#mhawders

[tevintermage]

Anders x Hawke

[azuremosquito]

((This one's for that nonny a few days ago who asked for more Anders and Garrett. ))

Anders lay awake, staring at the soiled canvas tarp that stretched above him and served as a roof for their meager shelter. The rain drummed unceasing overhead, the constant patter a permanent fixture in their world since leaving Kirkwall. Some rain seeped through their makeshift home, but for the most part, it respected their boundaries and remained on its own side.

He remembered loving the rain, once. The novelty of experiencing weather for the first time in years as a free man was not something that faded from memory. It was remarkable how quickly that fond sentiment could change when you spent endless days slogging through mud that came up to your knees in places.

But that was neither here nor there. They were dry, for the moment, and safe.

Most importantly, they were together.

The mage turned his head, the firelight near their feet flickering and dancing over the planes of his love's face, casting deep shadows and golden highlights. Garrett could sleep anywhere, no matter the wet or the mud. The faintest trace of a smile reached Anders' mouth, and he reached across the intervening space to lace his fingers with Hawke's. The brunet shifted in his sleep, drool trickling from the corner of his mouth and glistening among the dark bristles of his beard.

“Tell Aveline…” Garrett mumbled in his sleep, “it was the cheese.”

Anders snorted, feeling his smile widen. Whatever happened next, they would face it together. No more secrets.

[margarts]

AU Anders spends a lot of his free time on social media and has tweeted about a certain handsome stranger on more than one occasion….

[azuremosquito]

[Moulin Rogue Starters]: “His eyes upon your face. His hand upon your hand. His lips caress your skin. It’s more than I can stand!” (with either Shae or Garrett. Your choice)

(( Okay so you said Garrett, but I’m gonna write from Anders’ perspective before he and Hawke got together and Garrett had been casually sleeping with Isabela.))

Anders couldn’t help it. He hated it when they walked together, Isabela draping across Garrett with her whole body, always laughing, always touching in some small way. He told himself it was casual, it was meaningless.

His eyes upon your face.

He saw the way Garrett lit up when he talked to her. His eyes focused on her, never glancing away. He hung on every word she said. Jokes passed  between them, fast and frequent. They shared a sense of humor. 

His hand upon your hand.

It was brief, a light brush of fingers across her dark, smooth skin, but Anders’ sharp eyes didn’t miss it. Jealousy flared hot and bright within his breast and Justice reminded him it was necessary. This was for the best. He would only hurt Hawke with what must be done. 

His lips caress your skin.

Garrett’s lips brushed Isabela’s cheek, sweet and tender. At odds with Hawke’s gruff exterior. Anders’ heart stuttered painfully in his chest, a dull ache that the spirit’s passionless logic could not assuage. He didn’t want this. He’d never asked for this.

It’s more than I can stand.

Why does my heart cry?

Feelings I can’t fight.

[nvsuprsnc]

ughhh I’m terribly sorry but I have so many modern!Hawders feels D:

[azuremosquito]

((I felt bad for writing sad angsty handers stuff yesterday and since I ship Anders + happiness, have a follow up to this and this. ))

News of the victory reached them late.

Travelers were scarce this far north, even in clement weather, which was exactly why Anders and Garrett had long ago chosen it to hide out, should the need ever arise. The little mountain village where they traded for what they couldn’t make or hunt on their own kept quiet and didn't ask questions. Bethany and Anders had settled into an isolated cabin on the very outskirts and kept to themselves, only venturing into the village proper when they absolutely had to, so when the peddler came with news of Divine Victoria's decree of the abolishment of the Circles and an end to the mage/templar war, the mage who had been instrumental in its inception was the last to find out.

The door burst open and Bethany barely paused to fling her scarf over the back of a chair and dump her supplies on the table before catching Anders in a hug. The startled blond returned the hug with a puzzled frown and Shelly looked up with a curious head tilt from her place beside the fire. Cheer had been in low supply ever since they’d received Varric's letter about Garrett's death at Amarant.

"Anders you'll never believe the news!"

For a moment, wild desperate hope surged in the healer's chest, but he quashed it just as quickly. He had to move forward with his life and accept Hawke wasn't coming back.

