welp another year another redraw - i redid ranboo after i was done so forgive if they're inconsistent sob still not too proud of how he looks but tubbo is deffo an upgrade compared tp last year
Tubbo and Ranboo could only watch this scene unfold, somewhat expecting that this would happen between their friend and their son. What they didn't expect was how quiet Tommy was.
It was silent in the room for a minute or two more, before Tommy reached out a hand and softly booped the top of Michael's nose. The zombie piglin let out a honk of approval, making Tommy's eyebrows raise in amusement. With the piglin happy, the boy turned to face Michael's parents.
"I don't think this is a dog, fellas."
Tubbo and Ranboo both released large sighs of relief that they didn't even know they were holding in, Tommy slightly tilting his head in confusion.
"Well, we said he wasn't a dog, Tommy. We said he was our son."
"Some people call their dogs their kids, so I could only guess."
As the best friends talked, Ranboo gazed over at Michael with affection, feeling a grin spread across his face. What Ranboo didn't expect, however, was how closely Michael seemed to be watching Tommy.
Surprising Ranboo again, the piglin stood up on wobbly legs, trotting over to where Tommy was leaning on a piece of furniture. Snorting, he clutched on to one of Tommy's legs, leading Tommy to jolt from the sudden contact a little, before instinctively trying to lean away from Michael. Recognizing that Tommy was having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Tubbo leaned down and carefully removed Michael's arms from Tommy's leg, mumbling soft words of comfort and encouragement to both Tommy and Michael.
After Michael was removed, Tommy had to take a moment to catch his breath and clear his thoughts, his eyes shutting for a moment as he muttered unintelligible words to himself. Tubbo and Ranboo waited for him to recover, Michael watching with curiosity.
"A'ight, I'm okay now," Tommy inhaled deeply, letting out an equally deep exhale before opening his eyes again.
"I'm really sorry about that-" Ranboo began to apologize before getting cut off by Tommy.
"Nah, don't apologize, big man. Michael's a fetus, he doesn't know about complicated adult things like trauma."
Tubbo let out a snort of laughter, which Michael tried to copy the sound of.
"He's not normally physically affectionate like this on first meetings," Ranboo spoke, though mostly to himself more than anyone else.
Michael let out a squeal of frustration, alerting the trio to the piglin trying to wiggle out of Tubbo's arms. Tubbo and Ranboo's ears stood up in surprise at the sudden noise, the two looking down at their son worriedly. Tommy had looked startled when Michael began his outburst, but now looked much calmer as he leaned down a little to come face-to-face with Michael.
Tubbo and Ranboo's surprise grew even bigger as Tommy began to make squealing and oinking noises himself, causing Michael's fit to stop. The piglin's eyes were wide with excitement as Tommy spoke, his stubby arms starting to wave in excitement as he continued his excited honking, which Tommy responded to as well.
"What the fuck," Tubbo whispered in shock, his eyes wide, and Ranboo had to agree with him there.
Tommy proceeded to sit down on the floor, glancing up at Tubbo with a lopsided smile. "You can put 'em down, Big T. It's alright."
Following Tommy's instructions, Tubbo set his son down, who immediately sprinted towards the blonde at high speeds. He halted in his tracks when Tommy barked out another noise, one that Ranboo and Tubbo didn't understand, that brought Michael to a slower pace. It sounded somewhat familiar to Ranboo, but he didn't know why.
Michael ended up standing in front of a seated Tommy, the taller boy laughing as he reached out his hand slowly. The piglin stepped forward slowly, moving to grip one of Tommy's fingers gently, which allowed Tommy to carefully wrap his hands around Michael, lifting him up to eye level. Tommy let out a small noise again, causing Michael to oink in delight.
Smirking with satisfaction, Tommy looked back over at the stunned parents, sticking out his tongue a little. "Surprise, motherfuckers."
"HOW DID-" Tubbo began to belt out, quickly stopped by Ranboo by the taller boy pressing down on Tubbo's head gently. With this sign from Ranboo, Tubbo cleared his throat, continuing to speak.
"Tommy, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: how the fuck did you do that?"
"Wot? You jealous that I can speak piglin?"
Ranboo was learning so much today that he didn't expect in any way whatsoever.
"One," the enderman spoke, trying to keep his voice at a calm level while his husband stood slack-jawed. "Yes, I am. Two: how do you know piglin?"
The shit-eating grin on Tommy's face grew wider upon seeing how he stunned his friends, causing him to look back at Michael and speak in piglin once more, making the kid chirp out happily.
"Tomathy Danger Careful Kraken Innit Minecraft, you tell me what you just said to him right now," Tubbo folded his arms, trying to hide the previous shock on his face with little-to-no success. Ranboo, meanwhile, now had to process the fact that he had never known Tommy's full name.
"I just told him that I was cooler than the both of you," Tommy barked out a laugh, Michael giggling along with him as Tommy set him back down on the ground.
"Anyway," the blonde continued, watching as Michael began to walk in circles around him. "I learned piglin from Techno. He suggested we use it for commands in battle so nobody else would understand what we were saying."
It suddenly made sense what Tommy had said to Michael that sounded familiar. Ranboo had heard Technoblade use that exact sound when they were exploring in the nether, and had come face-to-face with a piglin squadron. "Wait, were you telling Michael to approach safely?"
