having just finished i who have never known men i do think that sophies afterword was a bit too much of an optimistic take on the novel. obviously i understand that the sense of despair that we read during the womens' years of living as a village was more likely due to the child being an unreliable narrator. but it was clear that even in her nearing death, the child was unsatisfied with her life.
im pretty sure that the novel is a tragedy and is meant to be written as a tragedy and it is only understanding why it is tragic that we get why sophie might think that it offers the message that 'no life is without hope'.
throughout the novel the child frequently insists that she is different from the other women and that she is an outcast. even during antheas final moments, she insists this and says that this difference is what will ensure that the country will be hers.
but its only after the death of the rest of the women that she finally admits to herself that she had loved and that she had loved anthea and she did indeed seek companionship - just as the other women did. but she realises this too late.
so in her final moments she writes a journal of her life in the vain attempt that perhaps someone might read the pages and think of her. because at the core of what it means to be human is the intrinsic longing to be known, and to exist. and being known and existing can only be achieved by and through and with others. by virtue of existing, you are ensuring that others exist.
Leon x OC and Leon x Reader (2 versions!)
Read it here on AO3
Summary:
It's official: Leon S. Kennedy is canonically married.
I had a thought that was originally just a funny idea: what if Leon quickly got back together with the girl who dumped him right before RE2, and he's been quietly married this entire time with practically no one knowing about it? But the more I thought about it, the more it became both a sweet and angsty lifelong love story in my head... which resulted in this fic, the first in a series.
This part takes place directly after RE2, when Leon finally receives the medical attention he desperately needed, like, yesterday. WHUMP AND H/C AHEAD!
CWs: hospital settings, graphic description of medical procedures, graphic description of injuries, full body/strip search (for security purposes)
(warning: smut, p in v, unprotected, manipulation?)
After a summer of heated secret hookups between you and Chris, he broke your heart when he rejected your wish to come clean to his brothers and become more than a notch on his belt. you hated how used he made you feel that day so much so, you’ve been committed to avoiding him ever since. coincidentally during your time apart you and matt grew closer, your friendship with matt’s always been real and sweet. you both have always been curious if it could potentially become something more, so you recently agreed to test the waters. nothing too serious, just some extra affection and hand holding for right now.
Chris doesn’t mind giving you the space and time you need to get over your little puppy crush on his brother, he’s well aware of the addiction for his touch you won’t ever fully heal from no matter how hard you try to pretend he doesn’t exist anymore.
so, he knows exactly what he’s doing, burning his eyes into the back of your head the way he does to keep a close eye on you and matt’s every move. though you try your best to hide that you notice, he knows you do.
laying cuddled up next to matt in his bed doesn’t feel foreign at all in fact it feels easy and warm. but it also doesn’t feel right. you know why of course but refuse to admit it to yourself. you can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have him over you. you know it’d be safe, easy, and fun even… but it wouldn’t be Chris. though you’d love to cross the one line that would make Chris back off and forget the time you spent together, the idea of that alone made you nauseous. sure, you love matt. but not enough. he’s not Chris.
one night Chris comes out of his room and sees that matt fell asleep on the couch and makes his way up to matt’s room to see if you’re awake up there. of course, you are- you haven’t been able to sleep much recently, unable to stop thinking about the whole situation you’re in.
“Why you not with your boyfriend downstairs?” he walks in like it’s his room, the word alone making you hold your breath for a moment. “Very funny, get out.” you don’t even look at him. you’re afraid he’ll see through you like he always does. but he doesn’t care, he helps himself to the spot beside you under the covers. “Chris- “you roll your eyes, he knows what he’s doing to you once again. “c'mon. you miss this.” he smirks at you, making himself comfortable. you immediately realize how different if felt than when Matt's in that spot- not just easy and warm, but like you’re home. the faint scent of Chris’ cologne covering the air around you. you wanted so badly to rest into his white tee but instead you stand up. “If you don’t get out I’ll go sleep on the couch with matt then.” you snap. but he does it- he sees right through you.