"Apples were on sale?" he guessed, though he felt little mirth.

"The war is over! Anders, Anders, you've done it!" She caught his hands and bounced on her toes.

Her words didn't register and he blinked at her. "What?"

"The roads have finally cleared and a trader made it through with news! The war is over!" she repeated. "There's a new Divine and she abolished the Circles." She bit her lip, grinning as she waited for her meaning to sink in.

Anders stared at her, feeling strangely numb. The mages... were free? Everything he had worked for... All those sleepless nights toiling over his manifesto, nights sneaking mages out of the underground to freedom, days trying to talk to anyone who would listen (and many who wouldn't)... It had all been worth it.

The room spun around him and he sat heavily in the middle of the floor.

Beth laughed and stooped to hug him again and he caught her with one hand, mind reeling. Elation like nothing he had ever known surged through him, the ethereal joy of a spirit fulfilling its function, but the human part of him felt... empty, numb.

It was a hollow victory, without Garrett. Garrett who had stood beside him every step of the way, even when he hadn't deserved it. Garrett who, though not a mage himself, had understood more intimately than anyone what life for a mage outside the Circle could be, the joys and the dangers. Garrett whose entire life had been shaped by the mages he'd loved.

Bethany was watching him and her eyes told him she understood the thoughts reeling through his head all too clearly. "I'm sure wherever he is, he's rejoicing with us,” she said in a quiet voice. She squeezed his hand, seeking comfort as well as giving it.

“Yeah…” Anders swallowed around the lump in his throat.

Bethany sat down beside him and they held each other until the whirlwind of emotions ran its course. They didn’t have to hide like criminals anymore. They could live openly, without fear of the Templars finding out. They could go home.

-----

They made plans quickly. With the weather improving, the roads were opening up again and they didn’t want to delay getting back. They were both quite used to not putting down roots anywhere lest they had to move at a moment’s notice so it was easy enough to gather their things and prepare for their journey. There was no one to say goodbye to, so the next morning, they simply locked the door behind them and went on their way.

Bethany reveled in their newfound freedom, happy to be on the move again, back to some place they could be of help to their fellow mages. Anders too found his feet lighter. They both had lived outside of the Circle for many years, but not many mages had. They could teach them how to live on their own again, how to be self-sufficient. Justice had been restless in their isolation as well. There weren’t many people to serve justice upon in backwoods cabins.

A week into their journey they lost Shelly.

Nothing had happened to her that they could determine, she just disappeared one afternoon and no amount of calling or searching could locate the dog. It hit both of them hard. She was their last remaining tie to Garrett.

“What if she fell in a ditch and got hurt?” Bethany asked, tears thick in her voice.

“She was old… Maybe she just went to sleep somewhere, peaceful?”

They were late pressing on that evening and didn’t get far.

A few days later, Anders realized they were being followed.

Though they followed a well-established road, this far out in the wilderness other travelers were few and far between. Whoever was following them was more likely to be bandits than anything else. Well, they would find two combat skilled mages to be a lot more than they bargained for. Not letting on they were aware of being followed, Beth and Anders continued on, taking care to choose a more defensible camping spot when they stopped for the night.

Anders wasn’t secretive about putting up the wards that time. Though mages were free by chantry decree, there would still be many who harbored fear and resentment. Perhaps if those in pursuit realized they would be tangling with a mage, they’d think twice.

Beth had drifted off to sleep while Anders kept watch when the wards were triggered. The healer was on his feet in an instant, staff in hand and a spell on his lips as he moved toward the disturbance.

“State your- ….Shelly??”

The mabari whined and wagged her nubby tail at him, mouth dropping open in a panting dog grin.

“Anders.”

The mage spun around and his staff fell from nerveless fingers.

Garrett gave him a crooked smile, one hand clutching his side. He took a step toward Anders and crumpled in a heap.

“Garrett.” Anders rushed forward, healing instincts kicking in. “Beth!” he shouted over his shoulder, carefully turned the rogue over to inspect his injuries. “BETH!” Shelly whined and pressed her nose forward, whimpering. They had to get him closer to the fire. He was freezing.

