Holiday Theme: Happy Hogswatch
"This is disgusting, this whole business," said Constable Visit. "It's the worship of idols--"
"It's a genuine Burleigh and Stronginthearm double-action triple-cantilever crossbow with a polished stock and engraved silver facings!"
"--a crass commercialization of a date which is purely of astronomical significance," said Visit, who seldom paid attention when he was in mid-denounce. "If it is to be celebrated at all, then--"
"I saw this in Bows and Ammo! It got Editor's Choice in the 'What to Buy When Rich Uncle Sidney Dies' category! They had to break both the reviewer's arms to get him to let go of it!"
"--ought to be commemorated in a small service of--"
"It must cost more'n a year's salary! They only make 'em to order! You have to wait ages!"
"--religious significance." It dawned on Constable Visit that something behind him was amiss.
"Aren't we going to arrest this imposter, corporal?" he said.
Corporal Nobbs looked blearily at him through the mists of possessive pride.
"You're foreign, Washpot," he said. "I can't expect you to know the real meaning of Hogswatch."
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather