Langdon goes back to work after 10 months. This is what I think happens during that time.
First, after Robby finds out, he sits in his car and tries to convince himself it’s not that bad. He drives around for a while and then parks a few houses down from his own because what the fuck is he supposed to say to Abby? He then gets an alert about pittfest and decides fuck it, they need my help I’m going back.
After him and Robby have it out in the ambulance bay, he goes home. Kids are asleep but he checks on them anyway before showering. Abby wakes up when he slips into bed and asks him if he’s okay. He nods, mumbles something like “I’m okay. Go back to sleep.” He doesn’t sleep.
The next day, he tells Abby he’s got a few days off and tries to convince her to take some days off work so they can go into the countryside. She tells him she can’t at such late notice and tells him to take the kids to school/daycare. He goes crazy sitting at home.
The fourth day he ends up at Robby’s door because he knows it’s his day off. Robby tells him he physically cannot come back to work unless he fixes up - he will not allow Langdon into the doors of the ER unless there’s proof of sobriety.
Langdon hides the fact that he’s not going to work buy waking up early and spending his day at the park. He decides to just go cold turkey. It’s only benzos, he can do this himself. Not reason to land somewhere as serious as rehab, it’s not even that bad of a problem.
His own try at sobriety lasts maybe 2 and a half days. He ends up dipping into his emergency supply of pills because he can’t get them at the hospital anymore.
He runs out of them in about 4 days. This is when he starts to get really pissy. Arguing with Abby, every little thing sets him off, he even raises his voice at Tanner. Abby tells him to piss off until he’s calmed down. He leaves the house and tries to suppress the itch with alcohol. It doesn’t work but he does end up tracking down Louis, the drunk that he stole drugs off. Langdon knows the bars he frequents so when he meets him, he tries to ask, very casually if he has anything on him and to his disappointment he doesn’t.
He ends up back home and downs some of Abby’s Xanax. He wakes up in a pile of his vomit with Tanner shaking his shoulder asking if he can have a banana.
Later that night, after he realised what a fucking idiot he was being, he tells Abby that he hasn’t been to work in two weeks. She doesn’t seem surprised by this. He tells her that he got into trouble for stealing. Stealing what, she asks. So he tells her, stealing benzodiazepines. Why did you steal them, Frank, she asks but he’s sure she knows the answer. Because I think I have a problem, he says and it’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud.
Abby helps him book himself into rehab. She tells him that she’s proud of him and that they’re going to get through this.
He lasts maybe a week. He gets home and tells Abby it was like hell and how he can do it from home, he can become sober at home.
It takes him 2 weeks to realise he can’t. It takes a very serious phone call from his sister and panicked phone call to Robby because he just needs something tonight, just tonight and he’ll fix up tomorrow. He just needs something tonight.
Robby picks him up and takes him home after seeing the look on Abby’s face. Frank cries himself to sleep and the two of them go back to rehab the next day. Robby watches him sign his name and then tells him it’s going to be hard, it’s supposed to be. He tells him that there are people counting on him on get better. He tells him about the people they see everyday, good people who have families but can’t seem to get better. Robby tells him he has to try because after this, he’s not sure he can help again.
Langdon hates rehab but he sticks with it. He does the 30 days and it gets a lot harder before it gets better. It doesn’t even really get better. He comes home after 30 days and has a panic attack when he sees Abby’s Xanax pills. He goes back to rehab.
After another 60 days, Frank feels just good enough to leave. He’s been sober about 3 months. But going home is more difficult that he realised. He’s constantly on edge, constantly shaking and constantly wondering if this is all worth it.
He goes to NA meetings every day, sometimes twice a day and they suck but listening to the 60 year old man talk about how his kids don’t talk to him freaks him out just enough to make it through the night.
Abby’s great about the whole thing. He can tell she’s entirely upset and overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from him. It makes him feel like shit. He does the kids night time routine and drops them to school in the morning. He ignores Robby’s phone calls. He messages Cassie and asks her how the fuck she does this. They get coffee and she tells him she just does because seeing Harrison smile is better than any drug. Frank hopes he finds it in him to believe that.
He goes stir crazy at home and he declutters everything which is terribly inconvenient for Abby but she bites her tongue. She’s not very happy these days. He listens to medical podcast whilst going on long walks, just close enough to the hospital to see the ambulances pulling in but never close enough to see any of his colleagues.
He cooks, cleans, learns to garden and hates everything about it but his kids giggle when they play dinosaurs before bed and Langdon slowly starts believing what Cassie said.
They get more coffee and she, unprompted, tells him about life at PTMC. He smiles when he learns that Mel is doing well, that Whitaker is keen on doing his first year at PTMC.
There are a few meetings about his return to work. He’ll have to redo part of his residency which is expected. Still kills part of him though.
His therapy reduces from twice a week to once a week. He tells his 56 year old bald therapist named Bobby that he’s sure Abby is staying with him because she feels like she has to. He tells him that he’s scared he’s only sober for his kids and that when they get older he won’t be able to control himself anymore. He tells him that he’s absolutely shitting himself thinking about going back to work, for more than one reason.
He schedules time to meet Santos because he has to apologise to her. He goes into the coffee shop with no intention to do so, instead he just wants to know why she did it. And to his surprise, it was never about him. It wasn’t a personal attack - he was high at work. That was all. He isn’t happy but he understands. He apologises for shouting at her.
July feels long away but it creeps up on him. He starts sleeping in the guest room unless Abby wants him. Even then it feels all too emotional, like she’s scared he’ll crack under her grip. Langdon hates it. He’s nearly 6 months sober now.
A few weeks before he’s due back to work, he has dreams that he walks into the ER and finds his body limp against their pharmacy supply. He doesn’t tell anyone about that. Robby keeps messaging and he reads them without replying. He sees him at the disciplinary meetings in June. Frank avoids his gaze whilst agreeing to the random drug tests and locker searches. It’s humiliating but he still has a medical license.
On July 4th, 6:50am, Langdon stares at the no parking sign in the ambulance bay whilst smoking a cigarette. His chest hurts and he’s not entirely convinced he won’t die here. But then he hears the voice of someone cheerful. “You’re back!” Mel’s grinning up at him. Frank exhales loudly and presses his cigarette against the brick wall. “I’m back.” And then she starts going on about some patient she saw yesterday and he ends up following her in, listening attentively. He ends up by the lockers and realises that it wasn’t so scary after all.
