My arrival to the fandom COINCIDED with the reboot coming out (well, I started watching the show 7 months before it came out), I was going to watch the show since 2009, downloaded it in 2013 and watched it in 2015. I was very lucky because I fell in love with it and there was already a fandom to be in, it always was there, before the reboot and after it. Now, 1,5 years after the movie, the fandom is settled again, people mostly come into it after watching some other old shows and they are the risk-free group, because when they watch it, they know what to expect and like it for reasons there are.
After the reboot a lot of great people joined us, but there were also many who came in with their ‘everything is problematic’ attitude or those who expected not to like Napoleon and never did, or those who weren’t happy with everyone being so much smaller and less macho. Most of these people didn’t stay, others changed, but there was some damage done nevertheless.
I’m happy with the way the fandom is now, it’s small, but dedicated and very loving. And it has the potential to always stay that way as it had for decades.
I just don’t think I can adequately live through another period of random people shitting on my favourite show or its characters, but I also don’t want to leave the fandom and I won’t. So, if the sequel comes out, it’s gonna be a hard time for me personally.
Also, read here why I hate the reboot. And another reason. And a bit about its Napoleon (I don’t wanna go there in an any more detailed way, because I can’t even bear to see Cavill’s face after the movie).
So, while I’m happy that some of you are happy, and maybe the sequel would be better than the first one (even tho there’s hardly a way to fix everything), my attitude is still, ‘FUCK NO!’
There is one thing that makes me sad about my life, it's that I'm still bitter about the MFU reboot. I do acknowledge that the movie is not too awful and I understand it can be liked, but... there are too many things that are wrong with it. So, after nearly 10 months of it eating my brain out, here are the reasons why I hate this movie.
Don’t read if you think you’ll be upset by this in any way.
I love the show to bits, I know it has its flaws, but I love it for so many reasons that I'm sure I'll never find a show that I'll love as much. And the movie mainly pisses me off because it's supposed to be based on the show. Because
It's about the Cold War. I'm not interested in it personally. I love that the show simply ignores it. The show knows that people are more important than countries. I love this idea and I roll with it and I'll forever roll with it because to hell with wars, give me some peace.
A couple of people who know that I love the show, asked me after they watched the movie: "So, what's the U.N.C.L.E.'s point?" And I know very well what's its point in the show, but what's it in the movie? It's like movie!Waverly decided to kidnap spies from different organisations to work for what? For world's peace? What does it even stand for? I know they showed it in the end titles, but does it mean anything? This organisation consists of four people, who do they work for? What's its purpose? In the show the organisation was the first thing they deevelopped as a concept, because otherwise what's the point in naming your show 'The Man from U.N.C.L.E.'? You only know what U.N.C.L.E. is if you've seen the show, but in the movie it's also a completely different thing. It's not even an organisation, it's a 'codename'. Damn, it's all too confusing. The movie's title is meaningless. We don't know who 'The Man' is and we don't really know what 'U.N.C.L.E.' is. The only 'uncle' thing in the movie is uncle Rudi and if you wonder who's the man from him is, then I sure do too.
Main characters. The reason why I can only handle this movie when I'm drunk. I love the show because I love their relationship. In the movie it's just ugly. I cried when I watched the scene at the cafe. Please, don't tell me that this Napoleon is anything similar to the one from the show. Please, don't hurt me, I want to cry and a bottle of Martini. I won't even talk anymore about this abominable human who happens to share his name with my favourite character. Just face it, the only reason to like him is Henry Cavill, but I'm not his fan, so, idc. I won't talk about Illya as well, he's just as different as it gets, but at least he's pretty decent. I just can't understand why wouldn't you name your movie and your characters differently if they have nothing in common with the source material. Nobody would suspect anything if these were Sol Wellington and Pavel Kutikin and you could give your movie a name that would actually make sense, but no. Why would you make a reboot of a show that nobody remembers anyway? And spoil everything so thoroughly. It's not a parody of the show, it's not a remake, it's not playful with it, it doesn't reinvent anything, it just has nothing to do with the show. Kingsman has more to do with the show and they didn't even have an actual round table.
Spying makes no sense. Spies are good when they stay unnoticed and avoid conflicts. Enough said. Idc if these giant infantile tanks still manage to reach their goals, miracles happen, but they are not good spies.
Gaby. Boy, do I have problems with her! 'Strong female character' my ass! Do you know who strong female characters are? These who are in charge of their lives. Any innocent from the show, even those who are not too clever or physically strong, are more in charge of their lives than Gaby. She has no voice. Things just happen to her. She's constantly on a verge of breakdown, because she hates it all so much. She just wants to be left alone and guess what? She's not! She has to work with men she doesn't like, with men she's afraid of and when she thinks it's all over, surprise! She's now somehow obliged to work with them all even longer. In the beginning I thought that she was sad because of her father, but then it occured to me that she just spends her life being miserable and there's nothing that will ever help her. Yes, she finds 'romance' with Illya, but is it a healthy thing in any way? They sure have a lot in common being all troubled, but I honestly would wish them both to find someone better for them. You might say it's the Beauty and the Beast type of a thing, but in their case Belle was kind and she didn't hit the Beast at any point, it was a lot more healthy romance with them. Gaby has a very good endurance, but is it actually a good thing? People can do anything to her. Very inspiring. But she makes no decisions about her life whatsoever. She's like this 'grumpy girls are sexy' trope, because sure no means yes! Innocents from the show tought me plenty of things, like you can be helpful even if you're not qualified for it, your decisions can make difference, you being kind is important etc. Gaby tought me that funny glasses can look cool. But I actually knew it before thanks to many other people.
