw//drugs and abuse (putting this at the beginning because it's pretty bad)

I fucking hate living in the meth capital of the world. Everyone knows several people on it. We lose family and friends to it. My parents. The father of my child. My friend's ex who continuously threatens him with actual death if he doesn't send her money. My ex best friend's husband/father of her children. My other friend's ex wife, who he recently had to take his daughter from because she and her current boyfriend are on it and were extremely abusing and neglecting her. It's not their fault that it's extremely addicting. Every one of those people I listed has ADHD and it's near impossible to get an adderall or ritalin prescription here. The focus they get and their ability to do their jobs and keep up with tasks better makes it more addicting. But god, the withdrawals. The mood swings.

And my least favorite of all....the paranoia they get about people they know, which they then take out on the person. My mom does it, my dad did it (constantly accusing my 61yo mom of cheating when she literally couldn't have nor would), the father of my child did it ("this girl in this porno looks almost exactly like you, so it must be you, and you're a whore"), my friend's ex ("your car is clean so that means you're fucking someone, which is bad even though I fuck several people and cheat regularly"). It's just so sad that someone's addiction can end up hurting so many people....and no one knows what to do about it

I've never touched it but it has traumatized me

I'm not trying to shame addicts. If it was easy to quit, I wouldn't know so many people on it. And obviously not everyone on it is a bad person. But this is my experience. It has traumatized me. I've been BEATEN by 3 different people on it because of untrue delusions about me. I've had to go homeless to not be around it. My son and I had seizures in a house that I wasn't aware that meth was being used in, my son almost dying because he was in the bath tub drowning. He was 3. My son being born with health problems after the father of my child and his mother did meth in the house without me knowing until one day I woke up and his mom was smoking a pipe on the bed literally right next to me. (Probably why he was born 6 weeks early too, if it wasn't my messed up spine that did it.) My ex stalking me and breaking into my house, trying to steal our son while he was asleep while high on meth AND heroin. My mom throwing me into a wall by my hair because I missed small spots while cleaning. My friend who's ex keeps asking for money? She had a man beat him almost to death with a 2x4 plank, and threatens to have him murdered all the time - the last guy she was involved with just went to prison for life for killing 3 people.

That's just some of it... and I have every right to be upset by things that have happened to me that had nothing to do with my own decisions, so don't come at me saying I should be more "understanding", because all I've been is understanding and patient with them until I ended up getting hurt.

Please, PLEASE never touch it....it will not only destroy you, but everyone around you, too.

NEVER, EVER TOUCH METH.

Yes, these stories are very personal, but if you read this, please remember it as a reference of what could happen if you ever pick it up....once you do, YOU CAN NOT STOP until you have intense medical intervention. You can't just do it "occasionally" - every person - and I mean EVERY PERSON - that I know who is/was on it started it out as an "occasional" thing or "only when they need it to get things done". The withdrawals can literally kill you if you quit cold turkey - another reason it's so hard to quit.

Never, ever touch meth, and try your absolute hardest to get away from any environment or situation where it is present. You won't be able to "fix" the person who's on it or make them promise their way out of it. They have to make that decision for theirselves.

Just. Please stay away from it....and if you do use it, please, please get treatment. I believe in you. You don't have to keep living this way. People do love you, and that's why they worry about you.

Never touch meth.

[lookiing4alaska]

I saw [ALASKA WOLF] at a coffee shop in [MANHATTAN] today. I forgot how much [SHE] looks like [MARIA PEDRAZA]. They are a [TWENTY FIVE] year old [BALLET DANCER/INSTRUCTOR] who’s been in NYC for [SEVEN YEARS] now. Every time we run into each other, they are always [CHARMING + GIVINE] but I’ve heard people say they can also be [CLOSED OFF + CYNICAL]. [DARK HORSE BY KATY PERRY] reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio. 

tw: drugs/meth/drug dealing, death of mother + father

wooo did someone say muse #2?! this is alaska aka the only oc i can keep track of and has stayed semi the same for over three years so wooo

backstory

she was born is washington state to a father who was trying his best and a loving mother

alaska’s first four years were normal, a stay at home mom and a dad who went to work everyday, earning an honest living. she truly was the apple of her parent’s eyes

it all turned when her dad got laid off and turned to selling drugs when he could not support his family and the savings dried up. for whatever reason meth was his new choice of dealing. and it was okay for a time. everything was the same until the father took the dive off the deep end and started using himself

alaska and her mother started staying with a friend of her mother’s, staying out of the whole thing and that way they didn’t smell like it

when alaska turned six her mother divorced the father seeing as she did not want to be apart of that life anymore. there wasn’t love between them anymore and he was just weighing them down.

but the mother was killed because of this decision, and alaska remembers it all. its probably the most vivid thing she remembers 

it was the father who killed her, enraged his wife would do such a thing when he was in prison (for a meth charge, go figure)

and because of this alaska was put into foster care

she has not seen her father since before he was put into prison the first time, and still to this day she refuses to see him

the move

she moved to nyc the moment she was 18, she used up all the money she had been saving working three jobs on top of school. it was a shit apartment but it was hers.

she was performing on the street, just dancing to someone who was playing the saxophone when a scout for juilliard saw her and told alaska to give them a call

and all of her dreams came true

money!?

and . . .

suddenly a relative of her father’s was able to track her down. she was to inherit a large (LARGE) sum of money from her father’s trust fund. it turns out he never got it because his parents hadn’t trusted him, and they never knew about alaska until well. . . on his death bed

now

alaska is apart of the nyc ballet company and teaches classes to cute little toddlers and kids 

next stop, connections !

[argenti-spirit-jpg-deactivated]

HAMSTER M//TH LAB WOOOOO

[jckelly]

So, what dirt do you have on Caitriona and Balo? Can’t imagine they’d stick by someone like you without extortion playing a role. 🍵

“Cait’s secretly a hooker and Lo is making crystal meth. Let’s see if they stay by me now I’ve exposed them....”

[thatocdfeel]

I messaged you a month ago about how I found out I got cheated on. The one piece of the puzzle that I keep fixating on is that my ex blamed his 1 year hidden relationship on his meth use I didn’t know about. He said it clouded his judgment. All of the articles I’ve found on infidelity and drugs have different conclusions. What if the drugs really made him do it? How would I know? I’ve never done drugs so the uncertainty of how drugs rlly affect someone’s judgement is too much for me to handle.

I keep trying to debunk the excuse of “it was the drugs” because 1) he couldn’t have been using that hardcore because I would have noticed his behavior change or physical signs like sores (although he did lose weight) 2) he made a point to make sure I never found out about his other girls 3) he had every single dating app 4) he spoke to one of his girls 2 days before he left for boot camp 5) he told his girls that I was a friends with benefits even though we were in a 3 year relationship

Also not to mention he lived with 2 of his girlfriends at the same time while I had no idea. That can’t be the drugs can it? That’s just poor character? Or was it the drugs? Why does it matter so much to me either way??

Listen, drugs make people do crazy things, but in this case he very deliberately went to great lengths to hide his cheating, evidently knowing full well that it was wrong, making sure you did not find out -- these are all red flags.

You are obsessing over it because it’s painful, and you want to find a way out of the pain, but this is a pain you need to let sit. It will go away when it’s ready, but fighting it will make it dig itself deeper. You owe yourself something better.

This man is not worth your time and you can absolutely do better. This pain will pass and you will be happy again. I promise.