There was a crashing sound behind him and Bethany jumped out with her staff held at the ready. “...what?” She lowered it, puzzled.

“Beth, it’s Garrett. Help me get him to the fire.”

“Garrett?” she breathed, leaping forward to help him lift her brother. The brunet groaned as they moved him, head lolling back against Anders.

“I need to see,” Anders breathed, heart thundering in his ears. The need for healing gave him something to focus on, something to distract from the reeling in his mind. “Put him down gently. I don’t know if anything’s broken,” he instructed as they settled the injured man as close to the fire as they could get.

Garrett grunted in pain, even so but he managed a weak smile for the pair of them. “Would’ve got here sooner but… this damn injury held me up…” He grimaced as Anders cut off his tunic to find where all the blood was coming from.

“Oh Garrett.” Beth caught her brother’s hand and held on tightly. “We thought you were dead. Varric said…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“Well we all know… Varric makes up shit… when he doesn’t know everything...” He tried to laugh but his breath hitched as Anders began cleaning the wound.

“Why’d you walk so far with this injury?” Anders growled. He was not going to let Garrett die on him after he got him back.

“It’s just a little scratch,” the rogue protested weakly. When Anders glared at him, he flinched, holding up a hand in self defense. “I just… wanted to get back to you…”

Anders went still and lifted his eyes to meet Garrett’s, swallowing hard. “I won’t forgive you if you die on me again.”

“Ah, I won’t die.” Garrett flashed another weak smile. “I’ve got the best healer in Thedas looking after me.”

“Damn it, Garrett…” Anders ducked his head, calling upon his magic. “I may need your help with this, Beth.”

----

It took them a few hours before Anders was satisfied Garrett wasn’t going to die on them. It was another hour at least before the healer calmed down enough to sleep, despite his exhaustion. Beth had passed out against her brother on one side, Garrett’s arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. Shelly slept at his feet.

Anders sat up watching them, only letting tears of relief fall when no one was awake to see them. He had his family back. Everyone that mattered to him in this world was right here in front of him. He couldn’t believe it. He might have thought he were dreaming if not for the fact that was Justice’s domain.

He must have made some noise for Garrett’s head turned toward him and the rogue reached a hand out. “Are you ever going to come sleep?” His voice was heavy with sleep.

“You should be sleeping,” Anders admonished, kneeling beside the man and brushing tentative fingers through Garrett’s dark hair.

“So should you,” Garrett returned, his eyes fixed on Anders’ face. He reached up and traced a trembling hand over the mage’s face. “The last time I saw you was in firelight…”

A strangled sob choked Anders and he bent low, pressing his forehead to Garrett’s, shaking. Beth was so worn out she slumbered on, oblivious.

“Hey, hey it’s okay!” Garrett grimaced in pain as he shifted, trying to pull Anders down beside him.

“Damn you, Garrett… damn it! Don’t ever pull that shit again!”

“I’m sorry…” The rogue sounded truly contrite. He tipped his head up and pressed a kiss to Anders’ mouth. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, stroking the mage’s cheek.

“I love you,” Anders breathed. He caught Garrett’s hand and turned his face into it, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I love you, too. I’m not going anywhere again, I promise.”

“You better not.”

“I won’t.”

Anders finally let Garrett pull him down beside him and he nuzzled in against the rogue’s neck, breathing in the scent of him for reassurance. Everything felt right again. “Go to sleep, you silly rogue,” he mumbled, feeling his own lids grow heavy.

“You first…” But the healer was already asleep.

[azuremosquito]

Anders didn’t need to read the letter to know what it contained. Hawke’s face was evidence enough of its contents.

“What is it?” he asked anyway. Perhaps he’d been mistaken. He wanted to believe that. It was better than the alternative.

Garrett didn’t look up right away. His dark eyes scanned the letter in his hand, reading it again and Anders’ heart sank.

“Something’s happening to the Wardens…” Garrett finally replied. The heaviness in his tone was so out of character it turned Anders’ blood cold before the weight of his words even sunk in.

