Dec 13, 2020
Okay, so even though they’re fictional characters, the fact that they’re buying their first home when they’re 38 and 41 makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.
Okay, so even though they’re fictional characters, the fact that they’re buying their first home when they’re 38 and 41 makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.
Habits are vile things. Or they are when we’re talking about them. When we’re not talking about habits, it’s because they’re precedents which elders and society expect from us. Waking up by 7 to go to work or school. Brushing our teeth. Washing our hair. Using our turn signal. (Funny how that one is the first to go.) But when someone brings up a habit, it’s usually negative. Biting nails, skipping breakfast, speeding. Things which endanger us. Physically, at least. But what about habitual nature? You know, the things we do out of routine? The need to hold someone’s hand when you walk beside them in the grocery aisle. That tug in your wrist which tells you to intertwine fingers and to set your hand on someone’s knee while you’re driving. The want to rest your head on a shoulder during a warm embrace. Those are habits. And I’ll be honest, they’re very nasty ones indeed.
A Madman
There are not that many famous people whose passing really, really upset me-- Jack Layton, Heath Ledger, Gord Downie, Michelle Trachtenberg... and now, James Van Der Beek.
He really was a versatile actor in a way that consistently took me by surprise, he nailed creepy on SVU, super funny on Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23, and of course annoying as only a teen can be in Dawson's Creek. And his Instagram was great too, just a dude who loved his wife and kids and genuinely enjoyed learning and doing new things.
This is all to say, thank you Mr. Van Der Beek for much joy over the years.
I've played Skyrim Elder Scrolls for years but I've never actually done thencivil war quests. I could never decide between the empire and the stormcloaks. But I have two characters now doing each side of the civil war and-maybe it's because I'm drunk-some of Jorleif's dialog really got me. As millennials we always say we're sick of living through historical moments, but Jorleif says it's a lucky time to be alive precisely because it's a historical moment and he can influence the outcome. Idk, like I said, I'm playing while a bit drunk but it seems like a much better attitude to have.
If I die young, idgaf what you bury me in so long as I have a side part.
At the risk of my sanity and stellar ✨️online reputation✨️, I'm gonna drop my most Boomer opinion, as a not-quite-elder Millenial.
Stop canceling people and stop censoring things.
I know we, as mere peons, have little vote in the censorship arena, but I mean generally, amongst your peers, amongst your fellow Internet denizens.
I grew up when the internet was brand spankin new, back before there were ads, fact checkers, regulations of any kind. I remember Chris Poole (teehee, amirite), I remember stumbling upon porn, decapitations, and slurs, ableism, and racism beyond your wildest dreams. I like to think I turned out okayish. But my point is this: your morals and values aren't shaped upon you by the outside world. Your parents and immediate community shape that, but the maintenance of that is all on you, whether you enforce that or not. For example, a YT™️, I do have a degree of instilled racism. But my family and community taught me black people are the same, good, cool, etc. All that exposure to the evilest of evils on the internet did not change that. My parents taught me something, I reinforced it independently, so nothing any jackhole had to say on the internet could change that.
While I do applaud this generation's willingness to discuss mental health and prioritize vulnerability, yall do seem to be really into "cancel culture" and don't say slurs, respect my pronouns, that was really hurtful, don't be such a whatever-ist.
Babes, little lambs, sweet summer children, hearken: let people say their shit. Let them be the loudest, most manipulative, racist, anti-semitic, sexist, etc motherfuckers. Why? Because that way, you can see their true colors at the outset. Instead of this situation where, say, some youtube celebrity seems so great but oh no he was texting minors all along who could have seen it coming, or this influencer on TikTok was a Nazi all along!
Would they have necessarily come out with that shit straight out the gate? No, but if someone is truly comfortable, they'll say it a lot sooner rather than later. The goal in your flock is to make the wolves as obvious to spot as possible. To me, in my singular, most humblest opinion, it feels like you're giving the wolves extra fleece and teaching them MUA tips on how to blend in. That's all.