"Hell yeah, Ranboob" Tommy gave a thumbs-up, Michael trying to copy the gesture with his own hooves. "When I was still living with him as well, I'd go to the Nether when we had nothing else to do. Yeah, the Nether is a horrible shitty place and I want nothing to do with it, but it was the only way I could make friends while I was still in exile."
"WAIT," Tubbo's eyes widened even more, his face looking like it might split open from surprise. "You spoke with piglins in the Nether!?"
Tommy's reply was shooting finger-guns towards his best friend with a grin, with Michael trying to copy them once more.
"As fascinating as this conversation is, and trust me, I'm absolutely going to ask you to death about this," Ranboo pointed at Tommy in a jokingly accusatory manner. "Tubbo, I think we just lost our son."
Tubbo looked towards Michael, the little one trying intensely to copy Tommy's movements. "God damn it Tommy, you stole our son."
"Hey, I'm not stealing him," Tommy protested with laughter, reaching over to gently pet Michael's head, Ranboo noticing how his touch lingered on the thin layer of hair, stroking it softly. Ranboo noted to himself that piglin hair seemed like a comfort texture to Tommy. He’d tell Tubbo about it later, but for now he’d play along with the bit of his friend stealing his son. “Oh really? Then why’s our son copying you?”
“Because I’m the coolest uncle.”
Silence stretched throughout the room once more, with both Tubbo and Ranboo’s eyes wide. The small on Tommy’s face slowly changed into a worried one, and he looked away from the couple and at the ground. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know if-”
“Watch how hard I can cry,” Tubbo mumbled, his eyes looking bright with joy before he went to Tommy’s side, kneeling down to give him a genuine smile. “Tommy, dude, I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Even better than Ranboo proposing to me.”
“Um, rude,” Ranboo giggled, kneeling at Tommy’s other side and allowing Michael to climb up on his lap. “But yeah, I know what Tubbo’s getting at. We weren’t sure if you would even want to be Michael’s uncle-”
“Wot?” Tommy sounded genuinely surprised at that, his own eyes wide. “Why wouldn’t I want to be? He’s my best friend-brother’s son!”
“I mean, yeah, but after what happened with Techno, we weren’t sure if piglins would...”
Tommy fell quiet, his eyes shifting to gaze at the ground as uncertainty crossed his face. After a stretch of silence, only filled with Michael’s occasional chirring, Tommy gazed back at the two parents. “As complicated as my relationship with Techno might be, that shouldn’t impact this little guy,” Tommy bore his fangs in a grin, making Michael clap with his little hands. “Besides, I can understand him while you two can’t. Who else is gonna teach you two piglin without fuss?”
“Are you holding our child’s language for ransom?” Tubbo was about to playfully punch Tommy in the arm, but appeared to suddenly remember the situation and placed his hand back down.
“Noooo, but now you two need me.”
Ranboo rolled his eyes, making Tommy pretend-pout at him. Tommy folded his arms, faking disappointment. “You’re so mean to me, Ranboo. I take back my marriage blessing.”
“My husband! No!”
“We can elope, Ranboo. Tommy can’t stop us.”
“I’m holding your whole son for ransom then.”
“Actually, I don’t need my husband anymore.”
“Tubbo! How could you do this to me?
And Michael squealed with delight as the three continued on into the night.
Grass is green, the sky is blue, and my husband keeps secrets from me. My son has started eating eggs raw and raiding our pantry because he’s afraid we’ll run out of food, and I work with a man whose only objective is to spite his rival. I work nine to five, I don’t need a job, but my husband likes it that I’m getting out of the house so I do. For some reason he works next door.
When he looks at me, he feels safe, and when I look at him, I know what it’s like to soar. I cradle him at night and listen to him wail through paper thin walls pretend I didn’t then go to work the next day. Our son is asking for a new box of crayons our son is asking for a new box of crayons I need to write that down somewhere but without a pen I’ll run it over and over again.
When he draws us, I take up half the page while Tubbo’s hand is soft in his. We look like a family and it’s beautiful.
On Tuesdays, a boy who pretends not to hurt but breaks at the seams bursts through our door, complains about how much he hates me, and collapses onto our couch. Michael climbs next to him and shows him the new drawing he made. He always compliments and fawns over it and we know it’s because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a father but he likes being an uncle and he likes encouraging Michael and we see the sparkle in his eyes and the smile he can’t hide when Michael lights up like a Christmas tree and he wants to show Michael the world. But we don’t say anything.
On Sundays, I meet with the Syndicate and those days are hard because I have to make sure two lives don’t collide into each other like freight trains and that’s frustrating but I make it work. I go home and see my son my husband the boy who always hurts sitting on the couch fast asleep and I know what it’s like to love. I drape a blanket across them, kiss my husband and son on the head, (ruffle Michael’s and the boy’s hair and Michael will giggle and Tommy will scrunch up his nose and I’ll try not to wake him,) and then I’ll go upstairs. In the mornings, I’ll pretend to be asleep when I feel a warm body crawl into bed, and I’ll pretend to not notice when a small toddler slips in between us.
headcanon that michael is picking up bits of english, even if it’s just sounds, and he starts calling tommy something that vaguely sounds like “tom-bee” which ends up just being *snort*-bEE when he’s really excited and it took tubbo and ranboo awhile to figure out that whenever michael starts loudly going “BEE BEE BEE BEE” that he wants to see tommy
One day I'm going to write the "Techno and Michael get glitched into a hardcore survival world and they have to beat the game to get back while Ranboo, Tubbo and Phil think they're dead" fic. One day.