on katara and white feminism
i was thinking a little bit about how Katara and other atla women are seen as "traditionally feminine."
there's this crisis that almost all south asian women go through where we're hyper-masculinized to the point of not knowing how we fit into being feminine.
there's a unique pain in the realization that you'll never be feminine like the white women around you expect you to be. that you'll never have their paper-thin eyebrows or perfectly slim figures or sleek straight hair or small nose or whatever beauty standard is centered around whiteness (although is not necessarily contained to being white--but is a standard set for women of color to make us think of white features as desirable). or you'll never be seen as quiet and demure and worthy of protection (which can fit into why this type of femininity is seen as lesser than, but there's also safety in the protectionism of white women, especially from the demonized man of color).
it's why there's such a huge movement against white feminism--women of color have such a different experience from white women as to fitting in to what white supremacy deems "feminine."
it's been a longtime coming, but i think i'm finally starting to realize that being feminine goes deeper than what my surface features tell me or what society expects me to be.
that's why i like katara so much. she is a little whitewashed -- her eyes are large and blue and her figure is slim, but this is not what makes her feminine. What makes her feminine is how fiercely feminine she is. she is compassionate and nagging and caring and angry and ambitious. and all of this is what encompasses her femininity-- not because she does chores, not because she has healing abilities, not because she wears makeup. but because her femininity is a part of her actions and choices. she is not a fighter in spite of being feminine--she's a fighter because she is feminine.
in all honesty, part of the way i was able to come to terms with being feminine in a way that is not defined by western stereotypes is exploring my own culture. i'm Hindu, and the three central female goddesses worshipped in Hinduism are Parvati, Lakshmi, and Saraswati. There are many ways to define their characteristics, but in general Parvati is seen as the Mother goddess, Lakshmi the goddess of wealth and abundance, and Saraswati the goddess of knowledge. i found myself very close to these manifestations of femininity because they encompass such fierce versions of what femininity is--something that i felt more comfortable with after society pushed me out of the femininity worthy of protection. Parvati manifests into power, war, ferocity, compassion, family. she is all of these things and the things they encompass, too, and i think it's a really beautiful way of seeing femininity.
i think it's a really important way to view the atla girls, too. there's this subconscious idea that ty lee is somehow more "feminine" than katara or suki or mai or toph or azula because she is the bubbly pink feminine that we've been accustomed to seeing. she's the nice and the compassionate and the loyal (among other things) and those are all feminine. but the fierce, and the ambition, and the blades and the flame and the ice are all feminine, too. its why people saying that political leadership or any sort of organizing role is a masculine trait is wrong; those things absolutely encompass femininity, just in different ways.
anyway, this was all started because i've been seeing people say that saying katara shouldn't be a healer is misogynistic because they're discrediting feminine roles. but i don't think they understand that femininity is not just the compassion or the helping or the healing abilities. katara has those, but she also has the ferocity and the war and the ice. and those can also manifest in a healing role, but the way katara's healer future was envisioned--her being demure and sad and alone in the South Pole--is not who she is. and that's fine. it's fine to be a different feminine than what people tend to think of when they think of femininity. but it's not fine to force her into the kind of femininity that is deemed acceptable by white supremacy--the kind that is demure and quiet and following, and again, is fine if that is who you are as a person. this is the basis for being anti-choice feminist; the realization that some choices can be easier for women depending on what roles society forces us into. that the statements that women will be criticized for whatever they do because femininity is deemed lesser than, and that one version of femininity is deemed more acceptable because it is centered around whiteness, can coexist.
it's also why i think terfs are ridiculous. (side note: i am not trans so feel free to criticize this) femininity has nothing to do with what body you were born with or the physical traits you exhibit at birth. femininity is a part of your actions and choices and personality, and it can sometimes bleed into what we see as masculine because gender is a spectrum and these traits are not completely separated from each other by a hard line.
anyway, i think such sums up my thoughts about white femininity and why i think katara and other girls in atla encompass the beauty and complexity that is being feminine.