Hearing or seeing bad things won't hurt you or change who you are fundamentally as a person, and I think that fear of being exposed to things is a bit snowflake-y. The opinions of others can't make you a racist, or give you an ED, or whatever; who you are are is on you, and if you think you might be that easily influenced, work on that. Integrity isn't exactly inherent, it's a skill. You're not a bad person for being easily influenced. No one online is going to tell you the 100% truth, it's opinion soup up in here, baby. You choose who you are, you cultivate your experience.
that all being said, I AM glad fucked up shit is harder to find because oof
When I first came into Tumblr, I was all for the hype and wanting to be Tumblr famous.
But coming here again and starting fresh as an older and somewhat more mature being, I must admit that the followers don’t really matter to me. Right now, I’d just like for my life to resemble what I post. I’m not there yet, but at least I know what my aesthetic is. I know what I love even when people aren’t looking. I’m not trying to be like anyone else. These pics may be other people’s content, but my inner self can relate. You can call that growth.
If you could go back to any point in your life and alter any and every detail that you wish, would you do it? If you said yes, good for you. I'm not here to say you're wrong. I'm not here to convince you otherwise. I'm here to offer my view and why, as a sober, broke, college student (one who is looking at not only a 5th, but a 6th year of classes in order to graduate), I would much rather leave things the way I've let them play out. Because hindsight is truly 20/20. If I could go back in time to any point in my life, any point at all, I would go back to August 27th, 2013, at approximately eight in the evening EST. I'd find my way to room 1609 in Kirwan Tower, part of the Kirwan-Blanding dorm complex at the University of Kentucky, and I'd sit down and tell 18 year old me about everything that will happen to him over the next three years, two months, and twenty-something odd days. Every big fight. Every yelling match with his parents. Every relationship. Every failed class and exam. Every friendship and every girl he will text that will end up not being the right girl for him. I'll tell him about the patchwork trip via a hitchhike, MegaBus, and stranger's van he will take in 109 days to Milwaukee to finally enter the world of DCI (it'll actually end horribly). I'll tell him about the faithful day exactly 22 months down the road where he'll put his leg between a visual tech's somewhere in Indiana and tear his meniscus in two. I'll tell him that exactly three years from the day, he'll be living in West Virginia, attending a university he hasn't heard of yet, having left behind not one but two girls who probably could've made him incredibly happy. And I'll tell him to do it all the same way I did. Because he deserves to learn as much as I did. Wanting to change what you did holds you back. It causes regression of the individual and keeps you from living a truly amazing life. We can want for more. We can long for something, or someone, we hoped we had done. But we should never wish to change the past. Our previous actions make us who we are and shape what we will one day be. A very creative individual I mentioned in a past article came up with the term 'alazia.' The fear that you're no longer able to change. A fear which is unfounded. Some people almost have a phobia of this construct, terrified that a 9 to 5 in a cardboard cubicle contained within a building older than our parents is where they're destined to live out the last 20-40 years of their lives. But it's silly, don't you think? Because 20 years ago, I was barely 2, living in Alaska, awaiting the first of two younger brothers. Yugoslavia was still a country, which is very strange to think about. 101 Dalmatians hadn't hit theaters and Internet Explorer had yet to enrage millions of Americans with its inadequacy. So why should I think 20 years from now I'll be living the current status-quo? I don't. My favorite author is now someone I have outlived. She once wrote, "We're so young. We're so young. We're twenty-two years old. We have so much time. There's this sentiment I sometimes sense, creeping in our collective conscious as we lie alone after a party, or pack up our books when we give in and go out - that it is somehow too late. That others are somehow ahead. More accomplished, more specialized. More on the path to somehow saving the world, somehow creating or inventing or improving. That it's too late now to BEGIN a beginning and we must settle for continuance, for commencement." She's been gone for a little over 4 years now. I wonder where she would be. What her 26 year old self would be like. Would she still be throwing parties? Would she be married? Would she have given in to the social pressure to have kids in a world that doesn't want more people? I have nostalgia for the future, and it's a curse if there ever was one. Because I wonder what I'll be like at 26. In the far off year of 2020. Will I have found the woman of my dreams? Will we be married, expecting our first child? Will we be throwing parties so loud and out of control that our neighbors have to call the police to complain? Will we be best friends? I would like to think so. And I would like future me to keep that a secret for now.
Looking at Now (https://www.theodysseyonline.com/looking-at-now)