#mildly existential

[the-fermi-system]

fun little exchange I had with a sysmate once:

[statiic-tea]

I don't like Christmas or Birthdays because I'm forced to confront the question of "who am I as a person? And what do I want?"

It gets very existential, very quickly.

And I don't have a strong sense of who I am anyway, so I can never come up with an honest answer.

AND THEN I have to ASK for things. And blindly *hope* I get them??

Not a fan.

[several-ghostly-thoughts]

Someday, my bones will descend into the earth,

But I will not die.

I'll live in the plants I grew,

In the people I talked to,

In the oceans I swam in,

In the trails I walked,

In every sunset I ever saw.

I will not die because I will always be here.

[low-polypony]

I feel weird. Maybe I’ll elaborate later. Who fucking knows

[obsheen]

So it's the middle of the night where I'm at and I wanna dump my thoughts out a bit.

I became debt free like two days ago and while I definitely should be hyped I keep thinking about how I could so easily fall back into that trap at any given time. Given the absolute corpo hellhole that is the world around me, any event out of my control like a medical emergency could put me into wondering how I'm gonna afford food or a roof over my head. Obviously I'm not the worst case out there and I'm absolutely not the only person with these kinds of concerns. Like am I ever going to know peace or live in a world that has a lick of equity for the people around me?

What the hell are you supposed to do when all the good people are drowning?