MF3O
[is it bad if I call this one MF3O because I'm calling it that]
[Also, aside from this bracketed note, this is just copy/pasted from my computer. I haven’t had internet in like a week, it’s killing me. I won’t have it after tomorrow morning either. Not until the nineteenth of May. UGH. So I’m posting this now, unedited, while I have the chance. I may never edit it. But hey, I could die tomorrow, and I want this blog to have some terrible half-baked OT3 fic and unnecessary angst before I go. This disclaimer applies to anything else I later claim to have queued or scheduled during this time period. PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY??]
//
In which:
Finn and Rey are obviously perfect for each other (as usual)
Poe's crush is visible from space, as usual – but so is everyone else's, so his pining is mostly dismissed as unexceptional, if noticed at all
the other X-Wing pilots are heckling jerks, as usual, but … actually more so than usual, actually
Iolo YOLOs his way into this story (because his name amuses me, that is pretty much the only reason, sorry I'm not very sorry about that) by offering himself up to Finn and Rey
Poe feels (is) very very old and very very tired and has ALL OF THE NIGHTMARES, god, you wouldn't even believe – all as usual
so actually he's kind of ignoring himself pining also, actually
I mean anyone who has had both PTSD and a hopeless crush simultaneously will back me on this – they both suck, but PTSD is kind of a bigger deal okay, maybe you escape it with some hopeless infatuation but like, priorities, man
basically everything is terrible and Poe can't have nice things ever and he and Leia probably get drunk and watch Space Telenovelas together and bitch non-specifically about how crappy their lives are in Span(gl?)ish
(okay lbr here I speak a good amount of French but I oh my dios do not hablo the español like at all, so definitely, definitely Spanglish, and definitely very gringo-y Spanglish at that, unless I find someone who ACTUALLY SPEAKS SPANISH to go over it for me – hey ernest u there, u reading this?)
(or I could cheat and just be like “and then Leia said in Spanish … ” but like, is it even called that IN SPACE?? I'm pretty sure the lines we hear in English are sometimes referred to as “Galactic Standard” or “Basic” or some other SF tropey thing, at least in the EU if not the movies themselves)
Finn is beautiful, as usual, a little oblivious to social norms, as usual – but not a total dumb, because FINN IS REALLY SMART ALRIGHT, he's just – you know, a tragic war orphan brainwashed by First Order propaganda, and also probably by actual brainwashing, probably
what I'm trying to say is that he probably doesn't know what a healthy childhood looks like and he probably has trouble regulating his expressions – life under a helmet eh – but he's gonna pick up on stuff
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE WEARS THEIR HEART ON THEIR SLEEVE AND IS HOPELESSLY UNABLE TO HIDE WHAT THEY'RE THINKING AND FEELING DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE NOT PERCEPTIVE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Rey is possessive, and a bit snarly, especially right after a long return trip without managing to convince the legendary Luke Skywalker to a) train her; b) at least come back with her and Chewbacca to D'Qar; c) at least send a message to his only sister; or d) acknowledge her presence in any way other than that initial staring contest
that one post by Margo Kim about quiet Finn & scream time Rey boning down for the first time, with corollary re Poe miserably miserably awake in the next room at two in the kriffing morning, feeling old and so tired and who are these crazy young people and just whyyyyy
wallowing in self-pity abounds, as does disgusted self-recrimination for said wallowing (Poe at least, maybe Finn too)
and Snap, for once, is the perceptive friend who worries about Poe's Deep Emotional Feelings
(Jess, aka the usual Unofficial Poe's Relationship Drama Therapist/Misery Loves Company Buddy/Number One Fan Heckler in TFA fic as far as I can tell, is much too distracted by her own weird conflicted mentor infatuation Thing with Connix, who is sort of her protégée, and like she's not that much older than her? BUT IT'S STILL WEIRD OKAY? Jess feels weird about it anyway, Jess feels very weird, also a little threatened, because shit this kid is good … at all the things Jess mentored her about … and Jess is like, oh my god I'm gonna lose my status to this fucking upstart, I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS A BABY, SHE PUKED ON ME ONCE, I TAUGHT HER EVERYTHING SHE KNOWS, sob why is this happening, someone please help – but it's fine, they'll be fine, Jess is fine, Connix is fine, there's only like a 6 year age gap there anyway, it's only weird because you're making it weird, Jess, you're 28 years old, get a grip)
//
“Like you wouldn't give your left nut to be the filling in that hero sandwich,” Poe drawls back, raising an eyebrow.
Iolo sort of scrunches his mouth to the left a little wistfully, as if to allow as to how that's true enough. Poe looks back down at his hand, sighs, and taps the table. He can hear Jess giggling beside him. When he glances up to nod at Snap in thanks for the new card, though, he can't read his expression. He looks … serious. Poe drops eye contact.
He folds soon after that, when it looks like Jess and Connix are setting up for a long series of checks and raises – Force save him from pilot pissing contests – and volunteers to get everyone another round of drinks. When he comes back, they're still eyeing each other, and he wonders briefly if this is some kind of strange mode of flirtation. He decides he doesn't really care.
Poe plays a couple more rounds – badly, but he's not exactly known for his skill at sabacc; no, he's got a whole different kind of reputation, which has less to do with the actual game, with cards and credits, and more to do with booze and betting articles of clothing – so as not to seem to suspicious, and then calls it a night. He heads back to his bunk. He's so tired. He doesn't want to sleep. He's so tired. He really doesn't want to sleep.
//
“He decides he doesn't really care” – no, rule of improv: “YES, AND??”
So. Probably.
//
one of my tags for this is “awkward conversations about sodomy” and I really want to honor that inclusion :3
//
Rey ineptly wooing Finn
“I GOT YOU A ROCK”
He loves it.
[link to THAT POST]
//
some idiot was super clever and ended their stormpilot fic with something along the lines of “Oh, don't worry,” Poe said. “This ship practically flies itself” and I want to be that super clever idiot too, so, uh, I might steal borrow that … without permission
and by “might” I mean “probably will”
because, while I have copious amounts of shame, I spend it all on things like “why are you having a panic attack about maybe having a panic attack at some ill-defined future time, what is wrong with you” and “what did you just do to your hair, your poor hair, it didn't deserve this” and “oh my god you are too awkward to be allowed to interact with normal humans” – and have none left for things like, you know, “plagiarism” and “cheating” and “that is a terrible pun, why must you inflict your terrible sense of humor on the rest of us”
so, I'm not actually sorry, but, you know, sorry, I guess, if you're into insincere apologies
also #dadjokes∞ever
(“Father, I'm afraid. Will you help me?” “Sure, Afraid, I'm your dad, of course I'll help you.” – too soon? also probably a misquote, w/e)