“Tell me you don’t want me anymore, then I’ll leave you alone.” his brows raised, voice teasing. god you hate him. but God, you love him. you say nothing. but you don’t have to, he knows what you want to say. he quickly repositions himself at the edge of the bed in front of you to pull you in by your waist. “Tell me you want me to let go of you, I’ll let go.” his eyes devilishly peaking up at you. and you still don’t move. like you can’t. he’s face to your chest, smugly satisfied to see you stiff and quiet as he paints your waist with his fingers.
you swallow hard before instinctively falling onto his lap like your knees gave out, thighs on each side of his, and just stare at him for what feels like ages, unable to stop your expression going soft, giving up in front of him. with one quick gasp he locks his lips to yours. his familiar taste you’ve been craving for weeks sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach and stars behind your eyelids until you snap out of it for a moment. “Tell me you want me, and I won’t walk away for the last time.” you warn him. your chest beating fast in your chest silently praying he says it, not trusting you’ll follow through if he doesn’t.
“of course, I want you.” he whispers in a now serious gentle tone and that’s all it takes for you to fall apart. leaning into him until his back reaches the mattress, basically knocking him over with the pressure of your lips against his. you’re so quickly drunk on him. his scent, his taste, his touch. and he knew exactly how easy it’d be. not another useful thought enters your brain as you rush to pull his shirt over his head and get to unbuckling his belt as his hands work their way to slide your clothes quickly off of you too, with a few tugs around your ass and thighs in between. he sweeps you from over to under him in one quick motion once you’re fully unclothed.
“I don’t just want you; I need you.” he mumbles into your neck, the warmth of his breath hitting it, and hearing those words finally made you realize he's just as addicted to you as you are to him. “Then take me.” you struggle but manage to slip the words out past catching your breath just barely. your whole body does one big shift forward as he fills you, not bothering to waste any time. “c-Chris. f- fuck.” you nearly cry out as he doesn’t let you adjust to his length, thrusting into you like all you have is right now, he’s been too starved for it. dizzy on the feeling of him having his way with you, the adrenaline making your chest raise and fall rapidly, your head spinning hearing his shaky moans against your neck. it doesn’t take long for your orgasms to come crashing over both of you in sync. legs trembling, hips jerking, noises escaping your mouths loud enough to let the house know what you’re doing in matt’s bed. for the first time ever, he shamelessly cums inside of you. the warm full feeling making your walls flutter around him as your back arches into his chest, taking him all in. “f-fuck.” he nearly yells dropping beside you.
“You can leave now.” you smirk at him before he's even done catching his breath. two can play his game.
On the Edge of Space (24792 words) by StarlightCaptivator
Chapters: 13/16
Fandom: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jetfire | Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers)
Characters: Starscream (Transformers), Wheeljack (Transformers), Jetfire | Skyfire (Transformers), Ultra Magnus (Transformers)
Additional Tags: No Cybertronian Civil War, Alternate Universe, Cityspeaker Starscream (Transformers), Titan Skyfire, Background Relationships, POV alternating by chapter, Rating due to Starscream's mouth and upbringing, Secret Identity, Canon-Typical Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ultra Magnus leans more G1 than IDW
Summary:
He'd gotten away from the gilded cage that was Vos and made it to lower Altihex to start a new, scientifically minded life in the titan spaceport city of CAE-Ignatius. Never in Starscream's life would he imagine that the titan would take an interest in him as well.
have we discussed doesn't know how to handle emotions but can't help but being altruistic when it comes to you logan???
word count: 1,047
info desk: gn!reader, emerging friendship, insinuates possible bed sharing, logan is an awkward cutie that just wants to help
it's late at night at gifted youngsters, halls are eerily quiet and logan can't sleep again. he's entertaining himself with the prestigious knickknacks and photos arranged around the mansion. as he meanders to his dorm, he initially walks past your door but hears a strange noise from inside. he stops and comically backs up to get closer to the sound, pressing an ear gently on the door.
you're sobbing. logan can't tell if you're that upset or if it sounds loud because of how quiet everything else is. part of him wants to just give you space and check on you at breakfast but he can't. he can't ignore the only person who has consistently showed him kindness and grace since they've been here. he lifts his fist to knock with his pointer finger knuckle but hesitates and withdraws before lifting it again.
knock...knock...knock
the sound of your sobs halt and he feels awkward now. there's a shuffling inside and he can see from under the door that you've clicked a lamp on. he can also see your shadow as you approach the door slowly.