Villains. But surely Victoria IS a feminist role model! She's sexy and rich and powerful and she gets what she wants. So, genes, being married to a rich guy and ambitions. Ok. I rest my case. These are ACHIEVEMENTS. Let me tell you about, well, I don't know, Angelique, Dr. Dabree, Dr. Egret, Madame Nemirovitch, Miss Sweet etc. They all actually worked and that's what made them awesome villains. Not all of them were pretty, but they all were very efficient and intelligent. Oh, and Victoria was not afraid of being sexually active. Good for her. But the show had plenty of women who could do that as well. So, she's an average villain by the show's standards. And the show is 50 years old. Well, at least, she was memorable. That's something I can't say about uncle Rudi. He was gross, but not even creepy enough. A person from the Russian fandom compared him to Nexor and said that Nexor's two seconds were creepier than Rubi's whatever number of minutes he spent on screen.
Whatever the fuck was their plan with the bomb. Idk and idc. I've seen thousands better evil plans and even making all the fish in the sea copyrighted by the Joker was a more clever one. NUCLEAR BOMBS ARE JUST LAZY, OK? I think they wanted to make the Cold War go Hot, but that's some General Ripper level of planning.
MOTHERFUCKING NAZIS. No, seriously! The show treats them a lot more realistically. In the show they are deep underground except for desperate loners like Professor Amadeus in The Deadly Games Affair. I'd understand if it all would somehow take place in *cough* Argentina *cough*, but not in Italy, not in the 60s.
Sexualities. It is an issue. The show gives you tons of reasons to ship the main characters or see Napoleon as bisexual or see Illya as asexual/demisexual/gay. Yes, we all know that show!Napoleon loves women, but he's not a nymphomaniac, he's also pretty relaxed with admitting that he can find men attractive and flirting with them. The movie shoves it down your throat that he fucks every woman he can even without talking to them or anything, I haven't seen anything as nasty in a long time. And then there's Illya/Gaby that upsets me because, well, I could let my imagination fly in the show and now we have a canon ship. The show gave more freedom with shipping and interpreting things. The movie that was made in 2015 appeared to be more concervative.
Historical accuracy. I'm not a history fan, but what I know is that the soundtrack doesn't make sense. In 1963 most of the music was silly. A lot more silly than we're allowed to think judging by the movie. The songs are written later than 1963 and this whole glamourizing of the time period pisses me off. I squealed happily when I heard Hippy Hippy Shake in X-Men: First Class, the song is cheesy, but it's real. That's what I want.
There can be no sequel and it’s stupid. Because go and figure their motivations! Why can't they all just pack up and leave? None of them even wants to be a spy. That's why they all were hung by their balls during the movie. There are reasons why a person would risk their life: love, money, power, beliefs and danger. None of them really works with the three. They have no reason to work for Waverly. It all just falls apart. Maybe very clever writing would make it work, but meh.
The movie doesn't know if it's serious or not, if it's realistic or not, if it's a parody or a drama and it isn't good enough at anything. The only thing that works well are the actors, but most of them are too tall and I don't know why would they be so much younger than their characters. Writing sucks, there's only one interesting action scene and it was clearly shot for the trailers etc etc. Nobody tried hard enough. But I guess it's watchable. Not for me though.
I might have made some mistakes in this post, because even though I’ve watched the movie three times, I did two of them being drunk. If you don't agree with me, be ready that I won't answer you, because I just don't want to think about it anymore.
Paragraph 17 just passed Five Times Pippi Longstocking Turned Down an Offer, and One Time She Said Yes as my most-kudosed fic on AO3.
What makes me extra happy is that P17 isn't even on my top 5 in number of hits, nor does it cheat the system by being a crossover with several major fandoms like the other one.
So, basically, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. fans are just an extra warm and enthusiastic bunch, and I'm really grateful that this fandom exists.
You know what would be cool? If somebody(s) did an a cappella version of “The Vinciguerra Affair”. Like if they need an Alto I’ve never done a cappella before but I’ll pitch in!
I won’t rewatch it unless somebody holds me as a hostage
Napoleon is nasty in every possible way except towards Illya when he gets to know him. He’s never touched by anything else and his lack of empathy is disturbing.
Illya is straight and wants to get married. ILLYA IS STRAIGHT!!! That’s quite a disgusting ooc. I mean, he can be ace, bi or gay. Not straight.
I’m sorry for Gaby. She’s a plot device and she only wants everybody to leave her alone. They never do. She controls nothing in her life.
Mr. Waverly hardly ever looks comfortable enough, he’s kind of awkward.
Victoria is only rich and powerful because of her marriage. She’s nothing compared to, well, every female THRUSH operative I’ve seen.
The whole uncle Ruby thing.
Most of the music is not from the time period.
Most of dialogues are plain strange and make no sense.
Not enough of good action scenes.
There’s no reason I would believe that THESE are the best spies.