“What?” Anders repeated, praying he’d heard wrong. “What sort of ‘something’?” He hadn’t considered himself a part of the Grey Wardens in over a decade but that didn’t change the fact that his blood still bore the Taint. He was still technically a Warden, whether he liked it or not.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Garrett was dismissive but they both heard the lie as he folded the letter and stuck it into his pack.

Anders’ eyes followed the letter before drifting up to meet his lover’s gaze. There was unusual sobriety on Garrett’s face and that did more to fill the healer with unease than anything the man had said or not said.

“Garrett, please don’t lie to me,” he said with more anger than he intended as the brunet stepped close and pulled the mage into his arms.

“I’m not lying! The Wardens have just… gone missing.” Garrett burrowed his face into Anders’ neck, his beard tickling the blond’s skin. “But Wardens do that sometimes, right? You’ve always said they’re a secretive lot.”

Anders sighed, his arms sliding around Hawke and he pressed his forehead against the man’s shoulder, taking comfort, as he always did, in Garrett's simple proximity. “Then why do you look like a thundercloud right now?”

Garrett turned his head and kissed a slow trail up the side of Anders’ neck instead of answering and started backing them toward the bedroom. The healer tried to resist.

“Garrett! That won’t work this time!”

But Garrett was nothing if not persuasive, and the mage soon stilled his tongue. It was hard to think straight with your lover between your legs plying his tongue, after all.

The Champion was not his usual self that night. He devoted all of his attention on Anders, tender and loving as he brought the mage to climax several times until exhaustion sank the ever-tired healer into a deep sleep.

Garrett held his lover close as the fire burned low, watching the flickering lights turn the beloved face into an unfamiliar landscape of peaks and shadows. He memorized the shape of a long nose, the ever present stubble scraping a strong jawline, reached up to tenderly brush tousled blond hair from a forehead creased with too many sorrows.

"Whatever's happening to the Grey Wardens," he told the sleeping form of the man he had spent the last decade of his life with, "I won't let anything happen to you. Corypheus nearly got you once. I'm going to finish what I started and put an end to him for good."

With more reluctance than he had ever felt in his life, Garrett slid his arm free and climbed from the bed, pulling the blankets close around Anders. Shelly, his old mabari, was quick to leap up and snuggle into his warm spot and Hawke smiled as Anders cuddled against the dog in his sleep. The self-avowed cat person would hate that come morning, but for now, her warmth kept Anders from missing Garrett too soon.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, Garrett ruffled Shelly's ears and bent low to press a parting kiss to Anders' forehead. "I love you," he whispered to the sleeping man.

-----------

Anders slept far later in the morning than was his custom, finding it difficult to pull himself from the pleasant lassitude the previous night had left him with. It was gross slobbery dog kisses that finally did the trick and he had to wrestle with the greying mabari before he could get her off him.

"Garrett! Get your dog!" he snapped, grimacing and wiping his face.

At Garrett's name, Shelly whined and looked toward the door, then back at Anders. A hollow feeling settled squarely in Anders' stomach and he kicked the blankets back, climbing to his feet with wooden motions.

"Garrett?" he called again, knowing he would receive no answer. Shelly stuck to his side as he moved through their small home and, for once, he didn't mind.

He found the note on the small table beside the door, one of Garrett's gloves weighing it down lest it get blown off by a stray gust.

  A,

I lied. Need to look into this for your sake. Need to finish what I started. I'm sending Beth to meet you and I want the two of you to get far away. You're all I have left.

-G

  Crumpling the note in his fist, Anders sat heavily on the floor. He didn't even protest when Shelly leaned on him, resting her drool mouth on his shoulder and whining softly.

"Damn it, Garrett…”

[azuremosquito]

I just want to see Garrett and Anders as daddies to a bunch of mageling girls o3o

Oh dear god, could you imagine Garrett  running after a bunch of little girls, trying to get them all to go to bed? You know he'd totally play dress up with them, too. Anders would come home and find Garrett in a dress with makeup all over his face and his beard full of flowers.

"Anders, don't I look pretty?! :D "

And Anders would laugh and end up with lipstick all over his face as Garrett covered him in smooches. 

NERDS. Gosh. <3