"it's me...y'okay?" he asks, kind of wishing he wasn't the one that had to walk past your door at this moment. but alas.
you open the door slightly. it's dim but through the crack you've allowed, he can see that your eyes are wet and you're sniffling.
"hi logan, thanks for checking in...'m alright. goodnight," you say rushed and hushed. before you can close the door, his boot is wedged in it.
"you're not though. let me in for a minute," he says, almost in a beg that nearly shocks him internally.
you open up, letting him step into your melancholic cave. he plops down on the edge of the bed next to your tear stained pillow. logan can feel the awkward tension between someone who was just caught crying and someone who'd rather not be the one to ask why.
he pats the mattress beside him and you take the seat.
"gonna tell me why you're boo-hooing at two in the morning?" he asked cautiously, eyeing your profile in hopes to read the severity of your trouble.
"just feeling homesick is all...not used to being here yet i guess. haven't been sleeping well either and with trainings and the professor...i just...i don't know," you explained, throwing your hands up exasperatedly in the air and dropping them in your lap. "i guess i'm just ov–"
"overwhelmed," logan finished. "yeah, i felt similar my very first day here, heh." he could see that his words weren't really helping or hurting but he felt...happy that you even let him in. "but hey, it gets easier. trust me."
you started to sob again which instilled panic within your usually feral friend. his eyes widened and his hands reached out to physically comfort you but he voted against that and quickly scrambled for the tissue box on your nightstand.
"did i say something wrong?" logan asked as he followed your puffy eyes with his.
"no...no you just...," you started, looking upon his concerned gaze. "you remind me of home." a smile cracked through your frown and matched the one that now sat on his lips.
"well...i've never heard that one before," he said, patting your thigh and using it to push himself to his feet. a heat rose to his face and he quickly moved to the dim doorway to hide his blush. "you'll, uh, *clears throat* get a hang of things around here soon. promise."
"logan."
"yeah?"
"will you stay with me?" you ask, sheepishly. "not in my bed, of course...i mean...unlessyouwantto...but i don't have a roommate yet and it gets kind of...spooky in here." you chuckled, remembering how you got scared the other night from the shadowed silhouette of the coat rack in the corner.
"uhh...," logan struggled for words.
"it's totally okay if not, i know it's probably a weird ask," you sniffled.
"no it's not that...it's just...i have this lavender spray that storm let me have and it's become ritualistic that i use it on my pillow before i sleep...i've also been having trouble. i have to go get it and then yeah, i'll stay in here with you."
"okay," you nodded, already feeling a sense of ease and safety wash over you. "i'd like some of that, too." you laugh, feeling the wet tears become dry stains on your cheeks.
"oh, i know, bub," he laughs, slipping through the door to quickly retrieve the sleep aide.
a/n: hii! i was having a not so good day yesterday and a shitty morning today and my brain conjured up this delusion to help me get through it because of course it did and i figured i'd share it with y'all! thanks for reading!! xx
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Deltarune (Video Game)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: King of Spades/Tenna (Deltarune)
Characters: King of Spades (Deltarune), Tenna (Deltarune)
Additional Tags: Unhealthy Relationships, Choking, Rough Oral, Dom/sub, wireplay, Hitting, All of it is rough tbh, the gratuitous licking of a tv screen, No Aftercare, pwp with angst
Summary:
Tenna finds a new way to pass the time while he waits for his favourite Lightners to find him a new home already!
King finds a new way to pass the time while Tenna's favourite Lightners alienate his son and hasten the ruin of their Dark World.
Here it is! Nine thousand words of Tenna getting his screen licked out. Now the demons can finally let me rest.
I see you kingtenna nation, i love you kingtenna nation.
