#mfadt

[hotelbones]

Chocolate-Dipped Brain Bites

This post was written as an assignment for Parsons Design & Technology Thesis 1 taught by Liza Stark and Ethan Silverman. It contains a self-bio, questions I generated over the summer, and prototypes I made before the beginning of the semester. 

Being

Last night I reserved tickets for a queer games meeting happening in Brooklyn on Sunday, August 25. As I finished writing my name and information I was prompted with two boxes asking the following: “Are you interested in showing a game?”, “Are you interested in giving a talk?”

I spent two days with this page open, unsure how to answer before leaving them empty and hitting ‘submit’.

You may be wondering how this is relevant to my thesis assignment at all, but its this moment that defines a lot of where I am at right now. I came to DT to make games on top of the theory I studied in undergrad, but instead, I only dug further into thinking about games alongside making them. Except I am not making normal games anymore, that is what makes things so difficult. 

Over the course of the last year, I explored games in a variety of fashions. I made games involving venting your feelings to your friends, games for me to explain my own trans trauma, games that questioned the act of play, and games that ask what a game really is. So, yeah I am at a pretty different place from when I came here hoping to make some cool video games. But the thing about the games I have been making lately is I am not sure where they fit in, and where the future of my work should fit in. I won’t figure that out in this blog post, but at the moment my games just feel a bit lost contextually. 

Outside of my work, I like organizing community events. This comes into form in the DT community most of the time but I am trying to figure out how to expand that range as I won’t be in DT much longer. I also really enjoy thinking critically about the worlds objects, and watching the reality TV show Terrace House. 

Part 1: Questions

How have the hegemonic ideals of game definitions limited affect, bodies, and expression?  

The games encyclopedia has completely stagnated under the powers of capital and computers. Now we think that games must exist as an aesthetic of “fun” or “rewarding” within a magic circle separated from the world that results in no consequences. By continuing to think of games with these beliefs, the military-entertainment complex maintains some form of control over who gets the ability to feel and why.  

Is conceptual art an avenue to continue experimenting in making games or should I depart from that area?

The past year I dove heavily into thinking about art, specifically conceptual and relational art. I saw a lot of parallels between the ways that games are constructed and those artifacts, and I wondered why games couldn’t be created in a similar manner. However, I’m starting to wonder if conceptual art isn’t the place where this conversation necessarily fits.  

Is queerness a lens I want to continue thinking about in my work?

I came to DT hoping to explore queer design and games but I hit a lot of roadblocks over the course of the last year creating queer works. My games 54 More and Immanent Blocks, both taught me that creating identity-dependent work is an entirely different form of emotional labor added on top of communicating a project itself. My MS1 project Game Changers also taught me that creating work as a minority in a community that isn’t focused on said subject means that it's hard to find valuable criticism to move you forward, and administrative figures typically won’t understand. Finally, if I make queer work is it isolating a larger conversation I want to have about the systemic constrictions games cultures have maintained? Guess I will find out.  

Part 2: Design Process & Prototypes

Prototype 1: Toilet Game (Huck Fuizinga)

For my first prototype, I decided I would try to create a game that does the opposite of everything Huizinga said in his book Homo Ludens. Why Huizinga? Because there are a lot of concepts I find in modern game forms that are constraining and prohibitive and I think that this book contains a lot of those ideas as it is a seminal text in the game studies field. That being said, Homo Ludens is a book about play. But, many of the things said about play in this book can be considered when thinking about games as well. So I pulled some quotes from the book and distilled them down to some values related to games then I created my design values from the opposite of these values. These are the values I came up with. 

So, due to the limited amount of time I had for this prototype, it was impossible for me to create a game that satisfied every one of these design values. So I decided to use these design values as guides, instead of requirements. I ran into the problem of considering what an action truly “integral” to life could be, but instead of overthinking it I decided to go with an easy one. Pooping. 

So I went to the bathroom for about an hour to two hours and sat on the toilet. During this time I thought about what could be an interesting experience to give players that fits within some of the other design guidelines. I wanted to make sure that the game was not something to be a tradition and something that may communicate moral values to the player. But how can you communicate morals through the act of doing your business? It is a very lonely act. I decided a way for the player to do this would be to leave an object behind for the next player to consider. I ended up with the following rule set. (You can find more of the document here https://1drv.ms/w/s!AiehfsctWGCih8MneP0PaMnK5PH4ew)

I decided the best place for this game to be played would be inside of a public restroom. So I got shipping labels and went out for a night on the town. 

A  downside to this being a bathroom based game is that it is a lot harder to gather feedback on how the users feel about the game. And honestly I didn’t from this one. It didn’t feel like it would be appropriate. But there are improvements I would make if I iterated on it such as the actions the players take, and the headspace the game asks them to be in. 

Prototype 2: The Nonbeing

For my second prototype I didn’t want to read through a bunch of theory again so I decided to make something more emotional. I took inspration from Avery Alder’s Variations on Your Body and Yoko Ono’s Grapefruit to create a game about feeling disconnected from your body. Essentially being de-embodied. One may say that these two prototypes are vastly different from each other. One is in a public restroom, another is a more poetic experience. But that’s fine. It really all is to help answer my questions. 

