May 26, 2021
Since apparently I have a disorder that my midwestern brain insists isn’t actually a disorder (because it’s psychological rather than physiological and therefore is my fault and I can simply will it into not existing), I’ve been trying to read up on it and on CBT which is the most common treatment, and
just
Big study in the Journal of Neurophysiology about the effectiveness of CBT...and the single determining factor for whether CBT would work was whether the patient already believed that their condition had a psychological genesis and could be helped by CBT.
Meaning it can’t work until I believe it can work.
I am so fucked.
#mfnd#which was called a conversion disorder until about 5 minutes ago#and hysteria until about 10 minutes before that#and considering i still believe i should be able to will myself out of depression and anxiety because nothing truly bad happened to me#this is basically the worst option it could be#in part because mine doesn't actually flare based on stress or emotion 95% of the time which makes it even more frustrating#but yeah#looks like yet another thing i get to just not tell my parents for decades#like my transness#or the fact that i've been married for 12 years#because they only two years ago - in 20-freaking-19 - started to believe antidepressants were a valid thing#why couldn't this be a real disorder - you know the kind with an actual treatment?#actually disabled#but also#ableism cw#internal ableism
