LITERARY: In many other universes, just not ours
To the one who kept me company while I was pining over someone else:
Hi! It really hasn’t been a while since we last talked, so this will be weird... but I figured, before I run out of time, I’d go ahead and write to you.
Maybe I’ll just be reopening scars, but you won’t be reading this anyway. Or, I could say that even if you do read this, you won’t know it’s for you. I’m safe… I think. I just really want to get this off my chest.
During the times you kept me company, staying awake to talk to me for who knows what reason, listening to all my troubles (and me listening to yours), caring for me, asking how I am, escaping time, and, most definitely, sleep—during all those times, I appreciated you. I still do, until now, even if you don’t particularly do those things anymore. I’m still grateful for them. I never questioned them one bit, ‘cause we’re friends, after all.
Then I realized you were secretly hoping for us to become something more—and I couldn’t give you that.
Those times you kept me company were also times that you spent having to stay awake for someone who wished a different person stayed awake for them. Those times were also the times you had to listen to them gush over another person, care for another person, talk about another person… A person who you wished was you instead.
I’m sorry for hurting you. Had I pushed you away, it would’ve hurt less. But, like me, you didn’t want that, either. We’re friends, after all. To sacrifice friendship over feelings was to sacrifice a good one. That’s why you let the feelings rot instead.
But maybe, in a parallel universe, we would’ve been something more. Maybe I would’ve liked you. Maybe there wouldn’t have been another person. Maybe it wouldn’t’ve been too late. Maybe just then, you wouldn’t have wasted your time wishing for something I couldn’t give you.
Though, we’re happy now. Content, actually. We’re still friends, and you’ve moved on, so there’s no need for all the what-ifs of my curiosity.
I would prefer those what-ifs to happen there, in many other universes, just not ours.
—I bet you’ll agree with me on that.
