I was recently introduced to yandere and I still don’t know how I feel about it. How can I get the devotion of a possessive lover without getting the controlling aspect of a possessive lover? I don’t want to be owned but I do want to belong. I don’t want to be controlled but I do want to be claimed. I don’t want to be told what to do but I do deeply value a partners perspective and want their input. I have no interest in forcing someone to do anything, but I do want to have an effect on their lives. I want to be significant. I want to be considered and chosen. That aspect of the dynamic is so enticing, but I can’t relate to the other elements.