IF you’re having a good day, I’d recommend you skip this post unless you’re a psychopath like me and enjoy making yourself sad.
You know what just occurred to me is how Menendez captured David. As far as we know, David was being taken care of by Jenny Hudson (Hudson’s wife) before he was captured. But how he was captured was never specified.
As far as we know, Menendez got a hold of David and used him as blackmail against Hudson, who attempted to save David’s life in exchange for leading Woods to kill Mason. Then all three and “dead” Mason (depending on how you shot him) were captured anyway.
You know what’s fucked up?
The implication that Jenny Hudson and possibly Hudson’s two kids being killed in the process of capturing David.
Menendez’s idea of suffering is grief through death, and he specifically looks at Hudson when saying “Because you must suffer, as I have suffered!” after Hudson explains to Woods what happened. While it’s not out of the question David could have been captured at school (the mission was on Dec. 19th, 1989, a Tuesday) Menendez is not the type of guy to walk away without someone close to his target dead.
So when Hudson says to Woods, “I can’t [do it], I have two kids,” he has no idea they and his wife are already dead.
And that’s why it was such a sudden and awkward switch for Hudson to go from begging Woods to take it to screaming “ME! DO IT!” Part of it was because he wanted to spare David’s life. Part of it was because they had 10 seconds to decide.
But part of it was also, as Hudson was trying to convince Woods to die instead, it clicked to him that his family was dead. And Hudson didn’t want to face being the sole survivor of his family.
To make it worse, David loved the Hudson family like his own.
I just had a flash back memory to a moment on the school bus where kids were just... eating toothpaste like it was candy?
Did this happen to anyone else? I feel like it was a short trend in my life where for a week kids were just eating toothpaste right out of the tube. N LIKE....NO ONE SAID SHIT
Maybe things started out good. And in another life or time or under any other circumstances, maybe it could have worked. Instead of the things that tore us apart, maybe we would’ve been brought together. Instead of blood stained kisses and angry words, there could have been laughter and bruises that didn’t hurt or need to be covered up. Marks from long nights of love instead of long nights of anger. Maybe in another life we’ll have that.
But not in this life. Because even if it’s the only love I’ll ever know, it’s toxic. It drains our happiness and sanity. And even if we have moments of clarity, this love will never be anything but poisonous. And I know (with all that I am) that if you asked me to stay, I wouldn't be able to turn you down. Even if it killed me. So that’s why, for the both of us, I have to say goodbye. I love you.
It's usually this time of the night when random thoughts enter my mind and have realizations not just about my life but also with other things around. One of these things is love being a game. Our interaction and behavior nowadays are so different from before that we get confused with distinct definitions of the two.
Love is different from a game. I believe that these two should never be combined together for love and everything in between should not be played like it's one hell of a game. It is more of a natural thing wherein you free fall blissfully in the arms of someone who is sincerely special in your heart. You are already struck even before seeing the arrow being pierced. It is not to be forced nor to be played with; anything that is can never be considered as authentic love. It's merely a game set in a pretend cloud nine. Only time will tell when our right moment is; we should not fight against it, not tire ourselves thinking something is true and legit when it's not. You'll just end up hurting yourself, first and foremost. I think it's better to first ponder whether what you feel is sincere and if that can lead into something that will make you better and happier. That way, you are lowering your chances of hitting rock bottom. More like saving yourself from all the shit and lies wrong people will keep on giving you. *taps glasses*
Ang pagibig ko sayo ay parang tinapakang ipis. "Akala ko patay na, ndi pa pala. "
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit sa tagal tagal ng panahon. Walang communication, tapos nagkaroon ng kanya kanyang love life.. Eh kapag nagkikita at nagkakasama tayo.. It always seems like its the first time. The same goosebumps that had happened to me. You always give me that feeling. Pero hanggang dun lang lage. Tung tipong sa una lang masaya. Pag nagtagal. Wla na naman communication. Alamoyun. Parang kabuteng bigla nlang ulit susulpot. Hindi ko alam kung biitaw nb ako eh.. Mahirap kse umasa. But with thise words you always say.. I always fall. So stupid of me. I hate myself for that. Ang hirap kse. Masakit. Gusto kong malaman kung ikaw ba tlga. Kase lahat ng taong mapapalapit sken, iniiwanan ko lng dn kapag anjan ka. Ndi naman ata tama yun. Kase ako taga salo mo lang ganun? Puro ka salita e. be a man. Para sabihin skin if you really love me. Ayoko ng magpakatanga. One moment i feel loved, then i'll become some stupid piece of trash. I hate you for that. So please. Just be honest.