This game isn’t something that really works through pictures....because the game is just text. That is the thing about my games at the moment. They don’t necessarily need immediate forms because the forms are the people playing them. Yeah people could buy those toilet stickers or reprint them. There is definitely a form of this second prototype that could be fancied up and packaged. But the design is the embodiment of this specific headspace. 

Also note this game isn’t finished, I spent 3 hours and decided I had already gone over the allotted time so I stopped myself. A finished version of this game would need a back half that finishes. 

You can find the game “The Nonbeing” at this link. https://1drv.ms/w/s!AiehfsctWGCih8Mo-EPa51zOGxL4eQ

[watchoutanny-blog]

CCLab Week5

Using a potentiometer to control the servo indicating global warming. Two stepper motors separating two pieces of paper representing the condition of ice drifting in Arctic which results in the extinction of polar bears.

Code:

#include <Stepper.h> #include <Servo.h> const int stepsPerRevolution = 200;

Stepper stepper1(stepsPerRevolution, 8, 10, 9, 11); Stepper stepper2(stepsPerRevolution, 2, 5, 4, 7); Servo servo;

int steps = 3600; int servoPin = 12;

int val; int servoVal; int broken = 0; int back = 0;

void setup(){

 stepper1.setSpeed(60);  stepper2.setSpeed(60);

 servo.attach(servoPin);  Serial.begin(9600); }

void loop(){  val = analogRead(0);

 servoVal = map(val, 0, 1023, 140, 0);  servo.write(servoVal);  delay(15);

 if(servoVal == 6){    stepper1.step(steps);    stepper2.step(steps);  }

 Serial.println(servoVal); }

[watchoutanny-blog]

Ideas in Form 4D

Memories would not be so reliable as it once was when time passed by. What if people keep thinking a certain memory, how real would it be at the end?

[watchoutanny-blog]

Ideas in Form 3D

Certain areas of brains are triggered by yearning for return to a past period.

[watchoutanny-blog]

Ideas in Form 2D

When people are eager to go back to and retrieving a certain memory, the memory couldn’t be separated into space and time.

[watchoutanny-blog]

CCLab Week2

Using a gas sensor(MQ5) to control an LED imitating the blowing of the candles on birthday cake. Pressing the button to reset.

Code:

int gasVal; int gasOriVal; int gasMapVal;

int ledPin = 6; int ledVal;

int buttonPin = 4; int old_buttonVal = 0; int buttonVal;

int fire;

int state = 0;

void setup() {  pinMode(ledPin, OUTPUT);  pinMode(buttonPin, INPUT);  Serial.begin(9600); }

void loop() {  gasOriVal = analogRead(A0);  if(state == 0){    gasVal = gasOriVal + 20;    state = 1;    fire = 0;  }

 if(gasOriVal > gasVal){    fire = 1;  }

 gasMapVal = map(gasVal, 0, 1024, 255, 0);  if(fire == 1){    digitalWrite(ledPin, LOW);  }else{    analogWrite(ledPin, gasMapVal);  }

 buttonVal = digitalRead(buttonPin);  if(buttonVal == HIGH && old_buttonVal == LOW){    state = 1 - state;    delay(100);  }

 old_buttonVal = buttonVal;

 Serial.println(gasOriVal);  Serial.println(state);  delay(10);

}

[watchoutanny-blog]

Ideas in Form 1D

In 1D, based on the domain research, we need to select 40-50 single words and list them out. Then, from these 40 or 50, choose my favorite 5. For each of these five, write a short paragraph describing what that word means to me and why. Finally, write a story of maximum one page in length that utilizes the five words in some creative way. This story should be a fiction and relate in some way to domains that interest me.

Music:

Music could be one of the most precious present from my mother besides my birth and raising me up. I learned playing the piano from 6 to 16 for ten years. I can also play the flute, drums which I learned in rock club in high school, and the Tin Whistle which I learned in Ireland when I had my exchange student life there. It seems there’s an instrument, a specific sound could connect with every different period I experienced. My mom loves singing. That’s why she wanted me to learn some instruments. She influenced me much. We sang songs together when we were driving on the road. Playing music was the first time when I was aware of my creating things. I also felt satisfied with the moments when people were listening to my music with smiles on their face. Because of the familiarity with music, the sound around me affects me as well. I care about my auditory experience wherever I am.

Psychology:

I was not meant to study psychology in college at first. I always assumed I would learn computer science or engineer in undergraduate degree. With the fail on my exam and the passion to live in capital city which is Taipei, I started my journey in psychology. It totally changed my life eventually. Even I am not studying or doing on it now. Psychology led me to notice the existence of myself and to understand who I was. In different courses, such as perceptual psychology, abnormal psychology and social psychology, etc, I got to know myself deeper from different aspect. Possessing these knowings, I was aware of my motivations and by which I made every decision properly for myself. I could control myself and was not angry at everything I saw without reasons. That changed my life a lot and the relationship between others and my as well. Psychology is much more than just knowledge to me.

Nostalgia:

I chose this word as one of my favorite 5 was because I sometimes felt strange to this word. I am a person who keeps leaving home. I never studied in the same towns or cities from elementary to graduate school. I would attribute it to my family background. It seems it’s my curiosity or enthusiasm on pursuing novelty making me keep going away from those places. However, I know I still care and seek for the sense of safety. I lived in my hometown only until 16. While people first asked me if I had feeling of nostalgia, I felt weird. It’s not because I didn’t have. It’s because I’d even never thought about that. I would say I messed my mom. I would say Taipei was not my home. But I wouldn’t say I missed my hometown. Maybe after living in New York for half a year, I would say I missed Taiwan. I am not sure. So, I am trying to figure out what nostalgia is to most people, and what it could be for me in the end.

Spatiotemporal:

I am watching Flash recently to release some pressure coming from the abundance of assignments. It reminded me of my interests in parallel universes, time traveling, and wormhole, etc. From this sci-fi view on “spatiotemporal”, sometimes I imagine and hope one of another me exists and has a quite different life. But here, I would relate it to music more. During different periods, I stuck to different songs, playlists, and albums. Every time I accidentally heard one of the songs, it reminded me of that specific period, and also, the spatiotemporal details. I started to remember what I did, what I saw, what I smelled, and what I felt then. Under the technology limit nowadays, it never happened again. All the things about that space in that time as the only one existence. And that means a lot to me. I felt upset about those memories even which full of happiness. I felt depressed because I could never experience those memories again. So, that only capability of thinking about those spatiotemporal details is the reason for which I selected this word.

Autobiographical:

I loved to read biographies of famous people when I was a child. I always hope one day I could have my own biography. However, if I want to read it before I die and convey what I was actually thinking then, I need to write down my autobiography. I am not good at writing though, no matter in which language. Finally, I found I could convey my ideas through other ways like art installations, photography and music. That really excited me. Everything I mad could contain my feelings and thoughts. They are all about myself. I also don’t want the existence of any possibilities of misunderstanding. I enjoyed the moments when I was creating autobiographical installations describing myself with my own language.

Fiction

There is an old cabinet in the corner in this house. Grandma said it’s left by grandpa. I never wanted to open it just like it is hard to open my mind again to this house. This is a house filled with sorrow and anger to me. That’s why I chose psychology as my major even that dad always dreamed we could have debates on physics someday. I am not a person who always thinks negatively. I just don’t know what to be happy with. Without doubts, I tried to use psychology knowledge to “save” myself but as you know, it didn’t work. Maybe just because I don’t want to be cured.

Oh, so yes, there is some treasure in the cabinet: a book which looks like a biography of someone and several pieces of music sheet. I had no idea why they were here. I called Nick. I told him what I found. He wanted to see them. 

Nick and I met in a piano studio in my university. I liked people from school of music. They looked really cool. Nick asked for the sheet at first. It took him a while to read it. Then, he took out some sheet from his worn bag and exchanged it with part of mine. He requested me to play the one he just gave me. “No mistake,” he said. I read the sheet for five minutes. I have not played the piano since I left that house. I was nervous because his attitude was so solid.

I played the piano. And the room was spinning with me as the center.

“No mistake, just like you said.” I said. Without saying any words, Nick just went outside. We did not talk until we met my classmate, Suzanne. She was supposed to be in the hospital because of the car accident yesterday. She looked me surprisingly too.

“She’s not supposed to be here,” I said.“Just like you,” Nick said.“I don’t understand.”“The music was for spatiotemporal transferring. The sheet I gave you was for parallel moving; the other one you didn’t exchange with me was for horizontal moving in your universe,” he explained.

I didn’t talk to “her” here, but I followed her back home. I wanted to know if she had a lovely family here. There was a kit with child doodle just hung on the wall in that house which I felt sick at.

I played “Nostalgia,” the same song back. And the room was spinning again as it was while I came.

I opened the book found in the cabinet. It was grandpa’s autobiography for me, only for me, just like that kite.

[watchoutanny-blog]

CCLab Week1

Using a button and a potentiometer to control an LED on Arduino.

Code:

//potentiometer int sensorPin = 0; int sensorVal; int sensorValMap;

//button int buttonPin = 2; int buttonVal;

//LED int ledPin = 11; int ledState = 0;

void setup() {  pinMode(ledPin, OUTPUT);  pinMode(buttonPin, INPUT);

 Serial.begin(9600); }

void loop() {  sensorVal = analogRead(sensorPin);  //map the range of the potentiometer to the range of the LED  sensorValMap = map(sensorVal, 0, 1024, 0, 255);

 //turn on/off the LED by button  buttonVal = digitalRead(buttonPin);  if(buttonVal == HIGH){    if(ledState == 0){      ledState = 1;      delay(100);    }else if(ledState == 1){      ledState = 0;      delay(100);    }  }

 //if the LED is turned on, change the value of LED by the value of the potentiometer  if(ledState == 0){    digitalWrite(ledPin, LOW);  }else if(ledState == 1){    analogWrite(ledPin, sensorValMap);    //delay(50);  }

 //check if the LED is turned on or off  Serial.println(ledState);  delay(100);

}